Chapter 7

27 December 2013

Over the past few days patrols have been shit. The weather is shit. The team spirit is shit (despite Smurf being back). Everything is shit.

We have been on three patrols within two days, all being up the mountain CP. It is a right bleeding trek. Surely the boss could have made another section go up once?

And there is the other shit thing. Since Christmas day, the boss hasn't spoken to me, he hasn't even looked at me. I have been thinking back to that night, I did nothing wrong. He was the one who closed the gap between us. He was the one who touched my cheek. But I was the one who leaned into his touch. Anyway. If he can't face me, why should I worry about what happened. I did nothing wrong here.

Hopefully with New Year's Day coming up, everyone will cheer up. It's just a shame we can't get pissed.

29 December 2013

So the New Year is approaching and we all seem to be excited. We keep joking about going to the pub to get smashed and wishing we could all have a beer.

We haven't had any snow since Christmas day. The mountains are still covered but from the amount of a patrols, a path has been cleared. It's still freezing though.

We all head for a mission briefing including 1 section too. It isn't very often both sections go out on patrol.

We all take a seat on the bench and then rise when Kinders, the boss and corporal Jennings walk in.

"Sit down lads…" Again he doesn't even acknowledge me. It feels like the first few weeks of tour! Before Christmas day, I never realised how much eye contact we made.

"Right. Over the next few days patrols will be stepped up. A small group of insurgents are planning an attack on the CP. 2 section will patrol in the morning until early noon and 1 section will patrol from the afternoon until late at night where the ANA will take over. Is that understood?"

"Sir." We all reply in unison.

"Medic.." Oh shit, he is talking to me. I look up at him and he continues.

"..You will head to the mountain with 2 section and return with 1, understand?"

"Yes sir.." Oh great I get the bleeding long shift don't I? But at least he has spoken to me. Although he referred me as the medic and not Dawes at least he hasn't forgotten about me.

We are dismissed from the briefing and I head into the med tent. I put the heater on and read the letters my mum had sent me at Christmas. Again they have me in tears, maybe I shouldn't read them if they I end up in a state like this.

There is a pat on the tent door. Wiping my tears away I stand up and tell whoever it is to come in.

"I need you to check over my blisters Dawes." Well I never thought I would see his face around here any time soon.

"Sir." Keep it strictly professional Molly. If he wants to act as if nothing happened, so can you.

He takes a seat on the med bed and begins to take his socks and shoes off laying them gently on the ground.

I put some gloves on and kneel at his feet. His blisters are healing. They are not as bad as before but they still need treating.

We are both quiet whilst I dress his blisters and I can't help but feel he is watching me. Whilst on the floor I pick up the equipment I used to dress his blisters and stand up.

"There ya go Sir." I turn and dispose of my gloves and the antiseptic wipes in the bin. I expect him to just say thanks and be on his way but he hasn't said anything and just stays where he is, sat on the bed.

"Tha everythen sir?"

He still doesn't reply. What the hell am I meant to say, or even do? Do I just walk out and leave him here? After cleaning up he is still watching me, very closely.

"Sir, is everything ok?" I can't help myself. Maybe he will enlighten me about what happened on Christmas day.

He bends down and begins to put his socks and shoes back on.

"Just let the lads know we will be leaving at 0500 tomorrow. You'll be stuck with me all day Dawes." He smiles. I haven't seen him smile since Christmas day and I had forgotten how beautiful it is. The awkwardness seems to have disappeared.

"Well, lucky you Sir.."

"Indeed." He walks out not looking behind him. What am I meant to think after that? Maybe he was just being sarcastic. He is good at that, he does it with the lads.

30 December 2013

The weather report for today. Very cloudy, it has warmed up a little, I actually broke into a sweat whilst walking up to the mountain. There is still snow on the grounds though and I really am sick of seeing it, but I suppose I will moan when all we see is sand in a few weeks/months.

The lads seem back to their usual selves today. I am not sure if it is because of the threat on the CP or the fact that it is New Year's Eve tomorrow, either way, I'm happy that they're happy.

This morning Dangles has had the piss taken out of him. Apparently he has Small sized boxers and they won't let the subject go. This is how bad it is getting out here, they pick on the smallest of things.

We have been sat at the mountain CP for 7 hours and it's boring. I'm just sat in the temp med centre going over the equipment again and again. The lads come in one at a time to have a little break. Even though I don't have a heater in here, it is still warmer than being out there in the wind.

On the walk up here, the boss stayed in front. He didn't say a word to anyone. I don't understand his mood swings. How am I meant to spend more than 16 hours a day with someone who won't even look at me?

I'm just sat here bored. I can't really say it is pointless being here but I can't help but think what will happen once we leave here. I mean, we are here to protect the village but will the ANA continue when we leave? Will the girls ever be allowed to go to school? My thoughts are disturbed.

"Alright Mols…" It's Smurf. It must be his turn for a break.

I don't respond and he sits next to me on the temp bed.

"Everythin ok Smurf?" He really doesn't seem himself.

"Yea, ma mum. I'd just rather be with her this time of year than be here." Who wouldn't? But I do feel sorry for his mum. Smurf lost his brother on tour two years ago. The boss was his captain then, apparently he crawled 500 metres to retrieve his body. Again, this is probably why the lads respect him so much.

"I'm sure she would ave ya there as well. Then again, she probably loves the peace 'n quiet!"

I nudge him with my elbow and he laughs a bit.

"So, what have ah missed?"

"There's not much to tell ya.." I try to think of anything that has happened in the FOB but the only thing that comes to mind is me and the boss. What is wrong with me?

"Oh.. Thomson from 3 section managed to get 'imself knocked out. Wrong place at the wrong time kinda thing." He laughs and I explain what actually happened.

"Alright then Fellas.." We hear Kinders outside and stand up to walk out.

1 section have turned up and it looks like the lads will be soon on their way to the FOB. I'm not gonna lie, I'd much rather be heading back with these lot than be sat in here on my own for the next god knows how many hours. I don't speak to the lads from the other sections, they don't make any effort to make conversation so why would I want to be around them? I could always speak to the boss, but that would depend on what mood he is in.

"You gonna be alright 'ere Mols?" Fingers asks and he looks worried. All the lads turn to face me with the same look on their faces. But I can't help feeling more secure with them. This will be the first time I have been out of the compound without them.

"Dunna worry about me. You lot go back, 'ace showers, cuppa teas and I'll sit up 'ere freezing me toes off on me own." They all laugh.