As soon as I get into bed, she will pretzel her legs around my one leg and lay her head on my chest… in five minutes or less, she's fast asleep. I feel like such a man!

-Shelby M. Hill, 36, Orlando Fl.


It started out innocently enough; after a hard day, we got some pizza and beers and sat on my couch watching a James Bond movie. Eventually, we ended up lying next to each other, my back up against the back of the couch, and her back against my chest. After a while, she got uncomfortable on the edge of the sofa, and I moved so she could lie against the back of the sofa and next to me. She wrapped her legs around mine, and placed her head on my chest. Soon, she was fast asleep. I didn't want to wake her, so I stayed on the couch. I used one of the pillows to prop my head up, and fell asleep. When I woke up, she still had her legs around mine, and her head was still on my chest. I looked at my clock and saw it was way past the time she got up to go for her run, but she looked so tired that I didn't wake her. I stayed there for another hour before she woke. When she did, she rolled off me and onto the floor. She rubbed her eyes, and then looked up at me.

"What time is it?" She asked.

"

After seven." I said quietly, finally moving. I sat up straight, stretching out my neck. She got up in a flash, and I didn't see her until I got to work. I was late, but I was well rested. She seemed a little odd that day, but I didn't ask her. Not until our next movie night, and after two beers.

"Hey, Amy?" I asked, and she looked up at me. She was sitting on the opposite end of the couch, her feet just touching my thigh.

"Yes Hamilton?" She asked, grabbing another slice of pizza.

"Why did you freak out that one morning?" I asked, and I knew that I didn't need to explain for her to know what I was talking about. She stiffened, and kept her eyes on the TV. I waited though, knowing that she was thinking by the way she pursed her lips and furrowed her brow. I watched her, and eventually she spoke.

"I was…. embarrassed." She said, thinking over her last word. I quirked an eyebrow.

"For falling asleep?" I asked, and she scrunched her nose. She seemed to be thinking it over.

"Yes." She said slowly, and I laughed.

"Amy, you can't be embarrassed over something a human being does almost every night. Unless they have insomnia, but it's natural. You can't get embarrassed over something like that." I said, realizing I sounded angry.

"I know it's natural Hamilton. However, how I fell asleep was why I was embarrassed." She said, starting to sound angry also. I calmed myself before speaking again.

"Because it was different position to be in? Because it might be vulnerable?" I asked quietly, and she nodded. I sighed, and reached over to touch her leg.

"Being human means you get to be vulnerable." I said, and she shook her head.

"You can't be vulnerable like that. You could end up getting killed." She said, and I sighed heavily.

"Amy, for once, could you just be vulnerable? Just once? It's me, and I don't care if you're vulnerable or not."

Amy looked away from me, her red hair falling over her back. I waited for her to turn back around, but she didn't. She stayed that way. I sighed, moving my hand away from her. When the movie was over, I looked at her again. She was still sitting looking away from me, and I sighed.

"Amy, are you alright?" I asked, and she nodded. I heard her sniff, and I moved to sit in front of her on the ground. I saw the small tear trails, and pulled her into a hug. She was stiff at first, but eventually she relaxed into my arms.

"It's okay Amy. I didn't mean to make you cry." I whispered to her, and she shook her head.

"You didn't." She said, and I looked at her.

"Then why are you crying?" I asked.

"Because." She said, and I sighed.

I got it. She was being vulnerable. I pulled her tighter into my arms, protecting her from the world in her one time of weakness.

It took a while, it really did. It took a while for her to begin to trust me with stuff, and then after that it took a while for her to let her guard down. I didn't know when, but our little movie nights turned into something else and we ended up asleep in one of our beds. She always seemed to pretzel her legs around mine, and her head would lie on my chest. It became more of a nightly thing, but we always skipped the movies, unless it was Tuesday. It was slow, but eventually I realized that we had started a relationship closer than our previous one.

If that was even possible…

Nevertheless, it was enlightening to see this other side of her. At work, she was still the dutiful Madrigal officer, whose walls were so high they touched the sky. But when she walked through that door, and entered either my house or hers, she was a different Amy. She was still stubborn and threatening to kill me, but she was different. It was hard to explain.

All I knew was she would tell me when something was bothering her. She would walk around in sweatpants, a t-shirt and no bra, no makeup, and her hair a mess and not even care what I thought. At night, when we fell asleep, her legs would be wrapped around mine, and her head would always be lying on my chest.

And even now, after ten years of marriage; when I crawl into bed, her legs go around mine and her head finds my chest. She falls asleep in seconds, and stays that way until I have to get up.

She still thinks its vulnerability.

I think it is the best way to fall asleep.