Chapter
6 Suicide
Trunks sat
still, cradling the silent form of a young girl in his arms. His eyes were
cloudy as he rocked the young baby, Kakorotto, his daughter, their daughter.
As he
stared limply at the babe his mind flew off to the smiling face of his wife, as
she walked down the isle at their wedding, at their honeymoon, and even when
she finished giving birth to their babies. Dende her smiled was gorgeous, no
matter what the situation was. No matter who or what was there, no matter what
she was smiling at. Even when she was a child she could capture his heart with
her beautiful smile and big puppy dog blue eyes.
Everybody
thinks I'm going crazy
'Cause I don't eat or sleep
They say I'm lookin weak
But everything they say is true
Girl I can't make it without you
And I don't know which way to go
Up or down, fast or slow
So I think it's time for me to go away
And I know it sounds crazy
But you're not my lady anymore
FLASHBACK
"Oh come on Trunks, please." The
14-year-old Pan begged following Trunks from the bedroom of the large ship.
"No Pan," Trunks sighed.
"Please." Pan gave him a sad puppy
look with her puppy dog style blue eyes. She made her eyes water and curled her
lower lip out and down.
Trunks turned his head away
sharply and tried to ignore the pleading gaze coming from Pan.
"Pan no."
Pan gave a puppy dog style sad
whimper.
Trunks sighed and slowly tilted
his head towards him keeping his face away and one eye shut tightly but turning
his one eye to look at her. He sighed and gave in.
"Fine but if you crash into
anything…" he began.
"You'll pulverize my little head.
I know." Trunks sighed.
"Okay that is the ignition, that's
the steering wheel…" Trunks instructed.
"Trunks," Pan complained sharply.
"I know how to drive the ship, you've showed me a million times already."
Trunks sighed.
"I guess your right."
Pan smiled, giggled and took the
controls.
"Hmm…lets see…Gill where is the
next dragonball at?" Pan asked gingerly.
"Where it is, is unknown. Must be
closer." Gill answered sharply.
A wicked grin crossed Pan's face.
"Well I guess I'll just have to
search for it then." Pan gave the controls a sharp twist to the right and the
ship went in that direction.
"PAN!!!!" Trunks yelled as he
pulled himself out of the dented wall of the ship where he had landed.
"Oops." Pan said and laughed.
Trunks sighed.
"This is going to be a long trip…"
END OF FLASHBACK
Slowly
he lost his will to live…
His eyes grew cloudier as he watched
the baby, her young eyes smiling at him with their coal black intensity. Her
small smile sent shivers up his spine, as if he had seen a ghost. That smile
was Pan's.
His memories quickly fled over to
the first time he had seen Pan since her death.
I never thought
I never thought
I'd lose my pride
I'd lose my pride
I never thought of suicide (oh)
Until you took your love away (way)
I never thought
I never thought
I'd lose my pride (lose my pride)
I'd lose my pride
I never thought of suicide
Until you took your love away (love away)
FLASHBACK
Trunks awoke the morning before
the dragonballs were supposed to be unstoned. His heart raced as he reached
under the bed to get the stone dragonballs.
Where were they? He couldn't find
them. Trunks eagerly pushed his hand around and around until final a rough
piece of brown paper scraped against his hand. Trunks sighed and grasped the
paper, pulling the package filled with the stone dragonballs with it. Trunks
took a deep breath in and blew upon them. A light layer of dust had collected
over them within the last month of resting where they were.
He slowly pushed his hand beneath
the package and pulled it up to his place on the bed. He slowly pulled the
protective over rapping from the dragonballs. He smiled as he pulled the last
bit from them. He glared down but to his surprise…
The dragonballs were gone. In
there place were seven perfectly ordinary, oval shaped rocks. He pulled them
from the package and searched every corner. They were nowhere to be found.
"There gone Trunks." A voice said
behind him.
Trunks turned sharply towards the
door to see his sister, Bra, standing in the doorway leaning her head and back
against the doorframe.
"Where are they Bra, I was going
to wish…" Trunks said angrily.
"Pan back with them?" Bra
continued for him.
"Ya." He spat. "Now why don't you
give them back?"
"Sorry no can do big bro. They're
gone scattered around the world."
"Why?"
"Well you see Trunks the night you
awoke with a start to find the package at your bed side I couldn't sleep so I
went downstairs to get some water. But when I passed your door (you know you
really should keep it closed at night) I noticed you pulling the stone
dragonballs from the package. So that morning I took the Dragonballs and
replaced them with stones. I watched them everyday until last night when they
went back to being the dragonballs. So I made a wish last night when you were
asleep…"
"For what?" he spat.
"For me to come back." Another
voice said walking over beside Bra.
"I'll leave you two alone." Bra
smiled at the look of bewilderment on her brother's face. "Remember its only
3:30 am."
Bra laughed lightly and walked
off.
Trunks glared in bewilderment at
the figure.
"Pan?" he asked quizzically.
A smiled crossed the girl's lips
as she walked forwards.
"Yes?"
"I never answered your question
why I was there at your death." Trunks smiled and patted the spot beside him on
the bed. Pan slinked over and sat beside him.
"So what's your answer?" she asked
smiling.
"I
love you."
Pan leaned forwards and touched
her forehead with his.
"I know." She leaned her face
towards his and brought her lips to his, rapping her delicate pearl white arms
around his neck.
Trunks pushed his lips onto hers
carefully, as not to disturb the soft flesh of her lips upon his. He smiled
inside himself as he rapped his strong unyielding arms around her waste and
carefully leaned back against the bed. He broke apart from her and smiled.
Pan smiled gracefully at
the handsome saiyjin prince.
END
OF FLASHBACK
Slowly he lost his will to live…
If I die I know I'd still look
over you
Lovin you, forever no need to
Heaven is not that far away
Heaven is not to far away
I can still see your precious face
Said it might have been I thought this way would make you glad
When I look down on you I can see I made you sad
It's too late for me to change it
Only God can explain it
And the
thoughts of when he proposed…
FLASHBACK
"Pan when you died I felt like I
was gone. My whole heart disintegrated and my whole being begin to whither away
into nothingness. When you came back I felt that I was given a second chance
(as I was) to have a whole self. Pan until now I never had a full self. Not
until you were with me. Pan, you are my whole self, you are my life force.
Without you I am nothing." Trunks slid silently off the bench and opened the
box he had been holding. "Will you do me the honor of becoming my wife?"
Pan's
eyes grew wide and they began to water. She stared down at the beautiful ring.
It had a gold band, shaped like a rose. It had petals on the top with emeralds
set inside them and in the very center was the largest gem she had ever scene
in a ring. It was a beautiful, giant blood red ruby shaped like a rose. She
covered her face with her hands and made a sound that sounded like crying.
Trunks stared up at her with his eyes full of hope. Pan finally pulled her
hands down and looked into his eyes.
"Yes." She laughed and held out
her left hand. He slid the ring out of the box and onto her finger. Her eyes
weld up with more tears and she flung her arms around him and they kissed the
most passionate kiss they had ever felt.
"Pan remember when the world
begins to crumble and you feel like nothing will ever be right again just look
down at this ring and remember the scent of roses." Trunks spoke softly into
Pan's ears bring their lips together.
"I
will, I promise."
END
OF FLASHBACK
Slowly he lost his will to live…
I never thought
I never thought
I'd lose my pride
I'd lose my pride (I never thought)
I never thought of suicide
Until you took your love away (til you took my love away)
I never thought
I never thought
I'd lose my pride
I'd lose my pride
I never thought of suicide
(yeah, yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah)
Until you took your love away
And of course their wedding…
FLASHBACK
"Do you Son Pan take Briefs Trunks
to be your lofal wedded husband to love and to comfort through sickness and in
health 'til death do you part?"
"I do." She smiled.
"Do you Briefs Trunks take Son Pan
to be your lofal wedded wife to love and to comfort through sickness and in
health 'til death do you part?"
"I do."
"The rings please."
Trunks and Pan quickly exchanged rings
awaiting eagerly for the kiss that would bound them forever in a love that
could never be broken.
"I now pronounce you man and wife.
You may now kiss the bride."
Trunks lifted Pan's vale and saw
the tears I her eyes. He smiled at her and brought her lips to his. Everyone
laughed, cheered, and applauded in the background. Nothing around them could be
heard; only the soft pounding of the other's heart was heard by either of them.
END OF FLASHBACK
Slowly he lost his will to live…
I never thought that I would
feel this way
(never thought I'd feel this way, never never never never)
I never thought anyone could turn my sun away (oh, oh, oh)
Until I fell in love with you
(I fell in love with you baby)
How could you leave me all so smooth
Knowing girl that I'd never have you
Trunks stood slowly, carrying his daughter out of
the living room up the stairs. His eyes were clouded with tears and puffy and
red; his cheeks were stained with the tears that refused to stop flowing.
His heart beat slowly in his chest as he entered
the nursery, lying Kakorotto in her tiny crib, laying a small kiss to her
forehead. He smiled lightly at her, as her smile greatened as she almost
giggled. She was the most wondrous thing in his life, he was so proud of her.
She had Pan's smile, which he remembered her having since the day she was born.
FLASHBACK
Trunks and Pan looked into each
other's eyes and then down at their children. The boy had spiked black fluff
for hair and the girl had spiked black and lavender flush as hair. On the left
and right side of her head it was lavender but around the front and back it was
black.
"He looks like your father." Pan
whispered.
"Ya." Trunks said quietly. "Vegeta
he is."
Pan smiled at her daughter and
took her from her husband. She handed her son back to his father.
"I guess your Kakorotto." She
whispered as she gave her hungry daughter her finger to suck on. She smiled as
the tiny girl sucked hard on her finger. "Kakarot Leia Briefs." She smiled and
kissed her daughter's small forehead.
Trunks leaned down and rapped his
arms around his wife. He had handed off Vegeta to Bra and Pan had handed
Kakarotto to Bulma.
Pan rapped her arms around her
husband and they brought their lips together.
"Thank-you Pan." He whispered once
they broke apart.
"Your welcome." She whispered
back.
END OF FLASHBACK
Slowly he lost his will to live…
I never thought
I never thought (never thought)
I'd lose my pride (I would lose my pride)
I'd lose my pride
I never thought of suicide
Until you took your love away (oh, oh, oh)
I never thought
I never thought
I'd lose my pride
I'd lose my pride
I never thought of suicide
Until you took your love away(way)
Trunks's smile faded from his lips and he whispered
a small good night and good-bye to the little babe. Turning, he exited the
room, leaving the small child to her dreams. He stalked over to the large
window with a view over looking the city. The stars twinkled brightly above the
light layer of playful mist that lay over the top of the city lightly, spinning
and twirling around the top of the skyscrapers, as if playing a game of tag.
The city lights twinkled brightly as if trying to
out glow the faint stars within the skies above. But none could over come the
beautiful north star, that burned so brightly over head, as if guiding Trunks
somewhere. It usually comforted him to look up into the brightness of the star,
but today was different. He just stared limply up at the star that lit the
skies, trying to cheer up the unhopeful face of Briefs Trunks. But it couldn't.
He never looked up at the stars alone anymore. He
and Pan would always sit on the window ledge, or sometimes on the roof with or
without their babies, just relaxing in each others embraces as they gazed
leisurely at the stars, making out the shapes of familiar things of people.
They would often point out the figures of Vegeta, Bulma, or sometimes even
Goku. It was fun to just sit there and look.
But that night there were no figures of Vegeta,
Bulma, Goku or anyone else within the stars. They all seemed to be a cloudy
jumble of dots, encircling the world.
Trunks sighed and left the windowsill, walking over
to the kitchen. In the kitchen were the dishes from earlier, waiting to be
cleaned and placed away in the many cupboards.
That was something he and Pan always did together.
Pan usually washed and he dried, but sometimes they would alternate. It was
fun, although it was a chore, for they usually flicked bubbled and flung water
at each other in the process, messing up the kitchen and making all the dry
dishes wet, causing them to have to do them all over again. But that didn't
matter; they were doing something together. He attempted to do the dishes, but
he couldn't. Not without the bubbles being tossed around the room and the loud
cries of laughter and giggles. This was not right.
Trunks sighed. He walked out to the balcony,
careful to leave the door open incase Kakorotto cried when he was outside. He
quietly seated himself on one of the long deck chairs that you could put your
feet up on. But it didn't feel right. Pan would often find him out there within
minutes and come out, seating herself in his lap and lying down with him,
snuggling up to him. He would then put his strong arms around her figure and
hold her as they often drifted off to sleep out there.
But there was no Pan out there to relax in his
arms; for him to hold tightly.
There just was no Pan.
He stood, leaving the balcony, stalking into the
kitchen. He placed a hand on the kitchen counter as he realized that he needed
Pan far too much for this, he needed her. He longed to feel her hug and embrace
him, holding him closely. Without her he couldn't live, he couldn't breathe
right, he couldn't smile; he couldn't even look in the mirror for her felt that
he had disgraced himself. He was nothing without her.
Trunks left the kitchen slowly, walking back over
to the nursery. He walked inside, stalking slowly over to the cradle. He kissed
the small girls forehead lightly once more, careful not to disturb her.
"Good-bye Kakorotto. I'm sorry I couldn't be here
for you, I should have let your mother take you; she could have taken care of
you. I need your mother, without her I am as good to you or anyone else as a
dead man. And that is what I might as well be." He stalked out of the nursery
leaving his daughter alone.
I never thought (my baby)
I never thought
I'd lose my pride (I'd lose my pride)
I'd lose my pride
I never thought of suicide(I never thought)
Until you took your love away
I never thought
I never thought
I'd lose my pride
I'd lose my pride
I never thought of suicide
Until you took your love away
He
stalked back into the kitchen in a slow, quiet rhythm. He placed a strong hand
on one of the counters, reaching into another with the other. He quickly
grasped what he had been searching for and pulled it out. It was a sharp, long
knife that was used to cut meat etc. He pressed the cold metal edge to his
wrist and began to push…
"WWWWWWWAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
And Kakorotto began to cry.
End
of Chapter 6
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