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Digidestend Angel
I do NOT own Victorious
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Chapter Seven
Lost For So Long
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i believe in you
i'll give up everything just to find you
i have to be with you to live to breathe
you're taking over me – Taking Over Me
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Lane and Beck had been sitting in absolute silence for a good 5 minutes, which felt like hours to Beck.
Lane finally spoke. "This just went bad."
"Very." Beck chuckled nervously, still in tears. "I really hadn't planned on telling you this. Cat will kill me when she finds out I told you."
"She really did cut?"
"And it wasn't because of me." Beck began to explain. "Even though she was making up a bunch of things that it was because she wanted to understand how I felt, she really did want to, but…it was because she wanted to get rid of her pain. She found out she had certain diabetes, which she didn't understand, so she wanted the reality of her situation to go away. When Cat doesn't understand something, it scares her. If you don't explain something thoroughly to her, she gets confused and doesn't know what to do next."
Lane let out a breath. "Well…that…makes a bit of…sense, I guess."
Beck was having a hard time speaking. "I kept thinking to myself at those very moments that if she had cut any deeper, she would've sliced through a vein and…bled to death before we could even get to the ER. She would've died. All she was doing was trying to find an easier way to get rid of her pain."
Lane nodded. "Did you guys ever discuss it?"
"Yup. Right after."
After putting anti-infection cream and bandaging her arm up, Beck helped his girlfriend to the bed and tucked her in. He wanted to stay up and make them some breakfast…or lunch now.
Beck gulped before speaking. "Cat…don't ever do that again."
Cat frowned. "But you do it. You have no right to tell me that I can't if you do it. What makes me so different?"
"The difference is…it made my heart almost stop beating." Beck released his tears. "Cat…you cut too deep. It scared me. You're just too important to me, your family, and our friends. Cat, I need you to be around. I can't live without you. Your parents…dear god, they just adore you. You are everything to them, Cat. And our friends need you too. They need your smiles and laughter. We all do. The whole world does. You're too talented and precious to everyone for you to cut and abuse your body."
Cat stared at him. "So are you."
"Cat."
"Beck…please, please, pleaseeeeee promise me that you won't cut EVER again." Cat begged. "I tried to feel what you feel and it hurt so bad. And look what happened: I hurt you. You're crying and depressed over this. How do you think I feel every time?"
Beck nodded. "The same thing."
"Yes." Cat sighed. "Please?"
Beck didn't even hesitate. "Cat…I promise that I will never, ever cut again."
"I asked Cat if she wanted to go on that picnic, but she didn't know if we were both up to going outside. I told her I was, and I really was. So she agreed to go. We went to Cat's house and she dressed up for the occasion while I made some sandwiches and packed a bag of bread to feed the ducks. The rest of the day was perfect."
"Cat refused to tell you what was wrong with her, didn't she?"
"Yeah." Beck frowned. "She was distant that day, but again, I thought it was because of that morning. I didn't push it. I should have though…"
After a few hours, Cat seemed to relax in her yellow summer dress and smiled more. She and Beck finished eating and went by the lake. Cat immediately took out the pieces of bread and broke them apart to feed the ducks, who came up and enjoyed the attention. Beck sat down on the grass, watching closely.
Cat had such a way with the world, including animals. Everyone loved her. Who could hate a girl so precious? Whoever did, they'd hear from Beck Oliver, because Cat was the most perfect girl on the planet to him. She did nothing wrong.
SPLASH
"Beck…" He heard her whimper loudly to him.
Beck snapped out of his thoughts and saw Cat in the pond. He jumped and raced over to her. Her hair was in her face as she tried to help herself up. He grabbed her waist and lifted her out of the water and onto her feet. The ducks feasted upon the bread floating in the water now.
Cat was shaking.
Beck took her hair out of her face and tried to smooth it out with his hands as he looked into her eyes. "Cat…what happened?"
Cat shrugged. "I went dizzy."
"Dizzy?" He asked in concern.
"Mmhmm." Cat nodded, rubbing her eyes with her fists.
"Oh, babygirl." He kissed her forehead as he kept trying to smooth out her tangled hair with his fingers. "You're okay. I have you."
"Beck?"
"What's wrong?"
She leaned back and looked him in the eyes. "Can I move in with you?"
"I could barely believe my ears." Beck said out loud. "It wasn't like my best friend to say something like that. I've known Cat almost my whole life, so it just didn't feel right."
"Why did she want to move in?"
"She explained why and then it started to make sense." Beck explained. "She didn't want me to cut again. So we planned it out. For a month, she'd move in with me and that whole month, I wouldn't leave her sight and she'd help me regain myself so I wouldn't have another relapse. She was going to make sure I had the happiness of life implanted in my brain. She said she was going to remind me of why I hadn't cut for three full years before doing it again."
"Did she?"
"Did she ever." Beck chuckled. "She did that and more."
"Before we jump ahead, let's wait a second." Lane said, writing everything down. "Let's skip ahead to the day she moved in."
"It was the next day." Beck didn't smile nor did he frown. "She wasn't okay."
"Emotionally or physically?"
"Physically."
"I'm still in amazement that your parents are letting you live with me for a full month." Beck chuckled as he walked into the RV with Cat's suitcase. She walked in behind him with a duffle bag full of bathroom things and stuff, along with her school backpack. "Same with my parents."
"I'm glad your dad apologized to you." Cat said softly, putting her stuff down next to the couch. "I'm glad he told your mom and she talked to you about it too."
"Yeah. Even though he only drank once, which was that night, he still is going to go to AA meetings." Beck smiled. "And when we talked to them about my cutting, they were shocked, but they were glad you wanted to help me."
"Now our only focus is going to be you." Cat told him, patting his arm. When she put a hand to her head suddenly, he took her arm to steady her. "Sorry."
"Don't tell me you're tired again." Beck said, looking concerned. Cat shrugged. "Cat…since yesterday to all day today, you've been seriously tired. What's going on?"
Cat began to tear up as her eyes were getting glossy. "I'm sorry, I'm sorry." Her voice croaked. "I'm sorry. I'll leave-"
He grabbed her arm before she ran out. "Hey, hey…" He pulled her to his chest as she sobbed. "Don't leave."
"I'm sorry."
"Don't be." Beck pulled back. "Cat, I'm serious. You refused to eat last night and this morning…what's going on with you?"
Cat shook her head. "I'm just bothering you! I'm sorry!" She wrenched herself from him, but he grabbed her again and pulled her back into his arms. "Let me go! I'll just make you upset!"
"Sshh." Beck cooed as he sat her down on the bed and rocked her back and forth on his lap. She was trying to calm down her breathing. "I'm not upset. I'm okay. We'll be okay."
Soon after, he found her asleep.
After tucking her in and putting Mr. Longneck in her arms, making sure her bandages on her arm were still clean, Beck left her and decided to go work on some homework. Cat could just copy off him when she woke up. He sat on the couch, but he accidentally knocked over Cat's small duffle bag. He flinched and saw Cat only stir. He sighed in relief. He started picking up the items, but he saw a bottle of medication. Cat's name was on it.
Why did she have medication?
Beck looked over to Cat, who's face looked peaceful and innocent.
He was worried.
What was wrong with his girl?
"Did you confront her about it?" Lane asked.
Beck shook his head. "No." He sighed. "I should've."
Lane looked over at his watch and his eyes widened. "Wow, Beck, it's been over 3 hours."
Beck looked shocked. "Seriously?"
"Yup." Lane nodded. "It's almost 7. I know visiting hours stop at 8 and you probably want to get to the hospital before the others leave."
"Yeah." Beck stood up as did Lane. "I don't like Cat alone. She hates hospitals."
"Let's continue this tomorrow. Same time." Lane urged.
Beck could tell he wasn't going to take no for an answer. He nodded. "Alright. See you tomorrow."
Beck left Lane's office and left the school walls, walking to his car. As he sat in and started it up, he smiled. On his dashboard, a wallet size photo of him and Cat at their freshman year prom was there. Things seemed to be so simple back then.
Why couldn't things go back to that?
Rising Flame 'o' Hell: Well somebody woke up on the wrong freaking side of hell today…dude, if you don't like my flippin' stories, DON'T READ THEM! Jeez, it makes no sense to flame someone about their stories that you don't like or that you disagree with…just don't read them if you don't LIKE THEM! You can't control what the author writes to make it what YOU want! If you want stories a certain way…WRITE YOUR OWN! …okay, I'm done now.
Angel-demon princess12, LittleMissVictorious, CubeFistMan, jinxcharm, CourtsxBatFan, xScreamingxAngelx (Again, if you need to talk, you can vent to me.), BeriisVictoroius, Chipy8910, Glittergirl123, VictoriousFOrever10 (Hope you are feeling better): Thanks guys for reviewing :) you all are so great, and I'm SOOOOOOOOOOOOo happy you guys like the story! I'm finished writing this story by the way, so that's good :) So no wait for updates! (That rhymed…) And guys, don't send hateful things to that flamer…yes, I know some of you well.
