Inform the World
"At least we handled that somewhat decently," Yako said, rubbing her stomach as they left her home. Neuro smirked, amused by the short time spent there. Yako could only imagine kicking Neuro in his demon jewels until he cried in pain. His merciless onslaught of teases in front of his mother might have given her the wrong idea about Yako. "Why do you consistently rub your stomach?" Neuro asked, looking at her. "You probably wouldn't understand, being a demon and a male," Yako smiled. "But it feels special and warm…knowing something is growing inside of you. You should rub it."
"And get my hand eaten alive?" Neuro remarked.
"Come on," Yako said, bumping her hip into Neuro. "Rub my belly."
"If I lay with dogs, I'll catch fleas," Neuro smirked.
"Rub my belly!" Yako smiled, lifting her shirt up. "Come on! Take a rub!"
Neuro simply grinned and continued walking. He had yet another plan to humiliate her.
"You're just shy," Yako laughed. "But you weren't shy when you got me pregnant. Rub it! Rub my belly!" Suddenly Neuro began to run.
"Wait a minute! You're actually running away?!" Yako said in shock. "Come back and rub me! It's all for you Neuro!" She found herself chasing Neuro with her fingers lifting her shirt up, her stomach exposed as she ran. Neuro grinned as he turned the corner. Yako followed him, suddenly bumping into a tall gentleman.
"Mr. Sasazuka," Neuro innocently said, hiding behind the officer. "Sensei is running around the streets, flashing her chest at innocent people!"
"What?! That's not true!" Yako said, realizing how unusual the sight of her dashing through the streets with her open shirt. "Mr. Sasazuka, I wasn't flashing anybody. Really."
"I believe you," Sasazuka said, "But I'd like to know what's going on."
"Well…it's kind of hard to explain…" Yako said. "I was trying to get Neuro to rub my stomach because…well…I'm having baby."
"Really?" Sasazuka said, surprised by only expressing it with a slightly opened mouth. He lit a cigarette from his pocket before continuing. "Is it mine?"
"N-no…why would it be yours?" she asked, putting her shirt back down.
"I don't know," he replied. "I usually tend to second guess and question everything. Just making sure."
"So…would you have believed me if I said it was?" Yako asked.
"Probably," Sasazuka said, breathing out a cloud of smoke. "Life is a twisted jester. I assume you got pregnant to fill the empty void in your life from your father's death."
"No! Why do people think that? Wait…Mr. Sasazuka…are you…high?" Yako asked, sniffing the unusual odor of the cigarette. He had bags under his eyes and an oddly peaceful look about him.
"I might be," he said. "Down at the police station the guys like to pull pranks on me by switching the tobacco inside my cigarette with marijuana. They say I tend to get poetic and paranoid when I smoke it."
"What kind of prank is that?" Yako asked. "Well…I can't really be around you when you smoke. I have to consider my precious baby."
"I agree," Sasazuka said. "But remember this Yako Katsuragi. A child is simply the ripple that echoes, touching all though mute, sounding and forming the world with just existence, giving the moon its meaning with the gleaming eyes of awe and wonder, blessing the world with the dormant meanings awoken by birth and laughter." After that he waved her off before turning and walking away.
"What did he just say?" Yako asked, muddled by the melody of words that suddenly came from the officer's mouth.
"It was beautiful," Neuro said, pulling out a tissue.
"Stop acting like you're crying you heartless monster," Yako said, seeing through the façade.
"This napkin isn't for me," he said. "Your face is filthy. If you're going to be my wife you'll have to do something about your horrid odor and lack of hygiene."
"Don't groom me!" Yako said. "I'm a clean person. You're the person who literally smells like Hell."
"You don't like my sulfuric acid cologne?"
"Why would anybody like that? You should try to smell like a human," Yako said. "Like me. I bathe regularly and always keep a well groomed form."
"You smell like bacon," Neuro said.
"So? It's not like I love the smell of bacon so much that I have a perfume that smells like bacon…" Yako nervously said, reminding herself to hide her perfume from Neuro so he wouldn't find out the dreaded truth.
The two continued to walk down the sidewalk, looking around as usual to busy themselves. Yako made sure to slip her vision over to Neuro, curious as to what he was thinking or how he was acting. "Have any idea what you want to name the baby?" Yako asked.
"Lucifer Beelzebub Hellsing Nogami," Neuro said. "Or Ultimate Mystery, then I can eat him and all will be fine with the world."
"Dark humor huh?" Yako sighed. "Well, what if it's a girl?" Suddenly she imagined a baby girl with Neuro's evil, glowing eyes. It resembled an evil doll more than a living creature. Yako flinched at the malevolent smile it would give her. "I hope it has my eyes…" Yako said. "I don't want any girl of mine to have wheels for eyes."
"A girl?" Neuro muttered. He never really thought of the gender of the child, a part of him assumed it would be a male. Maybe that was his hope from the beginning.
"Rom Piku sounds nice," Yako said, "But a little weird. How about Kaede? Or…Sakura?"
"You want to name the child after a tree?" Neuro asked, looking down at her with a judgmental expression burnt into his eyes. He was beginning to lose faith in Yako's name-picking abilities. Then it struck him. What if the child had Neuro's taste for puzzles but had Yako's appetite? It would have to solve dozens of mysteries every day just to feel half full. "I will think of a name suitable for the child," Neuro said. "You can pick out the ones you like and remove the ones you dislike. If I leave it up to you you'll end up naming it after your favorite brand of cat food."
"I'm not that gluttonous," Yako said. "And I'm still going to help think of names. In the end Neuro this baby will be mine. It's my maternal bond with it. If I'm not happy with the name…then I won't feel satisfied."
"I see," Neuro said. "You human women are unique. Unlike demons you feel a deep attachment to your spawn, even before they are born. In Hell we give ourselves names."
"I hope you at least try to learn more about how I feel before we have this baby," Yako suggested. "I want it to grow in a loving environment with people who care for each other."
"You are one greedy woman," Neuro smirked. "But I was never one to back down from a challenge. You'll have your happy family, even if I have to use my 777 Tools!"
"You don't have to treat it like a competition, I just want a normal family," Yako explained. "Or at least as normal as we can get."
"So now that your mother knows about the pregnancy, what is the next step?" Neuro asked. Yako placed her finger on her chin, thinking carefully what to do. "We'll have to prepare ourselves to live as a family. We need to organize and learn everything we need to learn. First the basics!"
"What are the basics, worm?"
"Besides not calling your wife a worm, we have to learn how to take care of a baby in the first place, how to cook, how to prepare its food, how to set up a safe environment," Yako said. "I'll sign us up for baby care class. We can learn how to use diapers and how to clean up our baby!" she excitedly said. Neuro looked at her in bafflement.
"What's a diaper?" he asked. Yako stared at him in silent horror.
"What kind of babyhood do you demons have?!" she fussed. "A diaper is like underwear for babies except you have to throw it away because they use it as the bathroom."
"Really?" Neuro said, believing it only half-heartedly.
"You know what Neuro…before you even get started, don't tell me what demons do as an alternative to diapers," Yako said.
"It's nothing unusual, we just have a different name for them in Hell," Neuro said.
"Really? You mean there is one aspect of your existence that doesn't defy all logic and rational thought?!" Yako excitedly asked. It's as if God was blessing her with this light out of the darkness.
"We have diapers in Hell, we just call them packies," Neuro said. "It's the baby's job to kill the leonus of course."
"Wait….what?"
"The leonis is what packies are made of, they are miniature dragons that a baby must kill and tear the flesh off of so they can turn its skin into a packie," Neuro explained.
"OH. MY. GOD," Yako said. "What is the point in all that?! Just buy a pampers! They're made from such simple material! You can even make reusable diapers out of cotton!"
"But in Hell, sheep tries to shave you," Neuro said. Yako couldn't help but think of some bad Russian comedian.
"Well, we're not in Hell. We use diapers for our newborns. Now rub my belly!"
"I have no problem with that," Neuro said.
"Then why did you run?!"
"Because I knew Sasazuka was around the corner."
"You actually go out of your way to bother me?"
"This actually feels soft," Neuro said as he gently moved his hand across Yako's soft stomach. "And warm."
"You like it? It probably feels different knowing something is growing inside of me."
"I was expecting it to be tighter from all the food you pack in there, like a squirrel ready for winter." Yako decided to ignore that comment; instead she chose to enjoy the expression of calm serenity on the demon's face as he gazed at her stomach.
"What are you thinking about Neuro?" she softly asked.
"I'm hoping this child doesn't smell like bacon and have crushes on weird anime characters like you," he smirked.
"Never a compliment for me huh?"
"To be honest, the pregnancy does add a certain glow to you," Neuro said. "Certainly helps with your looks." Yako didn't fuss this time, before the relationship went any further she decided she wanted to know now. It was one of the basics behind affection, at least she thought.
"So Neuro…do you think I'm attractive or not?" she asked. He looked down at her, wondering what she was trying to get at. She smiled. "It's just a simple yes or no question. I won't take anything else for an answer."
"I might come up with an answer if I see you naked," Neuro said.
"What?! You already had your fill of my naked body or does your pigeon of doom pecking out of my belly mean nothing?!" she asked, pointing at her stomach as if she expected a beak to pop out any second.
"If you must know," Neuro grinned. "You are my type in looks. At least for a human. You're flat chested and skinny."
"Somehow I don't feel like I've been complimented…"
