Wooo I've had family visiting the last week so my free time has been pretty much nil and I haven't been getting much sleep. I was supposed to be catching up on it tonight but I wrote this instead. Hopefully after this Sunday we'll be returning to our normal scheduled programing!
Have a Haruism:
"Frankly, Rin, I don't give a damn" - What Haru should have said to Rin in episode 4, Gone with the Wind
The next morning there were voices. Voices from down the hallway in the living room that woke Gou up. She groaned. It's too early. Pulling the blanket over her head in an effort to drown out the noise proved ineffective. She even tried using the pillow to no avail. There was no blocking out the noise unless she closed the door.
The door. She had left it open last night. Actually now that she thought about it the only time she had closed it was when she was changing. It was a bit insane she had never thought to close the door considering there was a boy sleeping in the very next room from her. That's because I'm clearly losing my mind.
Gou tore the pillow off her head. The voices down the hall were energetic and awfully immersed in whatever they were talking about. It had to be Mikoshiba's meeting, the one he had mentioned to her briefly last night. Gou rubbed an eye. Did they have to have it so early?She looked at the clock. Okay, it wasn't that early but still, she wanted to sleep. She liked sleeping in this bed.
Her eyes widened a bit at that thought. It was the bed, just the bed! It was nice and big and comfortable. It had nothing to do with the fact that it was Mikoshiba's bed.
Although she didn't mind the fact that Mikoshiba had failed to change the sheets from when he had slept in the bed the night before last, that night when she had been too tired to head back here and had stayed at the Iwatobi lodges instead. His scent lingered on the linen. She had recognized it when she had first lain down last night. That smell of sun and wind she recognized.
Gou scrambled out of the bed as if it had suddenly turned into lava. She stared at it like it were a venus fly trap she had nearly fallen into. Maybe I really am losing my mind.
Taking a deep breath, Gou directed her attention to the voices filtering down the hallway. There were definitely two. And for some reason they both sounded familiar. Mikoshiba's voice she recognized easily. It was hard to mistake a voice like his own. But the other she couldn't quite put her finger on. Mikoshiba hadn't specified last night who it was coming over.
For a moment she wondered if she should stay in the bedroom. If she went out into the living room – walking out from none other than the bedroom no less – the other person would surely be astounded at seeing a girl waltzing around and would want to know what she was doing there. But Mikoshiba had said last night that it was fine for her to be here while he was having his meeting. Did that mean it was okay for her to go out there and strut around her presence? Maybe he had simply meant he wasn't going to kick her out when he had people come over because that would be impolite but that she should stay hidden if she could help it? Then again that sounded like something he would have told her to do if it was needed. Or did he not care if his swim team members found out? Outside of Rin he had never explicitly indicated he was trying to not tell anyone else. Had he told anyone else? She didn't think so but she had never questioned him about it.
Gou shook her head. She was thinking about this way too much.
From down the hall she heard Mikoshiba and the other person speaking. Two of the words gave her pause. Butterfly stroke. Her eyes narrowed. There's only one person I know of who would be discussing that.
She made her way into the living room. She stepped into the entryway and instantly froze. "You have got to be kidding me…"
Mikoshiba was sitting on the couch. The pillows had been pushed aside into the corner and the sheets underneath a wrinkled mess. And next to him was none other than Rei.
The meeting. Gou couldn't believe it. This was the person Mikoshiba was meeting with? Well it explainsed why Mikoshiba wasn't concerned about Gou being here during it.
"Good morning, Gou-san," said Rei.
Gou was having a hard time forming a response. The coffee table was currently covered in papers, charts and stacks of books. Charts that depicted a human diving and swimming. Arrows pointed to various parts of the drawn human with little descriptions that Gou was unable to read. On top of the stacks of books sat the title 'Human Kinetics: Swimming Successfully'.
Rei's stuff. This is definitely Rei's stuff.
"Umm…What exactly…what exactly are you two doing?"
"Well, that's an interesting story." Rei leaned back and pushed his glasses further onto his noses, as if preparing for a speech. "When I came here to arrange the meeting between Captain Mikoshiba and yourself, the two of us got to talking." He clasped his hands. "I am still a new swimmer. Memorizing formulas is one thing but nothing can quite compare to the extended experience of a full fledged athlete or the teachings of one who has taught."
Gou stared at him for a long moment but nothing further was forthcoming. "So…?"
"So I asked for Captain Mikoshiba's assistance regarding my technique," said Rei. "He agreed to oblige my request."
"O-oh." She frowned. She hadn't heard about any of this before. Surely one of the other boys would have mentioned it if they knew. Which meant…"The others don't know you're here do they?"
Rei shook his head. "Knowing them they would only insist on coming themselves. I wish to use this time to focus on myself and indulge my own knowledge. With them here I feel that may be hampered."
"How were you possibly able to deter Nagisa from coming?" Gou knew to ask the important questions.
"I told him I was going to the library."
That would deter Nagisa. He would likely find the library too boring to want to tag along.
Gou picked up one of the drawings littered across the table. It depicted a swimmer performing the butterfly stroke, with little notes that described how best to hold ones arms and legs. Rei sure was being serious about improving, wasn't he? He had even gone so far as to ask Mikoshiba, the captain of another swim team, to help him. Fraternizing with the enemy indeed. He was doing it before I even was!
That also explained why Mikoshiba had been using Rei's first name these last few days. The two likely felt quite a bit closer after Rei had asked the older male for assistance.
"There's some coffee in the kitchen if you want some," Mikoshiba offered.
Gou grimaced. She hated coffee.
"Shell we continue?" asked Rei and Mikoshiba nodded. The two leaned over a book together like old classmates. It was…kind of cute. Gou perched on the arm of the couch to listen to them, a bit curious as to what they were discussing.
"I am finding that during the release of the arm stroke is when I lose the most speed and time," said Rei. "The upsweep phase seems to also be a struggle."
"The release is easy," Mikoshiba insisted. "You're likely creating too much drag. What order are you leaving the water for that stroke phase?"
"Shoulders, elbows, forearms, hands."
"How are you positioning your hands?"
Rei demonstrated and Mikoshiba moved his hand around Rei's in a circular fashion. "Lead with the pinkie first and your palms facing inward. That creates the least amount of drag. And the upsweep. Are you fully extending your arms?"
"I do not believe so but perhaps."
"Then you're pushing water upwards instead of backwards. You'll want to stop the upsweep stroke before your arms are fully extended. How's your dolphin kick?"
"I am still perfecting it but I believe I have the technique down. So long as I have the body undulation mastered the dolphin kick and arm stroke should fall in naturally I read."
"Maybe you're focusing too much on making sure your body undulation is perfect and that's causing you to falter in the arm stroke."
Gou's eyes were crossed. Like last night when Mikoshiba had been talking to Goro she had no idea what was being said. It's like another language. One that was incredibly boring. She found her eyelids drooping as the two continued their discussion. Once Mikoshiba started talking about something called finger paddles Gou decided it was time for her to find something to do with herself than listen to them talk about their swimming infatuations.
First stop was getting dressed, something she had once again forgotten to do before emerging from the bedroom. She took a quick shower and with that finished she set her mind on fulfilling the task she had failed to do since moving to Mikoshiba's house.
Unpacking.
Outside of the one piece of luggage she had done the other day, everything still sat in the living room in the pile where Mikoshiba had deposited them. She had been either too busy or not motivated enough to finish. Now was the perfect time. Mikoshiba was preoccupied with Rei and she had nothing else to do. Plus it needed to be done. Surviving off the clothes from one bag alone would not do at all.
It was only until she got closer that she realized what a daunting task that was going to be. Some of the bags were almost as big as Gou herself. Maybe she had packed too much.
But she had needed this stuff! Just in case. You never knew when you were going to need those pair of high heels or that skirt or that hat that matched with that specific skirt or tights to go underneath her dresses or shoes or sandals depending on the situation or a sweater in case they went somewhere cold like a movie theater or a light jacket if the sweater wasn't enough and socks for her sneakers. You had to be prepared for whatever sort of situation arose. Oh jeez I'm turning into Ama-chan. By the time I'm her age I'll be packing worse than she is. She would need an intervention if it ever came to that.
She tugged on one that looked somewhat light. It was a little smaller than the other ones at least. Not that that made any less heavy. It had taken an enormous of effort for her to drag the first one into the bedroom and these appeared to be following in their brethren's footsteps…or wheel track's as the case stood. She grunted and heaved on the thing to drag it across the floor. Every tug only brought it a few inches. It was nothing short of amazing how Makoto had managed to carry all of the bags without any sort of struggle whatsoever and a firm testament to just how strong he was. This is going to take a while.
Mikoshiba stood up from the couch. He walked over to Gou and, without breaking off his conversation, he seized the luggage in one hand. "Blah blah blah swimming blah – Where do you want this? – blah blah butterfly stroke, dolphin kick blah." He stooped down and with his other hand snagged onto another piece of Gou's luggage. Still continuing his conversation – Rei had actually gotten up to follow after him as he carried the luggage – Mikoshiba easily carried the bags into the bedroom as though they were filled with paper rather than stuffed nearly to the point of bursting with clothes and shoes.
W-well he's…certainly as strong as Makoto. Mikoshiba also had a really bad habit of wearing shirts that lacked sleeves. She had seen him in them many times before and today was not an exception. Normally this wasn't an issue but when he was doing…physical labor - so to speak – the lack of sleeves gave a..a prime view of certain things. Gou bit her nail. Such incredible biceps.
"Gou."
"Hmmm?" Was someone speaking to her? She was far too distracted.
"Gou," came the voice a little more forcefully and Gou blinked.
"Huh?"
"Do you want the rest in here?" Mikoshiba gestured to the bedroom floor.
She stared. "The rest?"
Mikoshiba stared back. "…Of your luggage?"
"O-oh!" Gou straightened. "Y-yes, that would be lovely. Thank you."
Jeez, what the heck is wrong with me!
He walked out of the room with Rei, the two of them still discussing whatever it was they had been. Faintly she was glad he hadn't noticed her disorientation too much, at least not enough to ask questions. His conversation with Rei was stealing enough of his attention to keep her in the clear.
As he continued bringing in the rest of her luggage she did her best to keep her gaze firmly glued on her unpacking. If she did look his way her eyes might be drawn to certain muscles that she would be unable to look away from and oh god if he caught her staring. Her face was turning red just thinking about it. The situation was bad enough without him catching her ogling him.
Gou's head banged lightly into the dresser as she leaned her head against it. So inappropriate!
After Mikoshiba was done bringing in the rest of the luggage, he thankfully disappeared back into the living room with Rei rather than hang around the bedroom. Gou was glad. It allowed her to focus her attention on unpacking without certain distractions rippling about. Not that that made her unpacking take any less time.
So many clothes. Why are there so many clothes?
By the time she finished and came back into the living room, Rei had already left. "Where did Rei go?"
"He left to get ready." Mikoshiba looked to the clock. "You have to go soon, don't you?"
She did. They had the temple today. The same temple Samezuka had done a few days ago. "You have the pool don't you?"
"Right. It's our swimming day."
One of the few days they had where they would be doing separate activities, and the only reason for that was likely due to the fact Samezuka had already done the temple before the hosts had changed Iwatobi's schedule. For some reason Gou didn't find herself as excited about having separate activities as she had the first night she had spent at Mikoshiba's place when Samezuka had been the ones going to the temple.
"Did you eat?" Mikoshiba asked her as Gou grabbed her bag and started towards the door.
"No. I'll eat at Iwatobi's place. I'm sure they'll have something for me."
He gave her a dubious look. "How do you know they'll have food for you? What if they don't?"
"Then I'll go hungry. It's fine."
"You should have some toast at least."
"It's fine, I'm fine. I don't need anything."
He grabbed at the loaf sitting on the counter. "Have some toast."
She scowled mildly. She didn't like toast. "I don't want any toast."
"It's not about wanting, it's about needing. Breakfast is the most important meal of the day. You can't skip it. What kind of example would you be setting for the swimmers you manage in that case?"
He sounded uncannily like her when she had been was yelling at Goro for eating pizza. "I don't want any."
"Have some toast."
"I don't like toast!"
Mikoshiba's eyelids lowered to half mast. Gou was a bit taken aback. Is he…He's glaring at me!
"Have some toast." His voice had dropped a few octaves. His captain's voice. He was using his captain's voice on her.
Gou found herself a bit cowed, like a child being scolded for bad grades. It was no wonder he was the captain of such a successful swim team. With that tone anyone would find it hard to argue with him. Even someone as hot headed as Gou's brother. "O-okay. I'll have some toast."
It may have been just toast but it still made her late. She texted the Iwatobi boys to meet her at the temple instead of at the lodges as she dashed out of Mikoshiba's house. The temple wasn't that far. She could walk and meet them there.
She pulled the hood of her jacket upwards to hide some of her features as she went. The jacket made her incredibly hot and uncomfortable, but she preferred that over her brother catching sight of her running pell-mell from Mikoshiba's place. He might think Mikoshiba kidnapped me and I'm escaping or something. Which…might actually be preferable than Rin finding out about the actual situation. At least for her anyway. Not so good for Mikoshiba.
The boys were waiting for her in front area of the temple when she arrived. "Gou-chan!" Nagisa's voice was rudely loud for being inside a place of holiness. "You have crumbs all over you!"
She looked down at herself. She must have tried eating too fast. She swept at the crumbs scattered across her shirt front. "Sorry I'm late. I got a bit held up."
Rei peered at the crumbs like they were ancient hieroglyphics he was trying to decipher. "Is that…Were you eating toast? I thought you didn't like toast."
"I don't. Mikoshiba made me eat it."
"Mikoshiba…made you?" Makoto looked like he couldn't quite believe his ears and Nagisa had a strange mischievous smile on his face. Rei was giving her a look that said 'what exactly were you two doing after I left'.
Her face heated. "It-it's not like that! He just wanted me to eat something before I left, that's all." "Hmmm." Nagisa tapped a finger against the corner of his mouth. That idiotic smile was still on his face. "Captain Mikoshiba sure is a nice guy. Making sure Gou-chan eats and takes care of herself."
"It was just toast!"
"Just toast?" Rei seemed to be pondering this. "Perhaps toast is just the outset."
Gou glared at him. What was he trying to get at exactly? The outset to what? Is he thinking something perverted?
"Tomorrow I'll make you some toast, Rei-chan!" Nagisa declared out of the blue.
Rei spluttered. Now his face was reddening too. "T-that wasn't what I was implying at all!"
Gou's glare narrowed further. He was thinking something perverted!
Thankfully the host approached them to guide them around the temple so any further questions about Mikoshiba were deterred for the time being. The temple was lovely, with large stone pillars that rose on either side of long corridors that extended in either direction for quite a distance. There were round rooms adorned with the statues of old warriors and a shrine to the old gods the natives used to worship. They were shown the stance of praying people used to use in the old days and the correct order to light candles in reverence of the old gods. The temple was nice. Except for the history that surrounded it.
Gou had not forgotten what Mikoshiba had told her about the temple, and the guide was more than obligingly to provide the same information as he had. "A hundred people were beheaded on these steps as sacrifices to the old gods." She chuckled as if realizing something. "Of course these one hundred people were over a period of time! Not all of them were beheaded in one night. That would just be overzealous!"
"How unpleasant," muttered Rei. Beside him Makoto's eyebrow was ticking in a strange manner, face in a pained grimace.
Haru just looked bored until the host said one of the old gods had been a god of water and suddenly he became all attention. "What was the water god's name?" He interrupted the host while she was in the midst of talking about seasonal gods.
The woman paused, perhaps taken a bit aback by his sudden intensity. "Tewodros. It means two waters but-"
"What did he look like?"
"N-no one knows. He was a god."
"Water doesn't have a form anyway, Haru-chan!" Nagisa put in.
"Actually water does have a form," said Rei. "Gas, liquid, and solid. The amazing thing about water is-"
They never got to hear what the amazing thing about water was as Haru demanded, "What sort of swimming style did he use?"
Makoto pulled him away at that point before he became too exuberant and frightened their poor host even further.
It was just the five of them so when they were allowed to wander around the temple on their own it just made it feel that much bigger. It was almost a little lonely without Samezuka's swim team there with them. Then again it was only for today. After today all of their activities would be with the other swim team. For some reason that made Gou feel slightly better. Even if she had to hide certain things from her brother at least there would be other people around so the areas wouldn't feel so big.
"It's too bad Captain Mikoshiba isn't here." Gou looked up to find Nagisa and Rei near her. Nagisa was the one speaking. "I like spending time with him. He's fun."
She rolled her eyes. He loved talking about Mikoshiba so much. Even with Makoto's warning he still did it.
"Yes," Rei agreed. "He is a very generous and kind individual."
Rei too? He's only saying that because of this morning. Then again tutoring and helping Rei was really nice of Mikoshiba to do. Especially considering Rei being on a competing team. If the Samezuka members found out about Mikoshiba's tutoring of Rei would they protest? Or maybe they wouldn't even blink at it because that was just the sort of person their captain was.
"He let us do the joint practice with him too," Nagisa pointed out. "Most swim captains wouldn't have done that."
"Y-yes." Rei pushed his glasses further onto his face. Even if all of that that was true Rei didn't like being reminded of their first joint practice. That time when he had sunk like a rock and Haru had to save him.
Gou frowned at the both of them. "You certainly have taken quite a liking to him without even knowing him that well," she commented dryly.
Nagisa looked at her. "Don't you like him?"
Gou's mouth dropped. Such a point-blank straight-forward question. And he asked it with such innocence! "G-Guys aren't supposed to ask girls that kind of stuff!"
"Is that a yes?"
"No! It's not! I don't like him."
"But you married him."
"I don't know why I married him!" Gou pinched the bridge of her nose, exhaling sharply. She felt like she had had this conversation so many times before. "I was drunk. It was a mistake! I don't remember any of it."
Nagisa was silent for a moment, absorbing that. "Well," he said after a moment, "why don't you like him then?"
"Huh?" Gou lowered her hand to blink at him.
"Why do you dislike him?" asked Nagisa and though he had phrased the question a little differently Gou still didn't fully understand what he was trying to get at.
"I…I don't dislike him." She crossed her arms loosely, glare darting to the temple walls. "I just…I don't really know him. It's awkward."
"Why?"
"You know why!"
"Because of your marriage?"
Gou's face was reddening. He always said such embarrassing things like it was no big deal. It was infuriating. "Yes."
Nagisa scratched his head. "I guess I don't understand," he admitted. "You were friends before that right? Why should you let something like that get in the way of it?"
"B-because!" How could she explain something like this to Nagisa? Guileless Nagisa, who looked at things with such a child like exuberance. She almost felt like he wouldn't be able to understand no matter how she tried to explain it.
Then again…how did she explain it to herself? She had unintentionally created an intimate situation between herself and Mikoshiba, and he the same. It was only natural that it made things a little uncomfortable. But then again…did Nagisa have a valid point? Were Mikoshiba and her friends? That night at the bar, before they had done their stupid mistake and made things so hectic, it had seemed like they were on their way to it. If they hadn't gotten stupidly married they likely would still be on the path to becoming that.
So…why aren't we?
The marriage had surely thrown them a curve ball but that didn't necessarily mean that they couldn't move forward from it. Did it?
"Besides," Nagisa continued. "As I said before he's Rin-chan's captain. Based off that alone shouldn't we want to be friends with him?"
Gou made to answer but a loud sniff from Rei caused the words to die on her tongue. The taller teen's eyes were unusually bright. He clasped his hands under his chin. "Nagisa-kun you are so caring and wise!"
Nagisa laughed. "I only learned how to be so wise from you, Rei-chan! I'm normally terrible at this sort of stuff!"
"So modest too!"
Gou sighed and rolled her eyes, albeit fondly. Nagisa wasn't giving himself enough credit. And he was right. Even if things were a mess and she was stuck in marriage there was no reason to not be Mikoshiba's friend. If they became friends it may even make their situation easier and less awkward. That would be nice.
She sighed. "You're right," she said. "I should be his friend. Thanks, Nagisa."
He smiled at her.
Gou chewed on a nail. She seemed to be doing a lot of that lately. She couldn't help it though. She was nervous. She stared at the other person residing in the house. It may be a little creepy, the way she was staring, but Mikoshiba was luckily too immersed in his paper work at the kitchen table to notice her creepy stare.
He hadn't said much to her when she had first arrived home. Some pleasant greetings before he fell back to whatever he was he had been doing prior to her walking in. Gou wasn't satisfied. The conversation she had had with Nagisa at the temple revolved around her head like a merry-go-around she could not ignore. There was no reason Mikoshiba and her couldn't be friends. Bridging the gap between them and putting them at ease with each other would make things so much less troublesome. But…what was the best way to approach such a situation?
If I were Nagisa…If she were Nagisa she would have walked straight up to Mikoshiba and declared, "We're friends now, Miko-chan!" and that would have been it. But Gou would never be bold enough to take that route. She wasn't shy but she could never go that far.
And the others…well, they were pretty bad examples. Haru would stare blankly, not saying anything while sending out mind waves of friendship that would likely only confuse and creep Mikoshiba out. Rei would stutter over his words so much he would never be able to get them out or else he would start talking about the different dynamics of friendship and how he had memorized the theory of them. Makoto likely wouldn't say anything at first until the other brought it up, or he would say it quietly when the moment arose on its own. Makoto would wait his entire life for the opportunity to come of its own accord rather than create it himself.
I can't wait that long! Things had to happen now, otherwise there was no point.
It was a bit ironic how their positions had switched. Before their…mistake Mikoshiba had always approached her so energetically and often paid special mind to greet her specifically. He had always seemed so happy to see her no matter what. Now he was still friendly but more subdued. He had backed off tremendously.
Am I actually missing the way he used to greet me? She blinked at the sudden thought. Maybe. Maybe it had been nice seeing his face light up any time he caught sight of her. Maybe she hadn't noticed it back then but now that it was gone, she…kind of missed it. To think someone became so happy at just the mere presence of you was kind of nice.
Funny. I never thought of it like that before.
Her eyes roved over her surrounding in a desperate attempt to find something to spark a conversation. A conversation about anything. Anything would do. Laundry, soccer, the weather, balancing her check book. Actually she didn't balance her check book. Balancing his check book. He seemed like the type of responsible individual who would do such a thing, record every little transaction in detail including the teller's name and the address of his business so he could look over them lately. Yes, Mikoshiba definitely seemed like that type of person.
Oh my god I am not going to talk to him about his check book.
Her gaze crossed over her notebook lying on the living room table and her eyes widened. Of course! What better thing to talk about then that! Gou snatched up her notebook. She clutched it preciously to her chest like it were a photo album of special memories.
For a moment she sat there, silently freaking out. What if he got offended or brushed her off like Rin did? What if he disregarded her presence completely and she would be left standing there like an idiot?
She closed her eyes and steeled her nerves. It was just a conversation. That was all. They had had plenty of them in the past, there was no reason to get nervous about it now. Besides, hadn't he told her if she ever needed advice or help all she had to do was ask when they were walking back from the Iwatobi lodges?
Remembering that offer gave Gou new courage. She rose to her feet. The first few steps were hard but she forced herself forward. She walked over to where Mikoshiba sat at the kitchen table. She slammed her notebook down – maybe a little too hard – and Mikoshiba drew back at the suddenness of the action. He looked up at her in faint surprise.
Gou refused to falter. I have come too far to falter. I must preserve.
"Tell me," she said. "Tell me everything you know."
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