Chapter 7

'Back home'

I was watching TV with Adrian on the couch; well I wasn't really watching TV, I was thinking about the right thing to do… How could I leave Leo now, when he needed me the most? Adrian, my dearest friend was in here to help me; it felt so good to have him here.

'What are you thinking Little Dhampir? He told me.

'Huh?' I was so distracted, Dimitri was on my mind, like always since I saw him for the very first time, his eyes, his amazing hair, and his braveness in battle, all of him, definitely all of him was on my mind and that was all I could think about. I know that he'll always be the right one for me, my other half, the half that I need to be completed.

'What's wrong Rose?' Adrian said calling my attention this time.

'I'm just thinking'

'About?'

'You know' I said like the most obvious answer.

'Oh god Rose, what is it with the Russian, why you can't get over him?' He said with a jealously voice.

'It's not that simple to forget someone you love Adrian'

'I know that Rose, so... you have to do something, go for him and try to be happy'

'I can't… I' I was interrupted by Leo, who came to join us.

'I need to talk to you, please come to the kitchen' Leo said and I nodded, I started to follow him to the kitchen.

'What is it? Do you need something?' I asked.

'Rose, in the past few months, you had become my dearest friend, my best friend, and with all that happened, you had being here to help me' I tried to interrupt to tell him that that's what friends do, but he didn't let me. He kept talking.

'I know that you and I are just friends, who steal some kisses from each other and that's all. But I want you to be more than my friend… I'm in love with you Rose and I know you're still in love with your old instructor, but I'm sure I can make you forget him. What I'm asking you is to give me an opportunity to make you happy' He said. I was so afraid that this was what he wanted; I couldn't say no, I couldn't break his heart.

'Leo… I… I don't know if it is right' I said honestly.

'Please Rose, just give me a try, be my girlfriend and come with me, please?' I was in shock, I love Leo, but my love for him was just like my love for Christian or Eddie, and even though he was right, I was still in love with Dimitri, I just couldn't break his heart right now, not today, not when his mother just passed away. So sadly, I smiled at him and nodded.

'Thank you Rose… I promise to make you happy' he said and then pressed a soft kiss on my lips.

When we finished our conversation and went to my room, I was so, so sad. Why did I do that? I knew this was going to happen and I wasn't strong or brave enough to reject him.

I went to bed and I couldn't sleep, I cried and I cried, now my future with Dimitri disappeared and it was all because of me, just because I was a coward.

The next day Amy was ready to go; we all hugged her and said our good bye.

Before leaving Amy turned to me and told me:

'Rose, I'm so grateful to you, thank you for all you've done for my family, please take care of him now, and please don't break his heart' I nodded, I was sacrificing my own happiness to his. When Amy was gone I stood in the living room with both Leo and Adrian, it was a not very comfortable situation and I decided to go to my room and try to rest.

In the afternoon before sunset, Adrian, Leo and me were getting ready to leave the house and go to the court in order to Leo and me could ask for reallocations. I was so nervous since I knew I'll have to meet Lissa and tell her I was leaving again. And maybe I was going to see him too, and I knew I wasn't ready for it, no when I knew I missed the opportunity to be with the love of my life.

A knock on my bedroom door took me away from my thoughts.

'Rose?' Adrian asked and I let him in.

'What is it Adrian?' I asked.

'Oh nothing little Damphir… I just wanted to know what you are doing'

'I'm setting up my baggage Adrian… Are you blind?' I teased him.

'That's not what I meant… you know that' he sounded serious.

'Adrian, please, you don't…' he raised a hand in front of me, in order to keep me quiet.

'Stop it now Rose, you know I love you, that's why I'm here, always for you, I'll always be here for you, but now I have to tell you that I disagree to what you're doing. What the hell Rose? You don't love this man, I know he's hurt, but I think he's getting advantage of this situation to take you with him. Think about me, about Lissa, if you go with him, we probably won't see you again.

'That won't happen, I promise' I said, but he started to talk again.

'We can't force love Little Damphir, we both know that, and even if I hate the cradle robber Belikov, I know he loves you, and I know you still love him, you could be happy for once in your life, so please Rose don't do that to yourself'. My eyes were now in tears, I knew he was right, but what else could I do?

'I can't abandon him Adrian, I owe this to him, to his mother, I'll try to be happy with him, and he's a great man'.

'You'll regret this Little Damphir, I know' He said, and then Leo came into the room and asked us if we were ready to leave.

All of us took Adrian's car to travel to court, it was a long and quiet trip, any of us talked much during it. Awkward I thought. At night we arrived at court, and I knew what I had to do next.

Leo and I went to the guest house that was assigned to us during our stay in court. I left my baggage on the bed of my room and went to meet Leo, who was in the living room; I took a long breath and went to talk to him.

'Leo, I need to go to Lissa's dorm, to let her know that we are here, and explain her why am I leaving again' Leo nodded and kissed me.

'Are you sure you want to do this right now?' He said while hugging me.

'I have to, and also I need to see her because I just missed her so much, you know she is the only family I have' I said a little bit irritated.

'Ok, ok, just saying you know' Leo said in a defense voice. He kissed me one more time and I went out of the guest house and shouted the door behind me. I knew that the way I was feeling wasn't his fault, but I right now I was feeling the darkness in my mind.

Then I made my way to Lissa's building.

I knocked the door and Eddie opened the door, I knew Eddie was one of Lissa's guardians, and I was really happy about it, Eddie was a great guardian and also a great friend.

'Rose, you're back! I'm so glad to see you again kid' Eddie hugged me tightly.

'Wow Eddie, you look beautiful in your guardian uniform, not as beautiful as me of course' I teased. 'I'm so glad to see you again too'.

'Rose? Is that you?' Lissa asked me through the bond and I smile, in less than a minute my best friends was here next to me, hugging me so hard that I couldn't even breathe.

'I can believe you're finally here, I've missed you so much Rose, I'm so glad you made your way back home' both of us were crying now, she was crying because I came back, and I was crying because I missed her so much and now I was going to leave again.

Life sucks.

'I'm so happy to see you Liss, I've missed you so, so much' I said in tears.

'I'm so happy too, you're finally here, now everything is going to be like it have to be' she said hugging me one more time.

'Well… I… I' I couldn't say what I was supposed to say.

'What is it Rose, you know you can tell me everything' She said, and her face turned from happy to worried.

'I'm not going to stay here Lissa, I just came here to see you, but I'm leaving again' I said, and she didn't move, she looked like a statue there, saying nothing, just staring at me as if she had just seen a ghost.

Her pain was now reflecting my own pain. I just didn't want to leave her again. This was my place, wherever she or Dimitri are, that will always be my home.