Thanks for the wonderful reviews. Sorry I haven't responded to any of them, but I have been extremely busy. And for all the people who added my story to their alerts or favorites, thank you so much. Now on to the disclaimer that I have forgotten until now.
Disclaimer: I do not own NCIS or the characters. Please do not sue me. You will get nothing but student loan payments, car payments, and utility bills. You know what? On second thought, take all of them!
Two days after his breakdown Tony managed to talk Gibbs into letting him go back to his apartment. He wasn't tired of being doted upon, but he thought he needed so space. This was all too overwhelming to take in in such a short amount of time. He needed some time to get his head on strait. He'd been back at his place for a little more than two hours and he already missed Gibbs. Well, he would just have to get over that. He had been alone his whole life, he could do it now.
Gibbs paced the basement occasionally glaring at the boat. He was worried about Tony. The kid had insisted on spending some time by himself, but Gibbs wasn't sure how that was going to work out. He certainly understood the need for alone time, but Tony was still trying to come to terms with so many things, he didn't need to be by himself yet.
By mid-night, Tony had consumed a bottle of Tequila, six beers, four Vodka shots, and half a bottle of really expensive bourbon. In his depression, he failed to see how anyone could give a damn about him. Surly after Gibbs found out he drank himself stupid every time he got a little down the man would cut all ties with him. His father had never wanted him around, why would Gibbs? He wasn't smart like McGee or Kate. He was just Tony. He would never be anyone's pride and joy. Why couldn't he be better? What about him made him a disappointment? What made his father hate him so much? This was becoming too much. He needed someone to tell him he was wrong, that he was worth someone's time. He needed Gibbs.
Gibbs saw the head lights as he poured his fourth cup of coffee. It was well past one a.m. but he found he couldn't sleep. Thoughts of Tony hurting or suffering kept plaguing him, keeping him awake. The doorbell chiming didn't surprise him. Tony never felt comfortable just walking in, his strict upbringing saw to that.
The sight that greeted him when he opened the door was not all that shocking. Tony couldn't deal with his emotions, so he either ignored them or tried to drown them. Sometimes both.
"Hey, bossss! How goes it? I was thinking…"
"That's never a good thing."
"You're funny Gibbs. You make jokes. You know, I never heard my father make a joke. He was always too busy. Jokes were for uneducated people. Or so he said."
"Am I anything like him?"
Tony wiped his eyes and shook his head no. Gibbs was so far removed from what his father was, that Tony had no clue how to behave around him. Gibbs didn't demand obedience or loyalty, he inspired it. He didn't use intense physical pain or crippling guilt to get what he wanted. No. Gibbs was the only father figure he had that ever cared about him.
Gibbs pulled his son to him and held him. He had never seen Tony this drunk and depressed. This had to stop. The drinking was going to get him into serious trouble. Gibbs lead Tony into the den and sat him on the couch. The boy was swimming in guilt and liquor. One fueling the other.
"I'm sorry Gibbs. I'm sorry. I fucked up!"
Gibbs had the rest of the night to think about how to handle Tony. In the end he finally understood what he needed to do. He had to help Tony get over his guilt. Only then could he begin to deal with the abuse of his childhood.
Tony woke just after three Monday afternoon. His head was splitting and his mouth felt like it was stuffed with cotton. His stomach churned as he turned over. Then it all came rushing back. He's embarrassed himself in front of Gibbs yet again. God, Gibbs was going to kill him.
"Sleep well?"
"No! How did I get here?"
"You drove. You could hardly stand up, yet you drove from your apartment to my house. I'm not going to let this slide, Tony. You could've been killed or killed someone else!"
"I'm sorry."
Tony shrank back away from Gibbs. The raised voice reminded him of his father. He hoped Gibbs wouldn't get violent.
"Damnit! Tony, what the hell were you thinking?"
"I wasn't."
"Clearly!"
"I just started thinking about some of the things you said. My father never said those things to me. Why? Why didn't I deserve his love? Why wasn't I good enough!?"
"I don't know. I can't answer for him, but I can tell you that he was wrong. That you are so much more than you give yourself credit for. You are so intelligent. You think outside the box. Your perspective is so interesting because you always have something different to add. I enjoy watching you put things together in your mind. You're quick witted and creative. You're the best agent I've ever worked with and you're the best son in the world because I said so. But you're still grounded."
"What? I'm not a child."
"You're mine now and if you ever drink and drive like that again, I will ground you for the rest of your life. Understood?"
"Yes."
"Good."
Later that night, as they piled on the sofa to watch a movie, Tony tried to get out of his punishment. He knew Gibbs wasn't really that angry, but he was scared. He was afraid of losing Tony because he cared.
"You're not getting out of this. I won't let you destroy yourself."
"I know. And I'm glad I have you."
With that Tony snuggled into the pillow on Gibbs lap, pulling the old family quilt up to his chin as he did so. Smiling to himself, Tony drifted off knowing he was safe, loved, and wanted.
The End.
Thanks for reading. I know it wasn't my best work, I've been entirely too busy lately, but it was something. My next one will hopefully deal with Tony testing Gibbs' patience in some way. I am open to ideas. Feel free to express yours.
