Title: curtain call
Disclaimer: not my characters
Warnings: suicidal thoughts—let's say Kurt never transferred
Pairings: none
Rating: PG13
Wordcount: 390
Point of view: first
Notes: these are lyrics I wrote that Kurt might sing, should the situation ever get too dire
I thought about it again this morning
Before even taking my head off the pillow
I felt the bottle with my hand
Sharp and cold
Sharp and cold
Like a blade
Like what I want every day
.
Just for a moment
A heartbeat and change
I thought about it
And then I pulled my hand away
Maybe tomorrow will be better
That's what I thought this morning
But my bruises have bruises
And now I'm not so sure
.
How long can I be strong
Before I'm just too beaten down?
And no one seems to notice
No one seems to care
Just part of the scenery
Life's just that way
.
And I thought I thought
I was so sure I could do it
Be strong till my star dawns
Keep my head up till I'm outta here
Put this one-horse town in my rear-view
And never look back
Never once look back
.
But now there's a bottle in my hand
Sharp and cold
Sharp and cold
Like a blade
Like what I want every day
.
And don't tell me it'll get better
I already know that
That's what's got me this far
But tomorrow's so far away
And I'm drowning now
I'm tired now
I'm not that strong
.
A whole world is waiting somewhere far from here
But the sky can't be reached from a dumpster
And my eyes are burning from the cold
So don't tell me you're proud that I'm still standing
When you never offered me a hand
When you walk on by and look away
When you don't notice
You don't notice
I'm bleeding more each day
And I can barely be bothered to staunch the flow
.
I thought about it again this morning
And at lunch
And with my ears still ringing from the locker
I don't even want to sing anymore
I'm just so tired
And the bottle the bottle
Sharp and cold
Like a blade
This is the day
.
Tomorrow's so far away
And I'm exhausted now
I can't fight anymore
Too tired for the future
I don't have enough dreams left to last
.
And this is my swan song
My final dive across the sky
There'll be no more curtains
The show is closin' down
This is me goin' goin' gone
If you hear me at all,
Hear me sayin' goodbye
