Once more a big THANK YOU to chodofaggins, without your help this would still be messed up by my mistakes :)
ALSO! New Chapter guys :) Hope you enjoy it
Chapter 7
John
He wouldn't make the same mistake twice, and that's why he told one of his men, who was standing watch, to go bring Deputy Hudson back to her room. John wouldn't join them, somehow he knew Emily would keep fighting. She would try to escape again probably, even if that meant leaving her partner behind.
Funnily enough, she reminded him of Joseph. Both were so certain. Certain of their importance. With a deep knowledge that what they did was right thing. How could the truth of two people be so opposite. And why did John feel like he was caught in the middle of it.
He couldn't let anyone know about his thoughts. If Joseph knew how he felt… But with a shudder, John brushed his thoughts off and entered back into the room with Emily.
The small laughter that had escaped his mouth apparently wasn't audible enough since Emily still continued tugging at the ropes. ''Confession is the admission of one's sins.'' His voice had startled her so much that fell over in with her chair. This only added to his amusement. ''Our souls…need to confess. By looking deep within ourselves, by exposing the darkness inside us…'' He hadn't fully entered the room yet, which caused Emily to tilt her head around, trying to get sight of him. ''We free our souls from the burden of their sin. That is what I'm offering.''
John didn't want to force himself on her. He wanted her to give in. No, he wanted to help her. He didn't want to hurt her. ''So I will save you, Emily. I will help you lift that burden. I will help you confess.'' He slowly strolled up to her, still lying on the ground, bound to the chair, unable to break free. ''And I will pass no judgement on you. No matter how messy it gets.'' Once he was in front of her, he kneeled down to look her in the eyes. ''All you have to say…is 'Yes.'''
''Things could be worse, you know… Here, you just have to confess. In the east…well, let's just say too much Bliss can go to one's head.'' Thinking about a blissed mind caused a disgusted look to appear on his face. ''Faith created her 'Angels' but never did treat them all that well…'' He stood up, walking away from her again, deep in thoughts… Faith's 'Angels' really creeped him out. He never quite understood why, but he always felt like…like he knew what they were going through… He felt like a fallen angel. And that made him feel uneasy.
Emily pulled him out of his thoughts. She had somehow managed to break free from the chair, and, with a mumbled growl, she darted at him in a pathetic attempt of an attack. She was still too weak to be of any danger to him, and he swirled her around easily crashing them both against a nearby wall. Her head collided with a clunk. John pinned her against the wall with his whole body, capturing her wrist with his hands at shoulder height. She was intoxicating with all her emotions, so raw, so clear.
As he looked her in the eyes, he understood. He could see it now. ''Ah. I know your sin.'' He smiled knowingly at her with emotion filled eyes. ''It drives you. Every thought, every action.'' But what gleamed through heavily was pure passion, anger-filled passion. ''Your sin is Wrath.'' He had to laugh at that. Of course her sin was a strong one. And he knew just how to make her see the danger of it. ''So I'll indulge you: Become Wrath. Let it fill your body and consume your soul. Because in the end, you'll still be empty. And I'll be waiting right here, with you.'' Without thinking about it nor intending to, he caressed her cheek with his, in an intimate gesture. ''Bathe in your sin…so that you may see how futile your actions are.''
Emily
And with that, John let go of your wrists and stepped away from you. He had caught you off guard, caressing you like that and then setting you free? Why would he do that? You didn't understand his intentions but did the only thing your throbbing head could focus on. You got rid of the duck tape and darted towards him. He was now kneeling on the ground, like in surrender. What is he doing?
Without thinking about it further, you pushed him to the ground and leaned over him, bringing a fist down on his smirking face.
''Your sin consumes you. Blinds you to all the harm you inflict.'' He looked at you knowingly and ready for whatever you had coming for him. Using the last of your strength, you punched him again. You had almost no strength left, but you had to keep going. No matter how much your body ached, no matter the throbbing pain which was all you could feel.
''It allows you to dispense of human life so…easily.'' He had you… You didn't know how, but he had gotten to you. Your fists were now only connecting with his chest, and he still endured your breakdown. ''Have you ever given so much as a second thought to killing?'' John dared to ask. ''H-have you?'' Your reply came out as a croaked out mixture of disbelieve and exhaustion. And you saw him falter. Like he knew you were right, and he looked almost ashamed but didn't respond to you.
Tears had been rolling down your cheeks the whole time, since all of this was all too much for both your mind and body to handle. John irritated you deeply. First, he was so sure of himself and his 'task' but apparently not anymore. His eyes grew softer over time and by now were filled with sorrow. He seemed so vulnerable. You head was killing you. And, as you collapsed on him, John carefully caught you in a warm embrace. You were so confused. How could he be so tender and cruel to you? Which was his true self? Was Joseph too deep within John's head, or was John creeping in to yours.
John
Peace? Love? Was that it? He couldn't label what he felt, and his heart couldn't decide either. It was racing in excitement and…lust? It pounded so heavily, as if it struggled not to burst into pieces. He couldn't remember ever having felt that way. And he didn't know if he liked it or not, but he sure as hell wouldn't let go of Emily. All he could do was hold her tight in a soft embrace.
And it dawned upon him. Again.
''Stay with me,'' He whispered faintly. ''Please.'' He was scared for what she would reply. He knew she wouldn't join them, but that wasn't his intention here. Not anymore. He needed her. And he would do everything in his power to keep her. ''Not Joseph, not the cult. Just…me.''
Cautiously, he turned them around, so he was now laying on top of her. He needed to see her face. He was so anxious. He could tell there was something between them, the chemistry and passion was undeniable. But he was afraid that he might have already pushed her too far away. His sadistic ways, how he treated others, his religious madness… He felt like for the first time he could see clearly. She had seen him as a monster, and he understood that now. How much he had done wrong, and he wanted her to see something good in him. Something worth loving.
But John could clearly see the confusion in her eyes, and he couldn't blame her. This was all really messed up, and even he was able to see that. He was also confused. Joseph had showed him a righteous path, or so he thought. He wasn't so certain anymore. He was bound to Emily; they shared the same impulses and were undeniably attracted to each other. But they couldn't have been more opposite at the same time. Good and evil, pure and tainted. Loved and hated…
He felt utterly ashamed. His whole life, he'd been convinced that his family was right. That Joseph had given him purpose, that he was meant to be this… what was he? He was lost. And a traitor. All alone. Emily would never choose him, believe him or see anything good within him. And if Joseph knew how unstable he was, in his loyalty, in his believe… That he might have even lost his Faith… That would be the end of him.
He could feel himself tearing up, overwhelmed by emotions. Struggling with himself. But he wouldn't let Emily see. And he wouldn't let her get caught up in his mess. He knew what he had to do. But first he would say his goodbyes. So he kissed her. How he had longed to do that. Ever since he first saw her in the chapel. He could swear she kissed him back, but it didn't matter anymore. He had made his mind up. So he pulled away from her and knocked her out.
A tear was now fighting it's way down his cheek as he ruefully smiled at her. ''I'm sorry.''
Before he would get her away from here, he would give her a hint of what he struggled with. He knew how crazy this was, but still he had to. It was his way of dealing with shit. And since he couldn't talk to her, she would have to figure it out for herself…
He had tattooed on her enchained praying hands, and he hoped she would understand. Then, he picked her up bridal style and carried her out of the room. He would take her somewhere safe. Away from him.
Emily
Ouch… What the…? Your head was killing you. You kept your eyes closed due to all the pain, and you guessed you probably had a mild concussion, or that was a real vivid messed up dream. John's men had caught you and he… He was about to torture you but then…you made out? ''Ugh.''
No way.
You grew stiff immediately, as you heard steps approaching you. You still didn't knew where you were but definitely needed rest and weren't up for more insanity. ''Jeez kid, c'mon. You gotta wake up at some point.'' Dutch? You opened your eyes carefully, as if that would have any influence on what you were about to see.
It really was Dutch, standing there before you. His worried eyes fixed on you. ''How..?'' You tried to start, but Dutch pulled you in a bear hug. ''Uff… Air Dutch. Need. Air!'' You struggled, as he finally released you with a relieved laugh. ''Sorry, kiddo. This is all just so fucked up. What the hell happened? Why'd John bring you here. How'd ya…'' He barraged, but you stopped him right there. ''John did what?'' You must have heard wrong. But then, Dutch told you everything.
You had arrived on his island a couple of hours ago. Brought to Dutch by John. Personally. He had perviously called him to let him know John was dropping you off here and that Dutch should take care of you. And what had freaked Dutch out the most was that John really did drop you off. John himself. He had apparently carried you to Dutch personally.
''But the strangest part was him kissing you goodbye! Kid, what happened between you two? The Fuck is going on? I'm losin' my mind here.''
You felt like fainting. So it wasn't a dream, it all really happened. You trembled and had no answer for Dutch. You were just as lost as him. ''I'm gonna need a minute here, Dutch. Sorry.''
As you tried to get up, you felt a sharp pain on the front of your upper thigh. It was a unknown kind of pain, so you decided to take a look. As you pulled your jeans down a bit, you saw a newly inked tattoo. ''Let's make that an hour…'' You stared at it in disbelief, as you sat back down again. Obviously, Dutch had a million questions and you couldn't blame him for it, but you needed to clear your head first.
What did all of this mean? Why the hell did he…everything? Kiss you, tattoo you, care...? You were at a total loss which Dutch probably realized by now, since he offered you something to eat and some silence. He just sat before you waiting somewhat patiently, as you prepared yourself to tell him. You told him everything that had happened, everything you could remember.
Once you finished, Dutch seemed even more confused than you. ''Jeez, kid… I mean-fuck.''
''I know." You thought about why John tattooed you, because that seemed like maybe that could be the easiest part to solve. Why this motive? It clearly must have some meaning. You had to clean it, for you to get a better look at it since it was a bit blood-stained.
Yeah I know ;) John is a bit messed up and his thoughts all over the place... But I think he has to process a lot here.. Poor John.
