Chapter Seven- The attack on Flabbermastic

Disclaimer- Once upon a time there was a penguin, and he died. The End

A/n: Starrylibra pointed out that people put the sorting hat on and it's a talking hat so I guess that means all of hogwarts population is idiotic it's really quite simple really.

Shout out to all reveiwers RMSOBlue, Starrylibra,and Becky468


So the Hat had been released upon this naive world. The costume ball was fast approaching. Moe still didn't have a date, Ron was still sexually "confused", Ginny was still a red head, Malfoy was still a wanker, Harry was still stupid, and Bubblegum was still bouncing, but that's not what this chapter's about.

Voldemort and his cult of wicked bad Asses were discussing topics of importance.

' How do you think I'd look with a Mohawk'?

'Lucious shut the fuck up, you fugly cunt'

'You said a bad word I'm telling'

'If you do I'll castrate you'

'Well your... Duh-uum'

'Ohhh nice come back butt monkey'

'I hate you, you... you...'

'You what'

'CRACK WHOR'

'Would you two please stop it, I have a migraine'

Lucious and Belletrix stopped exchanging insults. The Dark Lord had a migraine and nobody messes with The Dark Lord when he had a migraine. Just than Peter Pettigrew skipped into "The Death Eaters way cool Secret Hide Out".

'Guess what happened to me today'

'You fell into a hole and got molested by a horny chicken'

'How did you know about that'?

'I read your diary'

'Voldie- bear Belletrix read my diary'

'DO NOT, EVER, CALL ME VOLDIE-BEAR'

'Okay mister grumpy pants than I just wont tell you what happened today'

'Peter I have a migraine go amuse your self'

'How'

'I don't know, go jump into a pit of starving chipmunks or something'

'Okay'

Just a normal day at "The Death Eaters Way Cool Secret Hideout'

CAUTION!! The words ahead may be unsuitable for the faint of heart. If you value a normal mental state do not read any further!

'Severus I can't keep it in any longer'

'what is it Minerva'

'I know I'm older than you, but I can't deny my urges'

'What urges'

'I think you ass is sexy'

'so do I, but what are you getting at'

'I want you to throw me roughly onto your desk, rip of my clothes with your teeth, and ravish me again and again for five months'

'Oh, okay than'

And the two professors engaged in many sexual acts in many strange and exotic positions. Told you it wasn't for the faint of heart.


And that is chapter seven, scary huh. Sorry it took like forever but I was having a insanely difficult writers block, In three weeks I had only the first sentence but than I was playing solitaire and listening to Billy Idol and this just came pouring out of me for no reason well bye

When-turtles-strike-back

And contemplating changing pen name to

Insane-Stalker-of-Hot-Dead-Guy

I whore for Reviews (and altoids)