A/N: Oh, wow! All of you are wonderful. Thank you for your reviews – they really do make my (and any author's) day.
You must check out Gray Glube, ScarlettWoman710, ohyellowbird, Tjoek, Kristybelle, Captivation, and The Walking Reedus. All of them beautifully capture Violate and you must read everything by them (as I have done multiple times).
Oh, How It Burns
It becomes somewhat of a ritual for them.
Next it's Jane Eyre.
And then she introduces him to Milton.
He shows her Yeats and Byron.
After that, it's the Inferno.
She wants him to see what circle he would be in. Then again, maybe she belongs in one, too.
How different is hellfire from his own fire? How different would the burning feel? She thinks hellfire would be preferable to the scorch he leaves behind on her heart, the agony in her mind, and the insatiable ache throughout her body.
"Hey."
"Hey."
They just sit there in her room, her on the computer and him in the chair, watching her. She finds a funny video and shows it to him. His face cracks up into laughter. She realizes that she hardly ever hears him laugh and she likes the sound.
"You need to laugh more often. It suits you."
He looks at her with the most brilliant smile. She can feel the shock registering in her face because she never thought that such a dark monster would be able to display something so full of light.
"You're the only one that can make me laugh like that."
Sometimes she likes to stay up the entire night to watch the inky black of night take over the sun and then gradually recede as the sun comes back up. It reminds her of the ebb and flow of time. She can't help but feel like she is like the Tucks from her favorite childhood book. She has fallen off the wheel of time as they did, stuck in the stagnant state of immortality. Because in a way, she was immortal. She was dead, but she couldn't move on; she was captive in a warped, hellish limbo and fated to stay there until whoever was in charge – if anyone was – had enough of her misery and let her go.
She knows he is there because he always is.
"I know you're there."
Silence greets her response, but she knows better. Her sigh is a long, light one as she shifts on her bed to face where she knows he is sitting.
"Don't make me throw my lamp at you again."
He materializes in her chair as she expected.
"Come on, watch the sunrise with me. It's starting."
He gets up without a word and comes to sit down on the bed beside her. He goes to hold her hand, but she shifts her arm away from his. He doesn't cry, but she knows his eyes are watery because of her silent rejection. To compensate, she briefly leans her head on his shoulder when the sky is sporting its first lines of pink and orange. They say nothing to each other as the sun overtakes the night, but she is content and so is he.
She is sitting with Chad in the backyard, drinking a nice full glass of wine while watching the clouds slowly meander across the sky. She does not particularly like Chad because he can be a bit of a drama queen and she hasn't forgotten that he wanted to take her mom's babies, but she sympathizes with him. She knows all too well how the ones you love can hurt you the most.
"Is Pat still being an asshole?"
A deep, heavy sigh answers her question.
"I'm sorry."
"Are you really?"
"Don't get snippy with me."
He swirls his wine and takes a hearty gulp.
"Sorry, Violet. I didn't mean to take my frustration out on you."
"It's alright."
She points out that one of the clouds looks like a rabbit.
"Let's not remind me about all the sex I'm not getting."
"Geez, Chad, no wonder you're so bitchy."
"You're not exactly a ray of sunshine yourself, missy."
"And what do you mean by that?"
"You're horny for that little psychopath of yours, but you're too proud and stubborn to fuck him again and you won't screw anyone else. He still loves you so much that he wouldn't think of touching any other woman in the house. You're both wound as tight as a coil."
"Shut up."
"Hit a nerve?"
More like the truth.
"It's none of your business."
"Please, it is when I can't get any sleep with your Norman Bates Jr. making mincemeat out of the Tiffany light fixtures at three in the morning."
She doesn't tell him that it was her that time.
"You know why I can't go back to him."
"Honey, sex and love are not the same thing. Having sex with your little monster doesn't automatically mean you love him again or that you take him back. Just think about it as a stress reliever and then you can go right back to whatever fucked up game you're playing with him."
"It's not that simple."
He turns to look her straight in the eyes.
"You think it's complicated, but you're only making it that way so you don't have to make a hard decision."
She looks down at her glass of wine. She's going to need another one.
"For once, Violet, fuck the consequences. You'll feel the better for it."
She has been mulling over what Chad said when he comes into the kitchen. She was cutting up some vegetables and cheese to bring out to her little nest of blankets and cushions she made in the gazebo.
"What are you doing?"
"Getting a snack."
He steals a cucumber slice from her plate and pops it in his mouth, chewing noisily so she can hear the proof of his thievery.
"Hey!"
She whacks him playfully on the arm and his hand swiftly catches hers around the wrist. Their eyes lock and instantly, the mood in the room changes. The air feels colder and hotter at the same time, her stomach is tied in knots, and his touch on her wrist is sparking with electricity. She already knows it is futile to try and wiggle out of his grasp. His eyes have completely changed and she knows why.
"What are you going to do?"
He stares harder at her and licks his lips.
"Nothing, if that is what you want."
"Is that what you want?"
"No."
She trembles at the undertones of lust and longing in his voice.
"Is that what you want?"
"I don't know."
He can tell she is wavering, the battle between the rational mind and the body's carnal urges violently waging for the upper hand. So he does as he would in any situation with her – seize the opportunity to break down her defenses, bit by bit, so she will love him again.
"Let me persuade you."
And he kisses her. And she lets him.
She might have even kissed back.
She knows she kissed him back.
At this moment, she didn't care that she would beat herself up over it later, probably cry for hours over this betrayal, and vow to rebuild her defenses. At this moment, she didn't care about anything other than how fucking wonderful his mouth felt against hers.
But of course, realization had to crash down and screw up everything. She heard the door open and she immediately pushed him away as quickly as she could, breathing hard to regain control over her throbbing heart and the tingle of excitement that shot through her body.
They looked at each other for what seemed like an eternity.
"This changes nothing."
She runs as fast as her wobbly legs could carry her to the gazebo and collapses onto her blankets. It doesn't take very long until the sobs start ripping through her lungs.
Because both of them know that that kiss changes everything.
A/N: The long-awaited kiss! Reviews are always loved.
