(Hi readers! Quick note here before you begin, just in case if when you get to the end, you're freaking out - do not worry! I know this chapter reads like it's the end of my series, but trust me, it most definitely is not ;) xx)
Inuyasha leads me through the crowds of other teenagers at Miroku's party and I follow helplessly, starting to think he's going to assist me in leaving the house entirely, but instead we pass the front door and he takes me up the flight of stairs. I glance around nervously, but no one pays us any attention. My heart pounds so hard in my chest, it hurts. Is this the beginning to what I think it is?
I think about opening my mouth and screaming. I think about slapping his face the moment he turns around. I think about kicking him in the crotch and running for my life. I think of about a hundred different outcomes to this situation as he takes me into a secluded room, still questioning myself even to this day as to why I didn't just run like hell out of there!
But instead of what I think will happen actually happening, I do not need to save myself – he simply sits down on the mattress in this bedroom after closing the door behind us and reaches in his pocket – he does not attempt to touch me or grab me or anything. I'm a bit dumbfounded, not sure if I was dreading or expecting that result – watching him with confusion as he fumbles around in his clothes for whatever he was looking for.
He pulls out a little round jewel, then. He holds it out in front of my face as I hesitantly come closer. He stares at me carefully, like he is waiting for a certain reaction…I gaze at it curiously, not sure what I'm supposed to be seeing. It seems to be glowing, but that has to just be the lighting in here.
"What is it?" I ask finally.
"This is the shikon no tama," He mutters. "I'm actually not supposed to have it. I stole it from Kikyou to see if my suspicion about you was right or not."
He looks really disappointed, actually, his whole face contorted with upset. "Are you feeling anything?" He rolls it around in his palm softly. The light shimmers some more and although it's very pretty, I just don't know how to respond.
"Maybe tell me more about it, and I might," I ask quietly, somehow feeling bummed out by ruining his expectations. It made me want to fight to prove myself. I would make myself feel something about it if I had to!
"Well…" He scratches his head with his free hand, now actually appearing annoyed for real. "It came from…the other world. Where we – or uh, I – am from, as Kikyou mentions those who're involved are." He sighs in frustration. "Once this jewel is complete, you can make any wish on it…as was done once before, and what lead to everything getting fucked up and becoming upside down in the first place."
"I don't get it," I whine. "Are you pretending you don't know everything about what happened between that world and here, or is that really the case? If so, do Sango and Miroku know about the jewel?!"
Inuyasha frowns, but it seems I pushed the right button. "Why the hell would I pretend?!" He sounds so hurt I almost wish I'd kept my mouth shut.
I get angry though, also, for his lack of patience with me, and snatch the jewel out of his hand to get a better look. But then, the moment I touch it, I feel a strong pulsation through my body and it starts to feel hot and cold at the same time. It glows intensely – and just as quickly as the sensation passes through my body, it leaves, and I fall down to my knees on the floor, my mind full of thoughts I never knew possible. It feels like all the energy has been entirely sucked out of me.
Yet again, the memories of shooting arrows and running around in forests come back, and I squeeze the jewel hard with one hand and cover my eyes with the other, the now familiar headache coming back stronger than ever before. I hear my own voice screaming in the far off distance, echoing, Inuyasha! Inuyashaaaa!
It feels like trying to shove a square shaped block into a spherical hole. Something is stopping me from getting the whole picture. Before I know it, before I can even try to stop myself, the jewel falls out of my hands, and I'm sobbing.
Inuyasha snatches the jewel off the floor and puts it back in his shirt pocket, looking at me with a freaked out face.
"Kagome, did you remember?!"
I just keep crying, knowing my heart understands somehow…but my mind doesn't, or just won't; it refuses. I can't respond to him. I notice him come down to the floor where I kneel but I still can't bring myself to really look into his eyes again.
"D-don't cry," He tells me gruffly. "Come on! Stop," He takes my shoulders and gives me a light shake but even though I've stopped bawling there are tears still falling down my cheeks and he lets go, just staring at me helplessly.
"You saw anything?" He tries asking again.
"It's like having memories from another lifetime," I finally manage to choke out, forcing myself to look into his eyes. I hadn't seen when he took his beanie off and his ears are held back disconcertedly. But his facial expression is…so…
"That's exactly what it is," Inuyasha replies, uncharacteristically quiet. "Someone sealed away that part of you. That someone who is responsible for us getting sent here. But this means…I was right."
Of course, I think to myself with a bitter and aching heart. When would you let yourself be wrong?
"…If I'm right," He continues, now seeming more serious than ever – "There's…one more thing I can try. Just one more thing."
I look at him desperately, wishing more than anything to get out of this hell. If it meant my life as I'd known it would revert back to what he was implying it had always been in another dimension, with the sealing away of my memory and what not – I'd be ok with anything.
I wipe my face with my sleeve, swallowing all the bad emotions away, and give him a slight nod, ready for whatever.
His ears flatten even further against his head, and I swear he looks embarrassed now, but maybe that was just the shadow going across his features as he gets closer – hey, wait a second—
He grabs the sides of my face and then suddenly kisses me, roughly, urgently. My heart practically bursts out of my ribcage at the feeling of his hands gripping my cheeks, his mouth on mine shockingly soft and gentle in spite of how firmly he does the kissing, no, wait, why do I care about how soft it is!
Is this really what I needed?! According to him, I supposed so, but after a few more seconds of my heart panicking about my first kiss being taken like this, I shove him off of me as hard as I can, sending him facedown into the carpet.
"Wh-wh-WHAT WAS THAT!" I scream at him, scrubbing my lips hard on my arm, but my mouth is full of the taste of his no matter what I do.
He forces himself up and shouts back, "I thought it would work!" He sounds so angry and hurt that I pull away, concerned more about him than myself now. "For fucking weeks I was so sure I could help you remember that way! God DAMN it!"
His face is red and he stands up. I scramble to stand up too, my face burning. "If you were soOOoo sure, then why didn't it, huh?!"
I can't stop blushing, though. For weeks you were thinking of doing this to me?!
His furious expression dissipates into that same gentle one from earlier once more when he makes himself look back down at me, and he grabs me and kisses me again!
I try to bang on his chest with my fists as he does it, but his arms pull me in too tight and I can't physically resist him. But I can't let myself give in either. I keep my eyes open wide and struggle anyway, but then with one of his hands across my back and the other going up to hold the back of my head, it's like I start to melt, and I hate how good the embrace feels.
Then…I decide to close my eyes anyway. Maybe it would help, but I hated helping him be right about me like this. I grip onto the front of his shirt hard, nervous as hell, and in the moment I totally relax I suddenly feel a hot and bright white light flood the inside of my mind. The last feeling of déjà vu explodes into a story book of every memory I'd almost recalled, but never fully did. It feels like putting in the last piece of a puzzle.
I push him away, panting hard, trying to get myself together. His dark brows furrow, but he removes one of his hands and puts it on the wall above my head, waiting for me to explain myself.
"I remember," I gasp, feeling shivers go down my spine. "The jewel! The other world beyond the well! Inuyasha…I remember it all now!"
His eyes go wide. "Did you really?! Do you now?"
"That's why I hit the target with the arrow yesterday," I gasp out. "That's why – oh my God, Sango and Miroku – do they know?! And me! In the sengoku jidai…Inuyasha, I was—"
He's looking at me with what I couldn't mistake as anything but…happiness.
"I was with you there," I exhale, relieved it all made sense. I now know why he'd never left my mind. That was how it'd always been. With the goshinboku, eons ago, where'd I'd met him. Finding the shards of the jewel together as a team.
"But why are we here, in my world now?!" I ask, now really worried. "All four of us…and Kikyou—"
He's ready to reply I can tell, but I cut him off. "Wait a second. I saw you hugging her after school the other day, so what's with all this now?! And why were you so mean to me when school started!"
"I-I can explain," He growls back at me. "All of it! Just hear me out, okay?"
I make a face at him and cross my arms, and wait.
"I…didn't get my memory back at first - that was the side effect of what happened, getting forced into this world the way it worked out. Just like with you now, it came out of nowhere."
"Out of nowhere? This just now wasn't something from out of nowhere," I mutter, unable to distract myself from how my lips and cheeks are still burning. "What made you remember?"
I suddenly remember Kikyou and I cover my mouth in shock. "Don't tell me you—"
"NO!" He shouts at me. "It was a dream for me that brought back my memory, I swear to fucking God. I didn't do with her like you just now!"
Just now doesn't mean never…I think, feeling sore just at the idea.
"But you never kissed me like that when we were in the feudal era," I point out, now kind of sad. "Is there something I'm missing out on still? How much time has passed?"
"…I don't know exactly," Inuyasha sighs. "A while. We all just woke up one day living here as though it was perfectly natural. But Kikyou came into this world too somehow, so I kept going to her after she found me first, but that was before I remembered everything with you, Kagome, that's why I kissed y—"
"When exactly did you get your memory back?" I demand, cutting him off. This would tell me if he was lying, even though deep down, I knew he wasn't - I just...I just knew he wasn't about to describe her as his ex, even if that's what it really was...
"It was some time shortly before the last party here that Miroku had. Look, it was Naraku who did this to us all, obviously. And if you're the last to get your memory back, then it was clearly you he was targeting. Just…why are the rest of us here also?!"
I sigh inwardly. I can't help but trust his simple attitude, especially with the remembrance of our mutual feelings, but then I start to remember the rest, too.
"Your sword!" I gasp. "Your tetsusaiga! Where is it!"
His eyes go wide. "…Fuck," He breathes out, "I haven't had it with me since-!"
"Oh no! That means Miroku's kazaana too, and Sango – wait…why haven't we found Shippou yet?! Ohmygod. We have to go look for him!"
"Tomorrow," Inuyasha interrupts me.
I go quiet. He's right...they're fine for now.
I take in all his adoring features now as I've always remembered them – understanding why he'd been so rude the first few weeks at school, just like how it'd been the first time I crossed over to his world in the past through the well. We didn't even know who we were, and that saddened me so to think of it that way. All the times he'd saved me, carried me on his back, saved my life.
And to think, for this long, we had been strangers.
"Tomorrow we'll look for Shippou?" I ask softly, missing that little fox kid, feeling my eyes fill with tears again.
"Yeah. For sure."
He reaches for me and pulls me into his arms – I'm a little surprised, but after being apart for so long without even knowing, I'm grateful. He breathes into my hair deeply and all of the maddening thoughts I've carried until now are put to rest.
"Inuyasha…"
"Hm."
"It must've been so difficult for you, keeping up that act like you didn't know me."
He tightens his embrace. In my heart, I forbid him to ever let go of me again. What were the chances all five of us would inevitably end up in the same decade? The same lifetime? The same city? No matter what evil befell us, I was as convinced as ever nothing could tear us apart – no matter how much time passed by.
"...God...you have no idea."
