It's Valentine's Day. The day you've been dreading since the beginning of February. Silence overcomes you as you push off heavy pink blankets that smell like Rachel Berry off your tired body. It smells like eggs and you think that maybe this dreadful day won't be starting off as bad as you thought, Sam always used to make you breakfast on Valentine's.

You look over to your small pile of clothes, some things you've managed to steal from your home when Sam has been away, but you now realize your options are dwindling. Maybe another trip is in order.

"Santana!"

You grumble, leaning out of bed and fumble around cabinets for some new clothes. Seven reindeer sweaters pass by before you find something the least bit presentable and decide to put it on under your blazer.

"Oh god." You look in the mirror and you cringe in disgust, you look so much like Rachel Berry right now you can't bare to look at yourself. The owl sweater you put on almost resembles a creepy gnome and you button up your jacket to cover any remnants of it.

This must be a new low you think, and head out to the kitchen.

"Even though I don't condone the eating of animals I made you some eggs and some bacon for this lovely morning Santana." Rachel Berry smiles at you like she just woke up with a million dollars and motions for you to take a seat.

Scrambled eggs, bacon and some toast are laid out in front of you and you can't remember the last time you actually ate a good breakfast.

"Why are you doing this?" You ask as she whips up something for herself to eat.

You don't feel worthy of kindness, you don't feel worthy of anything really.

She pauses, turning around with some toast, "People can be nice to you, you know." She pours you some coffee, "Just let me help."

Coffee swirls in your cup and the scent reminds you of a tranquil breeze.

Coffee warms your soul, even in the darkest of times.

You look at your food, unable to respond and take a bite, "Not too bad Berry."

"Anything for my valentine." She teases as she sits down across from you.

You almost choke on your food, "Don't ever say that again."

"Well do you have a valentine?" She asks.

"What do you think Rachel."

She shrugs, "I'm just wondering."

"I'm pretty sure Finn would be upset if he found out he couldn't be your valentine."

A small smile peaks on Rachel's lips, "No he wouldn't."

"I don't think I will even be acknowledging the holiday today, I don't need the entire office thinking I'm sleeping with you now."

Your appetite falters as you think about the image and put down your fork. Rachel looks at you with worried eyes, "I'm sorry you have to go through this Santana." She says.

You tear yourself away from her eyes and look at the food starting to cool on your plate. The scrambled eggs kind of look like your brain, mushed and tired from all the beating you've been taking in your life.

"If you ever want to talk about anything I am here to help. I have two gay dads and I'm fully aware of how to confront feelings of-"

"Stop talking." You interrupt and lift up your plate in frustration. "I can deal with my own feelings and I most certainly don't need a gay intervention from you."

"I'm just letting you know that you're safe here." She says.

You can't believe it has come to this. Living in the guest room at Rachel Berry's apartment was not how you imagined this month. You dump the remaining food down the trash and begin to clean your plate, the warmth of the running water surrounding your palms. You wish that they could be surrounded by another kind of warmth.

You look over your shoulder at Rachel, wondering how she would ever want to help you and you sigh quietly.

"Thanks."

/

You're washing your hands in the bathroom when she walks in, her bright red lipstick jumping out at you.

The redness reminds you of the prettiest rose.

"Hi there." She says with a rasp.

You turn off the warm water, "Hi yourself." You smile, taking a paper towel.

She closes the door behind her, waiting for you to finish. "I got you something." She says.

"Really?" You say, noticing the way her hips sway back and forth. You invade her space, trapping her against the door behind her. Your hands glide over her caramel skin and her warmth reminds you of sunshine.

"It's just a little gesture." She says quietly, unable to keep her breathing quiet. She squirms behind her back, "A vanilla latte. I know they're your favorite." She says and sticks out a small cup of coffee towards you.

You immediately smile.

"And I had to walk an entire two blocks to get it at the good coffee place." She smiles. The cup has a little heart on it and you take it from her hands.

"Thank you Santana." You can't help but grin, the tiniest gesture from her is worth more than the most lavish of treasures. You take a small sip, "How did you know?"

"I notice things." She shrugs happily.

You notice all her little things too.

"It's lovely." You say and kiss her lightly on the cheek. "You're a great valentine."

You open the door behind her and pass her by, "Maybe I can give you another present later." You wink and leave her behind.

The vanilla taste sweet in your mouth, almost as sweet as caramel.

/

"Did you really have to throw a Valentines party?"

Rachel is in the conference room, unfolding heart decorations, "The party planning committee makes commitments to all holidays." She says. "You could be helping me you know."

You glance at all the unopened boxes, "I've officially resigned from the party planning committee." You say, thinking of Brittany.

"Well can you get Kurt and or Brittany to come help me then?" Rachel asks.

You sigh, kicking around a box, "Fine."

You open up the conference door.

"Ouch!" You hear, a muffled whimper following.

"Shit. I'm sorry." You say walking around the door. Sam is grabbing at his nose. He notices you, fury soon following.

"Of course that was you." He snarls.

A collection of eyes roam to the scene.

You roll your eyes, "It was obviously an accident Sam."

Brittany catches your eye and quickly turns back around to her computer, typing furiously.

"You might as well break my nose too." He mumbles and brushes past you, the scent of his sweater reminds you of home.

"You're fucking kidding me right now." You mumble to yourself. You could probably do anything to Sam and he would think you were doing it to hurt him on purpose. You guess you have yourself to blame for that.

"Damn you're cold Lopez."

Puck is dirtier than your old pile of clothes.

"Get outta my way." You say, pushing him and his smirk aside.

He chuckles as you pass by, "Lezpez." He says and you run away as fast as you can in search of Kurt. Him and Mercedes are laughing in the annex, playing with Kurt's hair and ignoring phone calls.

"Kurt." You say barging in on their two-some.

They turn quickly, obviously not expecting you there.

"Can I help you?" Kurt says glancing at Mercedes slowly. He takes a strand of his neatly polished hair and puts it back in place.

"Berry wants you." You say, trying not to stay long.

He shrugs, "What does she want?"

"Help, for the party."

"Can't you help her?" He responds.

"Look, I'm not in the party planning committee anymore. Help her. Now." You demand taking a glance at Kurt's desk. Flowers and pink cards fill his space and you are immediately jealous. You never thought that this day would have an affect on you. You've always had someone on Valentine's Day, you've never been alone.

"What fruity man gave you those flowers porcelain?" You say, eyeing the treats in disgust.

Kurt glares at you with a blaze, "Just because you have a miserable love life doesn't mean the rest of us have to too."

You look at his flowers in silence, realizing how ridiculous you are being and decide to let it slide.

"Just come please." You wave at him and give Mercedes a light smile.

He stumbles behind you as you grab his arm and he huffs, "Why couldn't you find Britt to help, I was kind of busy."

"You know damn well why." You say, not bothering to look back at him.

He chuckles a bit, "I know. It's just fun to tease."

You can't emphasis enough how unpleasant this is.

"Nothing about this is fun." You say.

/

"This is fun right?"

"Nothing about this is fun really."

"Oh, stop."

You hit her on the arm and she chuckles.

"Rachel always makes us do this." She says putting up a giant heart in the conference room.

"Rachel didn't make you sign up for the party planning committee." You say, trying not to look at her ass as she steps up on a chair to put up the heart.

She takes a step down, "You're right, I did this to myself." She sighs.

You pull out another decoration, something red, and you hand it to her. "Why did you join then?"

She's quiet for a moment, looking away from you and climbing up the chair again, "I was bored."

"Yeah right." You smile, poking her in the leg. "Do you have a secret affinity for parties or something you don't want anyone to know about?"

You hear her laugh, "That's not it."

"Did you want to spend more time with Rachel Berry?" You tease.

She finishes putting up another decoration, "That was definitely not it." She sticks out her hand, waiting for you to hand her another prop to hang up.

You grab her hand, pulling her off of the chair, "Tell me." You say, dragging her in close.

She stands there, glancing at your lips and you grin. Your hand fails to keep to yourself and you find your fingers sliding up her arm softly.

"I joined because of you." She says, quiet.

Her shyness is something new to you. You try not to break out into a giant smile as she watches your fingers give her goosebumps.

"That's cute." You respond, biting your lip.

She looks away bashful, "Shut up."

Your hand glides back down her arm, "What?"

"You just...make me do the strangest things." She says.

Your eyebrows lift in amusement and you decide to tease her some more, "Does this mean I can make you do anything I want?" You say up close to her ear. You feel the goosebumps rise on her skin as she looks out of the conference room blinds to make sure no one is watching.

"I bet you would fuck me right here if I asked you to." You whisper in her ear. You make sure not to make a scene out in the open, but you are having so much fun teasing Santana like this.

She swallows hard and her face is still looking straight ahead. Your hand continues to rub up and down her arm like a steady rhythm. "Or maybe I could demand you to take off all your clothes for me in the storage closet downstairs. I do love seeing you naked."

She's having trouble now, staying still. You can see it in her eyes.

You put a red streamer in her palm and close it gently, "Maybe you'd let me tie you up with this ribbon? Letting me be in control?"

Her shoulders slump as she licks her lips quickly. Her grip on the streamer is hard and you smile in delight. "You're so whipped aren't you?"

Her chest heaves out and you can't help but admire her breasts as a bit of sweat begins to show there, "Yes." She pants softly.

You glance through the blinds, noticing Rachel and Kurt bickering over some heart shaped item.

"I want you to think of me while Sam tries to fuck you tonight." You whisper. "I know you do that anyway."

Santana nods slowly.

"Think of my fingers when he is inside you." You lick your lips, unable to stop the wetness that starts between your legs.

She nods again.

"Think of my lips when he kisses you."

Her hand grips the side of the chair tightly.

"It wouldn't take Valentines Day for me to treat you like a queen." You say.

"Are the decorations up yet?" Rachel Berry barges into the conference room unexpectedly and you pull away from Santana calmly.

"We're getting there." You say. Santana hasn't moved a muscle. "Look." You say pointing to all the decorations hung up above. "Santana is doing an awesome job." You smile looking at her. "Right San?" You say patting her on the arm.

She turns around to look at Rachel, wiping a piece of hair behind her ear, "Right."

"Don't forget to set up the little chocolate fountain!" Rachel shouts at you before closing the door loudly and storming back to Kurt.

You step away from Santana, "Chocolate fountain it is."

She shakes her head back and forth, "I hate you so much."

/

You're staring at the mini chocolate fountain, the brown waves hypnotizing you like a wild fire.

You remember the last time you set hands on it, Brittany was confused by the directions and you tested about twenty different items dipped in chocolate.

"Are you going to just stare at the chocolate all day Lezpez or what?" Puck is grinning next to you with a small plate of marshmallows waiting to be dipped in chocolate.

"What the fuck did you just call me?" You turn towards him with your arms crossed.

He steps closer to you, the cologne on his skin smelling like trash, "Word is you sleep with women now, wish I had known that before." He whispers into your ear. His words make you shiver unpleasant. "Word is you also cheat, so you know...welcome to the club." He nudges you on the arm with a smirk.

"Leave me the hell alone." You say, looking over the assorted fruits and treats laid out on the table.

"I've had threesomes before, they're fun." He says eyeing you up and down. You want to strangle him by the throat and rip off his stupid mohawk, but he grabs your arm instead. "Wanna try some time?" He questions.

You pull away from him hard, almost causing him to spill his marshmallows on the floor. "Watch it Lopez."

You step away from him, "Fucking go away."

"I'm just offering up a suggestion." He says stepping along side you.

"She said leave her alone."

You look across the table and Sam is glaring at Puck, his hands gripping around his plate tightly.

"Relax dude." Puck says looking towards him, "I didn't say anything."

Sam doesn't lay an eye on you as he steps around the table towards Puck.

"I heard everything you said." He snarls.

Puck huffs, laughing audibly as Sam approaches, "Yeah right."

"Leave her alone." Sam says again.

Puck approaches Sam with broad shoulders, "Seems like she'd rather sleep with anyone else but you around here anyways." He spits in his face.

Sam lunges at Puck, shoving him up against the blinds as Puck drops his plate. You watch as Sam takes hold of Puck's collar and doesn't let go.

"She's my fiance!" He shouts and throws a punch his way. Puck winces in pain and shoves Sam away from him, daring to throw a punch in retaliation.

"Get off me!" Puck shouts as he shoves Sam to the ground.

You don't know what to do. You're stuck in your place as you watch Sam and Puck fight and your head is beginning to circle with confusion.

"Fuck you!" Sam shouts and takes Puck down with him, the snack table almost plunging to the ground as Puck falls.

Noise of punches fill the room and you are frozen to the ground. The door slams open and Rachel storms inside.

"Hey hey hey! Stop!" She shouts as the two continue to rumble down below. Rachel's looking at you and you shake your head in helplessness. "Finn!" She shouts and Finn is trying to tear the two away in a flash.

"Guys what the hell!" Finn says pulling Puck away from Sam. They still scrounge to get at one another, barely pulling apart.

"If you knock over that fountain I swear to god!" Rachel shouts at Sam who comes extremely close to the table. Everyone from the office is surrounding the conference room outside and Brittany is looking at you with interest. Sam gets up from the floor, brushing off his clothes as he straightens his hair. Finn is still holding Puck back as Sam hurries out the door.

"Sam, wait." You say, beginning to follow out behind him. He turns the corner fast and is out of sight. "Dammit." You're mumbling now, in front of everyone, and they can't seem to mind their own business.

Her blue eyes burn into your soul.

"Everyone get back to work." Holly says as her concering eyes wonder over you. You look at Finn, he's checking over Puck's face and you see a purple spot begin to form below his eye.

"You deserved it you ass." You whisper to yourself and put a hand through your hair. You take a moment to stand and breathe, calming your heart from the chaos that seems to follow you everywhere and a familiar scent overwhelms you.

"Hey, are you okay?" She says in the faintest voice and you're caught with blue eyes staring at you.

Her breath smells like watermelon today.

Her hand touches your cheek gently as she glances over your face, tracing along the sharpness of your jaw and just under your eye. "Are you sure you aren't hurt?" She asks, still inspecting you.

You get lost in her touch before you push her hand away, aware of people staring at you. "I'm fine." You say harshly.

"Are you sure no one-"

"Don't touch me." You turn your head and walk back towards your desk. You're angry at her and you don't know why. She's everything that's good in this miserable stinking world and you are still mad. Furious even. She told Sam about the two of you and you don't know if you can forgive her for that. She outed you when all you want to do is go back in, hide from this terrible fate.

She's still staring. She's always staring. Her eyes searing into you like a hot burn. She stands in front of the conference room for a while before going inside, grabbing a plate and talking to the others around the chocolate fountain.

"Where's Sam?"

"I don't know."

"Maybe you should look for him."

"Do you think he fucking wants to talk to me Finn?" You say, slamming your palms against your desk top. Finn hopes back in his chair a bit, waiting for you to calm down. You sigh, "Maybe you should go find him."

"I just thought that maybe you would know where he would go-"

"Yeah, well I don't." You say and your eyes are glued to your computer screen. You sigh again, "Maybe check the bathroom or something."

/

"I'm going to go look for the bathroom."

"Hurry back."

You smile as Troy pulls out his phone from his coat pocket. Your date at Breadstix hasn't been the greatest, but it hasn't turned out to be a complete disaster yet. You make your way through the crowd of waitresses and people scurrying about and you are about to pass by a booth when you hear a familiar laugh.

You can recognize her laugh in the loudest of places.

"Santana?" You ask, walking up to her booth, a bottle of wine and some pasta fill their table.

She bites her lip, unexpected to see you and lifts up her glass of wine, "Brittany." She smiles at you and glances towards Sam.

"Sam." You nod as he puts down his fork.

"H-hey Britt, what are you doing here?" Sam asks you as he tries not to spill pasta out of his mouth. Santana just grins at you slightly, not bothering to ask a question as she waits for you to answer.

"Um, I was just on a date." You stutter, "You know...Valentine's date and all." You awkwardly point towards your booth and smile at Santana. Her eyes avert to her glass of wine quickly.

"Oh thats great." Sam smiles at you. A fast silence fills the three of you and you glance between the two of them.

"I-uh, didn't mean to interrupt." You say, "I'll just uh...go." You point towards the bathroom. "It was so great seeing you guys." You just want to get out of here and disappear but Santana grabs at your hand.

"Wait, I'll come with." She smiles and stops you in your tracks. She puts her napkin on the table and gives Sam a sweet smile. "I'll be right back honey." He nods and grins back at you.

"Always gotta go in pairs right?" You say nervously and you can't help but roll your eyes at yourself. You are acting like an awkward mess and you think that everyone in the restaurant can notice. He laughs quietly and you and Santana head for the ladies room.

It's a one person bathroom and you barge through the door quickly, almost leaving Santana behind. She stops the door with her hand and crams in behind you, barely making it in in time.

"What are you doing San." You ask as she locks the door behind her.

She folds her arms across her chest. She does that when she's uncomfortable, you've seen it so many times before.

"You're on a date?" She asks with the squint of her eyes and she steps closer.

You nod.

"How come you didn't tell me you were going on a date?" She says. She looks a little angry, but you aren't entirely sure.

"I didn't think I had to tell you." You respond.

Her hip leans up against the small sink and she stares at the ground in thought, "What about all that stuff you said to me at work?"

You think back to the conference room, teasing her like a highschool boy, "What do you mean?"

She shakes her head, "I just um-I thought you were...I don't know." She admits and continues to shake her head towards the ground. You stare at her, wondering what she has to say next.

"Shit I-I'm sorry." She puts a hand on the sink and laughs at herself. "I'm so ridiculous."

"Are you jealous?" You ask, noticing the way her head pops up after you said the word jealous.

"I uh...of course not." She says, "You can date whoever you want."

You smirk, noticing her obvious jealousy and fold your arms together. "You don't have to be jealous." You say grabbing a hold of her chin and guiding her face towards yours. "Because if I do end up sleeping with him tonight I know all I can do is think about you."

"I'm not jealous." She whispers, trying to force her eyes away from yours.

You grab at her chin again, "I know you are Santana." You inch towards her ear, wrapping your lips around it slowly. "I can tell." Her soft moan lulls beneath your ear and you see her close her eyes.

"I'm not-"

"Just admit it San," You kiss down her neck, leaving heated marks there. You tilt her chin up , kissing up the front of her neck and work your way towards the bottom of her chin. You're almost at her lips when she lets out another hot breath.

"Okay okay." She says lowly, "I'm-I'm jealous." She breathes and you take her lips into yours. Her mouth sucks at yours roughly and she slams you against the wall quickly. "I'm so jealous."

You grin as she attacks your lips furiously, her hands are pulling your waist towards hers and her mouth ventures down your neck. You grab at the back of her neck and bring her in closer, you can't get enough of her body against yours and you never want this to stop. You have to admit, Santana is sexy as hell when she is jealous and sometimes you wish you could make her feel like this more often, instead of you always feeling the same way. You know it's terrible, but you'll do almost anything for her to want you.

"Shit Santana." You moan as she brings your hands up above your head. Your hips jut out, colliding with hers in an instant and you're dripping with wetness. She begins to unbutton the tops of your tight jeans and you stare at her hands there. You could watch them all day. You hear a rattling at the door and you know someone is waiting to use the bathroom. "One minute!" You shout towards the door and Santana smirks at your response. "Hurry." You tease as you look at Santana's fingers disappear under your panties. One of her hands is still holding your arms back and you don't have much control to move. Your hips are the only things that wave up and down to the motion of her fingers.

She's grinning before she plunges two fingers inside you.

"Shit." You pant lowly and move your hips in time with her pumping. You watch her, staring at your center in lust as she licks her lips slowly.

"Are you gonna cum Britt Britt?" She teases as she smirks at you.

You nod furiously, unable to stop the frantic motion of your hips. You moan, "Yes."

She pumps faster. "Yes." You pant again and you can feel your orgasm coming. "Yes San." You say and her palm rubs up against your clit. You are cumming in seconds and you hear another rattle at the door. "Shit...one sec!" You shout and you look into the mirror. "We'll say you were sick or something." You say to Santana as she double checks herself in the mirror.

She grins, "Right."

/

"Puck is so disgusting" You look towards the conference room as Puck puts a sly hand on Brittany's shoulder, her smile makes you cringe. You feel like you're about to crush your punch when Rachel speaks up.

"He is an ass, but he can be nice on occasion." She says dipping into her assorted fruit plate.

You're looking at Rachel with disgust, mad that she would even say that. Puck is terrible, and he reminds you of the worst kind of experience.

"Yeah, right." You say, the cup in your hand squeezing tighter.

Rachel gulps down another grape, "Some people would say that about you too." She shrugs and silently looks down at her plate, realizing she may have said something wrong.

You shake your head in silence, "I'm not like him."

"You're not." She says, "But even in the seemingly worst looking people, you should always try to search for good there."

You sit on her words as she continues to eat, glancing towards Brittany and looking back at you with sympathy. Maybe Rachel is right, Brittany sees the good in people, maybe there was something good left in Puck. You sure know that she still liked you even though you are probably the biggest ass on the planet. You lean against the counter in the break room and take a sip from your drink, still watching Brittany and Puck.

"He's still a fucking ass-whole." You cringe as Brittany places a finger delicately over his bruise, her grin beams with friendliness.

Her touch is better than the prettiest sunset.

"Are you in love with her?"

"I-what?" You're caught off guard and you can feel yourself beginning to sweat. "Um...I. Why would you ask that." You're sipping your punch out of nervousness and your words are trapped in your mouth. You keep your eyes off Rachel as she takes a step closer, trying to decipher what you're really thinking, she tends to do that alot.

"I didn't mean to-I was just asking." She says, her brown eyes still looking through you with such delicacy. Her hands are soft on your shoulder and you feel a coldness there. Your eyes drift towards the conference room again and you look away fast, unable to take in the sight of Brittany and Puck merely talking to each other.

"Well you're always just asking aren't you." You say, not kindly, towards Rachel. You're out the door before she can protest and you are headed straight for the conference room. You don't know how Rachel puts up with you so much and you know you should apologize to her later, but sometimes she just makes things so hard. She brings up things that resonate true and you know you're not going to be able to run away from them forever.

You're barging through the conference room door before you know it, "We need to talk." You mumble in Brittany's ear and her eyes wander between you and Puck.

"She's kind of busy here." Puck interrupts and nudges you out of the way lightly.

You push his shoulder away heatedly, "Don't fucking touch me." You spit.

Brittany immediately takes hold of you and drags you out of the conference room. You're struggling to keep up with her as she leads you out of the office and into the stair halls. You almost stumble as she twists you around and glares her fiery blues at you, "Stop." She says.

"Stop what?" You almost yell and you're almost certain you know what she is talking about.

The rotation of her eyes are easily recognized, "Stop being jealous. You have no right to be jealous." Her words are stern, with such tenacity you almost don't recognize her.

"Do you know the things he said to me Brittany? He beat up Sam for gods sake!"

"Well maybe you should go find your fiance instead of talking to me right now." She replies, her eyes drifting to anywhere but yours. "Sam obviously still cares about you."

"Then why did you tell him about us, huh?" You say, outrage is begging to escape from your lips but you hold back your temper.

Her eyes are like a soothing sedative.

Her breath hitches for a moment as she brushes a hand through her blonde hair, "I didn't...I didn't do it to hurt you." She says, words barely escaping her.

"Well you really managed to." A disturbance tremors through your body.

/

"Shit!" Everyone mumbles as they duck below the window. Santana is pacing outside in the cold and you can't help but feel worried about her. Sam has just announced their wedding date to everyone and Santana stormed out without hesitation, shoving through you and heading for the crisp air outside.

"Do you think she saw us?" Finn says, lifting his head a bit to look out the window again.

"Why exactly are we hiding?" Kurt whispers as he kneels off the ground. "She's been out there for a while, maybe someone should go talk to her?" He says.

You look towards Sam, he's sitting on a chair in the corner of the conference room and his face looks stunned. You're panting massively and you can barely keep your heartbeat from thumping through your chest. Nervousness has never been your strong suite and you have trouble hiding your worrying mind as you fiddle with your fingers.

"She looks angry." Mercedes says looking out the window.

"She always looks angry." Kurt responds.

"Maybe she has cold feet." You hear Tina whisper to the two.

The more people talk the more your anxiety advances. Santana is out there, she ran away and you can't believe she couldn't even stand up to Sam. She always runs when things get hard and you shake your head in disappointment as you watch her pace in front of the building some more. You look over at Rachel trying to comfort Sam and he still stares solidly ahead.

"Did I say something wrong?" Sam whispers to himself as his thoughts waver. Rachel glances at you for a moment and you look away, unable to see Sam like this.

"Maybe there's someone else?" Mercedes says aloud and Sam zips his head her way, listening in.

"Why would you say that?" Kurt nudges her on the shoulder, gazing out the window.

She shrugs, "I don't know. It could happen."

"Do you really think she would do that?" Tina responds.

"Maybe he did something." Kurt says again.

"You guys are ridiculous." Finn interrupts, whispering.

You can't handle this anymore. This is more terrible than your worst nightmare, even more terrible than when they found that bird in your locker. Your heart is stumbling, struggling to keep steady and your breathing is coming in short.

"Guys stop." You say quietly beside them, they don't acknowledge you.

"Maybe she'll be like a runaway bride." Tina says.

"Oh, I call dibs on her dress when she does."

"Do you think the other guy is hot?" Kurt says.

"Do you think there is another guy?" Mercedes questions.

Your heat races, "There isn't another guy." You blurt.

Everyone turns to look at you, suspicious.

"How do you know?" Finn asks.

Your words come out like vomit, "I slept with her." You admit softly. The four of them go silent, eyeing you harshly as you cower towards the ground. "Shit. Shit. Shit." You mumble and close your eyes tight. Maybe if they don't see you, this will stop happening.

"What did you say?" Sam says from the corner and you almost forgot he was in the room. He stands up abruptly, shoving Rachel out of the way and heading towards you. "What the hell did you just say?" He asks again, darkness in his eyes.

Kurt is looking at you both worried, slowly inching in front of you to block Sam, "Sam, calm down…" He's looks at you again, "It's just Brittany being Brittany." He says, trying to lighten the mood. "I'm sure she's just saying nonsense."

You gulp, hoping that Sam might calm down before he starts yelling at you.

"Sam, she's just joking." Rachel says trying to grab at his arm. Sam is glaring at you, silent like hawk and everyone listens to your heavy breathing.

"Santana wouldn't do that." Sam shakes his head, his words trying to convince his mind, "I don't believe you." He says to you. "You're lying."

"Of course she is." Rachel stammers looking around, "It was just a stupid comment."

"I'm not stupid." You respond fast as Rachel lets out a breath.

"She wouldn't do that." He convinces himself and storms out of the conference room.

"This is a hot mess." Mercedes says and everyone watches as Sam confronts Santana outside.

You are in more trouble than you know.

/

"I was angry Santana." Redness begins to form in her eyes that disturb the natural blue. Her eyes tearful as she begins to speak again, "I was so angry at you."

Her words bite.

"I wanted you to do something. I wanted you to do something so bad that I took it in my own hands. I was selfish because I wanted you to acknowledge us San, we fuck then we forget and you never acknowledge this Santana." She sniffs, wiping her nose that glows pink. "I'm so so sorry San...but I just did something that you were too scared to do."

"Yeah well you had no right." You say fuming. You're stepping into her space and your eyebrows furrow deeply, "You outed me Brittany. I know you may be completely comfortable with hooking up with anyone on the planet but that doesn't mean I am."

"San I'm sor-"

"Now everyone in the fucking office thinks I'm a slut and Puck keeps hounding me about having threesomes." You're pointing a finger through her chest and she steps back scarcely. You can feel the hole you're tearing into her heart and you don't know how to stop it. "You've fucking humiliated me Brittany. You humiliated me and now everyone thinks I'm a huge joke."

"Santana…"

"Sam can't even look at me and I have to sleep with Rachel Berry."

She's gripping at your hand now, trying to soothe your anger, but your fury is fogging, even to yourself. "And I know that you're right Brittany, I know that you're right about everything and it makes me so upset that you're right because it makes me feel so cowardly."

"You're not a coward."

You grab at her hands, trying to grasp onto the one thing that makes you feel right and you try hard not to let go, "I feel like a coward because I can barely even look at you and tell you how I feel."

She grips your hand tighter, a dampness through your fingers from her crying and you want to fix her so bad.

"Sometimes I want to run away because I can't stand to look at you without getting upset with myself." You say, pointing deep within you.

"Don't-"

"I love you Brittany." You admit and your eyes widen in shock. "I..um.." You a stuttering over your words and you barely have time to register what you've said when you look at Brittany's face. A light smile begins on her lips before her eyes dart behind you. You follow her gaze, wide and anxious as you turn your head behind you.

"Sam…" You breath, "How long were you-"

He bulldozes past you, unable to hide his disappointment as he leaves you and Brittany in the hall.

You think, confessions may be the death of you.