She was in her room again when he went looking for her; he hadn't seen her eat in the past two days after their confrontation about Mamiya. Though she was still showing up at his rooms at night, sleeping in the chair and fighting what ever it was she was fighting, he hardly ever saw her apart from that. A small trunk sat on the floor various cloths sat strewn around her as well as a few seemingly mundane items, a polished wooden box a silver chain dangling out of it, a hair brush (Though considering all the hair she had a hair brush was a good idea.) and a black silk scarf that was wrapped around something.

"I keep hearing his voice... now I know he's alive, I want to charge after him and rip him limb from limb... that stupid phrase... his beautiful beast... why can I only remember it now..." she shook her head and gazed at the stuff on the floor

"This is the third time I've pulled it all out of the trunk..." she muttered with a half hearted laugh she shook her head

"I have this pull in my gut that's saying I'll never see this house again... I know it sounds stupid but... something in me is worried, what if they find us? If they were to hurt Matchi, or Megumi, or you, it would be all my fault..." she said he frowned and stepped forward grabbing the polished box he handed it to her

"Strong Maya is doubting herself?" he asked "You know you shouldn't act like that, what if it had been Matchi who walked in, she's worried about you, you know." he offered, he had no idea what he was doing but she seemed distressed and that just didn't fit her at all, that thought was promptly beaten but it was true. She looked at the box and smiled

"It's was a gift from my mother, I saw her very few times when I was growing up, she always told me when she saw me though, that I didn't have to be strong, that I should be a good woman and let a man protect me, that I should be beautiful." she said wistfully

"I never cared for being girly, mostly I was with father and Mamiya, but I still kept my hair and wore fine clothing, my manners though were hardly those of a lady. Mother left father a year after I was born, she couldn't take his dictatorship like love, 'He's too intense for me!' she proclaimed once... I didn't understand then, I was only five at the time she said it." Severus frowned why was she telling him this, for some reason he didn't mind but he was at a loss of how to respond

"Things went down hill when I got my Hogwarts letter, Mamiya was no longer fathers little protégée, I was a fighter, that's what father said, I never gave up because I so wanted to please him... silly little girl who wanted her fathers love... Mamiya hated it, I think he honestly hated me, though I tried to do anything I could to please him..." she went on when had she last talked about this? When she had told Dumbledore about her life all those years ago? Something else came to her mind falling, screaming, utter pain, then the black void.

"You know what?" She asked, he looked up after moment of silence her sudden question seemed out of place, had she given up trying to talk to him?

"I died once." The statement was simple, and it hit him like several hundred rocks, he was about to ask how that was possible when she continued.

"I was pushed out of the astronomy tower window... pronounced dead for three minuets before I was brought back, the miracles of magic." she said he looked at her surprised

"Maya why are you telling me all of this?" he asked finally his onyx colored eyes examining her face surprise in those golden eyes; however, was not what he had expected

"I don't know... I guess I just don't have a chance to talk to people often and the box brought back memories." she said now hurriedly packing things in the trunk

"I'm sorry I hadn't meant to go off like that, I'll be more mindful of what I say from now on ok? I honestly hadn't meant-" she was cut off as he grabbed her shoulder and turned her to face him

"That's not what I meant, you can talk all you want about what ever you want, I just wanted you to realize it was me you were talking to, not Matchi or Megumi." he said evenly she shook her head

"Matchi doesn't know, I don't really talk with her like that..." she said turning away and continuing to pack he handed her a few things pausing at the black scarf and what ever it held

"Can I ask?" he said holding it up carefully incase it was delicate Maya smiled

"Go ahead and unwrap it if you want I just don't want it to brake." she said, he undid the knot in the silk and the inky black fell away to expose a panther statue in black fogged glass with amber gems for eyes

"It's the most important thing in the world to me, and the only gift I got from father, he gave it to me when I became and animagus..." she paused thinking for a moment

"He said 'Panthers symbolize strength, stealth, and protection, you made a good choice with your animal my girl.' the kindest words he ever said." she said reciting the line she knew so well, Severus couldn't help a weak smile at her love for the glass animal that sat in his hands. Wrapping it back up he handed it to her carefully and she nestled it among the clothing for extra protection.

Closing the trunk she let out a weak laugh, he looked at her questioningly she was looking down the dark hair shadowing her face.

"I used to think, that this world was pretty even and fair you know? That for everything there was fairness and equality... I was wrong... even after my brother became mentally unstable, I tried to find balance. Maybe I had done something wrong, and the balance for it was my brother's sanity..." she said standing she shook her head

"Well I don't believe that anymore, but I will try to give Mother the equivalency she deserves, I kill my brother... he's a death eater anyway. I'll be a monster, he'll be dead, mother will have her vengeance" She said standing he frowned at this statement; looking down at him she saw it

"What? Don't want me to bump off the guy who not only tried to kill you, but tried to kill me, twice, killed my mother and father, and is completely psychotic?" she asked he looked at her, more like glared

"You claim you're a monster, you talk of killing you make it sound as if killing means nothing to you." He said sharply the dark haired woman faltered

"What, so! Killing them doesn't mean anything, they are heartless creatures, monsters like me!" she yelled the instant she said it she regretted it, she had forgotten what he had once been. He stood and glared at her She glared right back, she knew she'd said something cruel but she wasn't going to admit it.

"Monsters huh? Why did you bother helping me then? If that's how you think." He said she frowned and in a quick movement she slapped him

"DAMN YOU! You so foolish, I wanted to kill you, that was my intention when I hunted you down! but you had to be a god damn savior! You had to have a heart and be a human!" she yelled raising her hand to slap him again He caught her wrist she tried to pull herself free but to her horror she couldn't he glared at her but he wasn't seeing her, he was looking past her.

"L-let me go!" she said sharply her voice wavering at first he moved fast pushing her down she hit the ground painfully and cried out he held her arms tightly his kneeling over her one knee on either side of her

"Human? You call me a human, a savior! You think you have killed, you did it for people, you did it to protect them, I killed in cold blood, and you act as if killing is nothing! Yet the blood I have on my hands screams different! You may not see it, but I'm no human, I'm a beast, a monster attempting to atone for sins I committed because of a foolish grudge!" She stared at him unable to think of what to say, his grip on her was painfully tight and she struggled to get free but she couldn't

"Savior you say? Human you say? Would a human or a savior do this?" he demanded leaning forward she had a second to realize what he meant before he kissed her. Squirming under him she tried to get away, she had to get away, he pulled back panting his eyes were dark, something in him had snapped

"LET GO!" she screamed out a crack filled the room a Severus was thrown off of her Matchi stood next the Maya her hand up bony fingers pointed at Snape he pushed himself off the ground Maya was shaking her eyes wide fingers gripping her arms so tightly her knuckles were white. She stood after a second Her face slipping back in to a calm mask she gave him a cold stare

"I don't regret that, You have to understand I'm a monster just like them." He said finally she smiled and pointed to the door

"You sir are restricted to your room till we move, when we do you will be constricted to the grounds, Understand? Now get out of my sight before I curse you for eternity." She said her voice a deadly even He stood, how dare she give him an order. After a minute long glaring match she looked away and walked towards the door

"FINE! Stay in here, I'll use that room, DO NOT LEAVE!" she yelled slamming the door behind her, on of the mirror shards came loose and fell onto the desk, Matchi walked over silently and tried to put it back into place, she was to short to reach.

"Why, didn't she fix it with magic or something?" Severus asked walking over and taking the piece from the house elf and pressing it into place

"This mirror broke when the master pushed her into it, and tried to kill her the second time... Matchi saw it, but because she is bound to the family and not just the mistress she could do nothing... The mistress never cries, but she cried then... that's when that nice wizard with the silver hair saved her and bound her with a vow..." she said Severus blinked, was she talking about Dumbledore?

"That silver man... he saved the mistress and drove the master away, he also helped her free me from the family and take me back on as only her elf, I wanted to help her more... Mistress was always kind to me..." she suddenly got an angry look and rounded on Severus

"HOW DARE YOU HURT HER? She goes through a lot to help you she even- OH!" Matchi stopped and clapped her hands over her mouth as if she had said a dirty word

"Matchi must go now!" she said quickly, and before Severus could protest she was gone with a crack. Severus frowned, what had that elf been about to say... had it been about Mayas late night visits... the woman, what was she doing?

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Three days passed with no word from Maya, at meal time Misha would appear with meals and books for him the first day Maya had left a note tacked to one of the books simply saying if he wished for a different one to ask Misha and the elf would get it for him.

She wasn't coming in to the room but he was sure she was close, not to mention the glimpse of a silken robe peeking from under the door made her presence a little obvious.

Maya Paced her room, all her stuff was packed, they were ready to go... so why weren't they going, was she actually afraid to face him again? She stopped and slammed her fist into the table, splintering wood made a crack sound in the air and her hand stung, she could feel blood running across her rapidly numbing skin.

"Damn It, I am not afraid of him... he's only a man, THAT'S ALL!" she yelled glaring at the injured appendage as if it had said something unwise, with a growl of frustration she flopped on to the bed, it had his sent all over it, a linger masculine smell, her hair fluttered in the strong blow of her breath as she sighed in annoyance.

"He doesn't help at all... this scent... what is it?" she muttered burring her face in the soft fabric and inhaling

"Herbs... he hasn't... he hasn't had a chance to work on any potions while he's been here... Maybe it was cabin fever that made him act so rashly?" she said then frowned

"No I don't feel sorry for confining him, he did something bad, he should be punished..." she rolled over on to her back and sighed

"Listen to me I sound like I'm punishing a dog for bad behavior... but he's a man..." She said softly covering her face with her hand she growled in frustration.

"A man... a man taller then me... with that pale skin... those... No! Stop this... That little voice was wrong, love is impossible, a beast such as me doesn't need such a useless emotion holding her back." she said firmly. The very idea that the great panther, a noble and strong protector, needed anyone other then her self in her life was laughable. The very idea that she had fallen in love, with a man she had at first intended to kill no less! Why the thought was lunacy at best.

"I curse whoever planted such an idea into my mind!" she said a loud crack and she jumped hiding her hand behind her back.

"Matchi it's you..." she said breathing heavily, the elf looked at her questioningly

"He wants to know when you wish to leave mistress; He also said he wished to see you he did not say why." Matchi said Maya nodded

"I see... well... maybe I shall indulge in his wish." She said sliding off the bed, her hair sweeping across and brushing the floor she was in charge, she was not a weak little girl, she wasn't a child she would not indulge in the idea of false weakness

"Dear sister... my beautiful beast of a sister." She shook her head, the three days had not done any good for trying to escape those memories of her brother... her dreams where the only escape she had, so intent on protecting Severus from the Dream lashers, that kept trying to attack him and her as well, She kept them well occupied all her training had not gone to waste. She was a skilled fighter; she was not going to be taken down by something as simple as a dream lasher, after all that's all there were creatures controlled by dark magic that invaded dreams. She stopped at the door, suddenly she felt sick, now a different memory attacked her... that kiss, those lips on hers... she reached up and traced her lower lip lightly with her fingers.

She hesitated as she reached up to knock, why should she knock, it was her room, he was only borrowing it. With a sigh she waved a hand over the door handle and pushed the door open. He jumped away from the vanity table and looked at her

"I was just looking at the injuries, they're much better now... hardy any sign of them at all except for a few new scars..." he said she frowned and shook her head

"I owe you an apology and an explanation for a few things." She said evenly He Nodded and sat

"Your late night visits?" he asked she blinked in surprise, he knew?

"Yes, that... But first, I'm sorry, my thoughtless words are most likely what caused your senseless actions." She said bowing her head lightly he frowned

"Ok, now you've made your apology now explain you late nights..." he said bluntly She looked up quickly

"What? Aren't you going to say anything about what you did?" she demanded he shook his head

"I have no regrets for any of my actions; I merely attempt to atone for what ever sin was committed." He said she frowned

"Oh fine... well anyway, the reason I've been staying around you at night." She started He snapped to attention almost comically, she looked down

"Dream Lashers, I assume you know what they are, Dark being that feed of dream energy and the energy of the living... with them under the control of the dark lord, well you know what he does, he's determined to reenter your dreams, I've been fighting them to ... well... keep your safe..." she said he blinked, she was, fighting for his safety? Even after what he had done?

The chair clattered loudly as he stood and she looked up he glared at her and she glared back

"Now what have I said?" she demanded he shook his head and stepped forward trying to intimidate her,

"You idiot! Why do you do it? Protect me even after what I did, even when I made it clear I don't need it!" She didn't back down and instead took a step forward to match his

"Because you do need it! It's what I do I protect people it's my duty, he may be dead but I can't back down from my promise till my debt to him is repaid! I'll protect all who are important to this war, all who will help Harry win! I don't know where you come in, but you do, I can tell, I'm not sure why, but your protection is now my concern I will do my duty and protect you!" she frowned

"I may be a beast, but I fight well enough. I may not be a strategist, but I put everything I have into protecting those who need it." She said looking away, damn those dark eyes, they seemed to be peeling back each layer she had put up to protect her self, like they wished to feast on her venerable core, the old little girl from long ago.

"I have no weaknesses I will not be held back from my duty!" she said after a moment she turned the crimson silk robes she had donned for that day flared out with her movement and he stepped forward and grabbed her shoulder

"And you? Aren't you important to this war?" he asked She frowned

"No I know my duty and my wish, I shall accomplish both, I know what will happen in the end, that is all that matters." She said simply He turned her around and held her shoulders tightly

"What do you mean?" he demanded

"I know how My end will come, simply, but I will not allow it until my duty is complete." He let her go, how could she speak of it so calmly? Her own death?