AHOY THERE MATEYS! WHO LIVES IN A PINEAPPLE UNDER THE SEA??? SPONGEBOB SQUARE PANTS! O.o… now where did that come from?
Anyways. Let me see…. Ah yes… the contest… The winning name is Yukio, meaning one who gets what they want. This name was submitted TWICE… DUN DUN DUN… So… who gets the prize of a MYSTERIOUS CAMEO in my fiction? Well… seeing as I'm SUCH a nice human…. I'm going to place both their names in the thingy!
Okay, I lied, the only reason I'm doing it is because Pomite, one of my mental beta readers and a very good friend of mine, suggested that I place both the names in… ^_^
So, coolcalico_girl2491 a.k.a Mia, and Blood-Blossom-Mistress a.k.a Nyoko Mitsu you are going to be guest-starring in this chapter… Well, enough talk for now… *postifies*
I LOVE STARZ
***~*~***~*~***~*~*[Initial Beginning]*~*~***~*~***~*~***
"…" Speech
'…' Thoughts
[He is no longer Seiruu but… Yukio] A/N's
Disclaimer: I own Yukio… I own… Card Captor... NISH-NISH! OH YEAH! CARD CAPTOR NISH-NISH! FLYING THROUGH THE SKY! LOOK! IT'S A BIRD! IT'S A PLANE! NO IT'S A BLIMP! Oh, no wait... it's just that stupid super hero, Shard Snapper MISHMISH...
Anyways… ON WITH THE STORY…. DUN, DUN, DUN,
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Find Hope
Chapter Seven… Discoveries
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Syaoran raced quickly from the library, his mind racing away at a mile a minute…. Which was odd seeing as his school used the metric system…. Who on earth was Koshi? Who REALLY was Mikey? Why were he and that Tomoyo chick so close to Sakura? And why on earth hadn't Sakura spoken to him? Why had she attacked him with that paper airplane? Had she really been the one who had knocked him down? And if so, why? It was all so very confusing.
Lost in his train of thought, Syaoran wandered through the dimly lit library aimlessly; unaware of where he was headed or that he was being followed. He was snapped out of his thoughts when a cool hand grasped his arm.
"Syao!" giggle Connie. "What are you doing? Did you like, get lost?"
Syaoran, being very shocked, blinked in surprise. He had no clue as to where he was or what on earth he was doing. He sure as hell wasn't going to admit to himself or to Connie that he had been thinking about Sakura again. He wasn't going to look like a weirdo in front of a pretty girl. Thinking quickly, he grabbed a book from the shelf in front of him, effectively removing himself from Connie's grip and giving himself an excuse.
"I-I'm just checking out a book. You know, like, catching up on some reading, learning some new things. 'Cause that's the kind of guy I am." He smiled at her, happy at his quick thinking. 'Oh yeah, very smooth Mr. Li, very smooth.'
/I wouldn't be celebrating now if I were you. /
'Pwah, what do you know? I just stopped myself from being a total idiot in front of a pretty girl. I am a genius!'
/*Snorts* Genius my non-existent ass! If you're a genius then Osama's a saint! /
'Osama? Who's that? And I AM a genius.'
/I don't know… some Arabian terrorist or something. I found his name on your short-term memory in the file labelled "Stuff that makes no sense due to the fact that it's in English." Anyway, GENIUS… did you see the title? *Snort, Snort*/
'Title? Euh….' Syaoran was just about to check the title when Connie's perky voice rang out again.
"Really? Like, whoa! I LOVE to do that stuff too!" She bounced up and down, happy to have fabricated something to tie the two of them together. "Like, what's it called? Like, maybe I've read it. Or, like, maybe we can, like, read it together or something if it's, like, too compli… comples… like, too hard! 'Cause I'm, like, not as smart as you Syao!" She closed off her extremely honey-drenched remarks with a hundred watt smile. Looking up at him expectantly, she "innocently" twirled a strand of her jet-black hair around one of her perfectly French-manicured fingers.
"Euh… the name of the book?" Syaoran froze. What was the name of the book? 'Yo, brain… is there something wrong with the title? Anything important I should know about?'
/Nope… In fact, it's very natural. And very primal, it goes back billions of years. / His "mind" snorted yet again.
"It's called," Syaoran, being the idiot he was, read the title out loud before fully comprehending exactly what it meant, "The New World Kama Sutra."
'Did I just say The New World Kama Sutra?' He paled visibly and blushed the color of a setting sun. 'OH KAMI! You made me make her think that I go around reading PORN!'
/No I didn't… you did. :D /
'You said it was okay to say out loud!'
/No I didn't. Please stop putting words in my mouth. /
'MOUTH? WHAT MOUTH?? You don't HAVE a mouth!'
/I wasn't being literal. It just so happens to be a figure of speech. What I said was, and I quote, "it's very natural. And very primal, it goes back billions of years. *Snort, Snort*"/
'Well I thought it had something to do with animals! You know, bunny rabbits and stuff like that! Stuff that GIRLS would like to talk about!'
/Bunny rabbits, as you put it, happen to be the most sex-crazed animals on earth. Or at least one of the most sex-crazed. /
'Yeah, and now guess who she thinks is the most sex-crazed animal on earth????'
/SYAORAN! There is no need to say things like that! /
'…'
/It's not nice to insult animals. You, my dear, must be a genetic mutation. /
'…' It took awhile for his mind's last remark to set in. 'Why you little –'
/HUSH! She's talking again! /
Syaoran stopped his verbal abuse against his brain and focused his eyes on Connie. She, unfortunately, was staring up at him expectantly. 'Oh KAMI! What if she asked me to show her some new moves???? Or worse, what if she dissed me?' Several extremely horrible put-downs raced trough his mind, sending his train of thought off track yet again. 'NO! I will… stay calm! I will… ask her to repeat herself!'
He leaned back against the bookshelves and pulled his left arm, still holding the New World Kama Sutra, casually against his left leg. Using his right hand, he smoothed down his silky brown hair, and smiled directly at her, hoping that his polished move would have the same wooing effects on young Japanese girls as it had on young Chinese girls.
"I'm sorry," he began, a small smile playing on his lips. "But, could you… repeat that? I was… lost in thought." Syaoran continued to smile, even though, on the inside, he was mentally cursing himself. 'What if she thinks I was checking her out? Gross. She is so NOT my type. I mean, sure, she's hot and all… but… she's way too much of a cutesy ditz!' His insides shuddered at the thought of having to spend time alone with her. Sure, she was a nice kind of girl, but a wee bit too stuck up. His smile disappeared, just for a second, as he recalled how she had spoken about Sakura. As though she had been some sort of leper. Like she was a dirty disease that no one should get close to. He placed his smile carefully back onto his face and tuned in on her voice again. She was so… not his type.
"Like, I SAID…" She was obviously used to having people hang onto her every word. That was the kind of girl he hated at his old school.
His eyes glazed a bit, as he remembered their callous remarks, the cold dismissal of him… Once they knew about his family… or his lack of… They had been cold and heartless and ruthless, tearing at him in everyway possible.
Name-calling… He could still hear them yelling… "HOOKER'S BOY! My DAD fucked your MOM! Hell, EVERYONE CAN FUCK YOUR MOM!"
He didn't care much about those words… They were true… he was the son of an infamous hooker in their town. Practically all the men of the town had used her "services" at least once, unbeknownst to their wives, girlfriends, colleagues, friends, and children.
Facts never hurt anyone. His mother never denied she was a hooker… she used an odd skirting of the truth. She was a remarkable saleswoman, and very good with her power of speech. She was able to soothe her friends and outwit the reporters. But she never could keep the most boastful of the males from telling everyone they knew exactly what had happened… or rather what had happened plus several hundred details they decided to add in by themselves.
What really hurt him were the lies he was fed everyday at school. He was not gay. He was not a hooker. That was his mother. His mother liked males, his mother was a hooker, and his mother was the one that fucked guys. He didn't. Only his mother's boyfriends when they were bored. And he didn't enjoy it.
Okay, that was a lie. There was pleasure to be found in those gross, carnal acts… but it was forced! It was his body reacting, not himself. It was his body… the weakest part of him. His body yearned for the pleasure, but he hated it. He hated the feel, the touches, the rough yells, the screams, and the… and the… beatings….
He had almost forgotten about those…. Almost… There was no way he thought he could ever, forget those. God, the beatings… He wasn't in the library anymore… he was in the room. The room that his mother kept him in… The room that wasn't a room... but was… it was a room… was a palace inside a house… full of everything a boy could dream of. Pogo sticks, Game Boys, Nintendos, Playstations, oodles of toys, tons of Lego, plenty of action figures, loads of new games, magazines… It was like… a dream come true. Except for… the beatings… They always occurred in the room. It was his room, his cage, his cell… his torture chamber. Oh, it looked like a palace… it looked like a wonderland… but a torture chamber is still a torture chamber…. No matter what you put in it.
"Like, psychon, psychol, psychonolo… Like a book about psychos?"
Connie's voice cut through his thoughts like a warm knife cutting through butter. It shook him out of his reverie. Or rather, annoyed him out of it. Nonetheless, it had snapped him out of his trance, and for that he was grateful.
"Euh… psychos?" asked Syaoran, his smile faltering yet again.
She blushed a bit, and tried to cover for her lack of a vast vocabulary and her inability to pronounce certain words. "Um, like, you know… Psychos and crazy people?" She giggled. "Crazy like Sakura." She continued to laugh, as though the remark she had just made was the funniest thing ever to be said on the face of the earth. Which it must have been, seeing as it had came from her.
Syaoran stiffened yet again at the mention of Sakura's name in such an offensive statement. But, she was talking about Sakura; perhaps he could use the fact that she always picked on Sakura as an easy way to leech off some information from Connie. He had to make Connie think he liked her. That way, once he gained her trust, he would find out everything about the strange brown-haired girl he lived with.
"Oh, you mean psychology and psychoanalyses?"
"Like, yeah! That's, like, totally what I meant… it was, like, on the total tip of my, like, tongue!"
"Why would Sakura be a psycho?"
"Like, HELLO? You obviously haven't been at this school long, now, like, have you? Like, if you had, then, like, you would know these things! C'mon we've got, like, five minutes of break left! Whatever I miss, I can, like, tell you at lunch. 'Kay?"
"All right," said Syaoran, rather curious. That hadn't been so hard, All ya' had to do was hand out a few long searching glances and Ba-da-bing, Ba-da-boom, ya' got your instant gossip! He started to put the book back onto the shelf, when Connie stopped him.
"Like, you can take it out. If you, like, want to." She smiled up at him and he stared down at her. Stared down at her pink bunny rabbit earrings, her pink cheeks, her pink lips, her pink eyelids, and her pink… everything…. For a second… he was reminded of a large blown-up version of a pink, shiny, plastic Barbie; the kind the little girls at elementary schools always played with. Blow-Up Connie… two for a dollar… He wondered what she would have thought about that slogan.
"Euh, no, I uh, already read it… before. I was just skimming it again." He faltered off, unsure of if he should continue.
"Really? Like, the whole thing?" Her eyes widened in the perfect imitation of shock. The only way he knew it was an imitation was the creepy way her eyes stayed flat while her entire body tensed and jumped to a the dance she had so carefully choreographed to inflate the egos of all the carefully chosen males she decided to hunt. "Like, WHOA! It's, like, so big! That's, like, totally mental," she gushed, her voice laden with too much honey.
"Euh…" Syaoran wasn't sure on what to do. Her intense act of buttering him up was really starting to annoy him. He could tell it was all a sham; she just liked the way he looked. What on earth should he do? He rationalized that there were only two things that he could do. He could tell her exactly what he thought of her and her incredible theatrics or he could stick with her until he got the information that he needed. He thought about it for a moment. He sighed inwardly, what to do, what to do? Sticking with her was probably the better idea. Yeah… probably number two. "Thanks." He blinked.
/Gee, she must be slow. / said his mind, awaking from it's slumber. /She doesn't even know what the Kama Sutra is! /
'Shut up okay? I just want to know why Sakura's acting so weird.' He let Connie slowly lead him through the labyrinth of shelves and tables. 'Besides… Connie is kind of cute.'
/So was Babe, but you didn't want to date him, now did you? Admit it, you like the way this Connie acts, you like the way that she looks. And hey, even I have to say, she's really pretty… But… I know what you really like about her. /
'Yes? And what is that?'
/You sir, like what she represents… Those stuck-up chicks back in China. Sure, she's pretty, but she's just like them! I can tell! Just what's under that pretty façade, Mr. Li? /
'A very unique and interesting personality, just like everyone else.' Syaoran realized they were getting closer to the exit as the lights seemed to be getting brighter. He realized that Connie had again latched onto him, like an owner showing off her pet dog. Struggling between wanting to wrench his arm out of her grasp and wanting to be polite, he let her continue to clasp his arm.
/I agree with the "just like everyone else" part. Her personality is as unique as those designer jeans she and every other rich hussy wears. She's a common Barbie doll wannabe! Don't lie about that, I have that file right here, in my non-existent hands! Here's the thought, "large blown-up version of a pink, shiny, plastic Barbie; the kind the little girls at elementary schools always played with." How much do you want to bet that she's designing her future house with you right at this moment? Complete with three kids, a cat, two dogs and twelve goldfish? /
Syaoran frowned and drowned out his mind's voice… only to have its consistent droning replaced by Connie's high-pitched humming. His mind immediately froze when he realized just what it was that she was humming… "The Wedding March." He yanked his arm yet again from her grasp and stammered out a quick apology, something about his bracelets slipping. He stood still for a moment while he fiddled with the straps of leather on his wrists in the entrance to the library. ' "Free at last, free at last. Thank God almighty, we are free at last." ' Finally, he had used that quote.
"Um, what time is it?" he asked, not looking at her. He swung his head in the other direction, hoping he looked like he was looking for a clock, while swinging his hands onto his head. He hoped that it would keep her from latching on to him again.
"It's uh… like…" she trailed off and blinked when the bell rang. "Like, it's time for class! Like, what's your next class? Like, maybe we can go together?"
"Uh… it's Math in, I think, room 214 with Mr… well, I forget…" He smiled at her sheepishly and rubbed a hand through his hair.
"Damn, I have like, Clothing and Textiles. I'll like, catch you at lunch, 'Kay?"
"Yeah, okay, I guess I'll see you at lunch." He waved at her as she disappeared into the crowd of students, a pink dot in a sea of rainbow coloured swirls.
/Hey genius! /
'What now?'
/Where's room 214? /
'Good question… it's uh… over…' He realized that he had no idea what so ever on where his next class was located. He sighed. So the words he had spoken to his art teacher from grade four had been true after all. The gods just didn't want him to go to class. Now… what was he to do? He sure as heck wasn't going to ask the office for help, he'd look like a total nerd then. And besides, he didn't even what floor he was on, let alone where the office was!
Suddenly a green, spiky head passed through his line of vision.
/You know what would be smart? If you like, called out his name and asked him for help, he might come over and help you! /
'Oh, smart…'
"Mikey! Hey, Mikey!" He called out. The tall, adolescent male slowed his rolling gait and turned slowly, his eyes searching the crowd of class-goers, looking for the one that had called his name. He caught sight of Syaoran waving at him and flashed him a smile. Quickly, he made his way through the bustling crowd and stopped in front of Syao.
"What's up, Syao?" He asked, as the throng of passer-bys behind jostled him around. "Shouldn't you be headed for class? You're going to be late! And on your first day." He shook his head disappointed.
"Uh, yeah, about that… I would be going… if I knew where the classroom was."
Syao chuckled nervously as Mikey looked at him. He ran his hand through his floppy hair, a nervous habit he had picked up a long time ago. Mikey had one penetrating look. It felt like he was… oh, cliché, cliché, looking into his soul. It was rather intimidating, especially when you added in the fact that he towered over his own 5'11" at least 6'. Was this the guy he was supposed to spend the night with?
"I'll help you," answered the young male amiably. "What's your next class?"
"Gah, it's math in room 214. Do you know where it is?"
"Yeah, of course. It's my next class. C'mon, it's just around this corner here." He turned around and led the way through the thinning crowd of students, constantly waving at nearly every person that passed by.
'Whoa…' though Syao. 'He must be really popular.'
/No shit Sherlock, ain't he a dealer? /
'Dealer? I didn't know he worked with drugs! Jeebus, I have to start paying attention.'
/*Sigh* I didn't say drug dealer, I said dealer… dealer. He sells stuff to everyone in the school. /
'Oh, right. I forgot about that.'
/You forget about everything. /
'Hey, I don't have to take this kind of abuse.' Syaoran blocked out his mind's voice yet again and tuned into the shuffle of feet down the hallways. He focused on Mikey's prickly hairstyle. Was that… a safety pin in his ear? Syao squinted and realized that it indeed was a safety pin. He hoped Mikey had taken the time to sterilize it before puncturing his ear.
Mikey stopped in front of a large blue door. Turning, he smiled again at Syao and started to speak. "This is room 214. I warn you now… Mr. Crackatowa is one of the world's most boring teachers… He comes in before Mrs. Spool, and that's saying something!" He laughed and then bowed theatrically to Syao. "Come, and follow me into the deep abyss of boredom." He opened the door and motioned for Syao to follow him. Syao entered the classroom and jumped when a loud noise sounded from behind him. He turned quickly to look at the noise and chided himself when he realized it had only been the door. He turned around to see Mikey and realised that the safety pin clad boy had left him and as taking a seat right next to… [DUN, DUN, DUN] Sakura. Syaoran shuffled into the seat behind her, trying desperately to contain his excitement. He wanted to ask her so many questions… Why was she so distant? Why wouldn't she talk? Who was Mikey to her? And who was Koshi???
As he sat and pondered upon those intriguing questions racing through his mind he realized that he was experiencing an odd emotion. He was becoming overwrought with a very unfamiliar one at that. It tasted bitter in his mouth and burned through his veins, causing him to shudder. What on earth was he feeling? Why did it scorch his insides so? Why was it so intense, so strong? What was it?
And then it hit him. He knew exactly what it was and it shocked him.
Jealousy.
Odd. No. He was not jealous. There was nothing to be jealous of. Except… Sakura's many boy toys. He growled inwardly. Okay, so something was there. He shook his head. There was no point in denying it. He knew that already.
What he didn't know was why he was experiencing this emotion. He had schooled himself against it long ago. Back when he was a child, a young, impressionable thing. Back when the only things that he could have been jealous of were those wonderful families that all the other children seemed to possess.
He had learned, had been forced to learn just why his family was broken up. It was his fault.
His fault and his dirty little devils' fault, the ones that lived deep within him, the ones that he had to deal with everyday, the ones that his mother saved him from everyday, the ones that had ruined his mother's life, the ones that cause his father to leave him and his mother, the ones that caused his mother to lose her jobs and then caused her to become a prostitute without a steady income, the ones that caused his mother to fall madly in love with one wicked male after another even though she foreswore men after every one of her break-ups.
At least, that was what his mother had told him. But there was always that tiny voice that was seated in the back of his head. The one that told him it wasn't really his fault, but his mother's. He squished it down. Thoughts like that were dangerous.
His mother was good. His mother was nice. His mother had kept him instead of sending him away for adoption as some of her "friends" had suggested. She was not at fault. That voice was evil. It was the voice of the devils. Mother had told him about it. She had talked about it to him many times. Though talked about it was putting it mildly. She had beaten it into him, almost once a week, drilled it into his head that that voice was the voice of the devils and that it had to be ignored. That everything she did was for his own good.
She had taught him of the evils of the world, preached to him of her own greatness and his assured damnation to hell. She assured him that with her "love" she would keep the devils from devouring him, keep them from making him do evil acts, keep them at bay… all the while causing a great trouble to herself. And all because she loved him. She told him about the bad thoughts, about the people that would let him die with the devils raging within him, causing him to do fiendish things. The bad thoughts as she put it, or the voice as he said, were made by the devils. They were the devil's way to reach him, to turn him against his own mother, his own flesh and blood that had spent so much of her life trying to save him from them. So he buried them whenever he felt them coming. Sometimes, oh sometimes, he let himself hear them, when he was mad. When he was mad, sometimes, he liked to hear the voice say things about mother. Say things about her punishments, about her endless string of boyfriends, about everything. But afterwards, he was so compelled by guilt that he would do something horrible to make mother punish him. It was the devils that made him do it. Usually, he forced them to the back of his head. And that was where he had kept them. At least, until the twins had come and…
He recalled the reason as to why his mother had given him to Uncle. The twins. Alex and Alexis. Boy and girl. He smiled. Somewhere in reality, he heard a person scoot into the seat next to him. But he didn't really notice… he was in the past.
He did pause though, and he took that time to reflect upon his thoughts. The twins. God, he hadn't thought about them in how long? Not since that morning, but before that, not since… not since the flight down to Japan. He thought back. Alex and Alexis. Boy and girl. Saviour and Saviourette. The ones who had shed the light on his unknown problem. Both in the exact same position as he was. They had said things. Said things that Syao had been thinking but had never had the courage to even acknowledge to himself. Things that his mother had said were lies. The twins had watered the seed of doubt he carried in his mind. The more they hung out together, the more the seed grew. And it had made sense too. He was not evil. He was not wrong. Mother was wrong. Her and her endless train of boyfriends and customers.
He thought back to the first day he had seen them. Back to the day they had walked into the classroom. Both with identical white-blonde hair, identical icy-green eyes, identical menacing glares that seemed to penetrate deep inside of you. They had come to the class alone, together but with another intangible thing as well, as reputation. They were the children of a whore and a pimp. Their own father pimped his own wife, their mother. The name-calling and whispers began immediately. No one spoke to them, but just loudly enough for them to hear every word.
They hadn't seemed to mind. At first, Syao had wondered if they were deaf. Then he had realized that they didn't care what the others said. They had each other. And that, for some odd reason, seemed to be enough for them. Syao had gotten mad then. He didn't understand why they had each other. Why he had no twin to look out for him or that needed looking out for. But then again, he didn't want anyone else to go through what he did.
On their second day of school, the twins sought him out. They somehow… had known about him. They had told him that they could tell if others were like them. Like him… he hadn't even known that he was something to be like. But, apparently, there were others like him… hundred of others, thousands of others.
Alexis had remained the quiet one, swinging her long legs over the edge of the large bough, her solemn eyes gazing out, past the schoolyard, past the church, past the park, out to the mountains. Her long white-blond hair flew past her. It was long and silky. Syao wondered what her hair would feel like if he ran his fingers through it. Alex's arm was swung tightly about her waist, almost like a seatbelt.
Alex did most of the talking at first. He asked him many questions. How old are you? Sixteen. How long has it been happening? I've been getting beaten since I was in grade four. The… the other stuff came after, right before I started grade six. What is the average number of beatings you receive in a month? A month? It depends on their moods. I'd say at least four if I'm lucky, more if I'm not. A week? At least once, sometimes I get it on everyday. Who beats you, your mother or your father? My mother. I do not have a father. No father, huh? No, I don't. Do her boyfriends beat you? Yes.
His eyes had never left Syao's during the course of the interview. Syao remembered sweating harshly as he sat in the tall limbs of the trees as the male twin's barrage of questions slowed to a halt. He remembered the way his heart had stopped when he heard that soft female voice call out. "Can you hear the voice?"
It had taken him a minute to realize that it had been Alexis who had spoken. Taken him a minute more to realize exactly what she had asked. He had just sat there, swaying slightly, feeling rather nauseous. How could they have known about the voice? He noticed that Alexis' legs had stopped moving. In fact, her entire body was still. The only thing about her that moved was her long, shiny hair and it fluttered in the light breeze.
Didn't they know that talking about it brought it out? Her eyes had stopped their incessant roaming. Didn't they know? He had struggled to push it back, push back the words that were spilling out from the back of his head like the excess water rushing out of an unattended bathtub. He had, in the end, succeeded but only after a few minutes of intense breathing. He had swayed a bit more on the branch but had managed to keep himself from falling off.
"You… you know about the voice?" His own voice rang out loud and clear in his head.
Alexis had turned bit by bit, allowing Alex time to rearrange his arm. She had moved slowly, slowly, slowly, like a possessed porcelain doll. Her wicked green eyes had been covered, hidden beneath her pale eyelids. She had stared at him, with her eyes shut, seemingly seeing without eyes. Her eyes had gradually slid open and Syao had found himself staring into the deep abyss of her icy green pools of light. He had frozen as he felt a sudden swirl of emotions whip past him, apparently coming from deep within her eyes: fear, confusion, hatred, hurt, oh most of all hurt. She had hurt, she was hurting, and she would always hurt badly. Syao had then realized why Alex had been holding onto her waist so tightly. Without him there, she would surely have plummeted to her death with not so much as a backwards glance to her former life. Alex had been her lifeline, the only thing that had kept her alive, the only thing that had kept her from leaving behind the horrors of this world. Sort of like a twisted sibling blackmail.
Her head had twisted away quickly. Perhaps she had known that she had shown too much. Her smooth voice had called out yet again, "You can only help the ones that can hear the voice."
Syao had swallowed nervously, looked apprehensively at Alex. What was he to do? He couldn't acknowledge the voice... could he?
In the end… he had. He had had to. He couldn't stand to see the way Alexis' eyes had spun into his, the way he had seen into her soul. He couldn't stand the fact that she was in utter emotional agony. He couldn't deny the voice anymore. If he denied the voice, it would be like denying what he knew had happened to Alexis. And he could never do that.
So… he did it. He had admitted to the voice. He had acknowledged it. He had said yes… there was something wrong in his life.
They had started to talk about things after. After he had admitted to the voice. Things that had… somehow… made sense. Much more sense than what his mother had ever said. Things like… it was his mother's fault for being underpaid and getting fired from her regular job. That a grownup's problems were caused by a grownup's own self, not by a child. That any grownup that went against that was in denial. In EGYPT! In… the Nile… in De Nile… in DENIAL… He laughed silently at that little joke.
He remembered the long days they had all spent together, sometimes in quiet discussion, sometimes laughing manically for no reason other than the joy of life, and sometimes in a deep silence. There had been times when Alex and himself would break the gloom, perhaps with a funny saying or an old joke. At rare moments, they had managed to make Alexis crack a smile. It had been the stupid jokes that had always cracked her up. Ones like, "A man walked into a bar… OUCH!"
But most of the time, she had been silent, staring out into the country. He remembered one time, one time when she had spoken out of her free will. She had said, "They are wrong." He smiled. He and Alex had repeated it.
It had felt good to say that. It still felt good to say that they were wrong. He had been right all along. He wished he had met the twins before. They had kept each other company when the insults were being launched and had even managed to shoot back a few of their own.
It had been his fault as to what had happened. He should have learned to keep his temper under check. He always had before. He shouldn't have let his mother find out that he was still hanging out with the twins. The day she had found out, he had been beaten so badly, he had been taken to the hospital. She had forbidden him from hanging out with them anymore, but what could she have done when he was at school? He had kept seeing them. Until it had happened. Until… he paused his thoughts. He would not think about that now. He thought about the day he had involuntarily turned himself in to his mother.
He should have kept his anger that day under wraps. He supposed, leaning back in his chair, that he had been like a… he used the oldest and most worn out comparison in the book, like a volcano. He had stored up all of his anger and stowed it away… until the day that it all became too much.
His mother had been sitting there… watching while her latest boyfriend attacked him verbally and physically, shoving him against a wall, yelling vulgar words into his ears. Mark, or Mike, or Mel- or who bloody cared about what his name was!
The point was that his mother's boyfriend was yelling lies… Things that the twins had shown him were wrong.
Things like the fact that he was a bastard. He wasn't, he was born while his mother and father were in wedlock.
That everything was his fault, his mother's jobs, her work hours, and her lack of money… He had droned on and on. But Syao had asked the twins questions… questions that were fuelled by the twins' knowledge and their amazing stash of magazines talking about harassment.
He had learned that adult problems like, jobs, work hours, funds, ways of life, addictions, they were all the adult's problems. Their problems, not his. They were just looking for people to blame them on. And he just happened to be the closest thing to blame. He didn't blame his mother for doing that. He was too mature for that. But he had been mad. Mad about his mother, mad about his life, mad about what had happened to the twins… He wouldn't be seeing the twins ever again, oh no. Never ever again and that had nothing to do with his mother. He was mad. Very mad…
That was why he had punched Mike or Mark, or Melvin, or whatever his name was straight in the nose, knocking him out. He had descended upon him and attacked him with his fists, screaming back that he wasn't what they said, wasn't what she said, was what he was, not EVER what they said. He was NOT evil. He continued to pummel at him until he felt a stinging blow against his face, followed quickly by a sharp cracking noise.
His mother had slapped him.
He froze, bent over the inert form by his feet. His mother never slapped him on the face. Sure, she punched him in the stomach, pinched his ass, kicked him in the ribs, but she always, always, always, remembered not to leave a mark. Never since the first episode in grade four, when the beatings had begun had she left a bruise on his face.
And now… she had… slapped him… on his face… and the way it was throbbing… he knew that there was going to be a bruise.
He stared up at his mother. Their eyes locked. She knew… she knew that he had given in to the voice. Even after all of her hard work, he had given in to it. She wondered what to do.
Her boyfriend moaned on the floor and started to rock slightly, his hands reaching up subconsciously to touch the blood. She looked at from her lover to her son. What the hell was she supposed to do now? She thought for a moment. Then she did the one thing she always did when she got into big trouble: she called her brother.
Syao had heard her mumbling from the other side of the room. He had still been there… still stuck staring at his mother's boyfriend's body. He had heard her start talking to this mysterious uncle of his. The only things he had known about him were that he was his mother's older brother and that he helped them out financially.
Some time later, he wasn't sure how long, but the boyfriend's moaning had stopped for a while and then started up again, his mother had hung up. Still with her back to him, she had told him, in a disturbingly quiet and calm voice, to pack up. Apparently he was leaving.
The next few minutes, hours, days had been a blur for him. He couldn't remember anything. All he knew know was that he was in Japan living with his uncle, Yukio, and his stepdaughter, Sakura.
He sighed.
There was a time for thinking and there was a time for working. This, seeing as he was in a classroom, was work time. He tried to think clearly.
Now, this was math wasn't it? He sighed again. Math went unusually well for him. Solving each algebraic question was like solving an intensely hard riddle; it made him feel satisfied in the end. But, back in China he had been very ahead of his class; there had been nothing to do during those times when he was recuperating from his beatings, so he had just gone ahead in his math book. It had all been very easy. He was probably way ahead of the people here too. He sighed again.
"Mr. Li."
Syaoran blinked.
"Um, yes?" Who on earth was talking?? He looked to the front of the class and couldn't see anyone. Where was the teacher? Then again… what on earth did the teacher look like? What was his name again? Mr… Crackass? Mr. Crackersnax? How did he know it was a Mr., anyway?
"If you could please tell me why you are not taking notes, I would be very happy."
Syao froze. Ah, ha, ha, ha… the teacher was right next to him.
Syaoran took a good long look at the teacher. Ah, it was a man. He couldn't have told by the voice, it was so monotonous. He wasn't very old, only about middle-aged. His face wasn't very lined, but boy, was he fat. No, he wasn't fat… he was FAT. No, he wasn't FAT either; he was obese. He was like a jiggling bowl of Jell-O, all three hundred seventy five pounds of him. His skin was grouped in disgusting rolls that seemed to jiggle as he moved. His light blue shirt stretched over his immense belly. His dark blue pants encased his hefty thighs, seeming to accentuate rather than deemphasize. He looked like a bowling ball… a bowling ball with a very weak comb over hairstyle.
Syao hated it when old men combed their hair over their scalps in order to hide the huge bald area in the middle. Their scalps always showed through and you could always tell they were trying to cover it up. Did they really think that it they looked better with that style? Didn't they ever look in magazines or on TV and see all those people talking about how gross comb-overs were?
Syao noticed his huge, bushy eyebrows that fell untidily into his eyes. How on earth did his eyebrows get so long that they drooped into his eyes? Wasn't that impossible? Perhaps this teacher should think about getting transplants for his receding hairline from his eyebrows. That would be interesting. The teacher's dark brown eyes stared down at him.
He cleared his throat. What on earth was he going to say? He ran a few lines through his head.
I'm sorry, sir. The reason I wasn't paying attention was because I was thinking about my horrible twisted past and all the appalling things that my mother did to me. No, that wasn't right.
I'm sorry, sir. I was just going through the most important and highly shocking times of my life, which, if you heard them, would probably disgust you and cause you to shrivel up in shame. No, that wasn't right either.
Now, what about: I'm ever so sorry sir. It's just that I've already learned all of this stuff while I was in China and am a little bit uninterested. Yeah, that sounded just about right.
"Mr. Li! This may be your first day in my class due to that double of day twos in our schedule this week, but surely you must know that I will not tolerate my students not paying attention. And I'll let you off easy today. Just tell me why you weren't paying attention and I will not give you detention."
No detention? All right! He couldn't get detention today, not when he had a project to go to after school. Hey, wait a sec, how on earth was he going to tell Uncle Yukio that he wasn't coming home that night? How on earth was Sakura going to do it too? He had to talk to her. This was serious. There was no way he'd let her get away with attacking him on the forehead with a paper plane and hiding behind Mikey. And he was going to find out just whom this Koshi guy really was.
"I see you seem to be quite dumbstruck Mr. Li. Are you feeling all right? Do you have to see the nurse? Did you, by any chance, have an accident?"
"Accident?" He couldn't have just implied what he thought he had just implied.
"Yes. Did you?" Syaoran froze. Gees, this man is insane…. He zoned out for a second… I'm how old and he's asking me if I had an ACCIDENT? He realized that he should be paying attention to the teacher and zoomed right back in again to his very boring voice.
"It's quite all right. It happened a few weeks ago to poor Johnny K. He transferred. Too much for him emotionally. Not that Johnny was ever very emotionally stable. He was a nice kid. Always did his homework. Always paid attention in class. Oh, right. Mr. Li! Did you have an accident?"
The class was tittering away the entire time the middle-aged man was talking. When he asked Syaoran about having an accident the second time, there were a few poorly concealed guffaws. When he asked a third time, the class all but exploded in laughter.
Syaoran fought the blush as it crept up his face. "No sir. I did not have an accident."
"Are you quite sure son?"
More laughter. Syao struggled to keep his composure and hold himself back from slapping the teacher silly.
"Yes sir. I think I would know if I went to the bathroom or not. I happen to have full control of my bathroom habits."
"I know that, but do you have full control of your drinking habits? It's nothing to be ashamed of. Some people just do not understand when they are full."
"People such as yourself?"
A person snorted. The rest of the class fell silent. Suddenly, Syao heard the ominous "Oooooooo!" noise that always accompanied insults of all kinds.
The teacher's face went red. He looked kind of like a tomato, or perhaps he looked more like a large apple. But, it didn't really matter what fruit he looked like. All that mattered was that he was blushing like a bright red fire engine.
"There is no need to be so, so, so,"
"So frank, honest and in other words straightforward? Isn't honesty a virtue?"
Perhaps he could manipulate his teacher? He always did like to play with people's minds. It had become a habit over the years. He took rides on the subways for fun, sometimes going up and down the same track three times a day for no reason other than finding people he knew he would never see again and creeping the living hell out of them, or making them feel highly uncomfortable, jealous, insecure, outraged, frightened, turned on and a multitude of other emotions that he just couldn't remember at the moment.
"Are you trying to quash my inner child? Are you trying to scar me for life? Are you trying to say that you shouldn't be honest with people? Are you saying that honesty is not a virtue? Are you saying my parents brought me up wrong? What are you saying, sir??" Syaoran put on his confused facial expression.
"What am I saying? I am saying it is wrong to, to, it is wrong to question your elders! Open your textbook Mr. Li!"
Mr, whatever his name was tried to walk off down the side of the class, but Syaoran attacked him yet again with another barrage of questions.
"So, you're saying that it's wrong to ask question to your elders? How on earth are we to learn anything if we don't ask questions? Isn't that the whole point of life, to ask questions and then learn the answers? What would life be without questions? Why, no one would question anything. No one would say, 'Who stole my car?' No one would ask 'Who has killed his man?' No one would ask, 'Who had killed those millions of Jews during WWII?' Is that what you wanted to happen? Are you a Neo-Nazi in disguise? Is this class your way of recruiting children for the rest of your Neo-Nazi fiends? Why are you a Neo-Nazi? Why on earth do you find genocide fair? Why? WHY?" Syao looked horror-struck and he knew it. Those long hours spent with only a mirror as his companion while he was recuperating from his potential stepfathers' blows had helped him hone his acting skills. He was almost as good as his idol, Konstantin Rabinovich. But that was only what he thought; he knew he would never be as good as the academy award-winning superstar actor. But hey, he could always dream, right?
"What? I don't! You learn! I mean of course I'm not a Neo-nazi! Why on earth would a Japanese man be a Neo-nazi? It doesn't make sense! Stop making these, these, vile and wild accusations! They just don't make SENSE!" The teacher was flustered now; he couldn't seem to be able to make proper sentences. Now the fun would begin.
"Unless… if that's what you want us to think!" A look of comprehension dawned on his face. This was getting to be fun.
"Oh god! It is, isn't it? Of course, no one would suspect an extremely overweight Japanese man of being a Neo-Nazi! Because it's so not feasible!
"But it could be! I bet you are! You're in a gang of super terrorists! And you're all Neo-Nazis! You were captured once weren't you? And that's why you're so grossly overweight! You're using your weight as a disguise to get the FBI off of your tracks! But why Japan?
"Of COURSE! Because in Japan you're less likely to be noticed! Isn't that right? A fat Japanese man wouldn't attract attention in Japan, would it? Your reasoning is extremely intelligent for a man of your size! One would think you were nothing but a pompous, exceptionally overweight, balding, vapid middle-aged man with nothing to do with his life except bore his students to death! But you're not! It's incredible! You're actually a villain hiding out from the FBI, trying desperately to act normal! How ingenious!"
The fat man seemed to be flabbergasted. How on earth had that boy's tirade gone from insolence to pure flattery? It didn't make sense! And it had happened in mere seconds. He didn't understand where that young man was headed with his tirade, but if he touched on the subject of his weight again, he would surely regret it.
"Don't worry, sir. We won't tell anyone that you're an undercover villain who's wanted by the FBI for the killing of millions of Jews in WWII! It'll be our little secret, won't it you guys?" He looked around the classroom and smiled as he heard the children murmur with their voices, some sort of affirmative answers.
"We're not going to blow your cover, even though you're an evil old man who was involved with the mass slaughter of millions of innocents, because we think you're cool. Don't we now?" Syao looked out to the classroom again, now thinking of them more as an audience. They murmured affirmatively yet again.
Most of them were in shock. NO one… and they meant NO one ever talked in Mr. Crackatowa's class. Ever. There just wasn't any point. And here was the new kid, talking a mile a minute, and managing to make jibes at the teacher about his weight. Without getting into trouble. It was absolutely amazing.
"You, you think I'm cool?" Mr. Crackatowa asked, puffing his chest up with air.
"Why, of course sir! You're the coolest teacher I've met in Japan!" answered Syaoran.
"Oh, why… well… I see." He didn't seem to remember what he was going to do next. The past few minutes seemed to be a blur.
"Are you going to continue on with the notes, sir? The ones we were all so diligently taking?"
"Why, yes, that was exactly what I was going to do. Thank you for reminding me Syaoran! One bonus mark for reminding the class on what to do."
The overly large man waddled up the aisle and started yet again droning on, in what Syao believed to be the world's most boring voice ever.
Most of the other children stared in astonishment at Syaoran. No one had ever insulted Mr. Crackatowa and gotten away with it. But somehow, this Li, Syaoran kid, he had! In fact, he had even gotten a bonus mark from it. It was amazing! Simply amazing.
The class continued to watch Syao, in case he did anything else important and/or stunning. But they were duly disappointed. He just picked up a pencil and started to take notes.
Let down, they returned to their bleary world between reality and sleep, a state that could only be induced by this infamous teacher and dispelled by the ringing of the bell.
Sakura blinked. Gees, he sure was daring. She had been so sure that he was going to get detention. She felt a surge of happiness flow through her when Mr. Crackatowa walked off and away. She sighed. Stupid Syao! What was his problem? Didn't he realize that Step-Papa was serious when he said he didn't like it when they had detention? He had the wounds to prove it to himself too, and he was still picking fights with the teachers.
She sighed again. And how was he supposed to tell Step-Papa that he was going to stay at Mikey's? Mikey would help, as would Tomoyo. But everything would have to get fixed sometime during school. There was no way that Step-Papa would stand for anything last minute. She turned slightly and grimaced at Mikey, demonstrating just how much she hated that class. Mikey frowned back and moved one of his hands across his throat. She giggled silently. She would have to tell Mikey to call Step-Papa for Syaoran and explain that he was staying at Mikey's house. Same with Tomoyo.
She blinked, stared up at the clock and groaned inwardly. Time seemed to be frozen. She stared at Mikey and stuck her tongue out at him, signalling that she needed to speak with him. He stuck his tongue out and licked his nose. That signal meant that he would lean over in a bit to hear her out.
'Stupid Crackatowa…. Why doesn't he look in the OTHER DIRECTION? Bah. Probably all those girls in short skirts and tube tops in the front row.' Her face fell. Stupid popular freaks.
Oh well, those were the people that Syao would hang with now. She would make sure of it. Soon, she would have to have a talk with him and explain that she was helping him. There was no point in pretending not to know him if he was just going to talk to her like everything was normal.
Syaoran blinked. Gees, this was getting to be very boring. In fact… it was just as boring as Mikey had said it would have been. Syaoran looked around.
Ah, right. Mikey. Located to his right, diagonally. He stared at the back of his spiky green hair. Was it just him, or was it slightly metallic? Or maybe it was just the light.
Syao blinked. This was no time to be staring at the back of Mikey's head. It was "Look like you're working" time. He looked up at the teacher.
Mr. Crackatowa was staring at his projector screen, droning on about graphing equations. Okay, since Syao already knew about all of this, it was time to think.
Syao stared up at Sakura's hair. It was in an odd sideways ponytail, the end strands dangling at her ear. Didn't it annoy her? Did he annoy her? He bet Mikey didn't annoy her. Oh, nor that Koshi guy. He couldn't forget about him.
'I wonder if he goes to our school. Is he older than me?' He paused. 'Probably.'
He moved his eyes off of the swanlike neck of Sakura. He fixed them, yet again onto the back of Mikey's head. Watching him. A pencil found its way into his hands. It started to twirl.
He saw Mikey lean over, towards Sakura. His slim fingers opened her textbook. But Syao wasn't watching that, he was watching his mouth. Mikey was whispering something into her ear.
The pencil twirled more quickly.
Sakura paused and then put a hand over Mikey's. She leaned closer to him. Her mouth was practically touching his ear. Her mouth moved slowly, forming words only to be heard by Mikey.
'Probably some declaration of undying love.' Syao's breathing quickened. He felt something tighten in his gut. He ground his teeth together a bit, not noticing the miniscule effects that were being caused by Sakura's sudden closeness with Mikey. The pencil weaved throughout his fingers, around one, over the other, under that one, over that one, around the thumb, over his index, under his middle, over his ring, around his smallest finger.
Sakura, by this time, had stopped whispering into Mikey's ear. She was leaning back in her seat, loose hairs sliding down her neck. His breathing caught as Mikey leaned over and started to whisper into her ear again.
The pencil whirled quickly through his fingers. He leaned back, taking a deep breath. Bringing his right hand up, he allowed his other hand to join in the small display. He really could do some wicked twirling with his hand. He supposed he should have tried out for cheerleading or something. Ah, the things you learned to amuse yourself with when you're recovering from forced anal sex. Oh the wonders of earth. He sighed and allowed the pencil to loop around his fingers. It was oddly soothing. As he watched, Mikey's hand traced the outside of Sakura's ear. He froze.
Sakura froze and then giggled silently, hand to her mouth. Mikey was really too funny for his own good. He was going to get her into detention. She stifled her giggles by thinking about Syao. The poor guy, he was probably in pain. Those bruises had been big and ugly. She silently giggled again as Mikey leaned in to say more about how he was an expert at phone calls to unsuspecting, or in Sakura and Syao's case, suspecting step-parents.
Syao's pencil whirled between his hands, forming odd geometric shapes and patterns. It whirled in odd concentric rings, causing his seatmate, one that he did not know he had, to gape in wonder at. The pencil sped up as Mikey leaned behind Sakura to peer outside the window. Now it was just a deadly yellow blur. If he were to lose control of it, it would surely take out someone's eye.
He watched silently as Mikey's arm slid easily around Sakura's shoulders and his mouth bit at her earring.
The pencil finished halfway through its dance. It flew from his hands and slammed into the wall, right between two windowpanes. It cracked in half on impact, sending bits of lead and wood onto the floor.
He was suddenly aware of the presence of seemingly hundreds of eyes on him. Oh, what to do, what to? He sat in his seat, looking innocent, his hands folded neatly on his desk atop his notes. He tried to ignore the slight blush that was spreading across his face like hot fire.
"Mr. Li, was that your pencil?" Mr. Crackatowa's voice rang out from the front of the class. Syao looked up. Apparently the old man had seen him. Or had he? There was no point in taking chances.
"Yes sir, that was my pencil," he answered in a shocked tone.
"And why, if I may ask, did your pencil fly into the wall? While I was speaking? Were you not paying attention?" Apparently the old coot had short-term memory. He didn't seem to remember all that fabulous flattery that Syao had showered him with. Ah, time to start again.
"Oh, I was paying attention sir! Very much so! In fact, the reason my pencil went flying was because I was paying utmost attention to your teaching." He smiled innocently at him.
Mr. Crackatowa frowned. What on earth was this child trying to do? Blame this disruption on his teaching? There was nothing wrong with his teaching! In fact, it was the best! He recalled some child calling him cool. Now when was that? He stared into nowhere, trying to recall when and who had called him that. Bah, it wouldn't come to him. He blinked. Oh, right, that Li child. He put on his best glaring face. No one disrupted his class and got away with it. Except for that one child. Now, what was his name? Ah, yes, Arnold. He sighed and got back into his evil mood. This would not be another Arnold.
"Paying attention to me? I think it would be the exact opposite! You were NOT paying attention to me!" He blared loudly, shocking students out of their half-dreaming state. Oh gosh, would ya look at that! The new kid was talking… again! They all swivelled in their chairs, straining for a better look. History was being made, and they were there to witness it. They had to remember every detail of that class so that they could embellish upon what happened and gossip of it to each other.
"I beg to differ sir, I was paying attention! I swear!"
"You were paying attention? What kind of a lie is this? Preposterous! If you were paying attention to me, then why did your pencil go flying and hit the wall?"
"That sir, will be explained if you will just let me speak."
"I am letting you speak!" Blathered the old man, yet again fumbling over his words. "Tell me NOW! Or I shall to punish you!"
Syaoran finished the line in his head, 'In the name of the moon!' Ah, ha, ha, ha, Sailor Moon! Gees this man was hilarious. No, must not get distracted by short skirt wearing anime chicks! He took a deep breath and calmed himself. He had to stay concentrated.
"As you know sir, you were just talking about the graphing equation "Y = mx + b." I, being the wonderfully talented soul I am in math, became extremely interested. You see sir… graphing has always been my love. I find the whole process of graphing to be extremely rewarding. The solving of the y, the casting of the b, the finishing off of the equation, it just, makes me very emotional sir. I feel this odd sort of accomplishment when I work out an answer. And to graph it out and give it a physical form, as in a graph…. Well, sometimes, it makes me teary eyed. It's a very rewarding process, math is."
Syaoran smiled inwardly. He had the class eating right out of his hand, and more importantly, that overweight teacher as well. Now it was time to lay on the sugar.
"And sir, you were just so, emotional, so, so very I don't know how to say it. So, moving when you were up there, that I was overcome with emotion for the subject. When you teach sir, it's like a whole new take on the world. I was so moved, that well, I lost control of my pencil, and it just went flying in my excitement! I'm ever so sorry sir, I just couldn't contain myself!" He bowed his head in what seemed to be a gesture of shame. He was actually, trying to conceal the evil smile that just had to pop up on his face at that crucial moment. Oh well, it made it all seem more real. Now, it was time to listen in on the fruits of his labour.
Mr. Crackatowa blinked and the rusty cogs and wheels in his brain started to clank slowly together. Never before had he ever had to think so much in one of his classes. Usually he just stayed at the front of the class and dictated to the class. Sometimes, he would have to think a little bit in order to dish out punishments to the occasional troublemaker, but that was rare.
He wasn't sure if he liked this thinking. It confused him a bit. There was too much to think about.
This child, no, this young man, he was much too polite and mature to be labelled as a child, perplexed him. At one point, he seemed arrogant and seemed to be trying to pick a fight… and then he did an about-face and started to compliment him. What was he doing? Perhaps, he, Mr. Crackatowa, was starting to read too deep into his actions. Yes, that was probably it.
He mentally shook himself. He remembered back to a time when he had been a little Mr. Crackatowa, big-boned, exited about school, especially his favourite subject, math. He remembered the delight he had felt when he had discovered the world of graphing. His thoughts took a dark turn and he found himself in a hallway of repressed memories. Bullies crowded around him, big, tough, making fun of his weight, his build, and his funny eyebrows. Exceptionally tall females pranced around him, screeching with laughter as he was thrown to the floor, his retainer flipping crooked in his mouth, his books haphazardly scattering on the floor. He recalled the nights he had spent poring over his math textbooks, especially the ones that concentrated on graphing. He would show them.
And he had.
Here he was, better off than the rest of those fleabags, the bullies that had once tortured him were scrounging for food in the garbage cans located outside of McDonald's. He had seen McNair out there the other day. Hopeless, a drug addict, his hands quivering, arms a mass of bloody needle pricks. He had seen Celeste as well. Celeste, the cheerleader, the one that had egged the bullies on and laughed every time he fell… she was a hooker, running a strip down by a rundown bar, Mary Sue's Delights. He was better than them, better off then them, and he was a better person. He could still emphasize with them. They had messed up. Now they were paying for it. He wouldn't forgive what they had done to him and his friends and to countless other people. But he could feel sorry for them and what they had become. He supposed that in a weird way, they probably felt sorry for the people that actually did grow up and mature and stop taking drugs and going to wild parties.
Ah, class. He was in class. He… what was he doing? Ah yes, chiding this young man, what was his name? Ah, yes, Li, Syaoran. He was reprimanding him for disrupting class. He looked like the old bullies he had dealt with in his high school years, but he acted like himself. He smiled. Such a young man, full of hope and life. He sincerely hoped that he would get in with a good crowd and make something of himself. That Syaoran kid reminded him of himself as a child. He would have to tell his wife, Betsy about him.
Syaoran blinked. How long did it take that man to process a thought? Or perhaps, he had been so shocked that he had had a heart attack on the spot and had and extremely quick onset of rigor mortis? Surely not, rigor mortis couldn't start that quick. Or perhaps he had a nervous breakdown and at the moment was screaming on the inside of his body. Or not. Well, he could have been sprayed with an all-purpose, sticky substance that froze him to the spot by tiny invisible aliens that were going to take over the world. Or not. Before he could make up any more fantastic ideas, he was moving again.
"Don't worry son," came out his voice, rich and booming, with more life than anyone else had ever heard him speak in for years. The class gaped at each other. This was turning out to be one hell of a class. First, a new kid, then the new kid talked, then he mouthed off to the teacher, then Mr. Crackatowa ignored it and gave him bonus marks, and then the new kid chucked a pencil at the wall and then, if this wasn't all enough, Mr. Crackatowa dismisses it and loses his monotony! One of the girls fainted; she had been sure it was the end of the world and that the apocalypse was starting.
While Mr. Crackatowa and practically the entire class hovered anxiously over her lifeless body, Syaoran allowed his mind to wander away. He turned his head to the side and looked out the windows that Sakura seemed to find so interesting. And oddly enough, it was. There was so much going on out there that he seemed to be missing in here.
He stared out at the bright blue sky and into the puffy clouds. Clouds always reminded him of his dad. He wasn't really sure why. He remembered… he tried hard to catch the stray memory as it drifted in his head. Something about… the clouds being angel's pillows and someone watching over him. He sighed. His father had been a good man. He didn't remember him much.
He sighed and turned his attention to a flock of birds flying past the school. They were in a "V" shape and seemed to be squawking happily. He could see their beaks moving, but he couldn't hear what they were screeching. He tried to imagine it.
Bird Number One: Do you think we should stop by this weird tall block thing?
Birds Three and Five: Yeah! Go tall blocky thingy! They smell good!
Bird Two: They have cool food stores! I think they call them garbage cans!
Bird One: To the block thing we go!
The birds swooped down to the building, two of them on the roof and two in the courtyard, attacking the garbage bags. The fifth one had disappeared from sight. Syao watched the birds peck away at the ground and at the harsh plastic bags encasing the student body's remains. He laughed. Student body's remains. He had made a joke and not even realized it. Or was it a joke? He couldn't tell. It had been a while since he had laughed at something. His eyes stared out at the birds but his mind traipsed backwards into dreamland yet again. His last conscience thoughts were of how the girl would react if she woke up to the large bulbous eyes of Mr. Crackatowa peering down at her?
***~*~***~*~***~*~***~*~***~*~***~*~***
It was a normal day. He went to school. He was tired, aching from another night of forced sexual activities from his mother's current husband to be, M-Mi-Mel-Mac… he didn't know. He yawned. No biggie. It was just two weeks before he would attack his mother's boyfriend and three weeks before he would meet Sakura.
He didn't realize that anything was out of the ordinary until he was halfway through his first class. There hadn't been a single paper airplane shot at his head. 'What the hell…' Why on earth were they being so nice? He got a little paranoid. Perhaps they were going to set him up for something extremely humiliating and degrading by first gaining his trust? When he found out what had actually happened, he wished to god that it had been what he was thinking before.
He looked around and then realized what the class was gawking at. Alexis wasn't in class. Alex was just sitting there. His book wasn't open. His eyes weren't on the board. He was just… staring off into space, a dazed expression on his face.
Syaoran had been a little afraid at first. Then he became very afraid. Why on earth wasn't Alex taking notes? He looked down at his own pages of notes. Alex always had at least twice as many pages as notes as he did at the end of the day. He had an acute sense of hearing and an exceptional memory, so he could write everything that pored out from the teacher's mouth. But, there he was staring into space, like a mentally challenged child.
He blinked, confused. What was going on? Alexis and Alex had never even been late in the entire time he knew them. They had never even coughed or so much as sneezed in his presence. And… now, Alexis, undoubtedly the stronger of the two was… missing. What had happened?
Evil scenarios ran through his mind. Alex getting hurt and Alexis had ran in front of him to stop it, causing herself to get the brunt of the attack and now she was at home, recuperating. Or worse, she was in the hospital. Or even worse… she wasn't anywhere… she was dead…. He froze at those thoughts and reprimanded himself for thinking such despicable thoughts. Alexis was not dead. The young ice princess could not die. There was nothing that could penetrate her icy façade. Except, perhaps an extremely stupid joke. He waited impatiently for break so he could interrogate Alex on her whereabouts.
At break, Syao and scurried up the trio's favourite tree, oblivious to the nasty words being hurled at his back. He perched on his favourite branch and waited for Alex to show up. He leaned back. Where on earth could she be? He waited awhile, confused. Where was Alex? He knew that walking too slowly from the school would result in several physical and verbal attacks.
Alex showed up a while later, his hair rumpled no doubt from the numerous noogies he had encountered while walking to the tree.
Syao blinked at him. What was wrong with him today? He watched Alex try to crawl up the tree and fail, twice! The guy was as limber as a monkey and now he couldn't even climb this old tree. What was wrong?
The second the blond-haired male scrambled up the tree, Syaoran bombarded him with a torrent of questions. "What's wrong with you? You're acting so weird! Don't deny it! I say you in class! You weren't even taking notes. You were staring into space, doing nothing! You couldn't even climb the tree. And you walked too slowly! You know what happens when we don't walk fast enough! Where's Alexis? What's wrong? Is she okay? Is she in the hospital? Is she sick?"
Syao stared at the young man's hair. He would have looked into his eyes but his head was tilted, so all he could see was his shiny blond hair. It was mussed up now, but he could see how it resembled his sister's. He waited impatiently for Alex to speak. He opened his mouth and was about to start talking again, but Alex had lifted his head.
Syaoran froze. 'His eyes,' he could remember himself thinking. 'His eyes… they're like… hers.'
Alex opened his mouth. "She's sick." He didn't meet Syaoran's eyes. Syao looked at him funny. "I'm going to be sick soon too. We're going to be sick together. We're going to live together." He smiled and looked out past Syaoran. "Together forever. But we'll be sick. But we'll be happy 'cause we're going to be together."
"What are you talking about? How sick is she? What's wrong? Does she have a flu?"
"Yes." He still didn't look into his eyes.
"You're lying."
"How perceptive of you."
"Where is she?"
"At home."
"You're lying again. Look at me." Syao stared at Alex. His eyes still wouldn't meet his. "Where is she? Do your parents know where she is?"
Still he didn't look.
"They don't know she's gone do they?"
"She's sick."
"Bullshit. She's the healthiest person I know, next to you. Where is she?"
"I don't know."
Syao snorted, confused. "You said that you would be together. You have to know where she is if you're going to be with her."
"Oh, I'll be with her. I just don't know where she is exactly."
"Do you have any knowledge of where she could be?" He was getting tired of this. Why didn't he just come out and tell him?
"I do."
He growled, frustrated. "Where? Where could she be? Tell me! I have just as much right to know as you do! She was one of my best friends! Just like you. But you sure as hell aren't acting like one right now! Where is she and why are you acting so weird?"
"She can be in one of two places."
"Go on."
"Heaven or hell."
Time froze. The two boys stared into each other's eyes. Three of birds flew past. They squealed and flew around in circles, amusing the kids on the ground below. Two of the guys started to throw stones at them. One of them connected, stone with skull. The bird fell with a defeated squawk.
"You're lying. You stupid jackass. Don't say shit like that." Syao stared at Alex, angry that he would say something so stupid.
"I'm not lying."
"Yes, you are!" Syao stared daggers into Alex's eyes and growled. "What the fuck is your problem? Saying crap like that! Just 'cause you don't want to tell me stuff doesn't mean you have to say shit about your sister!" His vision went red. He wanted to punch Alex. He wanted to slap him until he said he took it back. Until he admitted that he was lying. He got ready to swing.
And Alex punched him neatly on the jaw, making him fall backwards on the branch.
Syao blinked and stared up at him in shock. 'Did he just… hit me?' That bastard was coming down. He whacked him in the face, leaving a bright red mark. "You bastard!"
He pushed up and straddled the branch, trying to get a better grip. He thwacked him viciously with his left hand and punched him in the gut. Alex doubled over and allowed Syao some time to catch his breath. He shouldn't have taken his eyes off of him; Alex smacked his nose so hard that it started to bleed down the front of his face. Alex took advantage of Syao's disbelief and pinned him down.
"I'm not lying." His voice quivered with emotion. "What kind of a jackass says crap like that about his twin? Do you think that's what I am?" He shook Syao violently, scraping his back against the rough tree bark. "Is that what you really think of me? That I'd actually joke about stuff like that?" His eyes burned into Syao's and he could see the truth etched into them. The horrible, horrible truth.
Syao struggled to get up and then stopped once he realized that Alex wasn't going to let go of him without an answer. "No. I don't. I'm… I just can't… you're serious then? She's… she…." His voice trailed off. He couldn't say it. "That's just fucked."
Alex let go of him and leaned back against the trunk of the tree, knees to his chin. "Yeah."
Syao blinked. His vision had gone blurry. Something wet trailed down one cheek. 'Aw crap… some bird shit on my face.' He moved his hand to his face, to wipe it away and pulled it back quickly as drop after drop flowed onto his hand. Ah… apparently… he was crying. He took of his shirt and held it up to his nose, trying to staunch the flow of blood and hide his tears. He never really liked it when he cried. It made him feel weak.
"How," his voice croaked. "How did… when did…. I don't get it… Who?" He looked at Alex and noticed that his eyes were red. He didn't see how he couldn't have noticed before. He pinched his nose through the cloth.
"She did it."
"No…" Syao blinked back his tears. She couldn't have. She… she was strong. Not her… Oh Kami-sama, not her…. Not happening, not happening… This was a joke… an evil and complex joke made to make him feel like crap.
"This is a joke isn't it? Some sort of weird twisted joke to mess around with my emotions isn't it?" It was… oh say it was… "Gees man! I thought you two were my friends!" He waited for some sort of signal to show that he had been right. That it was some sick, twisted practical joke, made to make him feel like crap. Oh god, let Alexis jump up that tree right now and… and… be alive.
Alex stared right into his eyes, and Syao had an odd wave of nostalgia fall over him. It hadn't been that long ago that he had stared deep into the icy green depths of Alexis' soul, had it? No. She couldn't be dead. It just wasn't possible.
Syao tried not to look into his eyes. He really did. He couldn't help himself from looking though. He was being drawn in. He recoiled inwardly when he saw what was in Alex's eyes. Self-loathing, hate, fear, a jumble of mismatched emotions, struggling to come to the surface, only to be pushed down, deep within him. Syao shuddered. Why?
"It's not a joke." Alex's eyes blinked, he looked away. A tear fell down his cheek. One tear of many to come, one tear of many that had already been shed…. "I wish it was. Kami-Sama, I wish it was." Another tear followed the first. He brushed them away, impatient. He had a story to tell. He had to explain. Why… how… what was going to happen.
Syaoran knew he was telling the truth. He felt stupid for doubting him before. But what else could he have done? He didn't want to believe it. He hated death. Yet again it had stolen another from him. He wanted to kill death. Or at least maim it.
He remembered Ellie. Remembered what she had said to him one day… "Never knock on Death's door. Ring his doorbell and run away. Death really hates that." And Ellie had never rung Death's doorbell but someone else had for her. She had tried to run away. Had failed. And Death had gotten her in the end. Death always got you in the end.
"I… I found her last night." Alex paused, began to delve into his mind. Did he really have to tell him? 'I have to let him know,' he thought. 'He has to know. I have to tell someone what happened. Have to tell someone what's going to happen.' He took a deep breath.
"Oh?" Syao froze. He did not want to hear this. 'No,' his thoughts screamed at him, 'don't tell me! I don't want to know! I don't need to know. I don't want to see her in my dreams. I don't want to know, I don't want to know, I don't want to know.' He paused. 'I need to know.'
"She was doing her homework. It took her a lot longer than it took me that evening, but I've always been faster than her, so I didn't pay attention to it. She… she was… she…. was writing good-bye notes." He paused. "She wrote you one." Another pause. He looked up at him, eyes shining, "it's in my bag."
Syao blinked. He missed her already. "Did she? What… what does it say?"
"I didn't look."
"Oh. I-I guess I'll get it after school then, or something." He sniffled, fought to control his emotions. He won.
"Yeah… after school." Alex stared down at the ground and let his eyes roam about. He took in the scene with the birds. The kids were all surrounding the dead bird. Some of the kids were disgusted by the sight of bird, others by its killer, and some people were disgusted by the both of them. He sighed. He had to get on with his story. He had to prepare Syao for what was going to happen. Alexis had wanted it this way. She had told him so.
***~*~***~*~***~*~***~*~***~*~***~*~***
"Alex," said Alexis, calmly.
"Yeah?" He half-turned, his eyes still on the TV. American shows were so stupid. Why on earth would you eat worms to get money? Even if it was $500, 000.00. You could easily make that much in a… while. He smiled as one young contestant ran off the set screaming, her arms waving wildly.
"Will you leave me for a bit?" Her voice sounded strange. Her request was even stranger. They almost always stayed in the study together to do homework. Whoever finished first got to watch TV while the other did the rest of their work.
"Why? What's wrong?"
"Nothing, I just… want to work on this alone. The TV's too loud. I-I think I'm getting another headache." She swung her head low; allowed her hair to sweep over her eyes, hiding them from his view.
He switched off the TV immediately. Her headaches scared him. She had described them to him once…
It was as though a little demon was sitting inside her brain and was slowly expanding, filling her skull to maximum capacity and then some. Once her skull was full, he would blast away at her brain, causing it to pulse and bash against the inside of her skull at a horrible pace, making her eyes glaze over and her head spin. She felt nauseous and her equilibrium would quit on her, making her grasp at her stomach with one hand and at anything near her with the other, desperate to keep herself steady and upright. She'd often end up collapsing to the floor, her eyes bulging, trying to see where she was. Small noises magnified a thousand fold and the quietest whisper seemed to be shouting at her.
He recalled the hundreds of times he had lifted her, pulled her to their bed, laid her down and turned off the lights, shut the curtains… warded off their parents and their intentions. He remembered bringing her pills and cold compresses… listening to her moan about how she wanted to die… oh god how she wanted to die.
He had held her then. Held her when her tears had wracked her small frame and caused her to stay awake during those long nights. He had held her and comforted her with the small noises from the back of his throat. She would cry then, but fall asleep, still crying, but asleep nonetheless. She always felt better after she slept. But it was so hard for her to fall asleep with the demon in her head.
She hadn't had one for a few months. He had been happy. He had thought they had been gone forever. Apparently, he had thought too soon.
He hurried over to her, wanting to know if she needed anything. His first thoughts had been on how she was going to finish her homework.
"I'll do your homework for you. I know thinking just makes them worse."
He had offered to help her before, though seldom had she allowed him. She was proud of the fact that she was as smart as him, if not a bit slower. She had only let him help her out on the days it had been bad, very bad. The days when she couldn't open her eyes in their darkened room without crying out because of the harsh light. The days when she had covered her ears with both their pillows because she couldn't stand the noises her father was making in the kitchen while he made the morning coffee. The days when she had wept softly in the bathroom, covered in blankets, hurting so bad that she couldn't sleep, trying to keep him from waking up and seeing her in that condition. She hated it when he saw her crying. It made her feel weak.
"No. That's okay. I'm okay. I just-I just think that it… that I might be getting one, that's all."
"Oh. Well, I'll just go to the room and hang out there while you do your homework then, okay?"
Her head was still bent over her work when she answered. "Okay."
"Do you want me to get you a Tylenol?"
"Could you… just get me the whole bottle? I may be in here for a while."
Nothing strange with that, he was used to getting her the whole bottle. Sometimes she took more than one at a time, but that was okay.
"Sure, I'll be back in a sec." He walked out the door and quietly padded across the hallway to the shiny black, white and yellow kitchen. He opened the medicine cupboard and took out the bottle of Tylenol. He looked at it for a second and then put it back, deciding to get her Tylenol 3 instead. She had told him once that Tylenol 3 was her favourite. He sighed. It was kind of sad that she had a favourite headache pill. He grabbed a bottle of mineral water from the fridge. Only the best water was for his mother, she couldn't stand impurities.
He walked out of the shiny kitchen, his sock covered feet sliding over the slippery surface. He liked socks. Socks rocked his… well… socks.
He got back into the room and set the Tylenol and the bottle of mineral water on the desk. He whispered, "Mother won't mind if you take a bottle of her mineral water for this."
He gave her hair a playful rub and started for the door. He was halfway out of the room when she called out to him. "I love you Alex."
He blinked, and then smiled. Declarations of love were seldom heard from the cold mouth of Alexis. It wasn't that she didn't love him, it was that she couldn't put it in words. She had confessed to him once that she didn't know how to say it and hated the way the words rolled clumsily out of her mouth.
"I love you, too, sis. Don't work yourself too hard." He shut the door quietly behind him, but not before he heard her voice call out, "I won't."
He had sauntered into the room they shared, the tiny, little room they shared. All it contained was a small twin bed, covered with an old green comforter; two ancient maple dressers; a weathered and crackling dark blue beanbag chair; and an old TV, propped up on a bookcase that held a can of Pepsi.
He took a drink. It wasn't his, it was Alexis' and she hated it when he drank her Pepsi, but he could never help himself. The can was already half open from an hour ago, when Alexis had opened it while they were watching TV. It was flat, but it was still Pepsi. He took another deep swallow of it. She wouldn't mind. She always forgave him. He took a deep breath. That Pepsi had tasted kind of sweet. Must have been the fact that it had been sitting out for an hour. He smiled an looked around the room. He felt at peace. And rather tired.
The room was small. He knew that. The room was full of junk. He knew that too. He didn't care. As long as everything did what it was supposed to do, he was happy. The other rooms in the house were much more elegantly furnished, like the study. His parents spared no expense on their lifestyles. They needed good rooms and expensive décor to keep their clients interested in coming back. They didn't really care what happened to their kids, as long as they were able to do a trick or two for their guests.
He flung himself down onto the lumpy mattress and flicked on the TV. The bed felt comfy. The reality show from America was still on. He laughed a bit, mostly at the young girl who was still running around screaming, sure that the worms had somehow been mixed into her hair.
He yawned. He decided to take a nap. The day had been rather taxing. He stretched out on the bed and flicked the TV off. He fell asleep within minutes, without even bothering to change. He smiled subconsciously, images of shrieking American girls dancing beneath his lids.
***~*~***~*~***~*~***~*~***~*~***~*~***
He came to a few hours later, awaked by… he wasn't sure by what. Perhaps it had been a bad dream? He couldn't be sure, but he had some odd memory of seventy foot tall hamburgers had been chasing him along the street, demanding that he show them the way to the ice cream truck. He yawned.
Was that sad or what?
He rolled over in the bed to see if Alexis was feeling any better. He blinked. Where was Alexis? There was no one else in the bed with him. Meaning… she had gone to the bathroom. He yawned. He would just wait for her to come back.
He looked at the alarm clock. 12:34. He had slept for a long time. He shut his eyes. He would go get her in oh… fifteen minutes if he had too. She always took forever anyway. He yawned again.
Shutting his eyes, he leaned back against his pillow and took a deep breath. He would only shut his eyes for a minute. Just a minute…. Just a… Was that a hamburger he saw?
***~*~***~*~***~*~***~*~***~*~***~*~***
He awoke again, sweating this time, breathing hard. That had been one wicked nightmare. He'd have to lay off the hamburgers at school next time. He knew they gave him stomachaches, but oh, they were too good to resist. He yawned. What time was it? He glanced at the clock again. 2:13.
'What the hell…' Where was Alexis? There was no way she could still be in the bathroom. 'Oh my god!' Maybe she was still in the study and had had a horrible headache and was now rolling around in pain? Or maybe she had a headache and had tried to get to the room and, and, and fallen! Or something else just as horrible! He looked around the dim room slowly. Could she be on the floor? Could she have gotten in that far and collapsed from exhaustion? He got up and switched on the light.
There was a piece of paper on the floor. He sighed. It was probably just a note to tell him where she was and not to worry. Gees, he sure could get worked up over nothing. She was probably taking a midnight stroll through their mother's garden. Or perhaps she was taking a dip in the pool. He yawned, picked up the carefully folded note and lay down on the bed, a bemused smile curling about his face. He had some odd memory of shrieking American females… he shrugged it away and opened the note.
His bemused smile washed
away from his face rather soon. It was rather funny, if you were watching him,
to see his smile flow away. At first, he was smiling, and then… tiny wrinkles
showed up on his forehead. The corners of his smile drooped, slowly of course,
as though his face was working in slow motion. His smile was soon gone, long
before he finished reading the note. He froze and then you saw his eyes glaze
over, focus on the ceiling. His breathing quickened. He swallowed, hard. The
paper fluttered lifelessly to the floor.
He shot upright. 'No,' he thought. 'Just a wicked bad joke. Oh, how Alexis
would scream when he had his hands around her neck.' He got up and bit his lip.
His eyes watered. 'No.' He had to find her.
The note… where was the note? He felt calm. He knew it was the calm of disbelief. He would use it. He blinked. Ah, right, the note. He was on autopilot. He leaned over, picked up the note, and looked at it.
The study; of course… the study. She must have been planning it for a while. He turned off the light, opened the door. There was no point in waking up their parental units while he was searching for her… her…. Not her body, but her. He was looking for her. He walked out into the hallway, padded over the richly carpeted floor, made no noise that anyone could hear. His heart beat as he stood outside the study door. His hand encircled the knob. He didn't turn it.
He turned around and walked into the kitchen. He took a bottle of mineral water from the fridge, opened it, drank it, spat it out, threw it down the sink, filled it up with tap water and stuck it back in the fridge. Put that in your pipe and smoke it, Ma.
He shuffled back to the study door, slowly. He put one hand on the knob; the other clutched the note.
He turned the knob. The door opened. He didn't look inside. He stood there, staring at the door for a while. He took a deep breath. Counted to sixty. Said the English alphabet twice over. He still didn't go inside. He shut his eyes, opened the door all the way, pushed himself inside and shut the door behind him. His eyes were still shut. He didn't want to look.
He opened his eyes. He saw Alexis' silhouette, still hunched over her work.
"Alexis," he called. "Alexis, wake up!" He whispered to her, tried to wake her from a distance. It was of no use, and he knew it; Alexis was a heavy sleeper. He'd have to go up to her and shake her awake. He didn't want to. He didn't like any of this.
He walked over to her inert body. It was still dark, but a small moonbeam was glowing on Alexis' back, making her seem ethereal. He poked her. "Alexis! This is so not funny!" He poked her back again. "Alexis!" His voice was a choked whisper. She wasn't moving. She didn't seem to be breathing. No…
"Alexis!" He spoke as loudly as he dared. "Wake up! This is so stupid! Stop it and wake –" He froze mid-sentence when he touched her neck. It was kind of cold. He bit his lip. No.
Alex grasped her around the waist and pulled her out of the chair, down to the floor. He propped her in his lap, held onto her around her waist. She wasn't breathing. Her neck flopped onto his shoulder. He tightened his hold on her. No, she couldn't be dead. He took one of her hands in his and felt around her wrist for her pulse. Nothing.
He turned slightly, made her lie across his lap, his arm cradling her neck, her waist over his knee. He looked at her face. It was covered in her hair. A moonbeam lay across it, causing her hair to shimmer. He pulled the hair away from her face.
Oh. She was dead. He looked at her, the finality of her grim smile rising up in his mind. He didn't get it. She was… dead? What was death, really? He looked at her eyes. They were shut. Her lips were together, in a wicked little smile. He giggled. He never would have thought her to be one to smile on her own deathbed. But there she was, smiling. He recalled a few days ago when she had confessed to him that she would die with a smile on her face and she would die her way. He laid her on her back, the moonbeam playing on her features.
He rose up from the floor and walked over to the desk. The note had said that more of them would be found there. He opened her math textbook. Ah ha. Notes galore! He smiled. She was so thoughtful. He saw a note with his name on it, another with Syaoran's name neatly handwritten over the envelope. He would have to put these somewhere safe.
He started to straighten out the rest of the desk. It was filthy. She had never been much of a housekeeper. Neither had he, but at least he had tried… sometimes. His hand brushed the half empty bottle of Tylenol 3. Oh. He understood now. He saw the half finished bottle of mineral water. Ah. He understood that as well. He recalled the Pepsi he had drank before falling asleep. He had felt so sleepy. Of course, the note had explained. Sleeping pills in the cola of course. He smiled. She was so thoughtful, so nice. Had been so thoughtful, so nice. He took the two bottles and the notes and placed them in their room, under the mattress. Syaoran's he would give to him tomorrow, and his own, he would read before he left to be with Alexis.
He took the blanket from their room and walked back to the study. She was still there, lying ever so still, her hair fanned out about her head like a crown on the carpet. He smiled. Walked over to her. Sat down. Laid the blanket over the both of them. He held her in his arms and smiled. She was a pretty girl. He kissed her forehead. He looked at her forehead when he pulled away. It was wet. Another droplet hit her face. He looked up. There was no leak. He felt something wet on his face. He blinked. Ah. He was crying. He looked away from her. He hated it when she saw him cry. It made him feel weak.
And then it hit him. She was never going to see him cry again. He stared out into space for a second, thinking about that thought. 'And why is that?' He felt confused. 'She's dead.' Oh. Right.
He looked at her hair and ran a hand through it. He buried his face into her hair and wept. He cried for a long time, long into the morning hours. He fell asleep for the third time that night. This time he was with Alexis, and yet, he wasn't… and he wouldn't ever be with her again.
***~*~***~*~***~*~***~*~***~*~***~*~***
He had awoken to the noise of birds chirping. At first, he hadn't known why he was in the study or why Alexis was so cold. Then it hit him. He had to get her out of there.
He carried her out of the room over his shoulder, dragging the blanket behind him. He didn't want to leave her alone. He looked at the clock in his room. It was 6:34. He laid her in the bed and tucked the blankets around her. He would have to tell his parents that she was deathly ill. Another headache. Not bothering her would be a good idea.
He got dressed, put Syaoran's note in his bag. He looked at his own note and read it. Just in case there was something important that he had missed out on. Nope. But apparently, there was another note for him in her junk drawer. He would read it before he left to be with her.
He kissed her forehead good-bye and walked out the bedroom door, making sure to close it behind him.
***~*~***~*~***~*~***~*~***~*~***~*~***
"They believed you?" asked Syaoran from his perch in the tree. His voice was muffled. Having a bloody t-shirt held to your nose did that to you.
"There was no reason not to." Alex's eyes were staring out at the horizon. "She had wicked bad headaches sometimes. They wanted to get our room soundproofed, 'cause she screamed so loud; but it didn't happen often enough for them to want to part with the money."
"Oh."
"Yeah."
They both carefully kept their eyes off of each other. Syao didn't know what to say. Neither did Alex. But they could mourn together.
"She was nice," said Syao.
"Yeah. She was the best twin any guy could have had."
"Yeah."
They both sighed.
Suddenly… something clicked in Syao's mind. "Wait… you said… that you were going… that you were going to join her?" His mind wavered. What did he mean by that? Surely not…
"I think you know what I mean." The blonde-haired boy looked out into the horizon.
"But… you can't! You have to live! What about them being wrong?? You have to tell someone! You have to, have to save yourself!"
"What's the point of saving myself if there's no one to be happy with?"
"Life! You said it yourself, life is important! You're the ones that kept me from suicide! You can't just go back on your word and just, just, go off and kill yourself!"
"The hell I can't! Circumstances change Syaoran. Back then Alexis was still alive. But she's not now. Can't you understand? A twin can't survive without their counterpart. At least, I know I can't. There's no meaning to life. The only reason I lived was to keep her from dying. I would have gladly changed places with her, but I couldn't. And now look. She's dead. I've failed Syaoran. It was my job to keep her alive. And I failed." He looked out into the horizon again and Syaoran realized just how deeply Alexis and Alex's bond had run. They would have died to keep the other alive. And now that one of them had died, of their own hand… the other felt deserted. There was no reason to live now for Alex. His whole life he had been keeping Alexis alive. And now… she was gone.
"I don't think you failed. But I understand."
"Then you know how I feel." Alex's voice cracked with emotion, something it hadn't done for two years. "I can't go on like this. I have to go to her. She left me enough. I… I wrote you a note during class."
"Oh. Okay."
"I'm sorry Syao. I just can't go on like this. You understand. Don't you?"
"What about your parents?"
"What about them? They have money. They'll smooth it over. Don't worry about them Syao. It's you I'm worried about. Without me and Alexis…."
"I was just fine without the two of you. I'll be fine now."
"I see. Well… I'll… I'll give you the note after school. Both of them."
"'Kay."
They went silent once more. The two teens quietly thought about suicide; two teens that no one cared for. The children on the ground had hit the other bird. It was dying… slowly… but dying nonetheless. Its wing was shattered. The other bird flew about in circles until it finally flew away, squealing with indignation as stones flew past it in the air.
The bell rang.
***~*~***~*~***~*~***~*~***~*~***~*~***
The bell rang.
Syaoran opened his eyes and saw that the class was quickly emptying. 'What? But I just…' He blinked, wiped a tear from his eye and looked at the clock. 11:25, time for lunch. Gee, time flew fast when you were thinking dark, depressing thoughts.
He got up from his seat and shot Mr. Crackatowa a big smile and waved at him as he walked out the door. The large man waved back as he filled out emergency First Aid forms at his desk for Mia, the girl that had collapsed twice; Once when she heard Mr. Crackatowa's voice and again when she saw Mr. Crackatowa looming over her. Oh the horrors that must have been going through her mind. He shuddered. Those were bad horrible thoughts. She would probably need therapy.
Syao walked out into the hallway. He could hear bits and pieces of conversation as he tried to figure out just in what direction his locker was in. Before he could digest it all, a large hand hit him on his shoulder.
He looked back and up, apprehension dawning on his face and then quickly dissipating when he saw just who it was.
"Mikey! I was just looking for you."
"Need some help finding your locker?"
"Yeah. Is it just me or is this place a maze?"
"It was once a prison. It was made this way so that if any of the prisoners escaped, they would get lost and not be able to find their way out of here. It's actually kind of cool."
Syao stared at Mikey's green eyes. "This place was a prison?"
"Yeah… well… you could call it a prison… it was more like an insane asylum for criminals that went insane."
Syao looked at Mikey in disbelief.
"What? You don't believe me?" He gave Syao a look of shock that would rival even his own carefully practiced gaze. He waved a finger in front of Syao's face. "You sir, did not read the orientation material did you?"
"Orientation material?"
"Yeah, they send a package of it down to your house. It's a bunch of nutty pamphlets talking about how wonderful this school really is. It's just stupid stuff. But I swear on Koshi that the bit about the prisoners is true."
"Koshi?"
"Yeah. He rocks. Sakura's mental about him." He looked around the hallway as though he had forgotten something. "Where's Sakura? Odd. Oh well. I'll just show you your locker. What number is it?"
"Uh… that's a good question. One with many possible answers." Syao grinned sheepishly. "Umm… I think it's 2186… yeah… "
"You think?"
"Yeah."
" Do you remember anything being near it?"
"Well, umm… there was a poster for Student President…"
"Oh, that's good. Can you remember the name? The posters are divided into sections throughout the school. The candidates can only put their posters in their designated section. So, who was it?"
"Umm… I think it was… Nyaki Mitten. Or something like that… Or maybe it was Nyaka Kitten. Umm… or it could have been… Nyala Smitten…. Or…" he trailed off.
"Or it could have been Nyoko Mitsu?"
"Yeah! That too." He blinked. "That's a long ways away from Nyala Smitten."
"You're one funny guy Syao. C'mon, follow me. I know where her posters are. I helped put them up." Mikey led the way through the thick crowd, reminding Syao of the biblical fellow, what was his name, ah yes, Moses when he had parted the Red Sea. It had been Moses hadn't it?
He blinked and followed Mikey's back to his locker. There were more important things to think about now. Like who on earth Koshi was!
***~*~***~*~***~*~***~*~***~*~***~*~***
THAT IS IT! WAHAHAHHAHAH! Gees that was long… ok… anyway… Nish-Nish says… REVIEW BEFORE I BITE YOU WITH MY SHINY NEW RETAINER! :D MWAHAHHAH! *does a wicked cool dance* I love this ficcy.. *huggles it to death* Meow… okay… umm… I'll go start on the next chappy now… I promise! I am…
REVIEW OR BE BITTEN…. GRRRR…. [*loves starz*]
***~*~***~*~***~*~*[Reviews]*~*~***~*~***~*~***
Pomite: way to go to shove it in their faces ^_^
Darkangelkitty08: updating… now… okay… so it isn't soon… In fact… it's so not soon it's sad.
Kikakai: yeah, Syao as a baby is so comical… stupid cow ^_^
angel of light and darkness: aloha V! *Does a dance* ok... umm... yes I thanked him for you ^_^
WezL: well, you don't have to wait nemore ^_^
coolcalico_girl2491: I just got elastics on my braces, sucks to be me… =_=; sucks… neways. Euh… rite, thanks for the suggestions ^_^ and the WINNING NAME…
Baby-Prue: Why didn't Sakura want to talk? Good question. You see… I'm not going to answer it… as I think it will be answered in this chapter. And Koshi, he's the guy in that comic Sakura was reading before… remember? Well, if you don't I suggest that you go back and read my other chapters… *forgets which chapter that's in* oh well ^_^
Cherry Jade: Wonder away! You will never figure out my plot! MWAHAHAHAH! *breaks into insane bouts of maniacal laughter* Um.. yeah ^_^
amber-eyez: blood = metallic… even though Teme sounds like a pretty good description of him… I doubt any self-respecting Japanese person would name their son fucker… ^_^
sexyvamp: Thank you. I love your name ^_^
PeachBerry: Sakura has mental driving skills that I will never acquire on my years on earth, no matter how hard I try.
Emily: *hurries up and updates*
99j: AKU? O.o *looks around for an explanation… what does this AKU mean??? O.o *stays confused for a while and moves on to the next review*
Sakura Sayoran: I know… GO BRAIN CONVOS!
Sarah: ERIN ROCKS MY SOCKS! She is I… or a very exaggerated version of me. :o You… love my story??? *Gets exceptionally teary-eyed* I feel special ^_^ gees, you just made my day!
Evil Emzo-chan: Oh yeah, you're special-full ^_^
cherrysakura5: oh ho ho ho ho, sorry about the brain convos, but they're here to stay! ^_^ You'll get a bit more S&S here… O.o or will you.. *thinks* I'm not so sure… I think it's mostly Um… nah, I don't think there's a lot in this chapter, but the next one for sure ^^
Coolcalico-girl2491: GO HAVING UR OWN ACCOUNT! Hey… you gave two reviews... kool…
tracy-kin: gees girl, you've got one hyper-active imagination… JUST LIKE ME! ^______________________________________^; DANCE WITH ME! *Dances*
Angel of Death: Sorry honey, but I've already got a number one fan, he's sitting in Uh... over there… to your left… yeah, that guy. Pomite… the one that reviewed about himself getting to see the last chapter before all of you guys… nice little feller ain't he?
Blood-Blossom-Mistress: Thanks for the praise! *feels all warm and fuzzy* ^_^ you also gave the winning name.
Ms. CherryStrawberry: I want to go to Mexico…
Cinnamon-Sweet-Heart: yeah, school = the SUCK! How are Syao and Saku going to keep that bastard off their backs? Good question… that I am unable to answer at this time. ^_^ Are Tomoyo and Mikey going find out that they live together? Perhaps… It all depends on my mood ^_^ don't worry bout the questions, I kind of like them ^_^
Babybluestarangel: Updating… NOW! ^_^
I Glomp Bisounen: :O my greatness? What is this non-existent greatness you speak of??? Well… I had to make Syao and Saku endure him because like… dude… without showing that he's evil and like… well... all-powerful over them… there isn't really anything to the plot. It's essential to the plot… and umm… THANK YOU UBER MUCH! You just gave my ego the SUPER BOOST it needed… *is ready to conquer this chapter*
