Title: curtain call

Disclaimer: not my characters

Warnings: suicidal thoughts—let's say Kurt never transferred

Pairings: none

Rating: PG13

Wordcount: 390

Point of view: first

Notes: these are lyrics I wrote that Kurt might sing, should the situation ever get too dire


I thought about it again this morning

Before even taking my head off the pillow

I felt the bottle with my hand

Sharp and cold

Sharp and cold

Like a blade

Like what I want every day

.

Just for a moment

A heartbeat and change

I thought about it

And then I pulled my hand away

Maybe tomorrow will be better

That's what I thought this morning

But my bruises have bruises

And now I'm not so sure

.

How long can I be strong

Before I'm just too beaten down?

And no one seems to notice

No one seems to care

Just part of the scenery

Life's just that way

.

And I thought I thought

I was so sure I could do it

Be strong till my star dawns

Keep my head up till I'm outta here

Put this one-horse town in my rear-view

And never look back

Never once look back

.

But now there's a bottle in my hand

Sharp and cold

Sharp and cold

Like a blade

Like what I want every day

.

And don't tell me it'll get better

I already know that

That's what's got me this far

But tomorrow's so far away

And I'm drowning now

I'm tired now

I'm not that strong

.

A whole world is waiting somewhere far from here

But the sky can't be reached from a dumpster

And my eyes are burning from the cold

So don't tell me you're proud that I'm still standing

When you never offered me a hand

When you walk on by and look away

When you don't notice

You don't notice

I'm bleeding more each day

And I can barely be bothered to staunch the flow

.

I thought about it again this morning

And at lunch

And with my ears still ringing from the locker

I don't even want to sing anymore

I'm just so tired

And the bottle the bottle

Sharp and cold

Like a blade

This is the day

.

Tomorrow's so far away

And I'm exhausted now

I can't fight anymore

Too tired for the future

I don't have enough dreams left to last

.

And this is my swan song

My final dive across the sky

There'll be no more curtains

The show is closin' down

This is me goin' goin' gone

If you hear me at all,

Hear me sayin' goodbye