I decided to panic. What *else* was I supposed to do? I didn't know what to do. I probably never will, either. That is, if it ever happens again. God forbid. Fortunately, I was snapped out of it. That's thanks to Willow. I love you, Willow. Thank you *so* much.
The cell phone rang. I jumped out of my pathetic pile on the floor and grabbed it. I moved faster than I thought humanly possible all for the fact that it could have been Spike or Angel. God, I hoped it was Angel.
"Angel?!" I whispered.
"BUFFY?!?!" I heard Willow yell out of happiness. "Buffy! Buffybuffybuffy! Oh my God, are you okay?! What's going on?"
"Willow?" Her usually quiet voice, now loud, washed over me. It didn't penetrate deep and make my totally complete like Angel's does, but it comforted me, made me remember *much* better times.
"Hey, Buffy." She calmed down, but I could still see her beaming in my mind.
"Willow, something awful is going on ... I ... I don't know what ... I'm lost." I tried to form the right words, but my mouth was too dry out of fear.
Maybe it didn't come across to her yet, but I was terrified. Absolute terror. I would never be this scared again. If something happened to Angel again, if he was in pain, or killed, it would be my fault. Every single second of it. And besides him being in pain, besides that already being enough to kill me, I couldn't live without him. He guides me, helps me, protects me, loves me. Is me. He completes me in every way. I *couldn't* lose him.
"Buffy? Tell me what's happening. What *has* happened." Her voice got quiet and serious.
"Angel ... is ... gone. Or ... I don't know. Can you ... can you ... or, or Giles ... Cordelia even ... can somebody come here and ... I don't know ... I could ... bring me back to Sunnydale?"
Back To Sunnydale. I hadn't even considered it. I had thought that I could just ... just stay in LA forever. Just Angel and I, together for eternity. He had wanted me to go back, but it was too painful to think about. Now that my pain was ten times greater because of him, it was pretty much okay to go back. It would be awkward, but after Angel was safe, we'd talk and work through any issues. I hoped.
"Of ... of course!" Willow squealed out of happiness again. She obviously didn't grasp how much pain I was in. "An hour ... no, two. Xander says two. I got my license this summer, so Xander and I'll be there soon. Okay, um, bye!" She hung up in a rush to get me back as soon as possible. I guess *they* wouldn't feel awkward.
I piled all of ... well, okay, my two or three outfits into my bag, as well as all of my other things. I threw all the food in the refrigerator in the garbage, letting out a sob when I saw Angel's blood. He had brought a duffel bag of clothes and a journal with him, so I carried that with me too. I left a note telling the landlord of my leave and had to take Angel's money out of his bag to pay for the last few days of rent. I reminded myself to make it up to him later.
An hour and a half later, Willow's mother's SUV pulled up in the parking lot next to the motel. I could see both of them making 'Ew' faces at the trashiness of the place but I couldn't care less. They were probably going to make 'Ew' faces at me, too.
I took a mere second to think about myself. Greasy hair, pale, too skinny, bloodshot, puffy eyes, dirty clothes. One big train wreck.
"Buffy!" Willow exclaimed. She jumped out of the car and slammed into me, giving me a huge, welcoming hug.
"I ..." I started to say something, but then shut my mouth. Should I be strong, let her think I was a stable person? Or should I completely brake down?
My sobs came up before I could decide.
******
I really, honestly tried to think about something other than her. Like, say, maybe, escaping? Keeping safe? But it was so damn *hard*.
I was so worried. Worry came up and choked me like a brown, murky water. It choked me, created a lump the size of Montana in my throat, made me anxious, tired, jittery.
Did they take her? Hurt her? What did they do? Leave her alone? That might have been even worse. I wasn't sure.
I knew what kind of emotional state she'd be in. Me, despite my recent time in Hell, I could take it. Whatever they could throw at me, I could handle. As long as she was okay ...
If they hurt her, upset her, touched a hair on her body, I would just die. I can't bear to see her uncomfortable in any way. It eats me up. But if they left her alone, with *no one*, and not knowing where I was, I knew she'd be pretty bad off. She had been so clingy and dependent of me, I didn't know how well she'd react.
I looked at my surroundings. Dark room, one window at the very top of the wall that was, of course, curtained. One of Spike's vampires was supposed to be standing guard near the door, but he was snoozing in a pile on the floor. I could sneak past him easily.
The problem would be the door. Made of thick metal, heavily padlocked. One man couldn't break that open with a kick. Not even one vampiric man. Unless that door was opened, I couldn't get out.
I'd just have to wait until someone came.
But what if that was forever?
******
Willow gathered me into her arms and walked me to the car. She ordered a very flustered Xander into the back and eased me onto the front seat. She jogged around, got in, and started trying to comfort me.
"Buffy, what is it? God, what's wrong?"
"I ... I don't even know where to begin ..." I whispered. "There's so much ..."
"We have time, Buffy. It's okay, you can tell us everything. It's just us, Xander and me." she coaxed.
"Um ... well ... I left ... because, well, you know how Angel was ... was Angelus? The spell you did worked, because right before I went to kill him, he changed into Angel." I sobbed.
Willow gasped in a little, trying to hide it for my sake. I didn't notice how Xander was reacting, I was so caught up in the story.
"So he held me, and kissed me, and told me he loved me, and I stuck a sword through his stomach. I sent him to *Hell*. And before all of that I got kicked out of school, expelled by Snyder, and kicked out of my own house by my mother just because I was the Slayer. I just ... I just couldn't deal with anything ... all of it. So I left."
"What did you do here?" An amazed Willow asked.
"I ... I got a job, waitressing, and just grieved. But then ... a week ago, Angel came back. I guess you guys know the details of how and why. But he took care of me, told me he loved me. I swear, I never met a more selfless, caring, kind person. He's incredible ... and I love him so much.
But then two days ago, Spike showed up in my apartment, babbling about how I killed Drusilla or something, and started beating me up. That's where the bruises came from." She waved her hand towards her tear-streaked face. "Angel saved me, though. Then this morning I woke up and Angel was gone, and this note was left in his place." She handed the note to Willow as she wiped the tear from her face.
Willow read the note silently, eyes wide at her friend's experiences. She couldn't believe everything Buffy had gone through. No wonder she was mess.
She didn't know how to help her deal, didn't know what to say, didn't know how to react. But she did know one thing. She didn't bring Angel back for nothing, didn't get Buffy back to only become depressed and suicidal.
She knew that she had to get Angel back.
The cell phone rang. I jumped out of my pathetic pile on the floor and grabbed it. I moved faster than I thought humanly possible all for the fact that it could have been Spike or Angel. God, I hoped it was Angel.
"Angel?!" I whispered.
"BUFFY?!?!" I heard Willow yell out of happiness. "Buffy! Buffybuffybuffy! Oh my God, are you okay?! What's going on?"
"Willow?" Her usually quiet voice, now loud, washed over me. It didn't penetrate deep and make my totally complete like Angel's does, but it comforted me, made me remember *much* better times.
"Hey, Buffy." She calmed down, but I could still see her beaming in my mind.
"Willow, something awful is going on ... I ... I don't know what ... I'm lost." I tried to form the right words, but my mouth was too dry out of fear.
Maybe it didn't come across to her yet, but I was terrified. Absolute terror. I would never be this scared again. If something happened to Angel again, if he was in pain, or killed, it would be my fault. Every single second of it. And besides him being in pain, besides that already being enough to kill me, I couldn't live without him. He guides me, helps me, protects me, loves me. Is me. He completes me in every way. I *couldn't* lose him.
"Buffy? Tell me what's happening. What *has* happened." Her voice got quiet and serious.
"Angel ... is ... gone. Or ... I don't know. Can you ... can you ... or, or Giles ... Cordelia even ... can somebody come here and ... I don't know ... I could ... bring me back to Sunnydale?"
Back To Sunnydale. I hadn't even considered it. I had thought that I could just ... just stay in LA forever. Just Angel and I, together for eternity. He had wanted me to go back, but it was too painful to think about. Now that my pain was ten times greater because of him, it was pretty much okay to go back. It would be awkward, but after Angel was safe, we'd talk and work through any issues. I hoped.
"Of ... of course!" Willow squealed out of happiness again. She obviously didn't grasp how much pain I was in. "An hour ... no, two. Xander says two. I got my license this summer, so Xander and I'll be there soon. Okay, um, bye!" She hung up in a rush to get me back as soon as possible. I guess *they* wouldn't feel awkward.
I piled all of ... well, okay, my two or three outfits into my bag, as well as all of my other things. I threw all the food in the refrigerator in the garbage, letting out a sob when I saw Angel's blood. He had brought a duffel bag of clothes and a journal with him, so I carried that with me too. I left a note telling the landlord of my leave and had to take Angel's money out of his bag to pay for the last few days of rent. I reminded myself to make it up to him later.
An hour and a half later, Willow's mother's SUV pulled up in the parking lot next to the motel. I could see both of them making 'Ew' faces at the trashiness of the place but I couldn't care less. They were probably going to make 'Ew' faces at me, too.
I took a mere second to think about myself. Greasy hair, pale, too skinny, bloodshot, puffy eyes, dirty clothes. One big train wreck.
"Buffy!" Willow exclaimed. She jumped out of the car and slammed into me, giving me a huge, welcoming hug.
"I ..." I started to say something, but then shut my mouth. Should I be strong, let her think I was a stable person? Or should I completely brake down?
My sobs came up before I could decide.
******
I really, honestly tried to think about something other than her. Like, say, maybe, escaping? Keeping safe? But it was so damn *hard*.
I was so worried. Worry came up and choked me like a brown, murky water. It choked me, created a lump the size of Montana in my throat, made me anxious, tired, jittery.
Did they take her? Hurt her? What did they do? Leave her alone? That might have been even worse. I wasn't sure.
I knew what kind of emotional state she'd be in. Me, despite my recent time in Hell, I could take it. Whatever they could throw at me, I could handle. As long as she was okay ...
If they hurt her, upset her, touched a hair on her body, I would just die. I can't bear to see her uncomfortable in any way. It eats me up. But if they left her alone, with *no one*, and not knowing where I was, I knew she'd be pretty bad off. She had been so clingy and dependent of me, I didn't know how well she'd react.
I looked at my surroundings. Dark room, one window at the very top of the wall that was, of course, curtained. One of Spike's vampires was supposed to be standing guard near the door, but he was snoozing in a pile on the floor. I could sneak past him easily.
The problem would be the door. Made of thick metal, heavily padlocked. One man couldn't break that open with a kick. Not even one vampiric man. Unless that door was opened, I couldn't get out.
I'd just have to wait until someone came.
But what if that was forever?
******
Willow gathered me into her arms and walked me to the car. She ordered a very flustered Xander into the back and eased me onto the front seat. She jogged around, got in, and started trying to comfort me.
"Buffy, what is it? God, what's wrong?"
"I ... I don't even know where to begin ..." I whispered. "There's so much ..."
"We have time, Buffy. It's okay, you can tell us everything. It's just us, Xander and me." she coaxed.
"Um ... well ... I left ... because, well, you know how Angel was ... was Angelus? The spell you did worked, because right before I went to kill him, he changed into Angel." I sobbed.
Willow gasped in a little, trying to hide it for my sake. I didn't notice how Xander was reacting, I was so caught up in the story.
"So he held me, and kissed me, and told me he loved me, and I stuck a sword through his stomach. I sent him to *Hell*. And before all of that I got kicked out of school, expelled by Snyder, and kicked out of my own house by my mother just because I was the Slayer. I just ... I just couldn't deal with anything ... all of it. So I left."
"What did you do here?" An amazed Willow asked.
"I ... I got a job, waitressing, and just grieved. But then ... a week ago, Angel came back. I guess you guys know the details of how and why. But he took care of me, told me he loved me. I swear, I never met a more selfless, caring, kind person. He's incredible ... and I love him so much.
But then two days ago, Spike showed up in my apartment, babbling about how I killed Drusilla or something, and started beating me up. That's where the bruises came from." She waved her hand towards her tear-streaked face. "Angel saved me, though. Then this morning I woke up and Angel was gone, and this note was left in his place." She handed the note to Willow as she wiped the tear from her face.
Willow read the note silently, eyes wide at her friend's experiences. She couldn't believe everything Buffy had gone through. No wonder she was mess.
She didn't know how to help her deal, didn't know what to say, didn't know how to react. But she did know one thing. She didn't bring Angel back for nothing, didn't get Buffy back to only become depressed and suicidal.
She knew that she had to get Angel back.
