Disclaimer: Bleach characters and environment belong to Tite Kubo.
Rated: T
Jorie: I can't believe you're thanking me for updating:) Thank you for reading.
HAPPY CHAPY FAN: Hmm, you're going to have to wait to find out the reason:) Hopefully, it will be a joyful wait
Crystalxangel: You made my day. Thank you!
TruantPony: I know, right? Not being able to help Ichi is one of the fundamental reasons why I don't like the Ichixhime pairing. She may understand him but she can't help him. I kind of used that here.
Thank you EVERYONE:) Thank you for all the reviews and all the alerts! I can't believe it.
Thank you all again!
Tell Me You Love Me
Chapter 5
Broken
"…I walked into the room that evening and there were rose petals all over the floor," Momo was saying, in a tone of pure rapture, her face exhibiting all the signs of one who was physically present and mentally absent.
Rukia was sure she was gone off to that happy place which was the night of her proposal. Rukia was hearing it for the third time today, but she didn't complain. She could hear it all day because she couldn't get enough of Momo's happy face as she recited the story.
"They led up the stairs, all the way to the balcony. And Izuru was there, looking so handsome in a nice suit and he had a bouquet of roses in his hand. I almost screamed in happiness when I saw him. Oh, it was just the most perfect evening! "
Rukia smiled at this part. She waited for Momo to continue.
"His eyes just called out to me and… Oh my God… he didn't have to say a word! I just knew and he got down on one knee and pulls out this gorgeous ring and says, "Marry me"."
Momo was on the verge of tears because of her happy memory. She waved the hand that held her ring around, blushing and tearing up in happiness. Rukia had to admit, the ring was beautiful. It had belonged to Izuru's grandmother who had given it to him when he was young. Izuru kept it all the while and when he found the right girl, he'd given it to her. It was a two carat diamond ring that had an antique finesse to it. It simply glittered on her finger.
Right now, Momo was looking at it lovingly.
"Earth to Momo," sang Tatsuki, in apparent annoyance. It seemed like she'd heard this story too many times and had had enough of it. Momo snapped back to reality.
"What?" she scowled.
Looks like Tatsuki ruined a good moment there, thought Rukia.
"I'm sure Rukia needs to know about other things than just the proposal," Tatsuki said, rolling her eyes. They were all walking to Momo and Izuru's apartment to check out Momo's wedding dress.
Rukia silently agreed but kept quiet. Frankly, Rukia too was preoccupied in the mind. Therefore, she felt like contributing very little to the conversation. She was happy to let Momo do all the talking and just nodded along at the right time.
"They're… still uh… together… Ichigo and Orihime."
She hadn't slept the previous night because of those words. They rankled at her, making her toss and turn in her sheets, unable to repress the memories that plagued her mind. Part of her still wondered at how she'd made it back to the hotel in one piece. She felt dazed and surprisingly – emotionless - after she'd heard the news from Momo. She didn't even know what happened the rest of the time she was with her friends.
She could only think that the part of her brain that still seemed to function took control and guided her limbs back to the hotel and into the bed.
Once she was on it, the floodgates opened. Emotions came crashing down on her, making her cling on to the pillows for dear, sweet life. It hit her hard, just then, that she was completely alone.
When it rains, it pours.
She cried then stopped. She tossed and turned. Then cried again. Then tossed and turned some more. And like that, she felt morning arrive.
Almost mechanically it seemed, she got up off the bed, straightened out the mattress and sheets (force of habit), wished her sister a good morning (she had brought the picture along), and hit the shower.
She felt nothing. She was numb.
The previous night, she didn't have the strength to call Shuuhei like he'd asked her to, so she sent him a message saying that she was alright and bid him goodnight, leaving no room for further communication. She had done the same with her brother. She just wanted to curl up in her bed and stay there.
She checked her phone and found a couple of messages on voice mail. She heard them all patiently, one by one and answered them accordingly. One particular message was from Momo who said she would be coming to her hotel to escort her back to her apartment. Momo wanted to show her the wedding dress.
She sat in the silence of her room for about an hour then called for room service. They brought her breakfast and she ate, half-heartedly.
Rukia chose a pair of faded grey coloured jeans, navy blue blouse and a blue trench coat that fit her quite well. She wore her favourite sneakers and sat waiting, ready.
They're still together…
Seven years, they had been together. She didn't even know how to feel.
Inoue Orihime and Kurosaki Ichigo… my once best friend and once boyfriend, together for all the time I was out of their lives…
How should she feel? Hurt? Confused? Shocked?
She just didn't know. Maybe she felt all of it and maybe she felt nothing. All she knew was, whatever she was feeling, made her want to run away from it all. Run away from everything and everyone she'd ever known in her life. It made her want to stop being Kuchiki Rukia, and be someone else, anyone else.
One part of her knew that they would be together long before she heard it from Momo. She had known it then, when he'd cheated on her. The fundamental thing about growing up and being friends with Inoue Orihime was that, she was obviously beautiful, even as a child. She had the hair and the body that would make any idol jealous. She always got the attention from the guys, even if she didn't notice it. She was just too innocent and naïve to be aware of the effect she had on people.
Rukia had not been jealous, no, not particularly of her best friend. She was just over-shadowed. Rukia never complained about it because she didn't like being the centre of attention what-so-ever. As they grew up, it did start to get a little tedious for her, to be known as the "smarter one" of the two.
Ichigo must really love her… of course he would… why wouldn't he?
Orihime had everything that any guy would want. Rukia didn't think that Ichigo would be one of those "guys".
The front desk called saying that Momo was waiting for her in the lobby. Rukia clutched the arm of the chair she was sitting in. She… was scared. She didn't want to be hurt any more. She can't handle being hurt anymore. There were already too many cracks in her facade, a few more would completely tear her apart.
And she knew, the next time she saw either Ichigo or Orihime, she would have no idea how to react. Just the thought of either of them made her blood boil. She was angry. She was so very angry.
She was finally able to put a name to her emotions: hate.
She hated them. She hated them both. But mostly, she hated him. She would never forgive him. She was done with him. She would leave as soon as the wedding was over. And she would never come back.
It was enough for her to hold on to the hate. By holding on to that hate, she could feel safe around them; she could not be harmed. As long as she hated, she would be able to walk away unscathed.
She went to meet Momo.
Momo talked and talked and she just listened. But it didn't register in her brain. She was taking it all in through one ear and passing it out through the other. It was like an out-of-body experience. She was there but she didn't feel like she was there. She saw no colours, she heard no sound, she barely felt the road beneath her feet.
"Hey," said Momo, putting a hand on her shoulder. She turned to face her. "Are you okay?" she asked, looking concerned. "You're awfully quiet."
Rukia smiled, mechanically. "Of course I'm alright. How can I not be? I'm with my friends after all."
Momo and Tatsuki exchanged a surprised look between them. "A-Are you sure? Because you don't sound okay to me," said Momo and Tatsuki nodded in agreement.
Rukia smiled some more. "I'm fine. Let's go see your wedding dress. I just know it'll be beautiful," she said, with a hopeful look on her face.
Her friends frowned. They both had the same thought: Something is wrong.
They started walking again and within a couple of more minutes, reached a large apartment complex close to the edge of the town. It had a large sign that said, "Karakura Apartments".
Momo led them into the posh building and pushed the button to the elevator. It dinged open and they got in. Momo pressed the button with the number eleven on it. A few seconds later, the elevator doors dinged open again, this time at the eleventh floor. They got out and walked through a long hallway, finally stopping at a door with the number 58 embedded on it.
Momo unlocked the door and stepped inside. Rukia found herself in a neatly furnished living room where the curtains matched the furniture and the entire place had an air of comfort. Momo took her on a tour of the apartment which had a bedroom, a bath, a kitchen and a dining room, on the lower level and a bedroom and bath with an extended balcony on the upper floor. It was very well furnished and was very clean. Rukia immediately liked it and told Momo as much.
Momo and Izuru would do well together, she thought.
"Come on," Momo said excitedly, "I'll show you the dress." She climbed up the stairs and led her to the bedroom and into a large closet.
"Won't Izuru notice the dress here?" she asked in spite of herself. The closet was large but it was still the closet she shared with her fiancé.
"He's been banned from the closet ever since I got the dress. He keeps his clothes in the other room," she said, grinning widely.
Rukia heard the doorbell ring all of a sudden.
Momo, who was carefully opening a large cardboard box that was the size of a small refrigerator, looked up at her. Tatsuki was in the kitchen, getting drinks for them all.
"I'll get it," Rukia said. She went to the front door, grabbed the door knob and pulled.
She found Inoue Orihime outside the door. Her grip on the door knob tightened immediately. A rush of dislike came over her and she fought against herself to keep the dislike showing from on her face.
Inoue Orihime, on the other hand, looked like she'd just seen a ghost. She paled visibly and gulped.
"Orihime…" said a voice behind Rukia, startling them both. It was Tatsuki, carrying a tray of drinks. She had sensed the tense atmosphere and decided to break it up.
"T-Tatsuki-chan…" Orihime said, finding her voice at last. She looked at Rukia, timidly, almost as if she were afraid to face her.
All three women had the same thoughts in their mind - the last time that Rukia and Orihime had spoken; the day Rukia had found out about Orihime and Ichigo. The feelings, however, that each of them felt was drastically different. It was shown clearly on their faces.
"Inoue-san," Rukia said, in a low voice and opened the wider to let her in. She moved in, flinching at the sound of Rukia's voice. She shut the door and turned around.
There was pin-drop silence in the room. Tatsuki had no words to offer. This situation was too tense to make an abrupt change.
Rukia looked at Inoue full in the face, locking her purple eyes with Orihime's grey ones. Orihime looked beautiful, more so than she had been in high school. She looked like a capable woman but still had the same warmth and gentleness that Rukia remembered.
She also remembered other things, happy things that made her like the woman standing before her to an extent of sisterhood. They were all pushed aside by a single thought in her head.
This was the woman that Ichigo loved.
"How are you?" Orihime asked her. Her voice was barely audible.
"I'm fine, thank you," Rukia replied, sounding severely cold, not looking away from her eyes. She saw a flutter of emotions there when she heard her answer.
Orihime was at a stalemate. She'd thought that Rukia would take the initiative to exchange pleasantries with her but Rukia stayed silent, observing her. Truth be told, Rukia was trying to curb her emotions. They wanted her to do something violent to her former best friend, like kicking her out and slamming the door in her face or walking out of the apartment not wanting to breathe the same air as her, with the intention of hurting her as much as she could.
"Guys…" Momo's loud voice drifted over to them all the way from the upper floor. "Who is it?"
"Let's go inside," Tatsuki suggested. She did not like what was happening. Rukia was definitely angry and Orihime definitely looked scared.
It was the sound of Momo's voice that snapped some sense into Rukia.
What the fuck am I doing?
She wanted to be cruel. And Rukia was never cruel, not to anyone even to those who deserved it. She had come for Momo. She didn't want to cause problems by bringing up unnecessary things and ruin the best week of Momo's life.
Taking a deep breath, she said, "Yeah, you're right," to Tatsuki, who looked relieved. "Let's go" she added to the both of them and walked up the stairs.
Orihime and Tatsuki looked bewildered at the sudden change in her person but was glad for it; especially Orihime.
Maybe things can be changed, she thought.
She remembered the inebriated Ichigo from the night before. It was then that she realised that she could not have both of them in her life. It would have to be either Rukia or Ichigo.
Never both…
Ichigo woke up feeling like his head was on fire. He was lying on his couch, still in the clothes from yesterday, but someone had covered him up with a blanket and put a pillow under his head.
He didn't have to guess who. It was the only other person who had a key to his apartment.
Orihime
He sat up with difficulty, his head throbbing with every movement he made. His mouth felt exceptionally dry and he suppressed the urge to think about his stomach. He felt like he was going to puke any second.
He slumped onto the couch, breathing in and out, trying to relax.
What the hell happened last night?
He didn't remember a goddamned thing. Well, he did remember certain things. The meeting at the park flashed into his mind. Every detail of it was clear to him. She walked away from him again. He remembered being so upset, so very distressed, that he didn't think he'd be able to make it home in one piece. Mostly because he knew Orihime would be waiting at home.
He couldn't face her, not in his current state, not looking broken and lost.
Without really thinking about it, he walked into a pub which he passed everyday but hadn't really given it a second thought, until then. It had an old fashioned interior with some light music playing in the background.
He had a few shots, just to feed some strength into him. Before he knew it, he had downed half a bottle of Jack Daniels in a matter of minutes. He paid and left and felt unsteady on his legs. But he walked anyway, taking his time, just wandering to wherever his feet were taking him.
He reached his apartment. Then, everything was a blur. He was afraid of whatever he had done after that. What did he say? He hoped to God that he didn't say anything about Rukia to his girlfriend, particularly about seeing her again. He did not want that.
There was a knock on his door. It hurt his ears. Slowly, he got up off the couch and went to open the door. When he did, he found himself looking into the severely disgruntled face of Ishida Uryu.
He didn't say a word as he walked into the apartment. Ichigo shut the door and faced him.
"Who told you?" Ichigo asked, his voice sounding raspy.
Uryu didn't answer but continued to glower at him.
"Was it Orihime or was it Tatsuki?" he rasped again, "Who was it? Just tell me."
"Does it matter?" Uryu asked, sounding extremely angry. "What the hell were you thinking?"
"Look Uryu, it's not a big deal. So I got a little drunk. It's not the end of the world, okay?"
Ichigo sat down on his couch again and took off his shoes and socks. Uryu stood where he was, surveying his every movement.
"A little drunk? Tatsuki said you could barely stand! Oh shut up! (Ichigo had an "Aha!" moment here) You met her, didn't you? You met Rukia."
Ichigo looked at him, stunned. Uryu took that as a yes.
"What happened?" Uryu asked him, in a softer voice.
It cost him an effort to say it but he did. "She walked away from me. She didn't want to talk to me."
Uryu had expected as much. He sat down on the couch next to Ichigo.
"Do you think the two of you can make it to the end of the week?" he asked Ichigo.
"I don't know. I just don't know."
Ichigo's worst fear was confirmed. He had blabbered to Orihime about seeing Rukia at the park.
How am I going to fix this now?
After some time, Uryu spoke, "You know, I've never asked you this but… why did you cheat on Rukia back then?"
Ichigo bristled at Uryu's choice of words. "I don't want to talk about it," he said, in a cold tone.
Uryu stood up, looking twice as angry as when he first came in. "I don't know what's going on in that head of yours but whatever it is, stop it. Forget about Rukia, let her go. Just leave her and move on, okay?"
At this point, he could no longer continue because Ichigo had stood up and grabbed his shirt, anger etched in his face.
"Don't you dare tell me what to do!" he snarled.
Uryu pulled his hand off the shirt and said in a voice of forced calm, "She knows that you and Inoue-san have been together for seven years."
Ichigo looked stumped. Uryu continued, "What do you think she thinks about that? You cheated on her with her best friend and for seven years you've been in a relationship with her. Think, what would you think if you were her?"
Ichigo merely collapsed onto the couch, the strength leaving his legs.
"Yeah…" Uryu said, talking softly once again. "She'll think that you've always loved Inoue-san, from the beginning. So, I'm asking you, whatever it is that you think you want, forget about it. Make it to the end of the week, and then you can go back to your own life."
"What if I don't want that?"
A strained silence followed.
"I'm sorry, Kurosaki," said Uryu, his hand on the door knob, "It's over…"
He closed the door behind him, leaving Ichigo alone with his thoughts.
There is a lot of angst flying around.
Next chapter will be more lively, I think.
Hope you liked it. Please review.
