Chapter 7
The car headed out for the journey. Maura tried a few more times to get Jane to tell her where they were going but finally conceded defeat and stopped asking. She realized that she was enjoying the fact that Jane had planned the entire weekend for them. She had no clue where they were going but Jane seemed excited and that was good enough for her.
For her part, Jane was excited but nervous at the same time. She was just trying not to show it. She was nervous for two different reasons. First, she wanted Maura to have a good weekend. She was worried about whether Maura would like what she had planned. Jane thought she would but if she was way off base this could really be a long weekend.
Second she was worried about being with Maura for the weekend. So close to the one she loved. They had spent weekends together before and she had managed to get through it without doing or saying anything stupid. But she worried just the same. She was always afraid she would slip up and say something that would indicate that she had feelings for Maura.
Jane had convinced herself long ago that Maura couldn't possibly love her. Not the way Jane loved Maura. She knew and understood that Maura loved her but as far as Jane was concerned it was a friendship love. They were best friends. Both would do anything for the other. Theirs was a solid and strong friendship but only a friendship.
Jane knew that she was a very large part of Maura's life. Maura was virtually alone before she met and befriended Jane. She barely saw her own family. The social awkwardness that endeared Maura to Jane had also prevented Maura from developing friendships prior to Jane. Before Jane, Maura had acquaintances. Jane really was the first person to look past some of Maura's quirks and see the person behind the genius. Jane swept into Maura's life and brought her loud and overbearing family with her. And Jane understood that Maura had come to depend on those relationships. Maura was family.
Because of that Jane knew she could never make Maura feel uncomfortable in their relationship. And Jane was convinced that acting on her feelings for Maura would put the relationship in jeopardy. She would never hurt Maura in that way. She would never make Maura have to question Jane's presence in her life. She wouldn't cost Maura the only real family she had. So her love for Maura stopped at friendship.
It was enough for Jane. It meant Maura in her life every day. It meant getting to listen to Maura talk about random facts on everything. It meant getting to see the look Maura would get on her face when an idea excited her. It meant getting to witness up close the twinkle in Maura's hazel eyes when she would laugh. And it meant getting to be the source of that laughter on occasion. Jane wouldn't trade any of that on a dream. Not when Maura couldn't possibly feel the same way.
So she managed to bury her true feelings for Maura deep within herself. Some days were easier than others. On harder days she found she needed to distance herself from Maura in order to fully breathe. But for the most part Jane could interact with her without incident. She could spend the entire day with her. Sit on the couch next to her and let her snuggle into her. Let her fall asleep on her. Even sleep in the same bed together although Jane tried to limit how often that happened for her own sanity.
"Jane?"
The sound of Maura's voice snapped Jane to attention. She hadn't realized that she had spaced off. And she knew she had spaced off in the middle of Maura talking. "I'm sorry what were you saying?"
Maura chuckled, "I was asking you how much farther?"
"I thought you were done trying to guess at where we are going," she said with a smile.
"I am but I'm going to need a restroom break soon if we still have a ways to travel. I was trying to figure out if I could wait but I don't know how much farther we have to go?"
Jane chuckled too, "Oh, sorry. We probably have about an hour. I'll stop at the next rest area."
"Thank you," she said and smiled. She had noticed Jane's demeanor change as they were driving and it worried her. She reached over and turned off the radio. It hadn't been playing too loud and Jane had yielded control of the music to Maura as a reward for being a cooperative passenger but Maura wanted to talk to Jane. "Are you ok?"
"Yeah, I'm fine. Why do you ask?"
"You just grew a little quiet once we started out. You were excited for this weekend earlier today but now you seem a little distracted."
"I'm sorry. I didn't mean to fade on you. I was just thinking." Jane turned to look at Maura and smiled. She didn't want Maura worrying about her unnecessarily. There was an exit with several gas station options coming up and Jane took the exit. Jane knew Maura needed to stop and she could stand to get gas, a soda and stop the present conversation before Maura could ask her what she was thinking about.
Maura headed into the gas station while Jane handled the gas. A few minutes later Maura returned with beverages for both of them and they headed out again. Maura picked up the conversation where they left off before the gas stop interruption.
"You do know you can talk to me about anything, right?" Maura was fairly confident that Jane told her more than she told anyone else. But she had always understood that it didn't mean that Jane told her everything. Even after all the years she had known her, after all the things they had seen each other through, Maura understood there were many things about Jane she still didn't know. Too many things.
"I know that," Jane answered. And she did know that. But it was not to say that she took Maura up on that as often as she probably should. "I'm good Maura. I am."
"Jane, your definition of 'good' can be very different from everyone else's."
"What are you saying?" Jane asked genuinely confused with where the conversation was going.
"You hold on to so much. Too much. And to you, that seems normal. But I worry about what that does to you. You take on so much. You do much for so many people but you rarely let anyone ever help you. I just want to make sure you know, really know, that you are not alone."
Jane hadn't expected this kind of conversation so she really didn't know how to react or what to say. So she didn't say anything for a few minutes. Maura let the silence continue. Clearly it was not going to be Maura who broke it.
"I know I'm not alone Maura. I do." Her tone was reserved but sincere.
Maura hesitated for a moment but then continued. "Jane, I want something from you."
With pause Jane answered. "Ok?"
"I don't want an answer right this minute. It's something I want you to think about before you tell me, if you tell me. But there is something that I would like to understand about you."
"What do you want to know Maura?" she asked slowly not quite sure she wanted to know the answer to that question.
Maura shifted in her seat and stared at Jane. She wanted to make sure she could see Jane's eyes when she explained what she wanted. Maura's best shot at reading Jane was if she could see her eyes. "I want to understand why you have such a hard time acknowledging all of the good that you do in your life."
As hard as she tried, Maura couldn't read Jane's eyes in that moment. For her part, Jane wasn't prepared to answer that question so she didn't.
R&I
Twenty minutes later Jane pulled into a driveway. Maura had tried to pay attention to roads and road signs as Jane drove but short of knowing they were somewhere in New Hampshire she had no idea where they were. Jane put the car in park and turned to Maura. "We are here."
"Where exactly is 'here'?" she asked looking around.
"Geographically, Laconia, New Hampshire." Jane said as she exited the car and stretched.
Maura got out and looked around. She had been expecting their accommodations to be a hotel but this was a residence. "Jane, whose house is this?"
Jane had walked up to the front porch and went to the mailbox. She opened the mailbox and removed a set of keys. She turned to Maura who was still closer to the car than the front door. "Come on, I'll bring in the bags later." Jane put the key in the front door and let herself in.
Maura followed behind Jane who was now standing in the living room. The lights in several rooms were already turned on and having seen Jane pull the keys from the mailbox Maura knew that someone had been here to prep for their visit. She just had to ask again. "Jane? Whose house is this?"
"This was my Grandparent's home. After they passed the house was left to Ma, my Aunt and my two Uncles. The family rents the house out to families for the summer. The town is on Lake Winnepesaukee so it attracts the summer tourists. But when the house is unoccupied our family shares it. It's on a first come first serve claim basis and we have the run of the place for the weekend. My cousin Sarah opened it up earlier today and she should have done some food shopping for us as well. Would you like the ten cent tour?"
"Sure," she said as she looked around. The house was nice but the décor was simple. Maura wondered if that was because it now served as a summer rental instead of a permanent family home.
Jane sensed what Maura was thinking. "Frankie, Tommy and I spent every summer of our childhood in this house. I wish you could have seen this place when my Grandma was still alive. Whenever anyone talks about a house feeling like a home, this is the home that I picture. Our old house was nice but this place just always felt like home to me every time I came here. My Uncle Sam replaced all the furniture when they decided to rent out the home. My Grandparent's stuff is all in storage now."
Jane took Maura on a tour of the house. She spent time describing each room and what used to be in it. Listening to Jane, Maura could easily picture how the house used to look. The current set up on the house was nice. The furnishings were comfortable and welcoming but the house was missing the knick knacks, photos and little things that turn a house into a home.
"Are you hungry? We can do into town and get something for dinner," Jane offered after the tour of the house was complete.
"That would be great," Maura said and they made their way to the car. She was glad to be sharing a part of Jane's childhood with her but was still curious as to why they were here of all places. She sensed they were in town for something specific but she didn't know what.
Ten minutes later they walked into a diner that was on the city's main street. Maura didn't question Jane on where they were going. This was clearly a town Jane knew well so she followed her lead. They were seated by a hostess who looked like she was still in high school. Before menus even hit their table a voice from behind the counter rang across the diner.
"Jane Rizzoli as I live and breathe!"
The man attached to the voice came out from behind the counter and headed over to greet Jane. Jane stood up and accepted a hug from the man Maura estimated was in his 60s. "Hello Mr. Andrews. How are you?"
"Oh, I can't complain. What are you doing up here? I haven't seen you in about three years. How's your mother?" The man was beaming as he spoke with Jane.
"Ma is fine. I'm just up for the weekend. Mr. Andrews, this is my friend Maura. Maura, this is Mr. Andrews. This is his diner." Maura took the hand the man extended.
"Very nice to meet you," Maura stated.
"Likewise. Any friend of Jane's is a friend of mine. I've been feeding Jane and her brothers since they were old enough for solid foods," he laughed. He turned to Jane, "It's so funny that you're here. I was just reading about you in the paper this morning. That was a good thing you did yesterday Jane."
Jane dropped her eyes for a second. But she quickly looked back up. "It was nothing. Just doing my job." Maura couldn't help but notice Jane tense up as she tried to play off the compliment. This was what Maura wanted to understand about Jane. She never understood this reaction and she saw it all the time.
"I read that your quick thinking saved a lot of people. You should be proud of yourself Jane. We are all so proud of you." Mr. Andrews placed his hand on Jane's shoulder and smiled a kind, sincere smile.
Jane fidgeted for a second and quickly worked to change the topic. "Maura, this man makes the best meatloaf sandwich known to mankind," Jane stated as she sat back down.
"Are you here for dinner? I can show this nice young lady that you aren't exaggerating," he offered.
Maura nodded. "We are here for dinner. And that sounds just fine."
Jane was a little surprised. Meatloaf sandwiches weren't normally within Maura's comfort zone for what to order. "Maura, you can look at the menu if you want."
"If the meatloaf sandwich is a house specialty that's good enough for me."
That comment made Mr. Andrews smile. "It most certainly is a specialty. I'll take care of it for both of you." He turned to Jane. "What brings you into town? The festival?"
Jane smiled and nodded. She glanced over at her and knew that Maura was hearing even a hint of their plans for the first time. "Maura has never been to the festival so I thought I'd show her what she's missed out on."
"You will love it!" he announced. "Let me go start those dinners for you both. What can I get you to drink?"
"Just water for me," Maura said.
"The same for me as well," added Jane. Mr. Andrews nodded and disappeared into the kitchen.
"He seems like a nice man," Maura said.
"Yeah. He's right. I've eaten more meals here than I could ever count. And, you didn't have to agree to the meatloaf Maura. There are some lighter, healthier options on the menu."
"That's fine. I'd like to try it. So what is this festival?"
Jane suddenly beamed. The festival was the reason they came up here. Maura had told Jane once a few years ago that she had never been to a carnival or a fair as a kid and Jane remembered how sad that was. Jane and her brothers had spent their summers up in Laconia and every year the town hosted a festival that marked the end of the summer. There was a fair, a carnival, a parade and even a good fireworks display on the last night. Jane had always had a good time at the carnival and had wanted Maura to experience everything firsthand. This was the last weekend of the festival and Jane thought the timing was perfect.
"The town hosts a festival each year that marks the end of the summer. We used to go every year before we had to head back home for school. I thought this would be something you would enjoy since you told me once that you never had the chance to go to a fair or carnival when you were a kid. I thought I'd show you the one I grew up going to. I hope you don't mind."
Maura leaned back and smiled. She had made one comment about a carnival to Jane about two years ago and was surprised Jane had remembered. The thought of experiencing something new that was so much a part of Jane's childhood excited her. "I don't mind at all."
Mr. Andrews personally brought out their dinners when they were ready. He stayed and talked with them for a few minutes getting caught up on Angela, Frankie and Tommy. He shared some of the local gossip he thought Jane would be interested in knowing. Maura enjoyed observing the two interact. And Jane was right. The meatloaf sandwich was excellent.
R&I
Jane brought the last of Maura's hundred bags into the house. She carried them upstairs and placed them into the room she assigned to Maura. Her room was directly across the hall. As she dropped the last of the bags she turned her attention to Maura.
"The bathroom is down the hall on the left. There are towels and everything already in there. I thought tomorrow morning we could go for a run around the Lake. There are some good paths for jogging and I'd like to show you around a little."
"I'm up for anything," Maura said stifling a yawn.
Jane snickered. "Not at the moment. You won't be up for much longer."
Maura conceded, "No, I don't imagine I will be."
"Well alright. Get some sleep and I'll see you in the morning."
"Good night Jane."
"Good night Maura."
R&I
"Dr. O'Malley, I'm Sergeant Korsak," he said as the ME approached the crime scene. "Our victim is over here." Korsak led the doctor towards the body. "The victim is…" he started.
"Sergeant, I'd like to look for myself thank you." The ME said dismissively and began his examination.
Korsak backed off. He wasn't going to get into it was a covering ME. This wasn't even his case. He only took this call as a favor to Cavanaugh. Jane and Frost weren't on call this weekend. It was Crowe and Rodriguez. But they were still tied up at another scene so Cavanaugh asked Vince to oversee this one until Crowe could free himself. He should have known not to answer his phone. He looked down at his watch. Dispatch said Crowe was about fifteen minutes out. Once he got there, Vince was free to leave.
As Vince stood supervising the scene he failed to notice that he was being watched. An impatient set of eyes scanned from left to right taking in the details. Flashing lights. Cops and CSRU personnel walking about. The medical examiner doing an initial assessment of the body. The sight of two news vans pulling up briefly produced a smile. But the smile faded. Something was wrong. Something was missing. The eyes scanned the scene once more. The old man was there but where were the other two? Where was Rizzoli?
