Reaching for the tap, John didn't even think to ask for soap, nor even look for it. In his time, during the war, it was not a luxury they could afford. In fact, water in general was not one so readily used for bathing. He couldn't remember the last time he'd actually showed. So when the stream of water fell onto his shoulders, rolling down his back, not even the icy cold dissuaded him.

It was so surreal that for just a moment he let a tiny smile pull at his lips as he just stood under the stream. Raising his face towards the water, it washed over his skin, beginning its task of chipping away the blood, old and new. He was in a time without the constant threat of death, no machines that were calling him a primary target; no constant worry that at any moment a bomb might fall on your head.

His moment was quickly over when he caught his reflection in a mounted mirror to his left and everything came rushing back to his mind. Raising his hands to help the water wash away the blood, John kept glancing towards the mirror.
He looked terrible, like he hadn't slept in days; which was for the most part true. His eyes were sunken and dark, and his face seemed more gaunt than usual. Days old stubble was turning into what might be called a beard very soon. The only thing that made him look better was the now absence of blood.

Moving then to his shoulder, his hands hovered over than bandage for a moment before peeling it off. Even as the hours passed it was causing him less and less pain. Stepping out of the stream of water, he moved to study it in the mirror. Even with the low light he could see the silver specks moving beneath his skin. Blood still trickled from it which made him feel better. It meant that he was still human.

Moving back to the shower, he quickly washed off the remaining blood from his leg and shoulder before twisting the tap off. Glancing around, he then picked up a discarded towel from the bench, not even considering if it was clean or not. He was just in the process of drying off when there was a knock at the door.

"I have clothes for you." Sarah's voice echoed through the room. She was standing in the doorway, back turned to show him modesty and hand thrust behind her, holding folded clothes.

Bare feet padding across the tile, he accepted the garments. "Thank you." His voice seemed subdued, as if he was deep in thought.

Sarah stared down at the floor deciding not to turn around as she tucked her now empty hand in her pocket. "You know, Reese is worried about you."

John laughed quietly, pulling on the better fitting pair of cargo pants as he spoke. "He's always been like that after I've been injured. I'll be fine."

"He said that he sees you like family…" Sarah trailed off. "It's strange how he said, 'like', isn't it? He doesn't know, does he?" When her question was met with lasting silence, she finally turned, watching the man adjust the shirt he's just pulled on. "John?"

"No." The man finally spoke, meeting her gaze. "I suppose I shouldn't be surprised that you know ." He turned away with a sigh, picking up the damp towel to rub through his hair.

"Then you've been manipulating him?" The woman's eyes narrowed for a moment, trying to understand. She wouldn't let Reese love her and die. So how could her son make that choice so easily to a man who sees him as family?

"No." The word was spoken firmly, his eyes snapping to meet hers. "I didn't tell him because he needed to make his own choices. He needed to come to his own conclusions about you. He volunteered to come here." He wanted to say her name to punctuation his argument but couldn't decide if either 'Sarah', or 'Mom' would be appropriate.

"But you knew who he was all along. You allowed him to come here knowing what would happen." Surprise registered within her when she saw John lower his eyes as if in defeat.

"It was…almost impossible…to make that decision." John set the towel back on the bench, turning his back to her. "Kyle is like family to me, it wouldn't have changed even if we weren't actually related. He's my closest friend and confidant and it killed me to let him go back."

Sarah only swallowed, stepping towards the man, listening intently as he continued. He ran a hand through his still damp hair, shaking his head. "I didn't have a choice. To stop Kyle from going meant the end of my existence, but to send him meant the end of his. I spent a lot of time hoping that…maybe something would be different, that in that particular set of events he would survive…"

"I'm sorry." Sarah stepped around the man to take a look at his pained face. "I understand how it feels to not have a choice. It seems like it's both of our fates."

John let out a snort. "Maybe not anymore…" He looked down at her, studying her face up close for the first time. She was so young, her face round and soft still and lacking the visible toll that the war would inevitably put on her. "This timeline…this can be a restart for you. You and Reese….if you choose." Taking her gently by the shoulders, he looked down at her, expression intense. "We know what will happen , with Reese you can destroy Skynet or stop it from ever happening."

Blue eyes wide, Sarah stared up into his face. "But…what about you? You're saying that….but…you wouldn't exist…"

He shook his head. "I am a relic of a different timeline. Whatever happens in this future…it won't affect me as I am now. As for the John Connor of this timeline…I'll leave that up to you."

Mouth parting slightly, Sarah finally understood what Reese had been saying about her son. John was so strong, even now while displaced in time he was prepared to make the hardest of decisions. He wasn't selfish but realistic, and behind that warrior hardened wall, there was a kindness to him. Not even thinking, she stepped forward, wrapping her arms around him.

The somber expression was slowly replaced by a crooked smile as he returned her embrace. He thought for a moment about telling her about his problem then but quickly shot it down. She was finally accepting him as an ally and friend rather than a possible threat. He wouldn't damage their relationship now. Not with something he didn't fully understand yet himself.

Sarah rested her head on John's strong chest, mind racing. Could she possibly delete this man's future from her timeline? He had done the impossible and given her a choice, one that had been gnawing at her for years. Could she live with herself if she turned around and used it to stop John from existing? The truth was, she was scared; scared of the future he had…scared of the life that he would live…scared of the consequences that the sequence of events caused.

But after hearing Kyle speak of him, and after spending time in his presence she realized that she wanted to know him. She wanted to raise the child that would become this man. And she would be proud to be his mother.

Finally pulling away, Sarah spoke again. "What about Kyle? Should we…tell him?"

"Under the circumstances…." The resistance leader furrowed his brow thoughtfully. "Probably. This is his timeline now. He deserves to know…"

"Do you….?" The young woman let the question hang in the air, looking up at him expectantly.

John only nodded solemnly. "I'll tell him."

Nodding, Sarah took a few steps back and glaced the man over. He looked better now that she could see his face, even though without the grime and dirt, his scars seemed more pronounced. She also noticed him favoring his shoulder and regretting hugging him like she did.
"I can rebandage your shoulder and leg for you if you want. They probably need changing." At her words the woman witnessed something pass across John's face then. Pain? No….fear. Reese had said that something was indeed up with John. He had said that he was afraid…and that was definitely a flicker of worry if not fear. His next words only furthered her suspicions despite being spoken calmly and rationally.

"It can wait. There are more pressing issues than me right now. I'll see to it when I have the time." Mind racing with worry, the resistance leader desperately hoped that the young woman wouldn't pick up on his distress. Thankfully, she only shrugged and motioned for him to follow her.

"Then I suppose I'll explain the plan to you and Reese then."