Glass chapter seven
After a wonderful night's stay in the Golden Treadmill came the hard bit. Although Prince Jamie had paid for the five amigos to get from Lush Woods to Nasty and Tangled Woods, it was as far as the cab could take them.
"Sorry guys, it's as far as I can go" the driver told them as they added a tip from their own money.
"We totally get that" said Dylan, "We'll be fine, we have good boots and cloaks."
"You'll need 'em, mate, there's going to be a hell of a downpour. Gales too. Now, some advice. I don't know if you've been told, but don't go to that big mansion that you can see through the woods. Carry straight on walking to the Airport."
"We'll avoid the mansion" Lily replied.
They began to walk. Dervla seemed to be extra fussy around Dylan. He wondered if this meant she wanted to come off her lead and run free for a bit. Then, for no reason at all, she got on her hind legs, licked his face and ran off, right into the distance. They shouted after her but to no avail.
"I wonder if that's because she has to walk now, like Rita mentioned" was Jess's theory.
"Of course. Oh well in that case we'll meet her again at the Royal Palace, won't we?" Dylan looked relieved.
"Talking of Rita, that demon only cursed Prince Jamie two days ago. That little minx knew it was going to happen when she sent us along to break it."
"I suppose that is flattering in its way" was Lily's comment.
Cal and Ethan had silently watched Dervla on her way, once they satisfied themselves that she had run past the mansion, they came floating back, intending to go over to their friends and travel with them.
As they rounded the next corner, they saw a tired old man with a jar in his hand.
"Fancy making a bet, boys?"
"Ah, poor old thing, he's broke. Let's help him, Ethan."
"He can see us?"
"I can. You're two spooks aren't you? My daughter taught me how to look out for spooks. Always liked her scary stories, she did."
"Well we're good spooks now so we won't hurt you. What's the bet?"
"I bet you a hundred Lush Woods crowns that you can get yourselves into my jar."
"I don't think you'll make any money there, old-timer. It's a small jar and we're full-grown spooks."
"Just try it."
Cal and Ethan should have known better but their wish to help the skint old man got the better of them. They flew towards the jar and found themselves being pulled into it, becoming smaller and smaller. Oh well, it would get the old guy some funds, what the hell?
"Got you!" cried Nicholas Jordan, becoming his true self and jamming on the lid.
"That's two less protectors for that sad little lot back there."
He flung the Handsome Phantoms into a bush and disappeared.
"Cal! We'll suffocate in here! CAAAALLLLL!"
"We're already dead, Ethan. We can't suffocate. But we need to get out of this stupid bush first before we can do anything."
Fortunately, a friendly little creature called Bob the Owl was having his nightly fly before his mum called him in for his tea. He heard the shouting from the jar and did what he could. He tipped it out of the bush with his wing and then flew on his way, having heard his mum's voice.
"Move with me, Ethan. We're going to roll all the way to the airport."
"I'll throw up-"
"Dead people can't throw up. Stop whining and start rolling."
Meanwhile, the heavens opened and the wind increased to gale force. The travellers huddled together for warmth and balance.
Over at the other end of the woods, Cal and Ethan were rolled along nicely in their jar, helped by the strong winds. Ethan had stopped feeling nauseous and now just wanted to float in fresh air again.
"I'm frozen" Robyn said, her teeth chattering.
"This is nothing compared to when we're in Beau Champia."
"But we'll have a sleigh and reindeer then. Here we're just walking and that wind's knocking me over." Robyn, known for making self-depreciating comments about her chubbiness, added:
"And if it can knock me over, you lot have had it."
They saw the lights through the trees. The big castle looked inviting.
"Maybe we might not even need to meet Mad Jeff Collier. We could just knock and ask if we could shelter in the basement or something like that."
"For how long? I'm desparate to get to Ben."
"Ben's doing fine as he is, wearing silk Y fronts and kicking off at everybody, no doubt" snapped Lily.
Then a really forceful gust of wind knocked Alicia into a tree. She burst into tears.
"Come on Dylan, have a heart. Please let's go and get some kind of help."
"What about trying to contact those Phantoms? I bet they could get us through this."
They shouted "Cal! Ethan!" till their throats were sore, but to no avail.
"Okay" said Dylan reluctantly, "I can see we're in trouble. We'll go and ask to shelter in the basement of that castle."
Clinging to each other, they stumbled along, finally reaching the castle door.
There was a huge old fashioned rope pull for a bell. The notice next to it said:
"Pull for attention. Walk past if you're the quiet type."
"Well whoever put that sign there has a sense of humour" Lily agreed.
Jess took a deep breath, and maybe because she hadn't done anything exciting yet, pulled on the rope.
The theme to the Muppet Show tinkled out.
Soon a cheerful looking young woman in a French maid's outfit came to the door.
"Hello, can I help you?"
"We're desperate for shelter. We've been trying to walk through the forest and we can't go any further. Can we sleep in your basement?"
"The basement? Lord Collier wouldn't hear of it!"
Five hearts sank.
"He'll want to put you up in the best rooms! He loves company. Please follow me."
They followed her, past portraits of Lord Collier, who didn't look at all scary. He looked like a favourite uncle.
"This is Lord Collier's study. Just one moment please."
She tapped at the door.
"Knock knock, who's there?" said a very friendly voice.
"Five travellers stranded in this terrible gale, Lord Collier."
"Samantha! What have I told you about calling me Lord Collier? I' m Jeff! Go and earmark some really nice rooms for them and then bring them down to my banqueting hall. Oh it'll be so lovely to have friends to dinner again. Now you know you can arrange it – what are housekeepers for?"
"You're his housekeeper?" Lily looked at Samantha's outfit.
"He likes me to wear this."
A small voice in Dylan's head said they should have stuck to what Rita told them.
Meanwhile the Phantoms were rolling along.
"Hey, look, there goes Dervla!"
"DERVLA! Over here! Dervlaaaaaa!"
But Dervla ran on.
"They went into Collier Castle!" gloated Nicholas, and threw Louis a sticky bun, "No beating tonight, laddo."
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