REVISED CHAPTER

A/N: This chapter went on forever. Finally decided to stop it where it ends, cause I had to break it up in a good spot. Please tell me if I am messing up their accents cause I'm pretty sure I'm screwing someone up other than, maybe the Sniper who seems to not have an accent when I write him...

P.S. I will not be using other languages for the characters like the Spy and Medic. I will stick with the words they say in quotes, even if they're wrong, like the Medic's. Even though I know a little French, I don't trust my "skills" whatsoever.


Chapter 7: I Won't Be Home For the Holidays


The three of them certainly were a strange sight. The two men in the group were being interrogated by a girl. Though the Spy didn't show much interest on the outside, he was actually ecstatic to hear the Engineer's answers to the girls' questions. The more and more the Engineer answered, the more everything began to make sense.

"Ok first, and probably the most important question, how did you find out that you guys were part of a video game?" May asked.

"Well...this will be a long explanation, so get ready."


They had just horribly lost the day's battle, being completely destroyed by the BLU's. None of them were focused that day, due to the thoughts of the upcoming Christmas holiday break they had been promised. After 4 years, the Administrator was finally merciful and let them all have a week of for the holidays, in order to have a much needed relaxation period. The war they had been fighting had gone on for 4 straight years with no extended break. Sure they had weekends off, but it wasn't enough time to go home and visit family.

While not everyone had a home or family to go to, all 9 mercenaries agreed that it was time for a break...3 years ago.


The first year they had spent fighting together had been rough. They were still getting use to how this war worked and were only allowed their stock weapons. The weapons all balanced each other out, making sure that no man had a distinct advantage over the others. Unfortunately, this caused the men to become bored with the constant stalemates that ensured over the year of war. They wanted excitement, unbalanced excitement. The stalemates were boring and draining. They would fight their hardest, just to end up in a draw. The constant verbal out lashes from their boss drained their energy even more. They still fought normally, but they were in desperate need of a break.

Since they joined, none of the men were given any time to return home to family. The weekend cease fires were only enough time to recuperate for the upcoming week and visit the nearby town of Teufort. When the holiday season came around, they were disappointed not to hear anything about having a Christmas break. For all they knew, they would end up having to fight the BLU's on Christmas. The RED's knew the BLU's wouldn't mind this, seeing as how they were blood thirsty animals that only cared for fighting, but for them, they had loved ones that they desperately wished to see.

One day after a battle, a week before Christmas, the RED's gathered to discuss a way to convince the Administrator to allow them at least Christmas off.

"If Christmas vere on a veekend zhen zhat vould guarantee a cease fire but, it being on a Monday, zhere is no way she vould call a cease fire."

The Medic was right. There was no way the cold hearted Administrator would call a cease fire just because it was a holiday. They didn't have any holiday off up until then, unless it happened to come on the weekend.

"Fritz is right! That woman will force us to fight on Christmas. I love war, but fighting on Christmas is un-American!" The Soldier shouted in agreement.

"I think we still need to try. I need to go back home and visit my mum and dad. Me mum worries about me because of this job and I think it would relieve some of her stress if I were to go home for the holidays." the Sniper said, "Besides, my dad thinks I'm a crazed gunman! I need to talk with him in person to prove that I'm a professional."

"Nobody cares about your parental problems, Bushman. As for me, I could care less if we get zhe holiday off or not. I have no family to see, so zhis is not my problem...though I will agree zhat it would be nice to have a day other zhan weekends off." the Spy said with an uncaring expression on his face as he released a puff of smoke.

"Unlike you I actually have family to visit!" the Scout replied. "I got my ma and 7 brothers to return to! I haven't seen my ma in almost a year! I'd like to go home for Christmas. Man, I can already smell Ma's Christmas turkey."

he could already taste the turkey he craved, but his hopes were soon dashed when he remembered why they were having this conversation in the first place.

"Aw forget it! There's no way that old hag will change her mind." frustrated, the Scout fell to the floor as disappointment and hunger set in.

"I reckon your right son, there ain't no way Helen will change her mind, but we can give it a shot anyway. There's no harm in trying right?"

The Engineer already knew it was hopeless, but they could try anyway.

"Ay, the Lad is right! There's no harm in tryin! I'll go contact that old witch right now!" the Scotsman said. He rushed to the phone as fast as a one eyed Cyclops could.

A black Scottish cyclops was just as he describe himself as, and he was right. The man wore an eye patch, much like a pirate, over his left eye socket. At the age of seven, his eye had been possessed by the magical book known as the Bombinomicon, turning it into a creature named Monoculus.

The Demoman wore a red onesie which covered ended just pass the knees and up to his elbows, where from then on, a white undershirt could be seen, extending down to his hands. The black vest had six yellow, gray striped, grenades strapped to is that jiggled around when he moved. Short black boots were tall enough to cover the rest of his leg that wasn't covered by the onesie, showing his skin. The black eye patch and black beanie sat upon his head, giving him a mixed look of an evil villain and a chilled hippie.

His weapons of choice were of his own creations. The grenade launcher and sticky bomb launcher were created by himself, and used effectively against the enemy. While the grenade launcher was used more for offense, the sticky bomb launcher was used as defense, setting up traps and waiting for unexpected enemies to walk by it. Originally, his melee weapon had been the bottle of scrumpy he used to take into battle, but ever since obtaining the Eyelander, the Demoman had the sword strapped to his side at all times during a battle.

The rest of the men knew they would have had to face her with this problem at some point, so they didn't bother to stop the Demoman from calling her. As the Demoman reached for the phone, it rang. Surprised by this, the Demoman answered the phone with the rest of the men staring at him in confusion.

"Hello?" the Demoman asked.

"Hello, I assume you're wondering why I have called?"

"I was aboot to call and discu-"

"Yes, yes discuss about a Christmas cease fire, I know, I've been monitoring your little meeting. A messenger has been sent to discuss this predicament among the rest of you. He should be arriving right about now."

Knock, knock

The Demoman hung up as the Engineer got up to answer the door. The man, who had produced the knock, was one of Helen's messenger's. He wore a long trench coat and a hat that obscured his entire body and face. His midsection was bulging as if he were hiding something, which the mercenaries all knew what it was. The messenger stepped inside as the men gathered around him, he opened up his coat, revealing a miniature television strapped to his abdomen. The TV flickered on, revealing the Administrator sitting in her usual spot in front of the control panel.

"Now, as I was saying, I believe you men were requesting a Christmas vacation?"

"Well not necessarily ma'am. Though, that would be quite nice, we were just requesting to at least have a Christmas ceasefire." The Engineer said, with his helmet held in front of him to show her some respect.

"Why should I call a cease fire? Christmas is nothing special. It's just like any other day in the year."

"Because it is un-American!" The Soldier shouted.

The Administrator's face went from that of a calm emotionless woman, to anger that was directed towards the Soldier.

"Watch you tone with me Mr. Doe! Remember what I can do to you. Remember what I can do to your precious heads."

"Not my heads!" The Soldier screamed in fear. He couldn't bear to lose his heads again after that incident. It had taken him weeks to collect new ones, which were proudly displayed on the fence outside, just like his old ones.

"Madame, excuse my colleague for 'is rude outburst, but allow me to explain our situation. We 'ave been in battle for about a year, non?"

"Correct."

"We believe zhat it is time we 'ad an extended cease fire zhat would allow us to go home and visit our family and friends."

As the words 'family' and 'friends' were said, the Administrator twitch, as she believed there was no need for such things.

"Most of our time spent fighting 'as ended in stalemates. We 'ave gotten bored of zhese draws and weapons. We need a break zhat would allow us to come back refreshed and ready for war."

Upon hearing the Spy's mention of weapons, the Administrator came up with a solution.

"Very well, I will think about your argument, but for now, good day gentlemen."

The Television flickered off and the messenger headed out the door to return from wince he came.


Two days had passed with no word from the Administrator. The day's battles had gone just like every other battle had in recent weeks, ending with a stalemate. The mercenaries trudged back into the barracks, hoping to finally hear some news from the Administrator.

"Come on! It's been two freakin days! When is she going t-"

The Scout was cut off by the sight of 9 huge crates sitting in the rec room. Each crate had a specific class symbol marked on it, symbolizing which crate went to whom. On the Spy's crate there was a note tapped to the side that no one, but himself, seemed to notice. He quickly ripped it off and began reading it.

'I have thought about your argument, albeit briefly, and have decided against it. The fight will go on as scheduled, but I have taken one thing you stated into consideration. The contents of the crates contain class specific weapons that you are to use in upcoming battles. Stalemates will no longer be an issue with these new weapons. Instructions of the weapons are enclosed in each crate.

Never contact me again about a vacation ever again, or you will face the consequences. If I decide to allow you time off then I will contact the nine of you about it.'

He knew there was no way Helen would allow them a vacation, she was to cold hearted. The rest of the men had already begun to inspect the crates contents, unaware that this was a substitute to time off.

The Spy opened the crates and was faced with three new weapons. He read the order form that was thrown carelessly in the crate. The new cloaking watch was the Dead Ringer, the revolver was the Ambassador, and the knife was named Your Eternal Reward. As he removed the Ambassador he inspected the carving that was one the side. It was that of a beautiful woman, that looked all too familiar.

"Ah, fine craftsmanship" he said.

The Spy then picked up the knife, unsure of what the difference was between it and his butterfly knife, other than the more elaborate shape and carvings. He read the instructions that were place below it, impressed with its ability to take the form of who he backstabbed, but unimpressed with the fact that he was prohibited from using his disguise kit.

"Hm, silent killing will come be useful." he said, storing the knife away in his jacket.

The new cloaking device looked entirely different from the Invisi Watch. Unsure of its use, he read the instructions that came with it.

"A watch that feigns death, huh. I believe zhis will quickly become my favorite."

He flipped open the watch, only to see a clock face that didn't tell time, but rather how much cloaking energy it currently had.

"Of course it does not tell time. None of zhese watches ev-"

"Haha Sweet!" The Scout cut him off with a shout of glee, in awe of his new scatter gun.

"I wonder what it does." the Scout said as he held his new weapon in his arms, he pointed it in the direction of the Spy.

"Boy, you better not shoot me!" The Spy yelled.

"Oh don't worry Spy, I ain't gonna sho-" \

he Scout was cut off by the blast of the gun he had just accidentally shot. Immediately the Scout realized why it was called the Force-a-Nature, as he was pushed back against the wall by the gun's powerful knock back. When The Scout realized what had just happened, he walked over to where the Spy had been standing, only to see a lifeless corpse laying on the ground.

"Ah, crap"

He had just shot the Spy, meaning he was in for a world of hurt.

Behind him he heard a loud noise that sounded like a corrupted decloaking sound. The next thing he knew, he had the Spy's brand new knife around his neck. Tensing up, the Spy thought he was about to have his throat slit.

"How the hell did you do that?!" the Scout screamed.

He was presented with the newly acquired Dead Ringer in front of his face with the Spy saying, "Don't you dare do zhat again or I will gut you like a Cornish game hen!"

The Spy let go of the Scout and put his new weapons away. The rest of the men were staring at the Scout and Spy, not believing what they had just witnessed.

"I gotta say Spook, that there is one useful watch." the Engineer said as he was carrying his new sentry controlling Wrangler.

"Oui."

Looking around the room, he saw his colleagues smiling at their new weapons, ignorant of the news the note had brought.

The Medic was grinning at his new medi gun, the Kritzkrieg and his new bone saw, the Amputator.

"Zhis vill come in handy vith operations…and in battle" he said, analyzing his new gear.

The Demoman was marveling at his new sticky bomb launcher that had the ability to lay out 16 stickies on the battlefield at one time.

"Ay who gives a crepe aboot a 1 second delay?! The more explosives the more KABOOM!" he said as he threw his arms in the air, simulating an explosion.

The Sniper had pulled out a bow and arrow, not acting quite as excited as everyone else had.

"Crikey! Why do I get a down grade?! Why don't I get a sniper rifle?!" he cried out, frustrated at his new weapon.

The Sniper read the Huntsman's instructions that stated it was to be used for medium ranged combat, allowing him to somewhat get into the front lines.

"I guess it isn't too bad." He said as he pulled back the string. "Moight be useful in certain situations. It's got a nice pull to it."

The Pyro, for once, showed some emotion when he pulled out his new flamethrower, the Backburner. It was ecstatic at the fact that that if it managed to get behind an enemy, it would do major damage. It laughed gleefully and clapped his hands at the sight of its new toy.

The only one who wasn't excited was the Soldier, who had been giving the Beggars Bazooka.

"What in America's sweet name is this crap?! This is garbage! It only holds three rockets before it starts to explode in my face?! I want a new weapon!"

Seeing as how his colleagues had finished marveling at their new weapons, he figured he might as well tell them about the note now and break up their excitement.

"Gentlemen. You do realize why we have been given these weapons, non?"

Everyone shook their heads in disagreement. Sighing from their ignorance, the Spy handed the Engineer the note, which caused the rest of them to crowd around him.

"What in tarnation! This is just a replacement for a break?!"

"Oui, unfortunately. It seems as though we might never be awarded with a proper vacation."


"After that winter, we never asked the Administrator for any kind of vacation ever again, fearing that she would do the worst. Every Christmas after that, we would be given new weapons as a sort of compensation for no vacation time. Honestly I think it's illegal to not allow off days like that."

"Yes, Yes I already know zhat Dell, What does zhis have to do with how you came across zhis...disturbing information."

"I told you not to call me Dell!" He screamed back at the Spy.

"Why not?" May chimed in.

"Well we aren't allowed to call each other by our real names. We are told to call each other by our assigned class because the Administrator doesn't permit friendship between us, but a few of us have managed to get around it."

"Oh trust me I know. I have read the comics." May said.

"Zhere are comics to?!" The Spy said in astonishment.

"Uh yeah. There's also merchandise which I actually have a ton of like posters, action figures, plushies and those statues that cost around 200 dollars..."

"Well, zhis is surprising."

"Well not really. I mean you guys are part of a popular game, so merchandise is common."

"She does have a point." The Engineer said.

"Anyways, um, is it OK if I know everyone's names before we continue with the story?" she asked.

"I don't see any harm in it, so might as well."

"Actually do you mind if I take a crack at it?" May asked enthusiastically. She was about to find out everyone's names and see if they were the same as in the game, even if they were rumors.

"Sure go ahead." The Engineer said. The Spy on the other hand rolled his eyes, seeing as how he thought this was unnecessary, as he wanted to get on with the Engineer's explanation.

"Ok, I already know your name," she pointed at the Engineer," yours I assume you won't tell me or anyone." she pointed at the Spy.

"Oui, you are correct." he replied.

"Ok the Demoman is Tavish Degroot, the Soldier is Jane Doe, and the Sniper is Lawrence Mundy. From then on I don't know last names. How am I doing?"

"Perfect so far."

"Sweet OK, the Scout is Nathan, the Heavy is Ivan, the Medic is Joseph, and the Pyro I have absolutely no idea."

"Yup, absolutely correct, May." The Engineer said.

"Haha sweet! Half of those were actually rumored names. See the only names that Valve have released are yours," she pointed again at the Engineer," the Demoman's, the Soldier's, the Sniper's last name, and the Heavy's, but that was considered non-can- I'm rambling sorry." She said as she smiled and apologetic smile.

"Non, you are fine, but I would like zhe Engineer to continue as to 'ow he had found zhis out, but if I may ask, what is zhis Valve you speak of?"

"It's the game company that created Team Fortress 2. They have created a few other games such as Portal, Half-Life, and Left4Dead. I'll explain those to you later if you guys are interested. They might have a connection with this world."

"Oui, thank you for zhat information, but for now I would like zhe Engineer to continue on."

"Oh, right. Sorry about that." May said.

"No worries May, I'll just continue on with the story."

"Ok." She said as she smiled.

"This all happened last year around Christmas time, once again."


They didn't care that they had lost today's battle. All that mattered was that it was their last one for a week. The Administrator had finally been kind enough to give them a week of well-deserved Christmas vacation. Everyone was looking forward to finally getting to go home and be with their family for the holidays, but their hopes were shattered when they saw one of the Administrator's messengers standing in the middle of the rec room, waiting for them. They knew that the only time the Administrator sent a messenger without warning, it was because they were in a whole lot of trouble. The messenger opened his trench coat to reveal a television screen with a scowling Administrator.

"Gentlemen that was an utterly despicable display!" she hissed.

"With all due respect ma'am, we have been fighting for 5 years straight. I think it would be acceptable that our performance would be falling a little bit." The Engineer said.

"That was not a little! It took the BLU's less than 3 minutes to capture our intelligence 3 times! They accomplished a flawless victory! All you did was die, constantly! None of you even managed to kill a single BLU!" The Administrator was livid at the failure the RED's had accomplished today.

"We're sorry ma'am, but once we return from our Christmas vacation we will be well rested and ready to fight for another year." the Engineer stated.

"Ah yes about your vacation. Because of your complete failure to battle correctly today, I have decided to cancel you planned vacation. Tomor-" she was interrupted by the angry out cries of the mercenaries, "Gentlemen! Do not tempt me any further. I believe this is an adequate punishment for such a pathetic failure and I believe you men would not like any other repercussions correct?" the mercenaries stood there in silence, taking the verbal abuse being given by their boss. "I think we have reached an understanding. Good day gentlemen."

The television turned to static, the messenger closed his coat and walked out of the room. Immediately the mercenaries began to voice their opinions on the Administrator's selected form of punishment.

"Nu uh, there's no way she just did that! She can't! I had plans to go see my ma back home! I haven't seen anyone but you chuckleheads in 5 years and I'm sick of it!" The Scout said, with anger in his voice.

"I promised my mum I would finally come and visit her and dad back in Australia. I was hoping to finally convince my dad that I'm not a crazed gunman!"

7 of the men were angrily rambling about what the Administrator had decided to do as a punishment. The Pyro and the Engineer were the only ones not shouting and voicing their opinions. While the Pyro was nowhere to be found, the Engineer just stood there with his head hanging low out of disappointment. The expression on his face was that of sadness. He had been looking forward to this for so long. Irene, he was finally going to be able to hold his sweet Irene close again after 5 years. Sure he had been able to contact her through letters and the occasional phone call, but it was nowhere close to being with her. She had missed him as much as he missed her.

Depressed, the Engineer walked out of the rec room with his head still hanging low. He headed for his workshop, not wanting to be around his team mates. The workshop was dark and depressing, not helping the Engineer's mood in the slightest. He went over to his desk which sat in the corner and laid his head down, suppressing his tears. His hand headed for a drawer, slowly pulling it open to reveal a slightly worn picture of two people, causing him to smile slightly.

The two people were standing in front of a fence that seemed to be the barrier of a ranch as there were animals shown in the background. The woman on the left was slightly stocky with pale skin and short blonde hair that was in the style of a bob. Her eyes were as blue as the sky, which to the Engineer was one of her best qualities. He could stare at them for hours at a time, with nothing that could distract him.

The man on the right was holding an arm around the woman, looking quite happy. He was bright eyed and young, ready to face the world. Oh how he had aged in the few years for working with the RED's. The young man in the photo no longer existed. Instead this tired old 38 year old man took his place.

Though he wasn't showing it, the Engineer was filled with anger and rage. He was denied his chance to see his beloved wife after 5 years because of some cranky, old hag who cared for no one. The man couldn't stand it anymore, he had to be with his wife...but how?

There was no way he could visit her during the weekend cease fires, as there was not enough time, and they were only allowed to visit the nearby town, but that was the only opportunity he would ever have. There must be some way he could travel to Bee Cave and back fast enough, without leaving the premise. The only way that ever would have been possible would be by teleportation. That's it! He would build a teleporter that was strong enough that would be able to teleport him home but...he couldn't go home to place the exit. Maybe he would be able to generate enough energy, so he could teleport himself there without a receiver. It would be risky but this crazy man in love was willing to try.

Two weeks later he finally got his machine up and running. Surprisingly, it didn't take anywhere near as long he originally thought it to be. He planned for the project to last 3 months, which considering how early he had finished it, worried him. There were bound to be bugs in the hardware and programming, but the man was desperate. He had missed Christmas, but showing up on her doorstep would be the best gift she could ever ask for. Booting up the machine and setting the coordinates, he envisioned the smile that would spread across her face as she saw him.

The machine was ready to go, and he would soon be reunited with his sweet Irene. The Engineer stepped inside with his materials that he would use to build a connecting teleporter on the other side. The doors shut and he stood there, waiting for the teleportation.

"I'm coming Irene." he quietly said.

Instantly he vanished, teleported to his home town of Bee Cave, Texas, but not the Bee Cave he knew.


Fun Fact:

The title of this chapter is kind of a reference to ChaosandMayhem's story "I'll Be Home For the Holiday's" which is a great story that you should go check out. Only downside is that it's still in progress.