Notes:
A kingblade is basically a glowstick that can change colours. They're bought at lives, and people can change their colours to different signature colours to show support for their favourite idol, e.g. during a Nozomi lead song, everyone changes theirs to purple, or in a BiBi song, people change it to red, light blue or pink.
Whew...sorry, but chapter 8's going to take everything I have, and so might take a while. No ETA, unfortunately...
LATER EDIT (09 October 2017): I'm not sure if anyone will see this but I'm...kind of regretting the route I've taken in this story. I feel like the live element was unnecessary, and I can't help but feel like I've let people down with this direction, and part of me is considering a rewrite. Does anyone agree with this sentiment? (Don't be shy! I really wouldn't want to write a story that left people unsatisfied)
The Last Night
Saturday night.
The lights of the living room in the Nishikino family home were off, as were the lights in the kitchen and the guest rooms; viewed from the garden, only a single, solitary room could be seen illuminated; Maki's room. For the last night of their stay at Maki's family house: a sleepover in Maki's room. All nine of them, dressed in their pyjamas for the last night.
Maki's room was larger than the guest rooms the other eight had been sleeping in: in the centre at the edge of the room was an emperor-sized bed, in use since from Maki's childhood all the way until she left for Kyoto, and to the bed's right was a bedside desk with a lamp styled after the rectangular Toro lanterns, providing dim but acceptable light for the room. In the corner was a potted plant, and on the opposite wall most visible from the bed, were several posters: a single Hello Kitty poster, various tour posters from old idol groups, and even some of Maki's promo shots, but most notable was the A1 centrepiece poster on the wall in front of Hanayo and Honoka, a decade old - their old concert poster from their trip to New York. In the bright, vivid scheme of the poster, the nine of them crowded the image, smiling at the viewers against a New York backdrop in their red, black and yellow outfits, and Honoka stood front and centre, waving a red µ's flag up high in the air. Over the image, pink text with white outlines detailing times, places and names were in smaller text at the bottom, and biggest of all, the title: "µ's International Live!".
Honoka stepped away from the poster after only a few seconds worth of viewing, welling up at the memories coming back to her: the photoshoot, the trip to America. The training, the city lights that felt so familiar so far from home, their adventures in New York...the woman she saw in New York. She seemed like a mirage, so mysterious...who was she?
"...Honoka?"
Honoka remembered what she'd been asked on that neon-lit evening, separated from her friends.
"For whose sake do you sing for?"
"Honoka, what's wrong?"
That evening felt like a turning point in Honoka's life, like that evening had set in motion the events that led her here; the meeting with Maki, the evening with Nozomi, Eli and...Tsubasa. Tsubasa acted strangely that night...as hazy as her memories of that night were, the second question remained clear in her mind:
"What do you aim for?"
"Honoka!"
"Ah!"
Umi suddenly appeared in front of Honoka's face between her and the corner of the room, ending her train of thought and bringing her back down to earth.
"Honoka, you scared us for a moment there. Is something wrong?" Umi said. Honoka turned around to see everyone in the room looking at her: Nozomi, Maki and Eli were sitting on the side of the bed, looking at her, Nico gently brushed her own hair by the window, looking over, Rin was peeking out from the bathroom's frame, holding her now rinsed clean toothbrush, and Kotori was stood behind Hanayo next to the poster, their expressions concerned. Honoka looked back at Umi in confusion, wondering what she was referring to.
"We thought something was wrong, Honoka. You were a million miles away, and you cried and stared at the wall, unresponsive. What happened?" Umi asked, a hint of assertiveness in her voice, desperate for an answer.
"Ummm...ehehehe. Sorry. That poster brought back a lot of memories, so don't you worry, Umi. I mean, that side ponytail looks so unfamiliar to me now. Don't you agree, Kotori?"
Kotori's concern didn't disappear, and she instead hid it while Honoka looked at her. She paused for a moment, wondering what Honoka could have been hiding.
"Umm...I guess so. I cut my hair when I moved to Paris, and that's when I stopped wearing my hair that way."
"Honoka, come on. What's wrong?" Maki asked.
Honoka stared back into space again, wondering if she should tell them, about the woman in New York, about Tsubasa, about all her doubts.
"Ehe...I think it's just pre-show nerves, really. That's all."
"Is that it?" Maki said, smiling. "Don't worry. We're all nervous."
Honoka returned her smile, and looked back at the poster. All she saw now was an old µ's poster.
"Maki, are you doing the Nico Nico Nii in that poster is it just me?" Nozomi asked, craning her head forward in the low light.
Maki did the same before moving her head back, having determined that she was.
"Oh, my...I was."
"What's wrong, Maki? Couldn't resist the charms of super idol Nico Yazawa?" Nico remarked with a teasing smile, continuing to brush her hair by the window. Maki returned her attitude, teasing Nico with a mock version of the Nico-Nico-Nii, holding her hands to the sides of her head, and Nico smiled and shook her head.
"Nya." Rin said.
"What?" Umi replied.
"Look at that...I'm nya-nya-nya-ing."
"You're what?"
"You know...nya." Rin imitated a cat's paws in the air, and made her best impression of a cat, pawing at Umi's nose.
"Rin, stop." Umi said.
"Aw, fine. My cat phase was a little embarrassing, but I loved it."
"I'd say you never truly left it behind." Nozomi said.
"She hasn't." Hanayo replied, hiding laughter. "Have you ever given her coffee? It's almost like seeing spring fever in a cat."
"I need my coffee." Rin said. "And, also my water." She picked up her water bottle from the floor, and drank.
"I'm reading some comments on my phone, and people loved your catlike qualities as an idol." Eli said, looking up from her phone. "They think it was cute. I'm still seeing comments on it now."
"Ah, cool! You're reading comments on our live?" Honoka said, a childlike sense of wonder entering her voice. "What site is it? What site?"
Honoka half walked, half ran over to Eli, sitting on the bed beside her as Eli shifted over to make room for her. In the background, the others continued their bedtime routine, laying out small mattresses on the floor, laying down pillows, undoing their hair from the festival...
"The school idol ranking site, apparently." Eli replied.
"The school idol site?! But we're not school idols!" Honoka said.
"Well, we're still up here, for some reason. Maybe µ's entry was never taken down in the first place. Maybe it got left there, and so when our...live was announced, it generated enough interest in us again to bring us up from the rankings. If they took us down, I don't think people would be happy, anyway."
"We're...we're number one in the rankings! We're not school idols any more, but we're number one!"
"It's strange, isn't it? We shouldn't be on this site at all, yet here we are."
"Reunion...I love you, Umi...Nico Nico Nii...Nozomi spiritual power...kashikoi kawaii Elichika...faito dayo, bread emoji!...A bird emoticon...rice emoji...more rice emoji...a tomato emoji...rice emoji again...Hang on, Eli...there's an admin comment here! He's a fan!"
Eli adjusted her glasses and scrolled back up, to where Honoka was pointing.
"Oh my...they did keep us there! And he's keeping us up here..."In honour of the greatest school idol group to ever grace the earth!", it says!"
"хорошо..." the both of them said in unison.
"I'm almost too excited to sleep now, seeing all these comments..." Honoka said.
"You might want to try to sleep, Honoka." Maki interjected, looking over from the other side of the bed. "We can't have any sleep-deprived idols, can we?"
Honoka gave Maki her trademark sheepish smile. "Don't worry, Maki. I can sleep."
"Hey, Umi...how was your time at Minato Mirai, anyway?" Hanayo asked, taking off her glasses and setting them on the small table next to the entrance to the bathroom.
"Apart from dinner at the Italian restaurant, I spent all my time dancing. It didn't go according to plan, but it was fun, anyway."
"What were your plans, anyway?"
"I thought I'd just end up wandering around Rinko Park, going from stall to stall. I certainly never thought I'd be dancing, let alone dancing the whole night..."
"Isn't that the fun of going somewhere with someone, though? There doesn't ever have to be a plan. What happens will happen, and you go along with it, having fun the whole way..."
"Really? I never thought of it that way. I'm used to planning things out and following them meticulously...it feels strange to have fun with something that wasn't on the plan."
"Well, Maki wasn't on the plan, but you had the greatest time, didn't you? I know we didn't see each other until the last few Bon Odori dances, but I could tell you had fun."
"Ah...I suppose not."
"Not everything has to go to plan. Sometimes, you have to be ready for when things go off the rails, and you can have even more fun that way."
"Couldn't you consider that part of the plan itself?"
"Ah, but you can't plan fun. When I manage school trips, I notice that soon, the kids get bored after a while, and they just want to go home. They always have the most fun at playtime, when they can do whatever they want. Adapting can be fun!"
"Ahaha...I suppose I'm used to strict schedules and having things planned out for me. I can't imagine not planning everything, but I understand what you mean."
"Well, not everyone can afford to go off the rails all the time. I guess what I'm saying is, it happens sometimes, and it's best to work with it."
"Anyway, I'm sorry, but not everybody can sleep in my bed tonight. I'd thought about it, but...nine of us in a bed would be very uncomfortable. So, Rin. Hanayo, Kotori, you'll be sleeping in my bed. I trust you the most to sleep in my bed." Maki announced.
"Hey, why not us?" Nico asked.
"You, Honoka and Nozomi strike me as cover hogs, that's why."
"No fair!" Nico and Honoka said in unison.
"It's true." Eli said.
"I thought you were on my side!" Nozomi said to Eli, to which Eli smiled and shrugged.
Maki looked over in Umi's direction. "Also, Umi, get over here. You're sleeping in my arms tonight."
The room's heads turned to Umi, and Umi froze in panic.
"M-m-m...me?!"
"Yes, you."
"M-Maki...I'm not s-sure...I...I'm sorry..."
"Umi, don't worry! You sleep next to me, and that's all! You can be on the end, and I'll be next to you. Come here."
Maki got off the bed and walked over to Umi, guiding her by the shoulder as Hanayo touched Umi's shoulder for support before she made her way forward. Umi was shaking nervously, and Nozomi withheld the sarcastic remark she'd initially prepared.
"Umi, it's okay! Don't worry, you don't have to."
"I...no, I want to..." Umi said, her face red as a tomato.
"Don't worry, Umi. I can tell you with confidence, it's a wonderful feeling." Nozomi cut in, rubbing Umi's arm sympathetically. "Eli was afraid too, the first night we slept together, but she said she didn't regret a thing when we did."
Eli nodded in agreement, looking at Umi with the same sympathy as she, Honoka and Nozomi got off the bed and moved towards the mattresses on the floor.
"...Come on, Maki." Umi said, sitting down on the bed and shuffling towards the other end, beaming at Maki.
"That's my Umi."
Maki moved down to the end, next to Umi, and Kotori, Hanayo and Rin slowly got into the bed, keeping distance from Maki and Umi: Rin went in first, then Kotori, then Hanayo. Eli and Nozomi moved their small mattresses together and lay down together. Honoka and Nico were last to their mattresses, and although they were the only two to sleep without someone in their arms, the last thing either of them saw were the other's eyes in the dim light, weary but content. They gave each other one last look of support, and shut them. Nozomi was out before saying goodnight, and Eli laughed.
Rin put her arms around Kotori, and Hanayo did the same.
"Rin? Kotori? What are you doing?"
"We're going to protect you from illness for the show tomorrow." Rin replied.
"We're going to make sure a happy and healthy Kotori makes it to the Tokyo Dome City Hall." Hanayo continued.
"I...thank you..."
"Aww, no problem, Kotori! Goodnight, everyone!"
"Goodnight!"
"Goodnight, everyone!"
"Night!"
"Goodnight, everyone."
"Night, all! Let's all do our best!"
"Night night."
"Goodnight, everyone! I hope we all do well at the show tomorrow!"
"...Nozomi?"
"She's asleep, Honoka."
"Ah, that's fair enough."
Maki turned off the lamp's light, and only moonlight remained.
Hopes and Dreams of the World
Saturday night.
At the end of Saturday as they lay in bed awake, bar one, every single member of µ's thought about how far they'd come, how tomorrow would play out, how even Honoka's plans hadn't played out like she thought, what would happen after Sunday, and how unreal it felt that it was already the last night at Maki's house.
In this day lay the doubts, hopes and dreams of a former school idol group come together for one last show.
The world slept with them, and unknowingly shared their hopes and doubts; for every hope was a legion of fans waiting to see their favourite idol live, for every dream a new generation of fans awaiting the day they saw the idol group µ's in action, for every doubt a former idol enthusiast rekindling their interest, for every girl a wish. Sometimes, despite everything they did, they forgot the world around them, that there were people out there who looked up to them, or at least used to look up to them.
Kotori wondered if life wasn't as easy as she once thought it was, that she'd keep encountering obstacles like her own illness. Perhaps a quaint café life in Paris wasn't possible, and that like her idol career, it too would have to come to an end. She knew her life would never be the same the moment she met Honoka, and she knew her life would never be the same after reuniting with Honoka - all roads seemed to lead back to Honoka, and Kotori didn't doubt that Honoka would be in their lives for as long as they all lived. Eventually, comforted by Rin and Hanayo's embrace, she let go of her doubts and drifted to sleep.
Hanayo saw the poster with Honoka, and understood how she felt; she was everything she once was and more, but she wasn't getting any younger either. Unnerved by these new thoughts, Hanayo, too, let go of her doubts and like the worry-free spirit that was Rin, let Kotori's warmth put her under. Hanayo wasn't ready to let this end, but it wasn't over yet.
Maki went to sleep, hopeful; Honoka's burning spirit motivated her to be so much more. Like Honoka, she too could change lives; her worries took back seat to her hopes, that she would make her parents proud again. Umi felt tense to her, maybe even afraid, and so Maki wrapped her arms around Umi a little more, bringing them closer together, and kissed the back of her neck reassuringly. Umi's shoulders loosened up a little, and she could be heard ever so slightly, clearing her throat quietly. Maki relaxed, and soon fell asleep, unknowing of what went through Umi's mind.
Eli watched over Nozomi, no thought in particular taking her fancy on the road to sleep - she thought about all the things she'd seen in the last week, and everything Honoka had done for her. She thought about how she didn't invite any of them to the wedding, and how she'd invite them to the ceremony the next time she renewed vows. Eli may have lost her edge, but she carried no doubt with her into the fray; she was at peace with life.
Nozomi dreamed. No symbolic dreams, no stress dreams, nothing presenting her own mortality to her. Just a dream of the nine of them, together, and she couldn't be happier.
Nico had no thoughts that screamed to be silenced. For once, she could go to sleep without being sabotaged by her own thoughts or her own sorrow. As long as any of them were here for her, she had everything she needed. The voice in her head that told them they were all going to leave her when this was over was silent now.
In her thoughts, Honoka was everything and everyone - she felt everything, she knew everyone, she knew every doubt that plagued them, but at the same time, every hope and every strength. Her eyes opened, restless; she saw Nico a metre ahead, her eyes shut, her long hair on the ground in all directions around her. No motion. Honoka felt tense; she wanted to move, but stayed still, terrified she'd wake someone with any motion. Eventually, she relented and rolled onto her back, and felt a wave of relief in the comfort she felt.
Honoka dreamt again, of New York. This was the first vivid dream of New York she'd had in years, having had a full year of recurring dreams about it, interspersed with recurring dreams of their performance at the 3rd Love Live after coming back home. It was just like the dreams she'd had as a naive teenager who'd finally experienced the world beyond home: she dreamt of walking the evening streets of New York City on her own, the faces of µ's, both adult and teenage, coming and going in the crowd without so much as a glance at her, and the buildings lining the central street glowed bright lilac, casting a neon haze over her dream. Car horns sounded in the distance, a car driving down the street every so often, and the noise of the crowd was deafening, though it took back seat to fragments of the song she'd later discovered to be As Time Goes By - she heard it all around her. She was a teenager again, and like before, she crossed the streets to see where the music was coming from; though the music echoed through the streets of New York, she still felt a compulsion to head to the nearby alley where a crowd was gathered.
Long orange hair, mature composure, haunting voice: it had to be her.
The singer looked at Honoka, and Honoka saw her eyes; it was Honoka's adult self looking back at her, and suddenly Honoka felt a shift - she was both her adult self and her child self at the same time, singing automatically, watching herself sing, watching herself watching herself sing. She felt several emotions at once: sorrow that she was no longer a carefree teenager, joy that she'd grown up to be a wonderful adult, longing for the thrill of travelling and the streets of New York, and for times gone by.
From the darkness in the other side of the alley, from the open streets, floating fans tracing trails of light behind them approached the crowd, and their owners materialised a second later. The faces of µ's took form and the nine of them approached the singer in the alley, herself, watching the performance. More and more people kept coming: Sana, her mother...Miho, Ana, Alisa, Umi, Maki, Kotori and Nico's parents, Rin and Hanayo's parents, Eli's grandmother, Tsubasa, Erena and Anju...last but not least was her own father's smiling face, and suddenly there was another shift.
She was performing with µ's at the Tokyo Dome, a sea of lights from the kingblades the crowds held before them, in every colour, in every arrangement, like an ikebana arrangement expressing all the emotions on the spectrum, all for them. Honoka didn't know what song they were performing; just that they were performing, and the nine of them felt their heartbeats synchronise - she felt alive as their formations changed like clockwork and they circled the stage, singing from their heart and soul, singing loud enough for all the world to hear. Their outfits sparkled and shimmered their signature colours, and the colours of the kingblades followed them in the crowd, an orange zone circling Honoka as she skipped, swayed, twirled and danced. The kingblades grew lighter, and the roof of the Tokyo Dome opened to the heavens, casting a spotlight on the stage. The nine of them started to leave trails of light as they moved around the stage and the light grew brighter and brighter and brighter...
Fade to white.
The Sleepless Ocean
4am.
In the oppressive silence of the border between dusk and dawn, Nozomi opened her eyes, staring up at the ceiling. She didn't remember going to sleep on her back, but she was here now; Eli was fast asleep, her arm tightly squeezing Eli. It didn't hurt; this couldn't have been what woke her up.
Nozomi saw motion in the corner of her eyes, and without moving her head, her eyes shifted towards the door.
She saw a figure in the darkness moving in slow motion towards the door, moving gracefully yet slowly, their footfalls only audible in silence. Presumably, the other seven were fast asleep, and Nozomi recognised the figure's long hair and poise - it was Umi, leaving the room early in the morning for some unknown reason, the night before they were due for a show.
Umi opened the door, and closed it without a sound. No footfalls could be heard from the other side of the door, no sound, nothing.
It was too early for the cicadas, too early for the birds, and too early to be awake. Moonlight radiated faintly through the curtains, and Nozomi only saw...things in the dark, asleep on the floor. She gently lifted Eli's arm off her, prompting a high-pitched moan, though she did not wake, and she sat up, observing as best she could in such low light. Her eyes adjusted after a minute, and she felt confident enough to stand up without a sound and so, inspired by how discrete she was rising to her feet, Nozomi made her way to the door. Her footfalls made more noise than Umi, though nobody responded much to her relief, and so she continued to the door, opening and closing it without a sound, to her continued relief. She internally sighed, knowing she'd have to do this all over again when she came back in, and considered going back to her room.
Nozomi knew where everyone went to be alone: the garden.
Turning the corner into the garden, Nozomi saw Umi in her pyjamas standing in the middle of the garden on the grass, her phone to her ear, the only light in the garden glowing a harsh white. A quiet, mild breeze washed over the garden, rustling the leaves in the trees. Nozomi stepped forward but paused when she heard Umi's hushed voice, barely audible, her posture stiff. The grass was wet under Nozomi's bare feet with morning dew, typical of such a humid summer.
"I see. Thank you. I'll be there at the Mitsui Memorial Hospital soon."
Umi hung up the phone and turned around to see Nozomi standing a metre away.
"Nozomi." Umi said in her same hushed voice, her facial expression hidden in the dark as she turned off her phone's display.
"Umi. What's wrong?" Nozomi replied, taking on the same smooth hush as Umi, like a mother comforting a child.
"Don't worry. It's nothing. Go back to sleep, I just have to head out to take care of something."
"No, Umi. Something's wrong."
"I wouldn't want to burden you with it. Now go back to sleep, I have to take care of this."
"Is something wrong?" A third voice said, moving towards them, and Umi and Nozomi turned to see Nico walking towards them, rubbing her eyes.
"Nico..." Umi said, the worry apparent in her voice. Nozomi turned her attentions back to Umi as Nico stood beside her.
"Don't worry yourself with details, Nico." Umi assured her. "I'm not going to burden you with my own life. Both of you, go back to sleep. You have a show tomorrow."
"I've spent the last 15 years telling people not to worry themselves with my life, Umi, and it's gotten me nowhere. You have to tell us or it's only going to cause us all pain."
Umi started to tear up, and her voice started to waver, and she started to shiver.
"No, Nico, you don't understand. This is different. I can handle this by myself, so please, go back inside."
"This is no different, Umi. We all share our problems, and this isn't the exception."
"It's obvious something's wrong, Umi, and we can't have you doing a live hiding your problems from us. We've all hid problems from each other in the last week, but we all eventually learned it was a bad idea. Please, Umi. Please."
Umi could barely make out Nico and Nozomi's faces, but she didn't need to in order to see sympathy. She didn't reply, but didn't refuse to reply either, instead looking at the both of them, wondering when the right time to tell them was, the shaking growing more violent, wondering why she was incapable of holding her tears back and stopping her legs from shaking. Her breathing grew unsteady.
"Umi?" Nozomi asked.
"My...my father's been...been hit by a car. He's...he's alive but...no, no."
Nozomi and Nico's eyes widened, and they looked at each other in concern.
"This is the second time he's been hit by a car. The first time left him with brain damage, and I'm afraid something might happen. They say he had a seizure. I have to go. Please. Please!"
Umi's shaking grew more violent still and her sobs were audible, squeaky, high-pitched sporadic noises. She didn't understand why this was happening to her. She didn't want to deal with the reality of what she'd been told, and she wanted to believe that this wasn't really happening, that something like a hospitalisation couldn't happen to a family as ordinary as her own. It couldn't happen. It shouldn't. Her father was a healthy man with many years left on his life. Nothing should be happening to him.
Nico took Umi by the shoulders and drew her in quickly for a sympathetic hug, the sobbing continuing, Umi's breathing still unsteady.
"Umi, I'm so sorry."
"Let it all out."
"Umi." Nozomi whispered into Umi's ear. "I've arranged for transport to the Mitsui Memorial Hospital. They'll be here soon. Take as long as you want to get ready." She stroked Umi's hair, and took a step towards the side of the house. 15 seconds passed and Umi gained composure, and corrected her breathing, though it was still audible, and somewhat strained even as Nico disengaged.
"I believe I'm fine now. I'm so sorry you had to see me like that...I shouldn't have lost composure."
"Don't be sorry, Umi. You reacted the way anyone else would, and you're only human." Nozomi assured her, resting her hand on Umi's shoulder.
Umi took a deep breath in. "Let's go."
