1000 hits! That's awesome. This chapter's longer than the others, but the next one's probably gonna be back to short. Thanks for the reviews!!

Disclaimer: Don't own House. Househousehousehousehouse.


Foreman was the first to recover. "Fine. 'Night."

"Bye." Cameron said. Chase just stood there, until she steered him away as well.

As soon as they had rounded the corner, Wilson squared his shoulders. "All right, House, tell me what's going on."

"And then I suppose we'll have a pillow fight, read each others diaries, and raid the cookie jar, thus making it the perfect girl's night out."

"You forgot the soppy movie."

"This is a soppy movie."

"Let's stop."

"Yes."

"Back to the point."

"No."

"House..." Wilson knew the routine. And was getting extremely fed up with it. "You're like a stubborn child. Can't we just skip this part?" He knew if he gave up now, though, he'd never find out what happened. Damn curiosity.

"We could skip this part...in fact, why don't we skip this altogether?" Wilson thought about it.

"Because I love hearing how you've made a mess of things," he said after a moment.

House fell silent. He wanted to skip the routine too. Desperately. He needed his best friend's advice. Then again...his best friend had been married three times. Then again...he'd managed a date with Cuddy. Then again...this was getting to confusing. "Listen, you don't always have to be that guy. Be the House you were when I met you. I know you're dying to ask me what to do."

House snorted. "Yeah, just dying to ask what the thrice married, two and a half times divorced guy how to get a girlfriend. Cause you're good like that."

Wilson raised an eyebrow. "Two and a half times divorced?"

"Next time promise me you'll break up with all of her," House said, motioning towards his left shoe, which was still chewed up from the time he'd had to take care of Hector. "But we were talking about me, don't change the subject."

"I thought you said you didn't want my advice?"

"Well...I like talking about me."

"Of course. That's it." House said nothing, just stared at Wilson. Wilson moaned. "Oh, no, not the puppy eyes...you know I can't stand the puppy eyes..." House continued to stare at him. "House, for god's sake..." House widened his eyes a bit more. "This is terrible. You know that? You're a terrible person." Wider. "House!" Just a little longer... "Fine. What do you want?" Works every time.

"How does Lisa feel about all this?"

"What the -- how should I know?! You've haven't even told me what's happened!"

"Nothing happened. She said she was over me."

"She said she was over you."

"Yes, she said she was over me."

"She's so not over you."

"But she said she was."

"But she's lying."

"She called me Greg."

"See?"

"Just once."

"Once is enough."

"Then it was back to House."

"I call you House."

"Yes, but you're not in love with me. I hope. Because that would be awkward."

Wilson shrugged. "What can I say? You being the charming man you are..."

"...You aren't going to help me with this, are you?"

"Not a chance."

"But you just said she was still in love with me!"

"Yes, I did." House glared at him. "Well, what am I supposed to do? Just tap her with my little fairy wand and make her admit she's in love?"

"That would be good."

"She's a strong, intelligent, stubborn woman, House. You won't be able fool her."

"That's okay, because I don't want to fool her."

"Oh, yeah, because she likes you just the way you are."

"Who doesn't?"

"Oy gevalt."

"Right, I see your point. She's Jewish. They are stubborn. Hm."

"We've gotten absolutely nowhere. This is depressing."

"I don't know about you, but I'm going to go look up some internet porn." House turned to leave.

"It'll be awkward tomorrow you know!" he said loudly, hoping House heard him.

House turned around, a mischievous look in his eyes. "I'll try my best," he said.

"Okay -- wait, what does that mean?" House shut the door with a slam. "House?! What does that mean?!"


I like this dialogue a lot actually. Yay! Please review!