Chapter 6: Graveyard Ops

The zombies had been wandering through the tunnels for hours. Every time they came to a dead-end, Steve would get really angry. Buck couldn't blame him. They had tried using a map, but somehow the passageways kept changing. Like the zombies were trapped in some sick game. Eventually, Allstar shot the ceiling in frustration. The ceiling exploded and the caves started to collapse. The zombies ran.

"Allstar!" Buck yelled. "If you're going to use a grenade launcher, DON'T SHOOT THE CEILING!"

"Sorry."

The zombies kept running. This didn't look good. The cave would collapse behind them, and no matter where they went, the collapse would follow. Finally, the collapse stopped, and the zombies climbed the rubble to escape the caves. As they got to the surface, Buck was shocked to find them right in front of the jade cactus statue. And stranger still, there were no other signs of collapse anywhere else.

"That's weird. My scans show no signs of collapse anywhere else." commented Steve.

"That doesn't matter now. We need to get out of here before the jade cacti come back."

"Too late!" yelled Allstar.

Swarming their location was an army of jade cacti, all of them ready to fight to the death. Buck and Brian exchanged glances. This was not going to be easy. As if in response, the cacti charged. Waving his flag, Brian signed ATTACK! and the battle begun.

Buck engaged a group of cacti immediately and shot a few with his metal launcher. The cacti fell, unconscious but not vanquished. As Buck turned to fight the rest, his metal launcher was shot out of his hand by the lead cactus. The two glared at each other until Buck tackled her. Rolling on the ground, the cactus tried to shoot Buck, but Buck's bucket blocked the shot, for Buck had lodged it in the mouth. The cactus punched him in the gut, and threw him across the ground. Landing on his back, Buck got up quickly and pulled out a metal staff. The cactus sneered.

"You can't beat a sniper with a melee weapon! You're a fool."

"Or maybe you're the fool." Buck taunted as he threw the staff, which nailed the cactus in the head. Picking up his metal launcher, Buck continued to engage the cactus.

Brian was doing the best, hitting all the cacti around him with his flag, and rallying zombies all the while. As they fought and both side's numbers dwindled, Brian grabbed a retreating cactus and stabbed her with his flag. As she screamed in pain and died, Brian felt something he had never felt before. But before he could ponder it, some cacti tried to shoot him, making Brian get back into the battle.

The jade cacti were retreating, and the zombies had conquered the graveyard. Brain Squad met in the crowd of zombies, and Buck had to yell "QUIET!" to get everyone's attention.

"Do any of you know where the secret plan shoes are?"

The zombies shook their heads or acted confused. Steve conjured a map of Boney Island. He motioned for his squad mates to come closer.

"We're here." stated Steve, pointing at a grey square with a "cemetery" label on it. "The shoes are somewhere on this island, and we've checked the volcano." Conjuring a pen, Steve put an X on the volcano. He also put an X on the cemetery. "So now where do we search?"

Brian studied the map. He thought of Crazy Dave and what he was most likely to do. Then Brian got an idea. He pointed to the statue in the middle of the residential area. It said "The Lost Statue." Steve nodded at Brian.

"That's the most logical place."

But Brian wasn't done. He took Steve's pen and connected the statue, the volcano, and the cemetery with a triangle. He then put lines that connected to the center of the triangle. Steve was unimpressed.

"That's just a rock pile!"

Brian pointed to its name. "Secret Rock Pile."

It all fit. Buck and Allstar were amazed. Steve was indignant.

"This is just stupid. I doubt a guy known as Crazy Dave would make an intricate puzzle."

"Well," Buck countered. "He made a time machine, so this is entirely possible. If it's not there, then we'll search the statue. Otherwise..."

Steve nodded at that. He was eager to prove Brian wrong. The small army set out for the secret rock pile, everyone except Steve hoping that Brian wasn't wrong.

/Two and a half hours later…

Steve was doing an X-ray scan of the rock pile. Brian and Allstar were patiently waiting. Buck was not-so-patiently waiting.

"Would you hurry, please? We don't know when those jade cacti will be back."

"You can't rush genius." Steve called back, not caring about what Buck wanted. Steve was a little jealous of Buck and his rank. He was also jealous of Buck leading the squad, and proving that he was fit to lead by helping them out of the tunnels. This did not help Steve's already annoyed mood. And don't even get him started on Brian, either. At last, the X-ray scan picked up something.

"I got something!"

The other three rushed over immediately. As Steve went to work, all the other zombies were walking around, bored. When Steve yelled, all the zombies came to watch the squad. They were digging next to the secret rock pile, following Steve's instructions. Finally, they lifted a small cardboard box from the hole they had dug.

"Alright," Allstar said. "Let's open the box."

So Allstar tried. He tried to pry it open. He tried to destroy it. He shot it with grenades. In anger, Allstar kicked it at the watching zombies, who ducked as it soared over their heads. Landing in a patch of sun, Allstar saw that the box said something. Curious, he ran to the box and read what it said.

"The touch of royal sun will open the box. That's just great. Where are we going to get royal sun?"

"Uh, Allstar?" Buck asked. "Royal sun probably means royal sunflowers. So we need sunflower royalty."

Steve was scanning the box. "It has some dumb enchantment. Magic always gets on my nerves. We need a sun pharaoh, or something descended from one. And the shoes are inside, but the X-ray can't see inside the shoes somehow."

Buck rolled his eyes and exchanged a glance with Brian. "We probably can't see inside the shoes because it's supposed to be some huge mystery. And that's lame. So where can we find a sun pharaoh?"

"We don't need a sun pharaoh. We need a descendant of a sun pharaoh, preferably a sunflower."

Brian started making gestures. The other three squad members looked at him, and Buck nodded occasionally.

"Brian says that there may be some in the residential area. All we need to do is an X-ray scan of individual houses to figure out who is related to a sun pharaoh."

Steve sighed. "I thought I was done with those?"

Allstar patted his back. Buck turned to address the army. They're useless to this mission now… Buck thought.

"Alright, zombies, listen up! Your job here is done. I'm going to contact Dr. Zomboss and you all will join his army. Any questions?"

"Yes, Buck. How did a high-ranked soldier like you get shoved aside into some discount L.E.A.F. squad?"

All the zombies turned to see the jade cacti in an army. And to make matters worse, other assorted plants were behind them, ready to destroy the zombies. Buck found the jade cactus in charge, the one who spoke out.

"You plants just don't get it. We zombies never have to do anything because you always come right back over to us. And now, I'm insulted at your pitiful attempt at an entrance." Buck shot back.

Then everything burst open like a shaken can of soda. The zombies ran to the plants, who tried to retaliate with their projectiles. Steve and Allstar ran into the fray, working together with deadly efficiency as they vanquished plant after plant. Buck was shooting plants, but soon stopped as he saw he wasn't needed.

Brian found the jade cactus in charge very quickly. Catching her by surprise, Brian was able to score some hits before the cactus rolled away, and shot at him. This was ineffective because of Brian's headgear. Vaulting over the cactus using his flag, Brian punched her in the head. Falling, the cactus flipped, allowing her to shoot at Brian. One needle was able to hit his neck, but Brian ignored it as he beat the cactus. Punch after punch, the cactus bled on the floor as Brian stopped. Seeing their leader's death, all the plants ran, the zombies in pursuit. Brain Squad stayed behind, trying to find the box.

"No!" Buck screamed. "No no no!"

Steve did another X-ray scan. The box was gone. Angrily, Steve threw the scanner at a tree, and it promptly shattered. The squad sat on the floor, each member seething with fury.

/One hour later…

A fire peashooter was walking down the street. The plants had held off the zombies, and the peashooter knew they'd be back. Pulling out a cardboard box, he looked at it and smiled. He had snuck around as the battle went on, stealing what the zombies needed most. Now, he had the box. Walking into his house, he set the box on his couch. Unbeknownst to him, a zombie was watching him through the window. Steve deactivated his binocular settings for his goggles. He had found the box. Pulling out his communicator, he contacted Buck.

"Buck, this is Steve. I found the box."

"Good job. We'll be there shortly."

Steve snickered as he watched the citizens. They were completely oblivious to their incoming doom. Receiving a call on his communicator, Steve answered it.

"Yes?"

"This is Dr. Zomboss. Your reinforcements will be there soon. Be prepared to start the operation."

"Yes, sir." Steve replied, turning his communicator off. Graveyard operations were common. Steve had never done one before. But defending a tombstone shouldn't be that hard. Steve got up from his rooftop position just as the squad arrived.

"Steve, where's the box?"

Steve pointed to the house with the fire pea. Then, he started to leave. Buck stopped him.

"You shouldn't do this, Steve. Graveyard Ops are dangerous, especially in plant-infested areas."

"I don't care. We're taking this island."

Buck took a deep breath. Zombies don't need to breathe, but it helps with frustration. And Buck was frustrated. He needed Steve to be able to take the box. His skills were necessary. But Steve is also a pain sometimes. Particularly now. And it didn't help that Buck had already sent away the army they had.

"Fine. Go. Then come back."

Steve smiled as he went to the far shore. His excitement was lined with apprehension. This operation was the difference between success and failure. If he failed, this wasn't going to end well.

/Remote location in the arctic: Midnight

The snow pea looked out the window of her house. The northern lights stretched across the sky in wavy arcs. The snow pea smiled. Looking at a photo of her family, she wondered how they're doing. She hadn't seen them in seven years. But in retirement, money was tight. The snow pea went back to looking out the window. Thinking of her parents, she wondered what they would think. Pulling out a book, she began to read the thoughts of her father and his friends. She had read it many times before. But she felt closer to her family when she read it. Then, she dropped the book as someone knocked on the door.

Cautiously walking to the door, the snow pea got ready to defend herself. But when she opened the door, no one was there. The snow pea smiled. It was just her family checking on her. She felt their spirits drift away as she went back into the house. As she sat back down, she saw a letter from L.E.A.F. Academy on the countertop. Curious, she opened it, and was shocked. Peashooter had finally sent her a letter. She hadn't even noticed. Reading it, it said:

Dear grandma,

Sorry about not keeping in touch for a few years; I'm now almost a graduate at L.E.A.F. Academy. Threepeater and I have had some crazy adventures while you're gone, and both of us are fine. Repeater and Dad are doing fine as well; Repeater and I completed the Gatling Course recently and won our gatling helmets. I'm sorry that I didn't hear about Grandpa Felix earlier. I hope you are ok, and maybe we'll visit you sometime.

Love,

Peashooter

The snow pea was smiling sadly. Peashooter didn't know what he was getting into. His great-grandfather should've taught him that. Then again, he didn't even know who his great-grandfather was. His crazy adventures with Peas and Sunny always got them into trouble. But the snow pea smiled anyway. This was good news. She just wished she could share it. Looking back out the window, the snow pea watched the sky, not noticing a thin purple beam that had joined the northern lights.

/Boney Island, east shore: Thirty minutes later…

Steve sat on a piece of driftwood, bored as the tombstone stood on the beach, emitting a purple beam into the sky. All the tombstone had done so far was attract some plants, which were quickly disposed of. Steve never realized that graveyard ops were so boring. But soon enough, Steve wasn't bored anymore; dozens of plants rushed to the tombstone, and three of the largest squashes Steve had ever seen bounded forward to destroy the tomb. Quickly loading his blaster, Steve shot toxic goop at the plants. Using an attachment, Steve changed his blaster to shoot plasma, which is lethal to almost anything. But he was being swarmed.

Rolling to avoid a squash, Steve focused on the bulk of the plants first. Interestingly, there were no jade cacti. Steve shot a group of flowers as a bonk choy smacked him in the back of the head. Steve was surrounded, and the plants pinned him down, shooting at him from all sides. Pulling out a grenade, Steve threw it in the air and shot it. The resulting plasma explosion knocked all the plants near it back, severely injuring them. Gaining the upper hand, Steve began to tear through the opposition, vanquishing plants left and right.

As the last of the plants retreated, Steve turned to look at the tombstone, but it was shattered. The squashes who had destroyed it looked at Steve then went away. Steve stared at the remains of the tomb. A faint purple beam was still being emitted, but the tomb itself was just chunks of stone lying around. Steve gave up. It was over… until the first zombie hand broke through the soil, a small flower in its grasp.