Chapter 7: Truth

Dean descended the stairs in a dark mood. He woke to find an empty bed and an even emptier room with no sign of Cas. There wasn't even the slightest indication or evidence of what happened between them last night. The only thing left was the memories burned into his mind.

Images of Cas, gasping out as he reached his moment of rapture, how his body felt pressed against his, the way he cried out his name…

Dean moaned, resisting the tension building at the base of his cock. Damnit, why did Cas have to turn him on so thoroughly that he even woke up with a hard on, well harder than usual and ready to jump his bones. But Cas had left. And the darkness of that, wavered heavily over Dean now.

After the sudden realization last night that he loved Cas, Dean knew he needed to time to sort out his feelings. Or he feared he'd get all mushy gooey the next time he saw his handsome, blue-eyed angel.

When he reached the bottom of the stairs, Bobby didn't even glance up from his stack of books as he said, "Coffee and breakfast is in the kitchen."

"Where's Cas?" Dean heard himself ask. He tried not to wince at how needy it sounded but Bobby didn't seem to notice as he answered.

"Cas and Balthazar went to see if they could dig up anymore dirt on this she-bitch for us."

Dean nodded, then grumbled a thanks and shuffled into the kitchen, smelling the coffee and sighing. He pushed down the thoughts of Cas and wanting to know where he was, what he was doing and how come he didn't wake him up this morning before he left. Dean smirked at the thought of Cas giving him a good morning kiss. He liked the idea too much.

The coffee smelled so good all of a sudden. Sam sat at the kitchen table, a half eaten plate sat before him as he sat unmoving, cup of coffee wrapped in his hands. Dean poured his cup and turned to glance over his shoulder, noticing his little brother looked downright irritated and it was barely nine in the morning. So what had his panties in a wad? He decided he'd let Sam problems distract him from his own angel problems.

Dean wordlessly gestured to the coffee cup in Sam's hand. Sam pulled himself out of his moody trance and nodded, as Dean poured fresh coffee in his cup.

Sam muttered a thanks and took a sip. Dean took a breath and sat across from him, reaching for the brown paper bag filled of wonderfully smelly food. His eyes returned to Sam though. There was a sad anger in those usually kind eyes. His hair was a shaggy mess and his face taunt and distant.

Dean put his food out before him and was about to take a bite, when he finally asked, "What's wrong with you?"

Sam didn't answer or even look up.

Dean put his breakfast sandwich down though his stomach protested. He glared at his all-too-quiet brother, "C'mon- it looks like someone hit you with a freight train last night."

Sam finally gazed up, locking his big brown eyes on him, slightly unnerving Dean. "It's nothing," he stated flatly.

"I know you- whatever's got you this pissed off, isn't nuthin'."

"I'm fine," Sam hissed out lowly.

"You either tell me or I beat outta you." Dean threatened easily.

"Why can't you just leave it alone?"

"Cause I'm you're nosey, stubborn ass of a brother. And I wanna know who got you all pissy this morning." He countered, knowing Sam that if he really didn't want to say anything, then he wouldn't and Dean would accept that. But it still didn't mean he couldn't try to wrangle some answers out of him.

"Fine…" he snapped, though his voice dropped considerably so that Bobby couldn't hear. Dean suddenly felt uneasy again, not knowing what Sam was about to tell him. He hunkered closer to the table, waiting for the bomb to drop.

Sam gritted his teeth and finally said, "Its Balthazar…"

"What?" Dean asked. He hadn't expected that response. "What'd he do now?"

Sam let the anger drain from his features as his voice turned cold and emotionless, "We had sex."

A sudden, unexpected burst of laughter erupted from Dean. He continued chuckling as he took a bite of his sandwich. "Right…" Dean said with a mouth full, "you really expect me to believe that?"

He gazed back up at Sam, still amused. Except when he was greeted with those angry, cold eyes, he paused. "Wait- what?" Dean asked suddenly flabbergasted.

"Yeah, I know…" Sam said and picked up his coffee cup to take a sip.

Dean suddenly lost his appetite and pushed his food aside, frowning. "You and Balthazar?" he asked in a hushed whisper, needing some serious clarification on what he obviously missed.

"No- just me, apparently." Sam muttered gloomily.

Dean shook his head as if trying to shake off the disbelief. "What do you mean?" He asked, though not knowing if he really wanted to know the answer.

Sam sighed into his coffee, reluctant to talk all of a sudden. "I was just another notch on his belt, I guess." He muttered, and then angrily said more to himself than Dean, "I should've known. I don't know why I let myself fall into his trap. I just let my dick think for me."

"Whoa…" Dean said, already being overwhelmed by too much information and the images of them screwing was the last thing he needed in his brain.

"Sorry," Sam apologized with his soft, puppy expression.

"It's cool- just leave out all that stuff."

Sam stared at in, surprised. "So you don't care that I was with Balthazar?"

Dean nodded, "Yeah- I care. It's Balthazar," he said not hiding his disgust. "I don't like the guy. But if you wanna know if I care that it's because you're with another dude…?" He shrugged indifferently, "Then no, I don't."

He knew better than to pass judgment on his brother, especially over something like that. He had Cas. Sam had Balthazar. But it sounded like their relationship was over, or just really complicated. Kind of like with him and Cas, he thought bitterly. Why did he have to be such an ass last night to him? Cas didn't deserve that. Hell, he deserved a lot better than what Dean had to offer.

Sam smiled thinly, grateful that Dean understood. "Thanks," he said sincerely. "Well, it makes sense that you wouldn't care."

Dean sipped his coffee, frowning in confusion, waiting for Sam to elaborate.

"You and Cas," Sam stated firmly.

Dean gulped the burning coffee and felt the shock slam into him. "What do you mean- me and Cas?"

Sam shrugged, "I dunno- I can tell there's something there. I mean, the way you looked at him nearly the entire trip to Bobby's house made me kinda put two and two together. Plus, his explanation on being at our motel room that night- sucked. Cas is a crappy liar," he said honestly.

Dean gaped at him, "You knew and didn't say anything?"

He nodded, "I was a bit distracted with my own angel at the moment to be worried about you two."

"Great," Dean grumbled.

"But I'm right- right?" he asked.

Dean clenched his jaw, not wanting to open this can of worms, but he knew he'd have too, especially after Sam was honest to him. "Yes," Dean said slowly. "Me and Cas…" are together? He paused, unsure himself if that was what he wanted to say. Sam stared at him, waiting patiently and with a soft, unspoken understanding in his expression. Dean felt the barriers around the wall of his heart drop. "I love him," Dean gruffed out uncertainly.

Sam's eyebrows rose in shock. He hesitated before finally saying, "Does he know?"

Dean felt his mouth go dry and his heart plummet. No, Castiel had no idea of his feelings because Dean was a stupid idiot that feared abandonment and rejection. All he could do was shake his head and stare down at his cold breakfast sandwich in shame and regret.

He heard Sam take in a breath, "Cas is a good guy. I'm sure he doesn't even care just as long as you two are together."

Dean cleared his throat uncomfortably, "Yeah." He responded absently and got up to get more coffee. He could barely face this issue himself and talking about it out loud to Sam, made him feel worse. He needed to talk to Cas. And just tell him the truth. That he loved the angel from practically day one.

Standing at the kitchen sink, the kitchen lights flickered ominously and the window panes shook. Dean shot Sam a look over his shoulder as his brother got to his feet instantly.

"What the Hell?" Bobby yelled from the study room. Dean and Sam retreated to the study, where they both knew Bobby had firepower.

Suddenly Balthazar appeared in the kitchen, his silver dagger out and bloodied. His clothes ripped, jacket torn and face bloodied. His knuckles welted and stained.

He spun on his heel toward them, his gaze dark and intent.

"Balthazar- what's going on?" Sam asked the minute the angel approached them, who was panting and disheveled. Dean watched as Sam moved closer to the angel, concern etched his face, "Are you okay?"

The blond angel nodded, touching a quick finger over the wound above his eye. "No- we've gotta go. Apparently we weren't the only ones curious about the monster bitch."

Dean saw the sudden flare of fear and panic cross Balthazar's usually amused face as he gazed at Sam. Whatever had happened between them before this, Dean could see the obvious concern for Sam deep within Balthazar's clear blue eyes. Blue like Cas's but not quiet.

His gut tightened painfully at the thought. "Where's Cas?" he demanded.

Balthazar finally pulled his gaze away from Sam and glanced back over his shoulder as though expecting the other angel to walk in at any moment. "Busy…" he muttered. "We have to go- the other angels are hunting for us."

"What other angels?" Bobby asked from behind them.

Balthazar moved towards him and smiled drily, "Sorry for the chaos Bobby. But I've gotta take these boys somewhere safe."

"What about me?"

"The angels don't want you."

Bobby flung his hands up in exasperation, then grabbed the monster book and shoved it into Dean's hands. "Here take this. I don't want the angels to find me with it."

Dean frowned but before he could retort he felt the odd, but familiar feeling of falling swoop through his gut and they vanished from Bobby's study.

TBC