Seth was having trouble concentrating on the stupid fucking flash cards Lexie was making him study. They were pictures of emotions and he was supposed to guess; not guess, know what they were. She'd been making him do dumb shit like this for three fucking days now. Everyone in the pictures looked sad to him. She said that was because he was projecting and he needed to get the fuck out of his own head.

He was trying but he couldn't no matter what he did. The looks on Roman and Dean's faces after their last confrontation were engrained in his brain; he even saw them in his dreams. There was nothing he could do that would make any of it better, and he was definitely to the point where he just wanted to let it all go.

He wasn't going to say that out loud again though. Lexie had cured him of that when they'd gotten back to their hotel room that night. Seth had been so angry at her that his tears had stopped and he was shouting at her. After getting most of it out without any reaction, which was infuriating, he'd finally told her he just wanted to quit.

He swore he could almost feel her fury as impossible as that was. He was quickly reminded it was in fact impossible when a split second later her face was expressionless as she once again had a pistol pressed to his forehead. She offered to end it all right then and there if that's what he really wanted.

He knew she would do it too, if he really wanted it. The cold steel pressed against his forehead made him really think about it, and with her hand shaking slightly this time it was even more nerve wracking. It had made him see it wasn't what he wanted though, so he shook his head no, and promptly began sobbing hysterically. When he made his choice she held him and rocked him, until he finally calmed enough to fall asleep.

They talked at length when they got to her place in D.C. He made her promise not to bring Roman and Dean into it. She even apologized for almost breaking her promise not to tell Dean about Randy. Maybe he shouldn't believe her, but he did. Something was different. He didn't know what it was or how he knew it, but he could feel it.

"Alright Bambie," she sighed entering the small living room picking up one of the cards he'd flicked across the room in frustration. "What's this one?"

"Extreme irritation," he replied grumpily without looking.

"Well I guess it's time for a break since you're not taking this seriously," she frowned at him making him feel bad, but it still didn't make him want to do it.

"Why do I have to do this? That's what you're for," he folded his arms pouting.

"Because I may not always be here, and I need to know you can do this without me," she said seriously.

"Without you?" He narrowed his eyes at her tired of the cryptic shit.

"Yes, now let's go. We're gonna be late," she said shortly tossing him a jacket.

"Where are we going?" He suddenly felt a little excited because she hadn't let him go anywhere since they got here, she even had groceries delivered and cooked all their meals herself.

"My work."

Seth could have sworn she was nervous as she wove in and out of traffic, or maybe he was "projecting" again. He didn't say anything though, figuring it was better she concentrate on the road considering he was convinced they were going to die no less than 4 times already. He was curious to see where she worked though, so he concentrated on that trying to give his imaginary brake a rest.

Lexie parked two blocks from the building which didn't seem like anything special. It looked like any sky scraper in any city he'd ever been to, but when they got inside it was like they were going for a meeting with the President or something. They were searched, x-rayed, and they even opened the travel mug she'd asked him to hold. He half expected a cavity search. The Security Guards clearly knew who she was and treated her with great difference, which was automatically extended to him, but the whole thing made him uneasy.

After what felt like forever they bid them a good day, but Lexie ignored them. In fact she hadn't spoken a word to anyone since they'd arrived. Every person they saw greeted her, but didn't seem surprised with her lack of response. He was used to her surly manner, but she had definitely been using kid gloves with him.

They made it to a private elevator all the way in the back of the building. Lexie swiped an I.D. badge he'd never seen before and hit the button marked L. He found her behavior disconcerting, but decided to just follow her lead. When the doors opened he saw there was only one door. She stepped off casually, but then quickly grabbed him and pushed him over to the corner of the room.

"If they ask this is yours. I haven't had any." she said snatching the travel mug from him and taking a big gulp. He thought it should've burned her mouth, but she gave no indication. "Put your mask on Princess; get ready for your test."

He was baffled, but determined to prove himself. She gave him a reassuring squeeze and tugged him towards the lone door. This time along with the key card the computer screen on the door took her finger prints then scanned her iris. He suddenly had a feeling he might be in over his head.

"On time as always ma'am," a little guy in glasses and a lab coat smiled nervously as they entered the room. Lexie didn't acknowledge him. She strode across the room and Seth followed trying to look like he belonged there. She pulled off her coat and several other layers until she was in nothing but a sports bra.

"We don't have all goddamned day," she snapped making the little guy jump to whatever it was he was supposed to be doing.

Seth couldn't concentrate on what that was. He'd caught a glimpse of the scars on her shoulder, but was horrified to find she had even more; everywhere. Her front wasn't so bad. Well, not compared to her back.

Her front looked like she'd had a few very recent surgeries, which were the ones he'd caught a glimpse of. Then there were scars on her stomach where it looked like someone carved a pattern, along with small circles that could've been bullet holes or cigar burns. Those were just the obvious ones.

It was her back that made him want to throw up though. Along with large patches of scar tissue that he didn't even want to know how she got were jagged thick scars that looked like she had been fucking wiped. His eyes were tearing and he couldn't even bare to look anymore.

"Mask Princess," she growled snapping him back to reality. He tried to shake the horrible images that popped in his head. "Breath and push it away."

The command in her voice though it was barely more than a whisper helped forced him back into himself. Just as he regained control the Tech was ready to take her vitals. Seth tried to remain neutral as he watched him work. When he'd met Lexie's eyes they were telling him to keep his shit together.

"98.1," the Tech frowned at the thermometer, and then opened a pink folder. "It says here it's mandatory."

"Are you gonna make that call?" Lexie asked and Seth had no idea what they were talking about, but he knew this was a critical moment.

"Well…" The poor guy was actually sweating under her gaze, and Seth almost felt bad for him, but was really just glad she wasn't looking at him like that. "Dr. Schmidt wrote it personally. It looks like you missed your last one?" He waited for her to answer, but she just looked at him, "I'll make a call."

Seth didn't know how he knew it, but she wasn't happy about that decision. He watched as she quickly pulled a shirt on and covered the rest with the thick coat she'd worn. It was less than 5 minutes before the doctor arrived.

"Ah, Dr. Masters!" He said enthusiastically, and Seth felt his skin crawling. "It's been too long!" He waited for a reply, but she just looked at him like she had the Tech. "Loquacious as ever I see. Anyway 98.1, and you missed your last shot that's not good, not good at all."

Seth realized with a start they were talking about THE shot, as Dr. Schmidt picked up the pink file. He had the sudden urge to punch him in the face. Lexie was dangerous, but he could feel it in his bones this guy was actually evil. He felt relieved when he couldn't get a read on Lexie. That was definitely a first. He hated having to guess what she was doing and why all the time.

"Well," Dr. Schmidt put down the file and frowned at her. "I don't know, what do you think we should do?"

"I'd prefer not to die," she replied dryly.

"It's a tenth of a degree," he replied, and it sounded as though she hit a nerve, though he kept his creepy smile. "I think it should be safe enough."

Seth wanted to shout that safe enough wasn't good enough. He wanted to tell the creepy bastard to go stick his tenth of a degree up his ass, but this was part of his test, so he took his cue from Lexie and tried to look unconcerned. He didn't know what was going on, but he knew this is what she meant when she said she might not always be here. His eyes stung at the thought.

"Fine, but you'll be the one telling Hannigan you killed his most valuable asset because you didn't trust your own guarantee," she deadpanned.

"You missed last month," Dr. Schmidt defended his decision.

"The guaranteed allotment for field work is 8 months isn't it?" Lexie was eerily calm, but Seth felt nauseous.

"It is," Dr. Schmidt still sounded defensive.

"So what's the problem?"

"There is no problem." He snapped, but Seth was puzzled when he couldn't feel it. "I mean it's just you're not in the field, I don't think a tenth of a degree will make a very big difference."

"Tell that to Mac," she said simply, but there was a glint in her eye that made Seth's chest tighten.

"Fine, 4 weeks it is," Dr. Schmidt conceding this battle for what Seth felt was a very long war.

"Make it 5 we'll be in Europe that week," she didn't even glance at Dr. Schmidt as she carefully scooped up her coat as not to reveal all the extra garments. Seth fought to hold in his sigh of relief as Dr. Schmidt stared at them.

He prayed he looked calmer on the outside than he was on the inside, because he was really a mess. They were almost to the door when suddenly Dr. Schmidt called out to him. "Seth Rollins, isn't it?"

"That's me," Seth fought to keep his sudden tension out of his voice.

"You're the assignment?" Schmidt asked.

"Lexie prefers to call it babysitting," he said trying to sound as though he wasn't a fan.

"Condescending, isn't she?"

"An absolute bitch is more like it," he replied pretending like this was just any old promo, and the doctor actually laughed.

"But she's the best," Schmidt sighed seemingly buying Seth's hostility, while Lexie waited for him to finish.

"Not many people carry travel mugs anymore with a Starbucks on every corner," Schmidt got to the reason he stopped him.

"Tea," Seth responded shrugging. "Imported from China can't get it in the states."

Dr. Schmidt nodded again satisfied with his replies, "That's nice." He was now completely unconcerned with him. "Well, I'm a busy man; pleasure meeting you."

With that he turned, tucked her file under his arm and headed back the way he came. Seth didn't let his relief show as he and Lexie made their way back out of the building. He had a feeling she just escaped certain and probably very painful death.

As soon as they were back in her car he let it all out. His tears fell and he began to gasp for breath. Lexie gently opened his mouth and slipped a pill under his tongue. She rubbed his back softly encouraging deep breathes. He now knew exactly why they'd parked two blocks away.

It took some time for him to calm down, but by the time they arrived at Lexie's apartment his eyes were mostly dry and his breathing was even. She told him to go take a shower and get in his pajamas while she made dinner.

Clean and dressed for bed he padded out to the kitchen. Though the medicine she'd given him was making him feel relaxed, just the memory of the fear and her scars were enough for him. He was unsure how to express what he was feeling, especially with Lexie, but he settled for what he would do with any other person he cared about as much as he very recently discovered he cared about her.

"Hey Bambie, how you feeling?" she asked gently leaning back into him as he wrapped his arms around her from behind. He could actually feel her contentment making his heart feel lighter, so he nodded. "I'm sorry I had to do that today."

"I was so scared." It slipped out before he could stop it.

"You did amazing," she turned to face him and gently brushed his cheek showing him her sincerity, and he pressed his lips to her forehead, because he suddenly felt grateful.

Seth couldn't help but smile as she melted into him, though it was not what he expected. It wasn't sexual or anything, but it was comfortable and intimate. He thought about how he almost lost her today. She would've taken the shot without batting an eye, and he knew it would've been to protect him.

"He's evil isn't he?" Seth asked thoughtfully after a moment unsure how to describe it any other way.

"What makes you say that," she asked curiously.

"I dunno… I could feel it, I guess," he wasn't sure how to explain it, but he knew he was right.

"Feel it how?" he frowned at her unable to think of a way to describe it.

"I dunno…"

"Just try," her seriousness took him by surprise.

"He's like you, but not," he scrunched his face in concentration. "You're dangerous, but you don't hide it, you know... he does. Like he uses it or something…" he trailed off unsure he was explaining it right.

"You could tell he was like me?"

"Yea," Seth sort of shrugged and her face lit up.

"You're an Empath!" She said suddenly excited letting go and pacing the kitchen. "It's the other key! I didn't see it because I thought all the crying was about dying before you could make up with Roman and Dean... but it wasn't; God an Empath! Even I'm wrong sometimes."

She chuckled to herself, but he had no idea what she was so excited about. To him being overly sensitive to not only his own, but other people emotions had always been a burden. People often teased him growing up because he was a "cry baby". It's how he got into wrestling, to prove he was tough.

"What's that mean?" he asked after a few minutes of her pacing back and forth.

"It means no more fucking flash cards!" She grabbed his face in both her hands and planted a kiss right on his lips. He was slightly worried now, because she was over the moon. She stopped abruptly, "you can feel mine?"

"Kinda, but yea I guess. I don't know you don't always have feelings…" he was getting confused, and then it clicked. "You missed you're last shot, wait doesn't it last 8 months?"

"So they say," she rolled her eyes. "Schmidt's and idiot, because he was born that way, he doesn't understand desire is just as important as everything else; otherwise you wind up with a very damaged person instead of a super soldier."

"It's more than a shot?"

"I don't want to get into all that right now, but it's sort of like desensitization," the way she said it made him think of her scars and he didn't want to get into that ever. "That doesn't matter, what matters is we can hone your skills."

"Skills?" How could that be a skill?

"It's how I do it, well did it before… well anyway this makes everything much easier. You can feel if someone's being genuine, you don't have to be able to recognize it, because you can feel it." She was pacing again, and after over a week with hardly getting anything from her, all this was a little dizzying.

"Why can I feel so much from you now?" He knew she was thinking, but the whole thing was kind of puzzling.

"I'm not 100% sure, because this is a new development," she thought for a moment. "My theory is it's partially because it's a choice, in essence I'm letting you, and the shot just creates a sort of switch as you said. You can choose to feel or not to feel, as long as you have control over your interpretation of the chemicals your brain releases. It helps I was an Empath like you, I dunno I haven't had much time to think about it, it's never happened before… it's all very recent."

"How recent?"

"We can thank Owens," she smirked at him, and he couldn't help but let his spirits lift with hers.

The next half hour was spent with her explaining about Schmidt and his grandfather who was a SS doctor, and Project Paper Clip, which was a government program bringing German scientists here after the war. She didn't get into details but the original Doctor Schmidt was involved in creating "super soldiers". Every country had a "super soldier" program, but Germany was by far the farthest along. They were apparently the farthest along with everything.

She also finally explained the temperature thing. For some reason if your body temperature was above 98 within the first 24 hours of receiving the shot then it was "bye, bye, birdie" in the most painful way imaginable apparently. He thought of the glint in her eye when she mentioned Mac. It was a lot of information to take in, and soon his eyelids were drooping.

She finished cleaning up while he went and got into bed, but not before begging her to sleep with him. He hated sleeping alone, and though it made her a little uncomfortable she conceded, knowing today was going to probably give him nightmares. As tired as he was he couldn't fall asleep until she crawled in bed with him.

He situated himself with a contented sigh and it probably looked a little strange because he was so much bigger than her, but he rested his head on her shoulder as she wrapped her arms around him. "Bambie?"

"Mmm," he acknowledge sleepily.

"I can't tell you everything all the time, it's not safe, but you're as smart as you are pretty, so I need you to be able to read me, especially me, no matter what. You need to promise you'll do the training and really try, it's more important than you know."

He blushed a little remembering the flash cards he'd flung all over her living room, "Promise."

"There's a false bottom in my suitcase," she continued. "Pull out the seam and there's a burn phone, if anything happens to me, but especially if they force the shot you call Gavin. It's the only number in there. You need to tell him I'm pretty sure the fox is in the hen house and tell him…" she trailed off unsure she wanted to say the next part, "Tell him Mac was right and it's chaos."

"I won't let them give it to you," Seth sat up horrified at the thought.

"You have to and you will," she said firmly. "Bambie, I may not be evil, but I'm not a good either. I've done things, horrible things, there's no coming back from it, but I promise you no matter what I will do everything in my power to keep you alive. If that includes giving my life then okay, it won't make up for anything, but you're worth it."

His eyes stung at her words and he didn't think he could speak. The depths of her sadness struck him just as much as her words, and he knew he couldn't take that from her, so he nodded. They were quiet for a moment, and he thought she might be done so he did his best to relax again.

"Bambie?" She waited for him to nod so he did letting her know he was still awake. "I think you should tell Roman and Dean."

He stiffened a little. It was too dangerous for them and he wouldn't put them in danger. "If this is another one of your ramblings about the mission might change…"

"Relax," she sighed. "No, though that's important too, but it's about them. They love you and care about you. It's not fair to them. You're taking something from them you can't give back. God forbid something happens to you what will that do to them? Would you want them to do that to you? Never give you a chance to say good bye? To make it right? The bad stuff doesn't matter one iota once someone's gone, trust me I know... Just think about it."

Seth hadn't thought about it that way, and no he definitely wouldn't want them to do that to him. It would haunt him forever if that something happened to one of them and things were left as they were now, but at the same time he knew if either one of them was in danger, he would drop everything to be by their side. He didn't want them to get hurt, but was it fair to take that opportunity from them, even if it was to protect them?

Protecting them was what he wanted and suddenly it felt selfish, wasn't that their decision? He would definitely want to know, no matter how dangerous it was for him, that wouldn't matter... fuck. Why was everything so complicated?

His least favorite game, the lesser of the two evils, was dancing in his head as his eyes finally closed.