One of the things I loved about being pregnant was how I would wake up to Kendall singing quietly while he brushed his hand over my now undeniably pregnant belly or hear him talking to it when he thought I'd fallen asleep. After our fight a month ago, he'd come home, held me in his arms, insisting that it had been his fault and how sorry he was even though I knew I'd caused it. My emotional monster didn't get any better, if anything it got worse. I was now able to get upset over the littlest things and it took next to nothing to get me to cry. My back was aching and my feet hurt after walking normal distances that wouldn't have bothered me had I not been pregnant.
I was secretly embarrassed to go to public events with him and the guys, seeing all of the other women with perfect bodies. It was only a reminder of what I used to be and I knew that I could never be exactly like I was. People were always telling him how radiant and healthy I looked but I couldn't help but wonder.
I had talked to Camille, who admitted how jealous she was of me.
"How can you be jealous of this? I threw up for three months, I'm gaining weight steadily, I'm always tired, and my back hurts like a mother." She smiled and shook her head.
"You don't get it though. Being a father has always appealed to Kendall and Carlos… even James. Logan's only plans were to be a doctor and… We had talked about it briefly last week and he said he wasn't sure having kids fit into his life." I saw the tears start to collect in her eyes and I did my best to hug her with my round belly in the way.
"Camille, did you tell him that you want kids? He's probably saying that because you've been busy with your acting lately. He'd rethink that if you told him."
She shrugged, focusing her gaze on a picture frame as Kendall, Carlos, and James came in from the gym; Logan was at work.
"Hey, Jace. You ready to go?" Kendall asked, walking over to help me up.
We had our five month check-in today and despite the usual nervousness I had, I was excited. We would be able to find out the baby's gender and we'd both agreed that we wanted to know. James and Carlos were making bets and Logan had predicted that I was having a girl by the way I was carrying. I knew Kendall wanted a little girl, after helping practically raising Katie; it was easier for him… even if he was a guy. As for myself, I didn't really care what it was, as long as it was healthy.
He gave me a quick kiss on my temple, wrapping his arm around my waist as we left the house. He opened my door for me as usual and made sure I was comfortable before getting in himself and pulling out of the large garage.
After a few minutes, he spoke up. "Are you as nervous as I am?"
I shrugged, resting my hand over his on the gear shift. "I just want this baby to be healthy. You don't need to be nervous."
He glanced over at a red light and smiled, his dimples showing. "I asked my mom if she wanted to be there too because I know that you would have wanted your mom to be there, and she's the closest thing you have to a mom now."
I blinked back the tears, reminded of how my mom wasn't able to watch this baby grow and live, thankful that I had at least Kendall's mom. She practically raised me while I was growing up with Kendall, taking over full responsibility when my mother died. Kendall noticed my slight upset and became worried.
"Is… Is that okay?" I smiled through my tear-filled eyes and nodded.
"It's absolutely fine. Thank you for this, really."
"Katie said she'll try to get out of class early to be there, I know you two talked about it. I asked the guys but they wanted to be surprised later and Camille has to go to work about now so…"
"Kendall, relax. You're babbling again. It'll be okay, I promise," I reassured him, leaning up to kiss his cheek quickly as we pulled into the parking lot of the doctor's office. He had been stressing himself out lately, worried that he wasn't doing enough or that he wouldn't be a good father. He was constantly reminded of his own father, who'd left them when he was 8, when he looked in the mirror. He had his father's dirty blonde hair, lively green eyes, and his dimples. He gained his height and lanky build from him too. He hated leaving me on nights that the guys wanted to go out to the rink or to the steak house and I was too tired or not feeling well enough to go. Kendall quite easily shifted the focus of his world from music, hockey, and me to just me and our child. Everything he did, he took us into consideration and as much as I tried, I couldn't get him to take a little time for himself.
"Mr. and Mrs. Knight?" We heard the doctor's assistant say our names and we headed back along with Mama Knight, who had gotten there just a few minutes after us.
"Katie just texted me and she's on her way," she told us quietly as we entered the small room. Kendall took up his normal spot beside the table and his mother stood beside him, her hand on his shoulder. The doctor did her normal routine of asking my symptoms and things I'd been feeling.
She was just about to start the ultrasound when Katie came in, smiling apologetically. "Hey, guys. I'm here." She walked over beside her mom and grinned down at me and Kendall, who was holding my hand tightly.
"Okay, let's see what we have here," the doctor said, putting the ultrasound hand thing on my stomach and moving it around, studying the monitor closely. "You're progress beautifully, Mrs. Knight. The baby looks great. It has real hair growing, it's lungs are growing, and, as I'm sure you know, we're able to tell the baby's gender. Would you guys like to know?" I looked at Kendall who smiled and nodded, kissing my cheek adoringly.
She smiled knowingly and glanced back up. "You're having a little girl. Congratulations."
Kendall was practically glowing with happiness as he pulled me into a hug and turned to his mom as Katie rushed over to me. "Yay!" she squealed in my ear. "I get a niece to spoil," she grinned and kissed my cheek.
This chapter sucks, I am so sorry. I hope you liked it though. Reviews Please, they help. Please check out Surfergal23's story Hooked. Its amazing. Also, go read waterWicca's story Past the Sorrow. They're amazing. Please go read and review my other stories. I love you all!
