A/N:
I AM SOOOOOOO SOOOOO SOOOOOOO SOOOO SOOOOO SOOOO SOOOOOO SOOOOOO SOOOOO SORRY! SSSSSSSSSOOOOOO SSSSSSSOOOOOOO SOOOOOOOOO SORRY! SORRY! SORRY! SORRY! I AM SORRY, SORRY, SORRY! YOU HAVE NO IDEA HOW SORRY I AM! THIS DOESN'T EVEN COVER HOW SORRY I AM, I AM SOOO SOOO SOOOO SOOOOO SOOOOO SOOOOO SOOOOOOOO SOOOOO SOOOOOOO SOOOOOO SOOOOO SORRY!
OK... Here is chapter Seven. After a long time, I know... and like I said ^ I am really sorry. First I came down with the flu and couldn't do anything, and my grades started to suffer, so I had to bring them back up. Then my internet wasn't working, then I got caught up in something that my friend was dealing with... and I had a relapse into my own issues, and yea, just a whole lot of hell, and it's not over, but I was finally able to get a few days of peace, where I could wallow my sorrows temporarily with Castle and Fanfiction. (You can see in this chapter... that I was kind working out my sadness... so yea...)
Not actually as long as I wanted, but since I'm now supposed to be packing cause I have to go someplace, I'm getting yelled at as I type this, so I have to finish typing and go pack.
OK, in this chapter, you're wonderings about the last chapter will be (hopefully) mostly satisfied. PLEASE let me know what you think. Either in a review, or in a private message, I don't care. If you don't like it, I can change it, or maybe post two versions for those who do... but I would love to know what you think about it.
I love you all...
I don't even want to guess when I might have the next chapter up, I have no idea, and I'm so sorry. I wish I was better with it all, but it's really hard, and I'm really sorry.
I hope I do the characters justice.
Let me know what you think.
LOVE YOU ALL
CrazyBeCat
Ch. 7
He watched as Alexis worked, her bottom lip tucked between her teeth as she thought. How he missed having her around the house. She was all the way in Texas… why she chose Texas, he didn't have a clue, but that didn't change how much he missed her being around. She was always busy with her classes, barely had time to even send a text, let alone call anymore, or write him a letter. He hadn't seen her for a year because over Christmas vacation she was getting ahead in one of her subjects so she could move ahead to the next level.
He studied her fiery hair, and reminisced about how he loved watching her bouncing around the house especially when she was still in elementary school. He missed her smiles, and even that single comment that would shed an unseen light on a case he was working with Beckett.
Beckett… his eyes began to water… how it pained him to be here in the past, watching what tragedies had led up to her death. He could have stopped it, he could have helped prevent her death… just simply by staying. By doing the opposite of what he had thought was right. He shouldn't have cut off his connections with her, he shouldn't have totally distanced himself.
He didn't move when Alexis looked up for had gotten used to people not being about to see him, but jumped in shock when she spoke, "Dad? What's the matter."
-You can see me?- He asked.
She tilted her head to the side, probably more confusion spread across her face than he himself felt, "Come on dad, that's not funny. If you're just here to waste time, then I've got work to do."
-Beckett's pregnant, you have to get your dad to go back to her.- He shouted.
Her eyes narrowed a little before widening, "Who… who are you? What have you done with my dad!" She stood from her desk, grabbing the letter opener he had gotten her as a birthday present, as she shouted, "What are you doing here?"
He put his hands into the air and took a step back, fearful of what was going through her head… he was her dad… so maybe he looked a little older, but not more than a year… though it felt so much longer since after he had heard of Kate's death… he even had some gray hairs. -Whoa hold on, I'm not going to hurt you! What's gotten into you?"
She clenched her teeth before closing her eyes and screaming, his eyes widened but he didn't move, he was too confused, too taken aback by the fact that she could see him, "Daddy!"
He could hear footsteps pounding down the stairs almost instantly. He always was a light sleeper, had always been a light sleeper, which came in handy during times like this… his whole core shook as he tired not to run to Alexis and comfort her… there was no way his past would be down the stairs in more than a minute, it didn't matter how tired he was… a scream like that coming from Alexis…. -No, I'm not going to hurt you! I'm trying to save myself, uh, your dad, from pain, Alexis.-
She screamed again and the footsteps pounding down the stairs grew faster, louder, and closer.
"Alexis! What is it! Alexis!" His past shouted as he came into view of the room.
"Daddy, what is he doing here? What type of sick joke is this?" Alexis began to sob as she dropped her letter opener.
"Who? Alexis, there's no one here." His past couldn't see him? Then how could Alexis? How could his past not see him? He was him… they were one and the same.
"Can you not see him? Are you blind? He's right there!" She pointed to him, and his past turned to look, but clearly didn't see him… and started laughing, "Good one, Alexis, you really got me. I should have known."
"What are you talking about?" She looked back to her present father, and he took his chance to run from the office to where the Angel of Time had decided to wait.
-How can she see me?-
The Angel of Time stood from the chair it had been sitting in, -She has a tie to you. Something within you wished that she could see. You may say that you didn't, but that's what happened. In many cases it doesn't work when the past is awake, but there are a few rare occasions where the past can see the future while awake.-
He let it sink in as an idea slowly came to him. -Take me back to Kate.-
-Of Course.-
Kate stared at her tile counter for what felt like hours before pulling the number she had gotten from Lanie out of her pocket.
Since she was already waiting for her blood test results, there was no reason to go to her regular medical doctor, but that didn't mean anything else she had to do was any easier. Just because she was able to skip a step and go straight to an OB didn't mean anything was going to honestly be simpler.
Sighing heavily she closed her eyes for a moment before grabbing her phone and quickly dialing in the number. She hesitated, her finger resting on the send button, a tear slithering down her cheek, before she pressed the button and put her phone to her ear, dreading the moment the ringing stopped and someone would pick up.
Another tear slipped down her cheeks as a cheerful voice spoke, "Hello, this is Doctor Stephens' office, I'm Lori, how may I help you?"
Kate swore her heart stopped beating as her mouth became dry, "I'd…" she choked out, "I'd like to… make an… appointment…. Doctor Lanie Parish said that Stephens was the best OB I could wish for-"
"Lanie Parish? Why, I'll be right back, Carly would surely care to speak to you herself."
"No, it's ok, I just need an appointment, you don't need to bother her."
"She won't be bothered. Anything for a friend of Parish's," Kate could hear the phone being put down and sighed… all she needed was a freaking appointment, she didn't need any of this 'friend of a friend' bullshit.
A moment later a less peppy, but still friendly, voice spoke, "Hi, I'm Carly Stephens. My nurse failed to get your name," she chuckled, "but it's great to hear that Lanie's still kicking. Haven't heard from her in a while."
"I'm Beckett- Kate. Kate Beckett, and I'd like to schedule an appointment."
"I can't imagine why you'd be calling otherwise," Kate swore she could feel the smile from the other woman, and her nerves began to settle a little, "did Lanie do a blood test for you? She did it once before with a woman she recommended me to."
"Yea, she promised I'd have the results sometime tomorrow," Beckett replied.
"Great to hear, I can get you in at seven if you'd like? I know it's around dinner time, but I can imagine you haven't been feeling like eating, so maybe eating a little earlier or later will turn out to be better for you."
"Seven, yea, I'll be able to get there, but what if I don't have the results by then?"
"Don't worry, I'll badger Lanie about making sure they get in a little sooner. It'll be good to call her up anyway, see how she's doing."
Kate's lips twitched into a small smile at the teasing subtext of the woman's voice, "All right, what time should I get there?"
"Six-thirty, to give you plenty of time to fill out forms and such, if I can get you in a little before seven, it'll be good for you to be there. Because it's your first visit, it'll take a little longer than normal, but you'll most likely be out before eight."
"Great, sounds great."
"I'll be waiting to meet you tomorrow Kate Beckett. Have a good night."
"You too," Kate replied, a little less nervous about the whole thing, before hanging up.
Lanie smiled as Esposito walked into her morgue with a plump yellow rose, "Javier Esposito, what on earth are you doing here at this hour?" She laughed at the mock hurt look he flashed her.
"I thought I'd ask my lovely girlfriend to come to dinner with me," Esposito grinned as he wrapped his arms around Lanie and planted a passionate kiss to her lips. Pulling away he presented her with the rose, "A flower for you."
"Why thank you, Javi. I'm flattered, and would love to have dinner with you."
"Chinese?"
"You bet," Lanie smiled. grabbing her purse before tangling her fingers with his and walking out of the morgue with her cheek against his shoulder. Sighing when her phone rang, she didn't let go of Javier's hand as she dug through her purse to find her phone, "Lanie Parish."
"Hey you, it's been a long time since we've talked. You available Brainy?"
Lanie laughed at her long-since-used nickname, "Carly! Great to hear from you, I'd love to talk, but I've got dinner plans."
"Ooo, a boy huh? All right, I won't keep you busy, but just wanted to ask if you would speed up Kate's results."
"I'm already speeding them up, it's hard to get them to go faster, it takes a while, you know that."
"Yea I know, but she's got an appointment for seven."
"In the morning?" Lanie exclaimed as she stepped onto the elevator.
"No, brainy, in the evening. Can you make sure they're ready before six thirty?"
Lanie took a minute to think, "Yea. Yea, I can have them by six thirty. No problem."
"All right, fantastic. Talk to you some time soon?"
"Yea, maybe we can get some coffee," Lanie replied before hanging up.
"What was that about?" Javier asked as they stepped from the elevator and headed to his car.
"A friend of mine from med school. I'm running a test for a friend of hers who contacted me, and she called to see when I could get them to her," Lanie smiled, lying easily since it wasn't her information to tell. He'd find out soon enough if Kate was pregnant and decided to keep the baby.
Javier chuckled, "She seemed to give you a bit of a scare."
"Yea, but I had heard her wrong, it's all good." Lanie cuddled a little closer to Javier, and he wrapped his arm over her shoulder, "Burrr… it's cold. I forgot my coat in the lab."
"Don't worry, I've got an extra jacket in the trunk." Esposito smiled as he opened the passenger side door and handed her the keys, "Here turn on the engine to start warming it up a little, and pop the back."
"Sure thing," Lanie gave him a small kiss before sliding into the car. Shivering as her back touched the cold seat, she rubbed her arms, taking her time before putting the key into the ignition. Shifting her position she reached over and pulled the small lever that released the trunk lock.
As she was about to move back, her boyfriend's voice called out, "Don't move! Lanie! Don't move!"
Esposito smiled as Lanie pressed a kiss to his lips before he circled around the back to get his jacket from the trunk. As he waited for Lanie to pop the trunk for him, he noticed something on the ground sticking out from beneath his car. Worry coursing through him he dropped to the asphalt his eyes seeing what he had hoped wasn't there just as the back popped open, "Don't move! Lanie! Don't move!" His eyes widened in horror at the sight of the bomb duct-tapped beneath the driver's seat of the car.
Pulling out his phone he dialed in dispatch as he went back to the passenger side of the car, "This is detective Javier Esposito of the NYPD, I need the bomb squad at the M.E.'s office off main street," He saw Lanie's eyes widen at his words and he looked away, needing to keep his voice from trembling, "Yes, my girlfriend is in the car, leaning against the driver's seat," he paused, "It has to be pressure oriented, it is directly underneath the driver's seat. I know about bombs, but I'm not any good with them, and don't want to risk anything going wrong."
"Javier Esposito, this had better be a sick joke," Lanie's voice was strong, teasing, but he could tell out of the corner of his eye that she was falling apart.
"Baby, just don't move OK? Everything's going to be fine. I'm not going to sugarcoat the situation, but I'm not going to let anything happen to you, and you won't be alone if something does happen," he replied before addressing the person on the phone again, "Please, make sure they get here soon, I don't have a clue about what this bomb may be capable of, and I would like to have my girlfriend around for a good long while."
Javier hung up before moving to the passenger side of his car, "So there's a bomb… under the car?" Lanie asked, not looking at Esposito.
"Yes, there is." Javier swallowed, "Lanie… My God… I'm so sorry."
She gave a shattered chuckle, "Hey, just heating up the date, no worries, I'll be fine until the squad gets here."
Esposito nodded, though he knew she couldn't actually see the movement, "Want me to call-"
"Nah-uh, you are not calling Ryan, Castle, or Beckett. You got that? They are not hearing about this until it is long since over and done with. I do not need those three bustling about like crows."
He attempted to snicker, but it sounded more like chalk being scraped down a chalkboard, "All right, I won't be calling anyone, and I won't be leaving your side."
"Oh you'd better not," Lanie tried to tease, "cause if you dare try, I will bl-" she stopped short and changed the subject, "Can I tell you something, that you have to swear to all you care about you won't go telling to anyone?"
"Yea, you can tell me," he replied, happy for the change of subject.
"I think Beckett might decide to make a move."
"What do you mean?"
"I mean with Rick. I think she's finally starting to turn around and face it."
"What gave you that impression?"
"Just a hunch, really, but I hope it's true, they're driving us all crazy," Lanie replied, her tone lighter than before.
"You've got that right," He replied, taking her free hand in his, careful not to bump her so she wouldn't shift against the driver's seat.
"I love you," Lanie spoke after a moment of silence.
"I love you too, don't forget to tell me again tomorrow though," he answered.
"I won't, it'll be the first thing on my to do list."
"Good, cause the bomb squad should be here very soon," Esposito said as he glanced at his phone, watching the time tick away slowly.
He took a deep breath as he paced across her floor. -Look at me! Please, look at me. Please, Kate, look at me.- He stopped moving, thinking of how much he loved her, how much he couldn't stand being away from her. -Please, Kate, listen to your heart. See me.-
Kate's gazed shifted from her wine glass that she had just finished draining the grape juice from, and locked with his, "Castle…"
-Yes! Oh, thank God, you can see me!- He cried, moving towards her.
"has left you, and you're stuck with the consequences," Kate's voice cracked and moved away from his direction, eyeing her actual wine rack.
-No! No! Kate… I know you saw me. I know you can see me. Please, look at me again!-
"He's gone, and you're the one who has to pay the possible price," she swiped a tear from her face and grabbed the carton of grape juice, not even caring to pour it into the glass so she could pretend to drink away her sorrows.
-Kate, go to him, and I… he won't push you away. He will welcome you with open arms. He doesn't know you aren't pushing him away! Kate, please, you have to hear me. You have to see me! Please! Look at me!- He fell to his knees sobbing, pleading for her to do the smart thing and fix their relationship.
"What would be the point in ruining my career for a baby? I'm not married. I'm not even in a relationship with him, other than his muse…" Kate continued to speak out loud, like she always did when looking at a murder board, trying to figure out what piece didn't fit, and it ripped at his heart to see her breathing, to think that in less than a year she was to be violently torn from the world.
He'd been an idiot, and it cost him more than the world would offer him twice. He'd lost the most wonderful woman, the biggest piece to his heart, the woman whom he wanted to hold in his arms and claim as his own, whisper in her ear the wonderful words that only he could tell her. He had finally found his happily ever after… after two failed attempts, he knew that she would be the one, and it had been his fault that he broke it off.
It was his fault for not being there when she died. He was the only one to blame for her death. He should have been there. Should have stuck by her side. Instead, he left, and didn't take her calls, or answer his door, or see that most obviously she wasn't trying to push him away.
Why couldn't he have cleared his head for a minute, to come to the obvious conclusion that she was still trying to talk to him, so she hadn't wanted him to leave when he did. In fact, she wanted him there, to be with her, only because he hadn't been there, the end result was her death, and his not hearing about it for a month after when Lanie called him to ask about being part of the funeral.
He placed his head to the wood floor, listening to her list off the reasons how he had shattered her heart as well as his own, each word like a knife being stabbed into his gut, and he took a shuttering breath when she stopped.
Kate scoffed, swirling her glass, despite the liquid being absent, "But I love him."
He looked up, slashing away the tears from his eyes, "You… you loved me? You loved me too?"
Esposito took a deep breath as he looked at the leader of the bomb squad, "Hold on… you're telling me, that the only way this bomb isn't going to kill one of us is if we can move away from the car in less than four seconds."
"To cut the wires would trip the bomb, we have no way of removing the bomb without causing it to go off. Whoever planted this is good, really good, though careless because you were able to find it. At least if you pull her out, you've got a small window of time."
"Javier, please, you've had him tell you that four times, the situation isn't going to change, and I'm getting awfully sore from staying still."
Javier ran a hand down his face, "All right. OK. Get everyone on your team back."
"You don't want one of my boys to help you pull her out?"
"She's only got one free hand, no point in crowding and injuring someone for no reason."
"All right. Good luck," the man replied before addressing his people in a loud voice, "Everyone move back! Move back to the edge of the parking lot, and be ready to move once the bomb goes off. Get the ambulance ready to move, and the hospital ready and waiting. Every second in crucial!"
The man got a jumbled reply of 'Yes sir's, and in less than a minute, Lanie and Esposito were the only two remaining in close range to the vehicle.
A lump in his throat and tears in his eyes, Esposito took a deep breath and turned in a circle, a steely emotion replacing his frantic one, "You ready?"
"Never better," Lanie answered as he took her hand in his and slowly wrapped one arm around her side.
"Keep your head down low, when I get to three, launch yourself out as I pull you out. Don't worry about hurting me, better alive with a broken back than dead. Give it all you've got, and don't even think about going soft. Slam into me to help throw us backwards. OK?" He stated matter-of-factly.
"I love you."
"I love you too."
"We didn't call anyone."
"Better they not be here."
"Right…" she choked on a sob, "I'm ready."
"One," He tightened his grip.
"Two," she tightened hers, closed her eyes, and clenched her teeth together.
"Three," Esposito gave a broken cry as he used every once in him to yank her from the car, her body slamming into his as she pushed off the seat, curling into his body with the force of a cannon, flinging them both through the air.
Timed seemed to slow. His heart was pounding. His ears were ringing. His breathing was heavy. He could feel Lanie's warm body curled against him, her tears staining his shirt.
Dear God. He thought. Get her out of this alive.
A/N: *ducks beneath a flipped over table* I KNOW I'M SORRY! ONE OF THE WORST CLIFFHANGERS EVER! I AM SORRY! PLEASE, DON'T MOB TOGETHER AND HUNT ME DOWN, I'LL TRY MY HARDEST TO GET THE NEXT CHAPTER UP SOON!
