Chapter Summary: Katniss and her family go to the mayor's party and the Harvest Festival.

I stood there for a second before practically racing to the door, desperate to get out of the room as quickly as possible. Just as I neared Madge's room the Mayor came up the stairs. He greeted me kindly before disappearing into the study. I went along to Madge's room and tapped on the door. I didn't bother to try to compose myself. Madge was unusually perceptive and wouldn't question me as to what I was upset about. At least not where we could be heard.

Madge was seated at her dressing table brushing out her wavy blond hair before the mirror. She was dressed in the pretty white dress she had worn on reaping day. Once that would have been the nicest dress in the district but even that could hardly compare to the silvery creation Cinna had made for me. I would have gladly torn the thing off and given it to her and worn one of the faded dresses of my mothers.

"Look at you. Like you came right off the streets of the Capitol." Her smile lit her face as she stood up.

"Are you sure you don't want this back? It's all the rage in the Capitol." I felt a little guilty keeping her pin.

"Don't be silly. It was a gift." Madge replied twisting the gold ribbon into her curls.

"Where did you get it anyway?" I asked suddenly wanting to know the history of the object that had come to define me.

"It was my aunt's," she said. "But it's been in the Donner family a long time."

"It's a funny choice, a mockingjay," I said. "I mean, because of what happened in the rebellion and the jabberjays backfiring on the Capitol."

"But mockingjays were never a weapon," said Madge. "They're just a songbird. Right?"

"I guess so," I replied but not before I saw the flash of warning in Madge's eyes. She was telling me that it wasn't safe to voice such thoughts. Madge knew as well as I that the mockingjay was the creation the Capitol never intended to exist. They hadn't anticipated the will to live in the jabberjay. I marveled once again at her poise. She would have carried off the Star-Crossed Lovers routine flawlessly.

I went downstairs with her where we were photographed constantly. I saw Prim emerge a few minutes later dressed in a gold dress very similar to mine except it was less puffy She looked so lovely it took my breath away. My mother even looked young in a pale blue dress and a touch of makeup. Aunt Hazelle was dressed in an old Merchant dress of my mother probably having refused a nicer dress that we could have bought for her. Vic and Rory looked like the overgrown children they were in clothing that was already too small. Posy rounded out the group in her lovely pink dress and her hair in glossy ringlets.

The Capitol people made much of Posy and Prim and ignored Vic and Rory who probably would have frowned or said something rude anyway. They hated cameras and sitting still almost as much as Gale hated the fanfare. I hated it too. I couldn't wait to throw off the trappings of the horrible tour and bury my feet in the wet earth. It was too cold for that now but the minute I could I intended to get as muddy and messy as possible.

Peeta was standing off to the side with his mother who glanced at me coolly. Her bright blue eyes appraised me with an expression of derision. Well, she was no more taken in by my acting than President Snow. I turned away disgusted by the woman and the way she had of making anyone in her path feel as small as an ant. Poor Peeta. To grow up under that woman must have been awful.

"Who put you in that torturous contraption?" I whirled around and saw Gale shaking his head at the dress.

"Cinna. It's the style for this kind of party." I answered with faux brightness. There were enough people around I couldn't tell the truth. I could barely breathe in the damn thing.

"It looks ridiculous." He whispered. I nodded sharing a small smile. He looked just as miserable in what must have been his father's old suit.

"You look ravishing, dear," Peeta said coming alongside me. Unlike the proposal, this definitely felt forced. But I could see in his eyes that he genuinely liked it. I supposed it was flattering even if it was uncomfortable.

I smiled and gave him a quick kiss feeling a little uncomfortable in front of Gale. He was watching us with an unreadable expression. I knew he and Peeta had never been friends and didn't particularly like each other. Gale resented Peeta's creation of the Star-Crossed Lovers and thought he was just taking advantage of me. And Peeta probably resented his distrust right back. I know I would have but then again I always was a resentful person.

I saw them shake hands and exchange stiff pleasantries just as Madge returned. She started talking about the tour in her "Capitol Approved Voice" which I had soon discovered was very different than her usual one. I had trouble following as usual. It was hard to talk about anything but the food. Peeta, on the other hand, had no problem answering her questions. Gale and I exchanged glances. I couldn't help but wonder what would have happened if it had been Madge in the Games instead of me. She probably wouldn't have survived the Bloodbath but if miracle of miracles she had survived she probably would have done a much better job of appeasing the President than I had.

"I wish I was in the woods," I whispered. Gale nodded but I wished most of all for my father back. To go into the woods with him and swim in the lake and hear his laugh and how he said my eyes shone like silver.

Effie dragged us off again and the night passed in a round of talking and pretending. Madge was always helpfully near to steer me away from a couple of lecherous old Capitol officials who had come out to one of the few parties District 12 ever had. Even old Cray was there in a dress uniform he probably hadn't worn in a decade. He stared me down with a look of intensity that made me shudder. I didn't need to go to the man to get a few coins but if he ever wanted to hurt me he could. He knew my illegal operation.

It was especially hard to keep up the act in front of my family. Perhaps it was because the act was so outside of my real character. The real Katniss, if she were in love, would not be giggling and grinning and twirling. She would not kiss and say sappy things in public. I had never been in love but I felt certain that if I was it would be something quiet and internal.

Towards the end of the night, they began taking pictures. I had dozens of photos with Prim which wasn't so bad. She was so pretty in her blue dress that I knew that I would have to request a copy of each. And it wasn't hard to smile genuinely when I knew that she was no longer starving. Posy was easy enough to dance with as she prattled nonstop and had clearly had far too much cake. Rory stepped on my toes but talked about food which was a discussion that I had no trouble with. In time I thought Rory would be very much like his father. Vic had always been a quiet boy, like Gale in that regard but without his explosiveness. He was a little like Prim. That was probably why he naturally gravitated towards her. I could tell he was terrified of the Capitol people and couldn't wait to get home. I went off with him to find my Aunt who was standing uncomfortably in the corner. I was surprised to find that she was not alone. Haymitch, looking drunk but not as drunk as in the Capitol, was watching me. I wondered what he thought of my performance.

I realized that it was likely that my father and aunt might very well have known Haymitch long ago when he had been nothing but a scrappy Seam boy. Perhaps they had been friends. My father had never made mocking remarks about Haymitch like a lot of people did.

"You look nice in that dress, Katniss. Though it's a little mature for a girl of your age." My aunt took Vic off my hands and smoothed her hand down my dress until a few wrinkles disappeared.

Of course, the Capitol had other plans. I heard Haymitch snort behind me and she turned and said, "Haymitch Abernathy, you may be used to dressing girls like they are women but I don't agree. But then you're a man."

She spoke quietly as she said, "Of course, you're far too young to marry but I guess we don't have much say in that. You'll make a lovely bride. Your father would be so proud to see you now."

I felt a tear burn my eyes as I thought of how my father would feel seeing me in this position. Somehow I knew he would be able to see through the whole Star-Crossed Lovers thing. He would have helped me and I wouldn't have felt so alone.

Then my aunt whispered, "I want to meet that young man again. He seems like a good boy but I want to know for myself."

I meekly told him we would visit sometime. Poor Peeta, better not get on my aunt's bad side. But I had a feeling she would be charmed by him. She had three boys already and somehow I felt that a boy whose mother was so cold and selfish would appeal to her. Once my aunt was won over it would be easy to get my mother's approval. My mother didn't like my aunt very much but she respected her.

Effie bustled up to me looking anguished and explained that it was absolutely necessary that I go now and try to find Gale. Apparently, they needed Katniss's cousin and best friend to be in the photos. I grimaced and promised her I would search for him. I knew he hadn't gone home no matter how much he wanted to. He wouldn't have left his family alone.

I went out to the garden where Madge and I had tea several times. Madge's garden was peaceful and secluded and it was the closest thing to the woods inside of the fence. I rounded the bend and saw the tiny lights strung along the path which was covered in little paper shades. Each one taking time and labor and materials to make. There was a little house with no walls a little distance off. Madge called it a gazebo and that it was an ancient term. It was completely useless since it didn't have any purpose in protecting you from the wind.

I stared for a second and saw two figures outlined against the dark night. As I stepped near I recognized them. Of course, it was Gale and Madge. If anyone came out here they would be sure to find out. Including Madge's parents who would be none too pleased that their daughter was dating a Seam coal miner. I shifted uneasily as I saw him kiss her, not like that time I had caught him kissing Leevy Brewster in the alley all rushed and desperate, but carefully and almost casually. Madge leaned her head against his shoulder and even though she wasn't particularly short she looked tiny beside him. In the shifting light, her blond head glowed a perfect contrast to Gale's dark hair. I felt my stomach tighten as it reminded me of another couple who looked exactly like that. My father and mother had often stood like that with their arms around each other as if they never wanted to be separated. It was as if they really were one person. And look how that had turned out. My father was dead and my mother had lost her mind. That was what love did to someone. For the first time, I wished Gale was back to running through his list of girls. At least he didn't have feelings for them.

I coughed slightly and they broke apart a little flushed. I knew Gale must have been distracted or he would have heard me. My shoes weren't exactly designed for silence. I came forward reminded of my duty.

"Effie's insisting you come and take some pictures with me. And for goodness sakes, anyone could come up and find out. You're not doing a very good job of keeping a secret." I could hear my voice ring out much harsher than I intended. But I couldn't help but think about how dangerous it all was. If Gale got too invested in Madge he wouldn't want to run away. And we needed to run.

"You're right, Katniss. I'm sorry." Madge sighed.

"It's not my secret to keep," I replied in a softer tone.

Gale shrugged and said, "Might as well get it over with." He looked annoyed at having been caught. Well, it served him right about being so indiscreet.

The night seemed to go on forever. There were more pictures and then I had to say goodbye to everyone before I was allowed to go home. I tore off my dress and had Prim undo the ties to that horrible contraption that confined my ribs. I felt my stomach and chest expand as it loosened. It was such a relief to feel the actual air in my lungs. I was exhausted but I didn't think I would sleep. I was sleeping along again and I had trouble with that.

Prim offered to sleep with me but I told her I would be fine. Prim needed her sleep and I didn't think her presence would help. For some reason sleeping near her never gave me the same comfort it did to sleep with Peeta. Maybe it was because I had to protect her. With Peeta, we looked out for each other.

I briefly considered trying to sneak over after Mother went to sleep. I had the ability to walk nearly soundlessly and I knew all the creaks in the stairs. But my mother was a light sleeper and if she found me missing from my bed I wasn't sure what she would do. And somehow, while our sleeping arrangement had been acceptable on the train, it didn't seem quite right back at home. It felt like a violation of our friendship.

I dreamed of Prim being torn to pieces by the mutts and burning alive with the fireballs. I dreamed of my mother dying a slow and painful death as a result of poisoned berries. I dreamed of arriving at the bank where I found Peeta only to see him open his eyes and say "It's too late," and then I heard the sound of the cannon. I dreamed of Rue dying over and over. Each time I awoke I felt more and more disoriented. Prim and my mother were safe, Rue was not and I wasn't sure about Peeta. I got up and stared out my window until I saw the faint light in his window. He was awake.

The next morning the Preps put that lovely beige cream under my eyes that made me feel less tired. I shocked myself by requesting a tube. I didn't care what I looked like but the stuff felt nice. Octavia smiled and said, "I knew it, Katniss. I knew you had a desire to look beautiful. Are you sure we can't get you some lipstick or mascara too?"

I declined it with a forced smile. The Preps were ridiculous but so fond of me that I couldn't hate them. I didn't know what they saw in me. I hadn't ever been much liked except by my family. I decided they liked me because I was a Victor and had greatly raised their social standing.

Cinna put me in a deep red dress with brown accents and a pretty hat that perched on my head. I saw Prim dressed in a deep violet dress that brought out the subtle grey-blue of her eyes. I walked outside with her until Peeta came up in a dark brown suit and red tie. We were matching again.

Effie organized all of us to stand here, smile appropriately and pose for numerous photos. There were photos of us kissing, dancing, smiling and laughing. I knew it was pointless to try to convince President Snow but if I did my best perhaps I might spare my family. It was a very lonesome hope but it kept me together.

Aunt Hazelle looked happier than she had the night before perhaps because the Harvest Festival was a real District 12 tradition. Vic, Posy, Rory, and Prim flew around eating and playing the "quaint" games that we could offer. I could see Gale occasionally but he kept to his friends. I wondered if he was still annoyed with me over it all. I could only imagine how angry he would be when he found out what the President said.

After the whole thing disbanded I changed into my nightgown and slippers and put a heavy coat on over it. I then sat and waited for the rest of the house to go to bed. Prim was exhausted and fell asleep the moment her head touched the pillow. My mother seemed to be restless until at last, she fell into a quiet slumber. Then I carefully slipped down the stairs.

I think Peeta was astonished to see me on the other side of his door. In the cold air his face was flushed. I knew he hadn't been sleeping but it was still a little odd to show up at his house in the middle of the night. But Victors were strange people I supposed.

"Peeta, I need to talk to you."

Author's Note: So we get the party at the mayor's house and meet all the characters together. Including Mrs. Mellark who is being her usual happy self. I kept with the distance between Gale and Peeta. They aren't ready to be best friends yet. Mainly because Gale is a suspicious person. I also had fun expanding Madge's role in this. She won't appear a ton in this story but if I ever get around to updating my companion Gadge story we'll get lots more of that. We also get a touch of Haymitch and Hazelle. I'm not exactly certain I ship them but I think they could be good as friends and allies much later down the road. I think Katniss's realization that her being in love would be very different than the act she is playing for the Capitol is important. We get a cute little Gadge scene. Katniss as the narrator takes some of the romance out of it. This is one of my favorite scenes of theirs.And Katniss needs to talk with Peeta. What could it be?