"Is this the moment where I looked you in the eye? Forgive my broken promise that you'll never see me cry" Permanent – David Cook

Teach Me Tonight

Chapter 7

It is about three in the morning when you wake up. You feel dizzy, because of the alcohol, but you ignore it as best as you can. You can feel Shane besides you, strumming on his guitar. You squirm softly, and the music abruptly stops. You do not turn to him, but rather just stare at the clock. The silence continues, until he softly starts picking at the guitar strings. You do not recognize the melody, but it is beautiful. You close your eyes, your head pounding and your heart bleeding.

You open your mouth, but you do not even realize you are talking. "You know, of course, that I never had sex before you." You say, and the music stops again. He doesn't answer, so you continue. "Did you know I never kissed a boy before you? Or that I've been made fun of my entire life?" you whisper. You do not turn to him, instead you stare off into the distance. Your stomach rumbles and you feel like throwing up. You feel like…

"Why did they make fun of you?" he asks softly. You close your eyes, trying to quell the queasiness and not cry at the same time. He goes back to his guitar, softly staring up the music again when you do not answer. You bury your head in the pillow, before standing up to go to the bathroom. You lose your balance slightly and you grab the dresser harshly to maintain it. "You okay?" Shane asks alerted.

For some reason, fury runs throughout your body. You feel angry. You feel overwhelmed. "Now you care." You say as you walk to the bathroom. You do not turn back to see his reaction. You do not turn back to see him at all. You immediately close the door behind you when you step into the bathroom. Your heart clenches roughly when you notice the blood stains on the tile floor. You sit down on the toilet, cover still on, and start to cry. It hurts and you do not know how to fix it. You bring your knees up to hug them when you hear the door open. You do not face him, and you try to wipe your tears away.

Shane sighs and moves closer to you. "Why are you mad at me?" you furrow your eyebrows, wondering how he could know that, until you remember what you said in passing. He takes your silent confusion as more anger and moves so that he is in front of you. "Mitchie." He says, putting a couple fingers under your chin so that you will look at him. Even though his touch is tantalizing, you shy away from it. "Mitchie." He repeats again, shock present in his voice this time. "What the fuck is your problem?" he asks, hurt entering his voice. Anger rises within you again as you finally turn to him.

"What is my problem? What is my problem!" you repeat, screaming at him. He blinks at you, completely shocked, and you notice how disheveled he looks. His usually pristine hair is all over the place. His eyes are rimmed with bright red. "I just lost a child, Shane!" you are still yelling. He looks at you strangely, before looking away. When he speaks to you, his voice is seriously guarded.

"Did you want a baby, Mitchie?" he asks, and you furrow your eyebrows angrily. You look at him with your eyes narrowed.

"Well, considering I'm only fifteen, obviously." You say sarcastically, a bitter edge to your voice. He narrows his eyes also and puts his hand on the underside of your face. Shane makes you look at him and the two of you share a tense look. You notice he is struggling with something as his eyes are stormy. You scoff furiously. "God, do you think I was trying to get pregnant on purpose or something? So, I can show up to People and tell them Shane 'Mr. Purity' Gray got me fucking pregnant?" his look is still very guarded. "You're unbelievable." You mutter, as you get off the toilet. He closes his eyes, but his expression softens. You try to move around him, but he wraps his arms around your waist.

You know that his arms provide comfort, but you cannot let yourself be pulled in by him. "Mitchie." He says, as you leave him and go back into the bedroom. He watches you as you put clothes back on, before sighing roughly. His eyes are bright and he looks hurt. "Let's just leave." He whispers, and you finally stop moving around. You look back to him and notice how sad he seems. You look at him incredulously.

"Where? Shane, where do you want to go?" you ask, putting on your sweater swiftly. He gulps and shrugs.

"Anywhere. We can to… anywhere." He is talking, but you can hear the brokenness in his tone. You close your eyes, letting some tears fall, but do not look at him. "We can be together. You know that." He continues, almost begging you. You freeze and do not move as he comes behind you. You breathe in and close your eyes as he wraps his arms around your waist. "Look, I know it is difficult. I know that Connie doesn't want us together, but we can just run away. I wish I can get out of this life. I hate being a celebrity. Please, let's go." His voice is so vulnerable as he speaks to you, you can almost hear the tension in his voice.

It kills you completely, his vulnerability. You close your eyes, as you heart breaks, and he softly kisses your neck. His hands hug your body tighter, his warmness startling you as he rubs your stomach gently. He gasps hurt when you break away from him. The tears come rushing to your eyes as he freezes behind you, but the harsh knocking at the door break both of you out of the stupor.

"Shane! Open the goddamn door!" a voice yells furiously, and you immediately recognize it as Brown. Your breathing is violently loud as your eyes widen, but Shane continues to look painfully at you. You turn around and look at him, noticing the intense look in his eyes.

"Please." He whispers, his eyes bright as the loud knocking continues. "Let's just go." He says, as he brings a hand to your face. His touch is so warm and nice, but you back away from it. He opens his mouth shocked, and you look back at the door to look away from him. You do not know why you want, but your heart is breaking with every second. You gulp as disgust runs through your veins; you are a slut. A whore that slept with a guy after knowing him a week and became pregnant a month or so later. You hug your body tightly as his eyes harden and he looks at you in pure disbelief. The knocking suddenly stops as someone else's voice starts calling through the door.

"Michelle Lucia Torres, ¡abre esta puerta horita mismo!" your mother yells in Spanish. Shane is breathing hard, shaking as his eyes burn through you.

"You promised." He says in a soft but strong whisper. His tone is icy and bitter, as you turn around to face him. You wince at his expression. "You promised you would not hurt me. You promised you loved me." He continues, and you notice the coldness that is Shane Grey is back. Your breath gets caught in your throat and for a second, you forget the horribleness you feel inside and just want to help him.

"I do love you, Shane." You tell him, as the yelling continues. You bet that other campers are now waking up because of the noise.

He sighs and pulls you close by your waist. "Then, let's leave. Just me and you." You bite your lip and close your eyes, the loudness even more apparent. Suddenly, his lips on yours and you can feel his whole body press against yours. He pulls away slightly and talks against your lips. "Can we please just run away?" his voice is so pure and vulnerable, you manage to swallow your disgust for yourself. You let yourself be cradled by his touch.

Suddenly, you are going out the back way, running at a car parked down the small hill. You instantly remember it as the one that drove you to the hospital yesterday, and you have a horrifying thought, wondering if your blood had stained the car seats. You can still hear Brown and your mother yelling, but you try to ignore it as fear and anxiety pump within you. Your heart is beating outrageously fast as you almost slip and fall, before reaching the car door.

Shane starts the car immediately and a blast of cold air hits you harshly. You bite back a scream of surprise as you turn down the air conditioner and he races out the driveway. You cannot hear the screams anymore, but you do not know whether it's because the noise of the car or they stopped. You are still breathing hard, and you are clawing at your wrists.

You try to talk, but your throat is scratchy and rough. You clear it uncomfortably and he looks at you for a second. "Where are we even going Shane?" you ask softly, you voice still raw.

He shrugs. "Anywhere." He tells you, and you can see brightness in his eyes. Fear runs inside you and you sit up straighter in your sit.

"Well, wherever we go, at least tonight, we have to make it close." You tell him, and he furrows his eyebrows at you. You bite your lip again as you make it on the highway. He makes his way to the left lane and is going too fast, and you close your eyes.

"Shane, you've been drinking. We've been drinking." You correct yourself immediately. "I don't really want to die tonight, or get pulled over by the cops." Shane sighs and rolls his eyes, but gradually makes his way back to the right lane, going ten miles per hour slower. You sigh and start looking at signs, especially the blue ones.

"There's a Days Inn at exit 132." You turn to him as you say it, and catch his expression of disgust. He immediately shakes his head, and you raise an eyebrow. "Okay… there's a Holiday Inn at – okay, what the hell's your problem?" you say angrily as he gives you another face full of repulsion.

"Dude, find a Hilton. Or better yet, find a Marriott." He tells you, his voice dripping with superiority. You cross your arms and give him a hard look. When he notices it, he rolls his eyes. "Have you ever been to a Hilton or Marriott? Now's your chance to check one out." He says, trying to give you a charming smile, but at the same time completely drained.

"I don't want to check on out. Plus, my mom and Brown will be looking for us. The first place they will look is at those hotels. Let's just lay low tonight." You can see the realization come into his eyes and he sighs frustratedly. "Please." You add for good measure. He groans, and does not answer you. Still, you know he's going to do it. "Thanks." You whisper and he nods.

He looks at you uncertainly. "Why didn't you want to come at first?" he asks, after a while of silence. You close your eyes and look out the window. Because you feel like a whore. Because you just lost a child and had sex the very same night. Because you feel something brewing inside you that blames Shane for what happened.

"I don't know." You lie, shrugging, still not looking at him. He bites his lip and nods.

"Are you okay, Mitchie?" he asks, as he moves towards the exit. You give a strange look and shrug again. "Mitch, you just lost a child." You wince as he says those words and stay silent. "We had a fight in there. I don't know. Now we're leaving. It's kind of a lot for me. I can't imagine for a fifteen year old girl." He tells you, and it almost breaks your heart.

You don't say anything though, and he swiftly goes to the motel entrance. He is too tired to make a face or to even make you answer. You lay against the window as he parks in front of the main office. He gives you a look that tells you to stay in the car, and you nod. You close your eyes, your stomach moving around at a great pace.

It's the first time you have ever touched liquor. It was and is never your idea of fun, but it provided momentary comfort that did not last throughout the night. It gave you warmth, but so did Shane. It gave you comfort, but so did Shane. It gave you false hope, but so did Shane. You smile, and wonder if Shane is your kind of liquor. He's your addiction. Your drug.

You know you should not be here. You know your mother is probably freaking out and calling the cops, probably stating kidnapping and statutory rape. Fear bubbles inside you again, as you hold yourself tighter. You reach for your phone you packed inside you coat pocket and notice the twenty missed calls. You wonder why you didn't feel the vibrations, but shrug it away.

Mom, Mom, Caitlyn, unknown number, unknown number, Caitlyn, Mom, Mom, Camp Rock, Mom, unknown number, Mom, Mom, Mom, Mom, Caitlyn, Mom, Mom, Caitlyn, unknown number.

You read the names and number, and swallow down the bile rising in your throat. You look up and see Shane still in line behind an old lady, and press the send button on one of the numbers. When the voice hits your ears, for a second you think it is Shane, so you look up. He is still in line.

"Hello? Mitchie?" the voice says again, and you furrow your eyebrows.

"Nate?" you ask shocked. "Whoa, how did you get my number?" you hear at lot of moving around on his end, and he starts to say something, before you realize the phone is ripped from him.

"Mitchie! Where are you? Are you okay? Come back to Camp Rock this instant!" it's your mother, and you can tell she's been crying. You debate whether to just close the phone or to talk. You look up again; Shane is now talking to the woman behind the counter, pulling his hat over his eyes.

"Mom, I'm fine." You finally say, and she breathes out a sigh of relief. "I'm at a motel with Shane. I just… need to get away." You choke out, and suddenly you're crying. "Mom, it hurts. It's like I have an empty hole in my heart, and right now, the only person that can fix it is Shane." You do not know why, but what you just said sounds like a lie, even to your own ears.

"Oh, Mitchie. I know it hurts, but I can help." She pleads with you. "Come back."

You see Shane get some things from the woman, and head towards the door. "I talk to you later, Mom. Tomorrow or something. I'm fine, okay. Don't call the cops or anything. Don't do something drastic. I love you." You say, as you lean all the way back so Shane would not see you on the phone. You close the phone quickly and throw it back into your coat, as he opens the car door.

"Okay, we have room 23." He says, sighing, his eyes closing in sleepiness. You nod and watch as he gracefully enters the car.

"Why does Nate have my phone number?" you blurt out, and he looks at you strangely. "There was a bunch of missed calls from this unknown number, so I called it. It turned out to be Nate. How did he get my number?" you explain, and he bites his lip before sighing.

You can tell he doesn't want to answer, but he does anyways as you slowly trek down to your motel room. "Nate is worried about you." He whispers, not looking at you. This time you give him a strange look, and he runs a hand through his hair. "He thinks I'm taking advantage of you, so he probably stole my phone and copied your number into his phone." He confesses, as he rounds the corner, looking for a parking spot.

You nod numbly, looking for a spot also. "Why does he even care?" you ask, not looking at him.

He shrugs. "I don't know. I think he thinks I'm bringing you down. I had a bad couple months, and I was seriously out of it for a while. He thinks I'm gonna hurt you. Plus, you are younger than me." He finishes, parking the car but not taking out the keys. You wince slightly at his words, but don't say anything. He slowly gets out of the car and you follow suit.

The motel room is on the first floor and when you open it, you are immediately hit with a strong smell of cigarette smoke and sex. The bed looks slightly unmade and the bathroom light flickers. Shane turns to glare at you. "We could so be in a Hilton right now." He says, breathing out. He scrunches up his nose as he takes another whiff and you smile sadly at his antics.

His eyes soften as he looks at you, and tears start to well up in your eyes so you look away. He can see your depression. He can see your confusion. You softly close the door, trapping the two of you in this room. You look around as to not look at him, and notice there is only one bed. "This is crazy." You whisper under your breath, not even really meaning to say it out loud.

"What?" he asks, coming closer to you. You gulp, and start unbuckling your coat. What? You are fifteen and sleeping with an eighteen year old. You do not know why, but it's like it just hit you. Before, it was like a dream. It was a summer fling, as much as you argued with him not to be. Now it's not. Now it is serious. Now you are giving it all away for him. Is it worth it? Betraying your mother like this? Leaving everything behind?

"I don't know." You lie, trying to smile. He narrows his eyes at you, and tilts his head. His hair covers his eyes a bit, and you suck in your breath. God, he's so beautiful. He is everything you ever wished for. Everything you've ever dreamt of, literally. So why do you feel this way? Why the sudden change?

"I'm the master of fake smile and lies, Mitchie. I thought we were passed the ambiguity." He says sternly, reaching for you. His hands grip your hips roughly, and you drop your hands from the buttons of your coat. "Don't lie to me." He orders gently, coming close to your face. "Tell me how you feel." He tells you, rubbing your arms up and down.

You raise your head to look at the ceiling to stop the tears from falling. "I was supposed to be twenty five. Me and my friend Sierra had planned it out. We would find guys and get married at twenty. Then, at twenty five, we would have a child." You confess, still looking at the ceiling. He bites his lip and grips your hips again.

"The naïve thinking of two school girls." He says, running his hand through your hair gently. You scoff hurtfully, and jerk away from his touch. You step away from him, and he glares at you.

"Jerk." You chide him. He rolls his eyes, and moves towards you. His hands go back around your waist. "I tell you how I feel, and you make fun of me." You say hurtfully, pushing his hands away.

He sighs. "You didn't tell me how you felt. You told me what was supposed to happen. Are you sad that you lost it? Or you happy because now it doesn't interfere with your plans?" he asks, fighting for words. You finally look at him, eyes flashing with anger.

"How can someone be happy they had a miscarriage?" you say, your voice raised. Suddenly, you remember why you didn't want to look at him. His eyes penetrate your soul, and you immediately look away. He sighs and puts a hand under your chin. You fight with him, stubbornly not turning your head.

"Look at me, Mitchie." He orders, his tone harsh.

"Oh, don't act like a fucking celebrity with me, Shane!" you snap at him, still glaring at the chair beside you. He scoffs angrily. For a second, you think he will press up against you or something. Instead, he leaves you. You are immediately hit with the cheap cold air conditioner and you gasp. He strides across the room, taking off his jacket, before taking off his shirt, throwing them on the bed.

Your eyes trace his muscles on his body to his stomach. "I'm…" you choke out, and he freezes. He doesn't look at you, but continues to look at the bed. "I'm so… hurt and I don't know why." You confess softly, sliding down the door. You hug your legs tightly, burying your head in your knees. He stays quiet and instead of going to you like you wished, he goes to the bathroom. You close your eyes and let some tears fall, as you hear the shower turn on.

He turns off the flickering light in the bathroom and comes back out. You give him a confused look, as you hear the water hit the bottom of the bath loudly. He comes over to you and goes on his knees. His hands push your coat away, and you hesitantly take it off yourself. When you do, he immediately pulls your shirt off, your hair going all over the place. He stands back up and holds out a hand to pull you up. You take it and let him guide you to the bathroom.

He closes the door after you come in, and turns back to you. He unbuttons your pants and you move your hips so that they fall to the ground. Shane kisses your shoulder, before undoing your bra. You pull on his pants, before unbuckling them. He quickly takes them off, along with his boxers. When the two of you are totally naked, he pulls you in the shower in complete darkness.

You try to squint to see him, but you can only see his outline. Suddenly, the burning hot water hits your back and you gasp loudly. Shane sighs as the water hits him also, and he pulls you close to him. Your bodies press up against each other as the water goes into your eyes. Your bangs grow heavy and stuck to your face. He brings himself closer to you, and your lips brush against each other.

The fact that you can barely see each other opens something up inside of you. You feel like screaming, but you don't. Confidence grows inside you, until the words blurt out of your mouth. "Why did you try to commit suicide?" you ask, and he tenses. He breathes out hard against your mouth.

"You know how you feel right now? Hurt and you don't even know why? That's how I felt." He tells you, as he grips your hips roughly. "Except, I didn't have anyone to go to. I didn't have anyone to help me." He says, rubbing your sides. His hands slip down to your lower hips, and the confidence still soars inside you.

"Norah? Wasn't she your girlfriend?" you say, remembering the million articles that littered your room. He laughs sardonically.

"Oh, that bitch." He says, as his hands massage your upper thigh gently. Tantalizingly. "When I met her, my manager introduced her to me as my girlfriend. I hate that. I hate that I've become another poster boy that does everything the label tells him to do. So, I rebelled. I treated her horribly to the point that she had to break up with me. I don't really know if I could go to her actually." He tells you as you close your eyes, breathing hard. He softly moves his hand around your inner thigh. "I never actually paid any attention to her." He says slowly.

"She looked cool. She's one of my favorite artists, even after you started dating her. Most of my friends despised her after you were seen with here. She writes all her songs too." You add breathily, as you lean against the shower wall. The hot water trickles down your front as he soothingly kneads your inner thigh. You can hear him groan.

"Don't remind me. She'll probably write a song about me to get publicity." He mutters, leaning against you, so that your bodies press up again. You shiver and jump when his fingers flicker your sex lightly. He smirks against your skin as he puts his head on your shoulder.

"I don't wanna have sex." You blurt out and he turns to you. You bite you lip, resisting the urge to smack your head. "Sorry. I didn't mean that. We can have sex." You fake a smile, even though he cannot see you.

"No. it's okay. We shouldn't anyways." He tells you, and his hands go away from your lower body. You groan as the confusion kills you. You don't want him, yet you do. Maybe, you just want to feel loved. You put your hand on his neck, and pull him close. You kiss him briefly before pulling away. "I love you."

You resist the urge to gasp. Your eyes widen, and you bite your lip. "I love you too, Shane."