Hey guys. I'd like to apologize for not updating earlier. But if any of you read my other story It Was Meant To Be, you all would know the delay was do to loosing my best friend. So I think I was allowed some time off from writing, right? Anyways I hope you all enjoy this chapter :) Disclaimer: Nope I don't own Twilight...
Song quote of the day: "Giving up is not easy." Last Song by: Dave Days
Bella P.O.V.
"I don't know Kim." I said, as I plopped myself down in the kitchen table chair. "They seemed pretty lovey-dovey last night." I heard Kim laugh at the other end of the phone.
"Wow Bella. Is it just me or do you have low self-esteem issues? All they did was walk away to have privacy. I didn't see any hand holding, or them laughing, running away towards the sunset."
"Shut up Kim." I grumbled.
"Look Bella." Kim said with a sigh. "Sam doesn't love Leah anymore." I snorted.
"Are you sure? Because it was pretty obvious by the way that Sam looked at her that he still loves her." I said. "Even a blind monkey would be able to tell that he loved her."
"Well what do you expect? They have a past together, so sure he may still love her. But he's not in love with her. You and I both know there's a major difference between loving someone, and being IN love with someone."
"Yeah but-"
"No but's Bella." Kim said, cutting me off. "Okay... just listen. Paul and Jared know Sam pretty dang well. So well infact that they can basically hear and know what he's thinking-(A/N Wink Wink ;])- So I can tell you that what love Sam had for Leah is slowly fading into a love that someone would have for a friend, or a sister."
"Are you sure?" I asked.
"Positive." Kim said. "Besides... with what Leah said about you and your parents deaths last night... Well, lets just say if she pulls anything like that ever again Sam might just flip his lid. He's usually a calm man, but I can tell you if he finds anything to threaten or hurt the people he cares about in any way he'll pummel them."
"He'll hit Leah?" I asked, slightly shocked. Kim laughed.
"No! Sam would never hurt a woman. I'm just saying, that he might be a little more harsh to Leah is all." She said.
"Oh... right." I said.
"But, anyways. How are you? Besides feeling a little upset and a tad played by Sam. Because I know what Leah said was uncalled for." I sighed and shook my head.
"In all honesty i'm okay... I mean sure what she said hurt, and was not needed. But I'm fine. I miss my parents, but I know they wouldn't want me to cry over them just because of some bitchy girls mean words." I said. This caused Kim to laugh.
"That should be Leah's new nickname!" She exclaimed. I laughed.
"What, bitchy girl?" I asked.
"No... we should modify it a little, just so she can be called... well... Bitch!"
"Isn't that just a tad mean?" I asked, with a slight chuckle.
"Nope. Not at all!" She said. "Besides you know girls best weapons aren't fists... but words. Oh, and I know alot of few choice words!"
"Okay Kim... Calm down." I said, a smile now on my face.
"What! It's true! Oh, like when she's coming I can say 'something bitchy this way comes'. See what I did there? I changed wicked, with bitchy." I just laughed at her.
"Yeah Kim.. I know."
"Oh you're just-" But she was cut of by the sound of the doorbell. "Were you expecting anyone?" She asked, as I stood up to go answer the door.
"No..." I said, trailing off.
"Oh.. well okay. Anyways I should go, I meeting up with Jared soon." She said, just as I reached the door.
"Yeah, okay, bye." I said.
"Bye!" She called, as I hit the 'end' button."
"Sam?" I asked, once I opened the door, to find him standing on my porch with his hands in his pockets, and a shy smile on his face.
"Uh.. hey Bella. I... I was wondering if I could talk with you." He said. I stared at him for a second before I nodded and stepped aside.
"Sure... Come on in." I said. Sam shot me a blinding smile, which momentarily left me breathless, as he slipped his way through the doorway. Once I gathered my barings I made my way into the kitchen and sat down in one of the chairs. I motioned for Sam to do the same. "So... what's up?" I asked, slightly nervous. Sam sighed and shook his head.
"I'd like to apologize." He said. For what? For making me feel special in your presense? For embarassing me, by walking off with Leah after she yelled at me? "For what Leah said to you." This caused me to snort, in a very unlady like way.
"That's nice and all. But don't you think Leah should be the one to apologize for what she said to me?" I asked.
"Well... I don't think she will." He said. I just nodded.
"I know that. And I honestly don't expect her to." I said. "So why are you?" Sam sighed, and ran a hand through his short black hair.
"Because... I... I just didn't like what she said to you. It... well it didn't run well with me." He said. I nodded at him. "But, i'd also like to explain myself." I raised an eyebrow at him.
"What do you mean?" I asked.
"Well... I'd like to expliain everything to you about Leah and I... the break up. Just... everything."
"But... why?" I asked, slightly confused and shocked.
"Because Bella, I don't want what I had with Leah to get in the way of our... friendship. You're already very special to me, okay?" He said, and those words caused my heart to stutter. You're already very speacial to me... Oh god, I think I just swooned a little. I nodded dumbly for him to continue.. I don't think I could form a coherent sentence at this moment. What the hell is this man doing to me?
"Okay.." Sam said with a slight nod. "Right, well before I continue I want to to remember that what Leah and I had is in the past alright?" He asked. I gave him a small nod. "And what I felt for her... I don't feel for her anymore. I wan't you to understand that." He said, looking me right in the eye, and it almost seemed as if he was staring straight into my soul. Oh dear lord... please don't tell me i'm already falling for him!
"Yeah... I... I understand." I said, in a quiet voice. Sam gave me a slight smile, and took a deep breath.
"Alright." He said. "Well i've basically known Leah my whole life. As is commom growing up on the Rez... here everybody, knows everybody. But, it wasn't until highschool that I started to have feelings for her. I was a junior and she was a freshmen. I started to hang out with her more, and during that time I couldn't help but fall for her. She was funny, independent, nice, beautful, and with just one look she could put you in your place. It wasn't short after that I asked her out for a date. And after that we were insperable. We were La Push highschools golden couple. I really couldn't have been happier, than to have her by my side.
She was my everything. It was senior year... and I was so in love with her, I honestly thought we were going to get married. I mean I would sometimes even picture her pregnant with our children." He paused for a second, with a small sad smile on his face. And I couldn't help but to sit there in shock. If he loved her so much... how could he just end it? "I mean, I already had our future planned out. I got a scholarship to a great college. So I figured while I was in college I could study business and open up my own mechanics shop, have a stable and good paying job. And then once everything wa settled Leah and I would get married, and have tons of babies...But, it was the beginning of summer. Leah and I were going to spend every waking moment together before I went off to college, seeing as I'd only really get to see her on holidays.
It was a tuesday when we go into a stupid fight. She was worried i'd leave her. She feared i'd find some pretty college girl, and leave her. I kept on telling her how stupid she was for thinking that. I mean I loved her, so deeply. So when she left... I just felt so... angry. I, I had to get out of there. To leave you know? So I decided to spend awhile in Seattle. Little did I know my disappearing act would cause some worry." He gave a short humorless laugh and shook his head. "It was weird though, because while I was in...Seattle... I went through some changes. A late growth spurt I guess you could call it. And I got some different views of the world... I also found that I couldn't leave La Push... I needed to stay here. So... when.. when I came back, everything was good for awhile.
I dropped my scholarship, started to work around the Rez, you know keeping it safe and what not, and I got a part time job at an construction company. Leah and I got back together... but it just wasn't the same. I mean I still loved her, but it just felt different... wierd almost. It was as if my heart wasn't fully in it... It seemed like it was waiting for the right someone to come along and claim it. Leah just... didn't own my heart anymore." At this Sam gave me a meaningful look, that made my breath catch in my throat. His warm brown eyes bored into mine, and they seemed to be filling me with an unknown emotion. "She.. She just wasn't it for me I guess. But I couldn't seem to let it go. It wasn't until I saw the way Jared and Kim were together to tell me to end it with Leah. The love that Leah and I had for eachother seemed ameture to what Kim and Jared have. The way they looked at eachother, the way they acted... I just knew I could never have that with Leah.
Sure it hurt to break up with her... but I just couldn't do it anymore. I mean, I didn't still wanna be with her and then one day leave her when the right one came along. So I decided to end it, before it got any worse. Leah took it hard, and she wouldn't leave her house for a while... She just changed. She wouldn't smile as much, she never talked to anyone any more... she was a shell of herself. And I know I did that to her. But... whenever Leah saw me... she'd plead with me to take her back. She wouldn't and still can't let me go. She... she's very determined... and she still loves me. I know that much. But I don't love her anymore... not like I used to. So... with what happened last night, what you saw, and how she reacted... it was nothing new."
"What do you mean?" I asked. Sam sighed, and rubbed at his eyes.
"Whenever Leah saw me talking to other girls while we were still together... she'd get possesive. She'd walk right up to me and kiss the living day lights out of me, or for lack of better wording, give the other girls the 'stink eye'. She just got jealous easily... and that didn't change, even after I broke up with her. She'd just start yelling at me and yelling at the other girls. Saying how they were stealing me away from her and calling them home wreckers or whatever." Sam gave a short laugh, and shook his head. "She even yelled at old Mrs. Jamison, Leah found me on Mrs. Jamison's porch fixing her porch swing, and she just went off. She asked Mrs. Jamison if Mr. Jamison was becoming a bore, and if she liked younger men." Sam rolled his eyes at that. "I can never seem to shake her... it's as if Leah is around every corner." That caused me to laugh a little.
"So... what happened last night is a common occurence?" I asked. Sam nodded.
"Pretty much... yeah." He said.
"Wow..." Was all I said, as I let everything he told me sink in. And during that time, I also couldn't help but remember the conversation I had with Jacob a few days ago about Sam. Everything that Jacob said, pretty much matched up with everything Sam said. But I still couldn't help but feel as if he was hiding something. Something... out of this world. I sighed and shook my head. I'll think and contemplate over this later. "That's... I'm sorry." I said, causing Sam to give me a strange look.
"What are you sorry for?" He asked. I just shrugged.
"For everything that you went through. I mean you fall completely in love with Leah, then you go through... some sort of change. You have to drop your scholarship, and forget about your ideas for the future you had planned. Then once you get back with your girlfriend you find that your love doesn't seem the same anymore, so you dump her. Then to top it off... she basically starts to... I guess, stalk you." I said. This caused Sam to laugh.
"I guess, stalking could be used to descirbe what she does..." He said.
"But... it must hurt." I said. Sam tilted his head to the side, making him look incredably adorable. God dammit! Why must I think of him like that! Adorable, handsome, sexy... if anything, considering we really just met... we're only friends!
"Hurt?" He asked. I nodded.
"Yeah... I mean you still love her- but!" I said, halting him when he tried to protest. "Even if that love changed... you still love her. You'll always love your first love Sam, it doesn't go away... So I know it must hurt, to see her like this. Alone and sad. With what I saw of her last night, I know she's still heart broken. So that means you obviously know it too." I said. "So I know you must hate yourself for breaking her heart... right?" I asked. Sam stared at me quietly for a couple of seconds before he nodded.
"Yeah." He said. I gave him a small smile. "Your very... observant aren't you?" He asked. I just shrugged.
"You could say that." I said. Sam laughed and shook his head.
"You know..." He said. "I can't wait to actually start to get to know you. I have a feeling i'll like what I find out." At that I couldn't help but blush.
"Oh... um... I'm not so sure about that. I'm pretty boring." I said.
"Nonsense." Sam said, giving me a small smile. Then his eyes trailed over to the clock on the stove, and he sighed.
"Do you have to leave?" I asked. Sam nodded.
"Unfortunately." He said, standing up, his tall fram towering over me. I stood up myself, and walked him to the door.
"Thanks for allowing me to talk with you Bella." Sam said, once he was standing outside the front door. I smiled up at him.
"No problem." I said.
"I'm... well I'm actually planning on having a barbeque on wednesday with the guys and Kim, I was wondering if you'd like to come." He said, giving me another shy smile.
"Really?" I asked, to which Sam nodded. "I'd love to come.. sure." I said. Sam smiled wider and nodded.
"Great." He said. "I'll see you then." And with that he walked swiftly down the porch steps.
"Yeah." I called after him. "I'll see you then." And with that I closed the door, and let out a very uncharacteristic girly squeal. Who would've thought, that having a talk about Leah would lead to Sam asking me out on a date?
Well, okay. So he didn't ask me out on a date... but it's close enough.
Sam P.O.V.
So I take it every thing went well then? Paul asked, after my meeting with Bella played over.
Yep.. you could say that. I said. Paul laughed through the mental link.
Now it makes me wonder how she'll take all this wolf business. I wonder if she'll take if like Kim did, and faint once she saw Jared as a wolf. That shit was funny. I mentally rolled my eyes at him.
Yeah, yeah, yeah. Nose to the ground Paul... pay attention.
You got it boss. That warranted him another mental eye roll, but other than that it was silent, and we left eachother to our own thoughts. And like usual, ever since the day I imprinted on her, my thoughts strayed to Bella. I thought about how beautiful her eyes were, how her laugh sounded like music, how bright her smile was... but most of all her understanding nature. So far she seemed selfless, and seemed to pay more attention to what people had to say, and what they felt, before her own emotions. She was perfect.
Suddenly a sickely sweet smell hit Paul's nose, and alerted me through the mind link. Oh shit! That's strong... This is obviously very fresh Sam. No longer than five minutes old.
Alright! I'll be right there in a minute. I thought, before I let a howl loose in the air to alert Jared. It wasn't thirty seconds later before Jared's thoughts entered our own.
What's up? He asked.
Bloodsucker. Was what I answered. Before I saw through Paul's mind a flash of white from the corner of his eye.
Incoming! He yelled.
And WaaLaa! Another long chapter! Well, for my writing standards atleast :)... I hope you all enjoyed it! Review please!
