Queen's Gambit, Book 1 - "Gone with the Sun"

Chapter 16 And now


Baby don't go

Beyond tired, Miranda left the sterile area, leaned back against the bulkhead, closed her eyes and exhaled, long and slowly. After a few seconds she looked up, started, and suppressed a squeal. Chloe Michel stood before her, arms folded, a mischievous glint in her eye.

"Where the hell did you learn to move like that?"

"In hell, or a reasonable facsimile thereof. Courtesy the turian you threatened to kill a few hours ago."

"Sorry about that. I had absolutely no idea where he had come from, still less his intentions. If he hadn't been with you and–"

"Shh!"

"Did I miss something?"

"Hackett and Hannah want her to disappear. Again. Never existed."

"Seriously? Anyway, I'd probably have biffed him off the platform with a biotic slam. Wouldn't have killed him though."

Miranda began to methodically strip her disposable garments, and donned some fairly shapeless Alliance-issue fatigues. "If you don't mind my asking Doctor, what exactly are you doing here?" They headed out towards the commissary and approached the service VI.

"They want you to disappear too."

"Uh oh."

"Mostly though they want you for something special. They wouldn't tell me what. Or even that it was something special, but I can read the signs."

"I'm not going to like this, am I? Coffee please, black no sugar."

"Green tea, thank you. Coats and Hackett also want Jennifer Null and Kahlee Sanders with your team, but mostly they want you and the biotic from hell out of Dodge, as Hackett put it."

"Jack? No way. Sanders, I suppose I could find a place. But I've just spent weeks getting my team the way I want it!"

"I sympathize. I really do. I've had to disengage from day-to-day operations at Huerta Memorial. Hackett said if we don't vanish, our lifespans will be short and he will lose the last of his hair."

"Eh? That's not good."

"True. But Shepard mère said bald men are sexy."

Miranda sneezed into her coffee. "Damn you, that was unfair. And it's not what I meant. If he's ripping you away from Huerta at this time things must be serious." She grabbed some tissues and made for a table to clean up.

"I'm just going to have to trust my staff. Actually what Hannah said was 'You've already got hot older women writing you creepy fan mail, including two asari matriarchs, don't encourage them.'"

"Oh God. Look, seriously, people want you dead?"

"Something to do with frustrating certain black market ambitions."

"Dear me. Poor babies. Did Garrus Vakarian have anything to do with this?"

"Er… Garrus, Bailey, and some gun for hire called Massani."

"Zaeed! How many died?" Miranda finished with her coffee, swallowing about half the small cup in one gulp. They began to return to the Special Trauma Unit.

"Garrus wouldn't tell me. Anyway, in the medium term I'm out of the news. I'm supposed to take over from you, here. That means you have to tell me everything you can about the technical solutions developed by Project Lazarus."

"They can't do this to me!" wailed Miranda.

"Lawson. Miranda." Chloe leaned forward. "Does this have to be about you?"

"There is no way to communicate everything we painfully learned during Lazarus."

"Officially, I'm now the Orizaba's Chief Medical Officer. The excuse is that Huerta's a wreck and needs a special team during emergency repairs."

"Still not happening. I don't have the manual since I quit Cerberus, for one thing."

"We'll start our own manual."

"Well, let's disregard how I might feel about it. It would take me weeks to try and recapitulate two years of research, and dammit there's bound to be something I'd miss."

"I will undertake to provide ten reams of A4 lined paper."

"Chloe, you're not listening to me! Why should I tell you anything?" They reached the door and she stopped. "Wait, that was a joke… right?"

Dr Michel opened the outer door. They began to divest and put on disposable steriles.

"There is hope for you yet. Miranda, telling someone else surely can't hurt."

"Yes it can. The powers that be would have an excuse to boot me off the case. That would be a very bad idea."

"Can we induce a coma?"

"Of course, the implants are trashed, it's already done – why am I telling you this?"

"Um… because Steven and Hannah say so?"

"Look, there's no way I can tell you or anyone else everything I know, most of that stuff is a matter of recognition not learning."

"If you don't, none of what you might plan will happen. I and just two assistants am now in charge of his treatment and I won't know what I'm doing."

"I've been there before, it will come back to me, but I can't organize it in advance."

"I understand perfectly." Chloe finished and opened the first inner isolation door.

"Good."

"We will have to do our best without you." The second door.

"No! That's not going to – " Miranda registered who was on the other side.

"Ms Lawson. Doctor."

"Admiral Shepard! Chakwas! You can't be in here!"

"Actually, Miranda, I was just about to say the same of you."

There was a brief silence during which Miranda played her words back to herself.

"Admiral, Karin, I'm so sorry, I just don't think we're at the point yet where I can let him out of my sight."

"I see. Doctor Michel, your team composed the trauma report. Your assessment?"

"Admiral, he has third degree burns to left hand side of his face, and second degree burns to forty percent of the rest of him, multiple fractures including of the right femur but I'm more worried about the strange hairline longitudinal cracks. Implants are completely burned out with concomitant effects on pain and touch receptors. The retinal taps will have to be completely rebuilt, MRI and CAT show something's happened to the heavy weave on his bones and that's barely hitting the highlights."

"Oh dear."

"On the up side, PET picks up no implants whatsoever under the pia mater, whatever burned him out didn't get to the central nervous system."

"Good. Nothing was visible of his face except some hair. "

"Ah. Well, in terms of cosmetic appearance it will be months before we even finish grafts. Miranda is relying on synthflesh which is a good medium term solution but will impose scarring if a transition to self-flesh isn't begun and quickly."

"Nonetheless, Doctor, he looks much improved. In the sense that finally there's a stable pulse."

"Karin, that's Miranda's doing – " But the Admiral broke in:

"We need, and I do emphasize that word, Ms Lawson on other duties."

Miranda began to panic. If she was fired from Shepard's care anything could happen. "But you could lose him!"

The Admiral turned to her again. "Yes. I understand that. I've had many years to get used to the idea that I might have to give up my son."

Karin spoke up: "Do please work with Dr Michel on this, Miranda."

Miranda sighed. "I can do that… Chloe? How long do I have?"

"Around two weeks, I think, Miranda. I understand you will be back in time for the next stage. We need to concentrate on those parts of the recovery process which we can handle now. On the other hand if you don't come back we need an overview."

"Whoever's taking notes will have to be up to the state of the art, and quick, to get the fundamentals down over such a short period."

"Michel, Chakwas, and perhaps one other are the personnel you've got. Two weeks is the time we can give you. Resupply and repair will take that long. Hackett thinks your next jobs might be extraordinarily dangerous. That's one thing you should know."

"I understand. He thinks I might not be back to help."

"Right. Here's another. It was hard to decide to let you try again. It's difficult to see the level of pain he's had to endure, over and above the call of duty. I do not want the love every mother bears her child to mount him on a cross of everlasting pain. Don't let him suffer needlessly. Do you understand me?"

"Perfectly."

"On the other hand, he'd want your discoveries known for the use of others. So try."

"Yes… ma'am." She looked at the two doctors. "Shall we get started?"

"Ms Lawson. There's more." She turned back. "About the other patient. It has a bearing on my decision too."

Miranda's cheeks began to burn with shame as she covered her eyes. The Admiral stepped forward, and cupped her hands under her chin. "Look at me, please. I have been briefed on what happened. Now why should I put my son's life in such hands?"

Miranda desperately fought the urge to shuffle her feet. "That doesn't sound like a rhetorical question. I suppose… because I've done it before?"

"Correct. But I will give you another answer. If she can forgive you, I can too. Besides, apparently there was something you didn't know."

"Yes." Miranda looked down, locked her fingers to stop them fidgeting. "Goto says they had a thing going. Shep told her to stay under the radar. Even I couldn't find her."

"Just so. But that's not all. Karin?"

"Dr Michel asked me to check something. I had to ensure the patient gave a urine sample and blood tests before she went under anaesthetic, anyway. She would appear to be around seven weeks pregnant."

Miranda had seen this coming. Not generally given to regrets, she nonetheless sighed a great sigh. "Admiral, why do you want me anywhere near your son?"

"Karin, Chloe, would you see to the invalids please? Actually, Karin, I will meet you in the ward shortly."

"Yes ma'am." "Certainly."

In twelve seconds, they were alone.

"Do not look so sad, Ms Lawson. A great many people, including my son, would not be alive if you were other than the way you are. Sit."

Miranda sat.

"To answer your question, Ms Lawson, will require breaking some confidences."

"Oh?"

"First, can I say that I thoroughly approve of you."

"Really?"

"And so, I gather, did John."

"Perhaps."

"You two had a thing going on well before your victim smiled at him."

Another sigh. The Admiral rested a thoughtful, but not hostile, gaze on Miranda, and got to the point in a rapid-fire exchange:

"John wrote about you."
"Did he? We sure had a wonderful time."
"I think he might have been in love."
"I'd like to think so. I certainly was. Am. But Shepard…"

And there it was, in the open. Hannah nodded slowly:

"…Couldn't permit himself that sort of sentiment?"

"Not so it showed. Anyway, after the asteroid strike on the Alpha relay, Shep was under a cloud. We had to cry off. In my case, literally."

"We know," said Hannah grimly. "That cost him too, you realize."

"Seriously? No-one on Shepard's combat triad was indispensable, even himself. Even me. That was love?"

"What's love got to do with it?"

"I left Cerberus for him."

"I think you picked a side, and a commander."

"He'd never leave the fleet for me."

"John doesn't have to. You never asked him. Will you?"

"No. True. I'd be petrified he'd say no. He might for Kelly, maybe."

"I can't see her asking that of him, either."

"You sure about that, Admiral? I get the impression you know her better than me."

"Sufficient unto the day is the evil thereof. Ms Lawson, don't get hung up on what John might do."

"Oh please. I've still sent people to die. I couldn't send your son."

"Miranda, that just tells me you're not a professional soldier, although god knows I can't think of many who could best you in battle."

"Well…Harper insisted love was futile. Any squadmate, like any other soldier, might be expended as bait or left to a terrible death; all you can do is remember them."

"And he's your role model? Get a grip, Ms Lawson. Sending people where they can die is a choice inherent in the profession of arms, and sometimes they're soulmates. At least for a mixed-gender army, and even in some monogendered outfits like the Theban Sacred Band, dying to a man against Alexander. But resistance is never futile."

"Still…"

"Nor is love. I loved John's father. I think he loved me."

"Er, Anderson and Hackett– "

Hannah waved Miranda to silence:

"Hackett… well he can speak for himself, but even I personally have had to send special friends in harm's way, not least the woman you laid low. Another died."

"I'm sorry –"

"Don't be. Just remember, a broken heart doesn't necessarily make you a worse soldier. A burden of guilt might, so don't second-guess fate, and don't write off his feelings for you. No, let me finish. John was, like you, constrained by events after Aratoht. He was held incommunicado for months, until the Reapers struck. And after that he couldn't find you for a long time."

Miranda shook her head. "I didn't want to be found."

"Well then… Waited too long?"

"That's right, but… there was more to it. There was family I had to… take care of."

"Hm. I can tell you that John did locate his yeoman, as with his engineers – regs required that he write that up in the ship's log. John found her before finding you."

"Actually he was there for me at the end. We did properly catch up – eventually. And we all had one final wonderful party, except Chakwas couldn't come. That was just before he, EDI, and Ash took out the main Cerberus base."

"We heard about the party, Miranda. Kahlee Sanders was scandalized by the litter."

"And of course 'Hannigan' wasn't partying. I thought she was dead, but now…"

"Lieutenant Moreau said she wasn't invited. 'It was like she was an unperson.' Since she wouldn't return to Normandy, John took other steps to ensure her safety. So far as anyone knew, she died in the Cerberus coup – the Normandy log, when decrypted, even says John overheard Donnelly and Daniels discussing rumors of her demise."

"What, and he didn't correct them? Huh. The man can keep secrets. Admiral, are you worried I might take John away? Or rather, back?"

"Not exactly. It's true she does not have your unique charisma and drive. She's no kind of warrior. Not a biotic goddess, not a genius nor a heroine spectre. Just an ordinary girl–"

"Hah!"

"– yet, I know John was torn. So 'hah', indeed. She's a very good clinical psychologist, I think. She has, by all reports, other qualities."

"That warm chameleon presence. I should've known better."

"Never mind. EDI copied Hackett some of the surveillance material from the Cerberus base, including archived video logs. She was tapped for the position of yeoman, along with other 'sympathetic characters', expressly to keep him 'invested.'"

"Right. She was appointed directly by the Illusive Man. Why didn't I pick that up? Right under my nose."

"Don't be so hard on yourself. Others missed it too. Chloe says 'Nothing special at all,' is how she describes herself when she's trying to blend in. The fact is, though, your friend Liara showed us something… the Alliance and the old Shadow Broker had compiled dossiers on many of his known associates."

"Was she mentioned?"

"No. We'll get on to her dealings with the Alliance when Steven gets here, but Kelly Chambers was never listed as a known associate, so the Shadow Broker's intelligence was imperfect–"

"Masterly understatement."

"– but the Broker did get copied your examination by that Illium clinic."

"Oh no."

"Oh, yes. No-one thinks you will try and steal him, Miranda. Why should you? Besides, to make John happier, I think this slip of a girl would softly and silently vanish away."

"With her child."

"Yes."

"I should go."

"Conversely, if you leave, John would go looking for you. Please don't go."


Next chapter will be #17, "Find directions out…"


Friday, July 17, 2015