Chapter 7

Three months went by and despite attempts at coaxing him out, by both Darius and Nadir; Erik remained a non-entity in the boy's life. Erik was in deep mourning over Christine, and did not want to risk having a relationship with the boy, especially after the boy had rejected him. For Gustave, if he didn't know any better, he would have sworn that his so-called father did not really exist. The man had truly vanished like a ghost. He did not really mean what he had said to him, it was just that he was a little bit afraid of him. He was so tall, mysterious and most of all, intimidating. He did not seem like a person that you could hunt or fish with like Pere. He didn't see that he could do anything with such a man. Nadir kept telling him that he was a good person but how could he know that he was when he wasn't around? Simone had told him about the Phantom of the Opera, and how he killed people, how he almost killed Pere. If this man was him then he was not a man at all but a monster. He did not want to be the son of a monster, no matter how well that the monster could protect him. Who would protect him from this strange creature?

When he found out that he was Maman's Angel of Music he softened. He might have reconsidered his earlier feelings; but then when he was told that he was his real father; it was too much for him to bear. The one person, who he admired more than anyone in the world, was not his father after all. He had been so proud to be a de Chagny, the scion of an old and illustrious family. This new revelation meant that he was nothing, just the bastard son of a monster. His whole life had been a lie. He was confused and angry but he also felt so lonely.

To make up for the absence of his guardian Nadir and Darius would try to entertain Gustave. They took him into town and bought him music for the violin. They tried to coax Erik into teaching the boy how to play, but Erik remained disinterested in the child. He told them that the boy could teach himself just as he had, and that it would provide him with some amusement. Instead of trying to get to know the boy, the former Phantom spent much time in his workshop which was away from the house in his own private area of the estate. Nadir and Darius knew better than to show anyone that place, even Gustave. It was Erik's private sanctum, where he created his marvelous inventions and worked on other projects as well. Erik welcomed no one to his sanctuary; it was where he went to pass the time of his empty life. It was his refuge from the tedium that his self-imposed exile had created.

So the time passed with both father and son feeling a deep and terrible loneliness but neither one of them wanting to take any steps to end it. Erik could not, out of fear of further rejection, and Gustave, out of fear of the monster that was said to be his father. They both exhibited the same stubbornness, and it seemed that the vast gulf dividing them from one another would never be bridged. Erik would watch Gustave from afar and could see that he was indeed a curious child. He was no stranger to lurking in the shadows and watching others. Gustave could sense that someone was watching him, but it didn't make him fear his father any less. But a child left alone in a strange place, with only a nanny and two foreign men would inevitably began to explore his environment. His curiosity could not be contained forever. When it finally blossomed, it overcame any fear that he had for the unknown. He had not explored the large building that looked like a barn in the back. He was told to stay away from it but that only drew him to it more. He wanted to know what was inside of it. Despite the fact that Erik would tinker and then destroy many of his inventions, he would retain those that he found the most interesting. He had had many years to construct his wonders that he had no intention of ever sharing with a world that deemed him a monster.

One morning in June, Erik was putting the finishing touches on a horseless carriage. It employed an electric motor which Erik had built from scratch using his own design but ordering the necessary parts from Germany. He had spent several hours starting it and stopping it, but to; Erik's frustration it still sounded a little off to his well attuned ears. He cursed loudly and threw a wrench against the wall which made a loud bang. Then he took a break to collect his thoughts and work on his project once more. He lost sight of the time, and it didn't much matter anyhow. He had nowhere to be, and few to care about him if he did. Suddenly he heard the door to his sanctum open. He had placed a bell there that would ring if anyone dared to enter. He stopped what he was doing immediately and to his dismay the boy was standing there staring at him and his inventions. His mouth was agape in wonderment. Gustave had never seen such an amazing room with such wondrous things in it. Suddenly he froze, like an animal that had been caught by a predator. He saw his terrifying father's piercing eyes burn him with the heat of his angry gaze. His heart throbbed in terror as he saw his father's face contort with rage.

Erik quickly grabbed his cloak and donned it over his denim overalls that he wore to work on his inventions. He pulled the hood over his face obscuring himself from the boy. He was relieved that he had chosen to wear his prosthesis; many times he did not because it was more comfortable not to do so but that day he had.

"What are you doing here boy?" He screamed "Didn't anyone tell you that this place is off limits to everyone even Nadir? Yet here you are."

The boy stepped backwards taken aback by his rage. "I am sorry sir, I was bored and only wanted to see what was here. I did not mean to bother you."

"Didn't your sainted father teach you never to come into a place without knocking?" Erik asked irritably. "I would expect that a proud scion of the de Chagny family would have impeccable manners. Yet here you are disturbing me!"

"I did knock sir, but you did not answer. Perhaps you did not hear me, your device is very loud." He replied tearfully. "I am sorry. I will leave you." he turned quickly to leave.

Erik felt his anger fly away. The boy really did mean no harm. It was not his fault that he was a curious child. He might have done the same at such an age, if he were not locked away in a cage and chained like an animal.

"Wait boy. You may stay. I did not mean to get so angry at you. I was just frustrated with my motor. You may come closer." He told him more kindly.

"It's alright sir, I will leave you just as you said." He stuttered timidly, backing away in fear.

Erik sighed. He did not want the boy to think of him as an ogre. He wanted the boy to keep away from him but not hate him. "You might as well take a look at what I am making here." Erik beckoned to him. "Come forward, I will not harm you.'

The boy looked scared, but his curiosity won out. "What is it?" he asked.

"A horseless carriage." Erik replied "It is a new technology that will someday change the world. Would you like to see it?"

The boy stepped forward, losing some of his fear. "Very much so sir."

The boy came over and reached out to touch it. He could not help but to be impressed "It is amazing sir. Did you make it yourself?"

"Yes and no boy, I read about similar vehicles in Detroit, Cleveland and even in France and Germany. I ordered most of the parts from a man in Germany named Mr. Benz. I have crafted a few of my own to create this vehicle. I have been working on it for almost a year and it is finally ready to go." He told him.

The boy stepped around it. "How fast will it go?"

"Mine is faster than most, the average one goes no faster than thirty-two kilometers per hour, but I think that I can tinker with the settings to get it to do fifty, as soon as I can get the last kinks out of the engine. " he told Gustave proudly. "Do you like to build things Gustave?" he asked.

"Yes, but not like this. I don't know anyone who could build such a thing. You are a genius sir." He told Erik.

Erik let out a melodious laugh "I have been told that before, little Vicomte."

"Please don't call me that sir, I prefer Gustave." He told Erik quietly.

"I am sorry Gustave. I have little experience with people. We don't exactly get along well." He admitted with a touch of melancholy.

"Why do you hide? Why do you never come out and see anyone other than Darius or Nadir?" the boy asked.

Erik laughed bitterly "You are so eager to spend time with me? If so, you hide it well. From my point of view you appear to be afraid of me; as if I would harm my own son. You have shown me from the beginning that you have no interest in me. You are still afraid of me; I can see you tremble in fear even now. "

"I am trying not to be. I am sorry for what I said that day, really I am. I didn't mean it." Gustave told him apologetically.

"It doesn't matter Gustave. You were right I could not hope to replace your father. It is pointless to try. I have found that it is better if I keep to myself. I have learned from past experience that any attempt to befriend a person has led to heartbreak for me and unpleasantness for them. You are better off with me in the background. You may think that I have not noticed you, but I am there. I do protect you, just as your mother asked me to do." He admitted softly.

"You loved my mother?" The boy asked almost as a statement of fact.

"With all of my heart, Gustave but it was not enough." Erik replied morosely.

"Then why did you leave her?" he asked. "If you are really my father then why didn't you stay with us?"

"I didn't know about you, but I left your mother because I could not offer her the life that she deserved. I was ashamed of who I had been. Your father was supposed to provide her with a home, with love and safety. Have you ever been given a gift that you would love to keep because it is exactly what you want and what you need, but you knew that the gift was not meant for you? That in keeping it, you would be destroying it?" he asked pointedly.

"No sir. If I received a gift that I wanted I would be happy to keep it and make use of it." He replied.

"I see." Erik told him. "Spoken like a member of the privileged class. Well I guess that I cannot explain my reasons to you very well. You have no basis for comparison, something which I am glad of. It means that you have not suffered greatly in your life but have been well loved; something that I have never had." He added.

"Was my mother this gift that you refer to?" Gustave asked thoughtfully.

"Yes boy. She was an exquisite gift, the only present that I ever had in my entire life, but I couldn't accept it, for her sake." Erik revealed.

"Why could you not provide for her? You seem to be doing very well here. I have heard that you are very rich." The boy queried. "They are very curious about you in town. They say that you own much of it."

Erik told him "I was not so fortunate at the time. It took a lot of time, and effort for me to achieve my current wealth. When I let your mother go, I was a wanted fugitive, if I had been caught I would have been executed and I deserved that fate. I was a criminal, no better than any other cutthroat."

"Yet my mother cared about you." the boy mused.

"She and I shared a special bond. After she came to me and forgave me for my crimes she changed me for the better. I could not remain the man that I had become. I wanted to be different, be better; be someone that she could be proud of, even though I knew that I would never see her again." Erik admitted.

"You were that monster that Simone spoke of weren't you? The man who kidnapped Maman and tried to kill papa?" the boy queried.

"Yes, I was once the Phantom of the Opera, and yes I tried to kill the Vicomte, but I didn't, I let him go." Erik told him.

"If you are he then why would Papa trust you with me? And Maman too? I don't understand. Many in France blame you for their deaths. They ask who else could have done such a thing. I have heard these rumors, and yet Pierre brought me here at my parent's behest." The boy asked. Erik could see that he was still afraid. The boy stepped away and looked ready to run.

"Because they knew that I would never harm you or your mother, but that I had a unique ability to protect you, and I will do so." Erik replied. "I would give my own life to keep you safe which is why even your father entrusted you to me. You don't have to be afraid of me."

"But they say that you are a monster. That you have no face, only a flaming skull." The boy replied backing away even more. "You cannot be my father if you are he. How could it be?"

Erik laughed melodiously "I am only a man, not a monster. Monsters do not exist, at least not ones such as Vampires or Frankenstein. I am however very hideous on one side of my face. It is a face that would cause you nightmares to gaze upon; which is why I wear a prosthesis to hide it, along with a wig and robes. We are both very lucky that you did not happen upon this place while I was not wearing it. Often times I do not do so in this place because it is my private domain, where I can work in peace. It is why I was so angry when you came in here unannounced."

"Would you show me what you really look like? Please? I need proof that you are not a monster." The boy asked nervously.

"I am afraid, my boy, that if you were to see my face that you may decree it otherwise. Few have been able to stomach it, even I have difficulty looking in a mirror, and I cannot escape from it ever." Erik replied gently.

"Please sir, show me. I promise not to be afraid, as long as your face is not a flaming skull." Gustave pleaded. "I just need to see who you really are. Perhaps then I would not be afraid of you any longer."

"You cannot promise what is natural boy, I myself screamed the first time that I saw it. It was the one mercy that my parents allowed me, which was the ability not to see myself ever. It was my caretaker who first showed me. She was blind, and like you now, I begged her to give me a mirror. When she finally agreed I was sorry that I had done so. You would be sorry, no matter how prettily that you may beg me." Erik told him.

"Please sir, if I am really your son you must show me. I need to understand why Maman would have loved you. She always taught me to look beyond the surface of a person and look into his heart instead. She told me that she had once made a terrible mistake and misunderstood someone who she loved just because of how he looked. I think that the person that she was talking about is you, if you are my father." Gustave added.

"You are asking a lot from me boy, more than I am prepared to give. If you see my face you might be tempted to flee from me, and not accept my protection. Even if we do not really know one another you are my own flesh and blood and I do not want to put you in danger." Erik replied but he was beginning to waver. The boy was afraid of him anyhow. He looked as if he was ready to run away but he was trying to put on a brave face.

"You have my word that I will not run away." Gustave pleaded. "I know that you will not hurt me. I just need to see what you really look like. I am your son. Don't you think that I should know what you look like?"

Erik looked at him in resignation. In the end what difference did it make? He thought sadly. The boy will be afraid either way. He swallowed his fear and decided to show Gustave his face. He remembered long ago that Christine had once told him that if he had shown her his face sooner that perhaps she would not have reacted so badly. Perhaps he could heed her advice and warn him.

"Alright boy, you win if you want to call it that. I will show you but you must promise me that you will be very brave. Remember I am made of the same things that you are, even there. It is all skin and bone and nothing more. Can you do that?" he asked.

"Yes, I know that I can." The boy replied solemnly. "I give you my word of honor."

Erik smiled "And a Vicomte's word is his bond. Prettily spoken boy, but you cannot really promise me that. You will likely run from me in terror, even though I would not harm you."

Erik knelt down on the floor to be at eye level with the boy, and lowered his hood to reveal his prosthetic. His aqua eyes were clouded in fear at what he was about to do. No one had ever reacted to an unmasking with anything short of fear and revulsion, not even Nadir; but now he was showing his face to his own son. He knew that in a moment he would be crushed once again. The boy would never come near him; never accept his monstrosity of a face or any part of him. He slowly removed his prosthetic while looking down in shame, afraid to look at the boy's face to see his reaction. To his credit the boy did swallow his revulsion and did not scream, just as he promised. Erik slowly raised up his eyes to look into his son's face.

"Ddd…oess it hurt?" the boy asked tentatively. Erik could see the boy struggling to cap his fear.

"No child, it does not hurt. It is as much my face as yours belongs to you. The only thing that hurts me is how others view it. It is why I keep to the shadows and do not seek people out." He admitted Gustave softly; his rich voice did much to soothe the boy's nerves.

"That is very sad sir. But your pros...te..I cannot pronounce it, makes your face look like everyone else's, or at least almost does. Couldn't you just wear that and come out and see people? It must be terribly lonely for you to be all alone most of the time. May I touch your face?" Gustave pleaded.

Erik looked at him in surprise "You want to touch it?…nobody has ever wanted to do so except for your mother and that was only much later after she knew me."

"I want to feel for myself that it is what you say that it is: skin and bones. I can only believe you if I touch it." The boy admitted. "I do not want to be afraid of you."

Erik swallowed both his fear and his tears "Go ahead you may touch it. You will see that it is what I say that it is nothing more. You are a most unusual child to want to do so."

The boy approached him and reached out, gently caressing Erik's face. Erik instinctively flinched at the unusual sensation most people who had touched him in the past wanted only to do him harm. Gustave just explored it quietly, but completely. Erik tried to remain outwardly calm as he did so, but it was not easy to retain his composure. He kept expecting the boy to scream and run away despite his assurances otherwise.

"It is as you say sir, just skin and bones." He said in amazement. "You are no monster, just a man." He added as if pronouncing judgment on him.

"A very ugly man." Erik retorted with an edge of bitterness to his voice.

"Only on one side, on the other side you are quite handsome almost as handsome as my father was. I could get used to your bad side, if you showed it to me often. My father always told me that I was a very brave boy. I know that I could brave seeing your face and while it is as ugly as you say, I am not afraid of it. I used to think that spiders looked scary but Papa told me that they are good for us. They eat other insects so they actually help us. I wasn't afraid of them after that."

Erik laughed "I am not sure that I have ever been compared to a spider before, but if it helps you to think of me as harmless, I guess that it is a good thing." Erik became more serious "Tell me the truth Gustave, do you like it here? I have seen you crying when the others are not around."

"I miss my parent's sir and my friends. My papa took me everywhere with him whenever he could, and Maman used to sing to me every night and hug me close and tell me stories of the North, and other tales that she said came from her angel. I suppose that they were your stories since you were her angel. I never thought about that until now." The boy told him.

"Is that so? What else did she do with you?" Erik was dying to learn anything about Christine even if she were gone.

"She would sing to me as well, and her voice was so beautiful. Sometimes she would look very sad and distant, as if she were in another place, when she sang, Monsieur. Her eyes would glaze over and her voice would crack and she would cry. I would ask her what was wrong and she told me that she missed someone who was very dear to her. She would only sing for me and no one else. She said that when her angel left that he took her voice with him but I just think that she was too sad that you were gone to sing."

"We used to sing together when she was your age." Erik told him somberly. "We would trade stories in the dark. I would tell her about my adventures in the east and she would tell me her Swedish folk tales. She missed Sweden a lot as a girl, but she got used to living in France as she got older."

"She would tell me about all of the snow there and the long winter nights and summer days. She promised to take me there someday to see the place where she lived, and to meet my cousins and family there. Papa's family would have nothing to do with us. They did not approve of Maman because she was not of noble blood, but Maman was beautiful. Papa always told me that."

"That is one of the few things that your papa and I ever did agree on Gustave. He and I were enemies not friends." Erik told him.

"Yes, but even so, why did you try to kill him? Why did you kill other people? Don't you know that to kill is wrong? It is in the Ten Commandments."

Erik looked away "I know that now child, which is another reason that I keep myself far from other people. For many years my life was horrible. I was beaten and caged and displayed in front of the world like an animal, but worse, because I was forced to endure terrible things. I had to fight to survive, yet a part of me prayed for death because it would have been better than how I could live. A small part of me still hoped that I could escape and run far away to some place where they would treat me kindly and accept me for whom I was; but it was not to be, there is no such place. I was hated everywhere no matter where I went, because my face was always with me. By the time that I met your mother, I was mistrustful and dangerous and I lashed out at whoever I came in contact with. I had never been loved by anyone so I did not know what it meant to love until your mother changed me. I am not that man anymore but I still keep away from people."

"It sounds like you have had a very hard and sad life, sir. Still, even if some people were unkind to you, you are not hated by everyone. Nadir and Darius are both your friends and Maman too. Why don't you go out and see if others might like you? Perhaps if you did you wouldn't look so sad." Gustave asked him thoughtfully.

Erik ignored the boy's question and asked one of his own "I have a question for you boy, why are you not running away from me in terror? I have admitted to you that I am a bad man. You have heard that as well."

"I didn't remember until just now but Maman, right before the last time that I saw her, told me to trust no one but the ghost who became a man, who was also her angel of music. She reminded me that her father sent you to her to watch over her and keep her safe. She said that no matter what people tell me, especially you, that you are a good and handsome man underneath and to trust you. She also told me to tell you that she had remembered all that you had taught her and that someday you would meet again in the place where your dreams began." The boy told him.

"That is a pleasant thought boy, but I am afraid that I am bound for hell, not heaven." Erik told him.

"Do you miss Maman?" Gustave asked.

"Of course child, how could I not? She was the love of my life. There will never be another like her for me." Erik replied. His eyes misted in tears.

"Me too, sir." Gustave told him tearfully. "Would you hug me? Maman and Papa would do so all of the time. No one has hugged me in a long time. I am trying to be brave and be a man, but it is hard sometimes." He admitted.

Erik gave him a peculiar look, no one but Christine had ever wanted to hug him before. He was hideous. Surely, the boy did not realize what he was requesting.

"I don't think that you really want that son." Erik told him "You have seen my face. You know that I have murdered people. You are acting rashly."

The boy looked at him with a hurt expression "I thought that you and I could comfort one another since we both loved Maman, but I guess that I was wrong; you don't need comforting. I will go." He turned away.

"No, wait, please. I would really like to. I was thinking to spare you from acting rashly. No one has ever wanted to hug me, with the exception of your mother and even she did not do so until the end. I would love to do so if you still would like to." Erik pleaded.

The boy turned towards him "If you are truly my father then why wouldn't I hug you? Maman told me not to be afraid of you, and you have pledged to keep me safe. I have already touched your face, and it is just as you said it was skin and bones. So what if you are ugly there? It doesn't make you less deserving of a hug than anyone else. That's what family and friends do for one another hug."

Erik laughed "Is that what we are now, family? Or are we just friends?"

"Can we be both? I have been lonely here. I would love to help you with your inventions and maybe you could be my angel of music, like you were for Maman. I love to compose songs on the piano and Maman told me that you did as well. You will never take Papa's place in my heart, but I have had time to think more clearly and there is no reason why I couldn't love you as well. Maman loved both you and Papa. I guess that I could be like her."

Erik began to weep and told him softly "I would be anything that you ask of me my son. I would be your angel, father or even just your friend whatever you need."

"I just don't want to feel so alone and empty anymore, sir. Do you understand?" Gustave asked him.

"Of course I understand. I feel the same way son. I have never had anyone who wanted me for any reason, not until now." Erik stepped forward and embraced his son. For a time, they hugged one another neither one of them daring to be the first to let go.