I'm currently suffering from mild insomnia. I sleep for three hours a night and then... nothing, nada, zilch. No rest for the wic- err Slicerness means I'm rather loopy at the moment. After fanta- I mean thinking about norithic's character tailsko i gots ta thinkin.

What if tails made a machine to visit alternate universes!

You'll have to forgive any spelling grammar errors I'm tired, cranky, loopy, and just a wee bit horny... damn morning wood.

ANYWAY! Enjoys your crack.


Tails was bored. Simple as that. He was currently 14 and experiencing the wonders of puberty. He kept himself from jumping Cream, Amy, Wave or and of the females he knew by locking himself in his lab and simply brainstorming on what to build or do on that given day.

He had already build an arm cannon that was stored in his glove. All he had to do was clap twice and his arm was covered in what looked like the lovechild of Megaman's 'mega-buster' and Samus Aran's arm blaster cannon thing. (AN: Does her gun have a name?)

A growth power gem, which was actually a failed experiment trying to make the first ever man(fox)-made chaos emerald, it was a thin cylindrical green crystal about 3 inches in length. All he had to do was loop a heavy duty string through it and wear it around his neck and he had damn near infinite stamina, Came in handy when Eggman send his egg-themed robot of the week after everyone.

After working out with Knuckles for most of his thirteenth year of life he was actually rather fit now. As compared to his scrawny ten year old self back in the day he felt he had improved by leaps and bounds.

But no, his crowning achievement was the Multi-verse door.(R) it was exactly how it sounded. If you didn't know any better one would assume it was just a normal door, just sitting in the middle if his 'safe room', a room several dozens of stories under the ground with several feet of various metal shielding. But in reality it was a door to other dimensions. He wall a little surprised he didn't just appear out of nowhere in a dimension of his choosing. No, it was actually more like a ritzy hotel. His invention simply connected his dimension to the hotel. Incidentally his was dimensional room number 8.

He had made several discoveries over the period of 6 months that he roamed the various universes. He decided to list them off for expositions sake.

Every dimension was numbered by it room number. As stated his was 8. number 1, he later found was actually the base universe. It was 'canon' meaning he was still a short 10 year old, Amy was still obsessed over sonic, (she moved on when tails was turning 13) cream didn't have a gun fetish, (he wasn't sure how that came about but considering vanilla had managed to 'find' enough weapons to fuel a good size army overnight he could only guess cream was introduced to the 'family business') and shadow was still a f*ckin emo. (he grew out of that... mostly)

-Upon the act of opening one of the doors a 'room key' appears in the individuals possession. When one is done visiting dimension (insert number here) all he or she must do is thrust the key into the open air and twist to the left and a door appears so he or she can return to the 'hotel' .

-He would later learn that some dimensions are in fact on 'stand by', only an idea until someone arrives in it. He would also later joke that these kind universes are kind of like a video game, because whenever he left the universe would 'pause'. Only when he returned would the metaphorical 'play' button be pushed. He also found out in these stand by universes he would sometimes gain knowledge of what happened to 'him' up until that point. Memories of his 'life' in that dimension to put it simply.

-Every dimension had a 'gender bender' alternate where everything was the same except everyone swapped genders. Tails nearly threw up when he saw a female eggman. These were generally the odd number after the even. Example: number nine (one dimension after his own) he met Tailsko. He had almost instantly fallen head over tails for her the moment he laid eyes on her, whether this was because she had an ass you could launch a quarter off of and breasts that could easily snap his neck if swung right or simply because she was fun to hang around and brainstorm with was yet to be determined however.

He later learned she had made her own version of the growth power gem, she called it power growth gem though, and it was, if fact, the reason for her rather... jiggly physique. They had compared notes, ideas, and inventions. Eventually he surprised her with a GPG, funnily enough she also surprised him with a PGG at the same time.

They spent the next three days familiarizing themselves with their new bodies.... Each others included .

After 5 months in universe 9 and a promise to visit again at least once a month tails set off to explore the various rooms.

Room 3

Tails exited the door only to find himself in a giant city. The odd thing though was though there was no one around 'Odd, it doesn't appear to be a ghost town' tails noted. He also happened to notice he was wearing black dress pants. There was also a picture in his pocket. After struggling for about 30 seconds he finally got the note out of his pockets (Hey, give the guy a break he's only worn pants a handful of times, all of which were when Tailsko wanted to cosplay(1)) after looking at it for 1.3 nanoseconds he had to hold his nose to hold in the blood threatening to pour out. It was rouge in jean shorts

that may as well have been a thong and a yellow shirt FAR to small for her DD size chesticles. It also had a message at the top, 'tails, I'll cum pick you up'... Wait wasn't come spelled with an O and an E?

As he contemplated rouges intelligence he turned around to observe more of the city. He was the almost given a heart-attack upon seeing Cream suddenly appear 5 feet away from him. At least, he thought she was cream. As far as he knew she didn't have faintly glowing red eyes and light blue and blue-white fur the last time he saw her. Apparently he spaced out while thinking this because when he re-focused his eyes she was gone. Chocking it up to his genius finally giving way to mild schizophrenia he decided to ignore it and get a better look at the city.

He suddenly had a thought pop into his head, 'Tokyo 3'. he blinked slowly and concentrated on where the thought came from, he almost cringed away at what he found. It was memories, his memories to be precise, and they weren't very pleasant to say the least.

It seems, that when he was 4, his mother was absorbed by a giant purple mecha. His father had abandoned him a week later deeming him 'useless' because he mourned for her. (Which made absolutely no sense to him) Leaving tails with a family friend, a teacher at the university his mother and father both went to.

Tails absently noted that his mother was vanilla, his father was shadow, and his 'aunt' was Bunnie Rabbot.

Just as he was about to leave this F'ed up place he saw it. It was in fact a giant walking black skinned skeleton thing.

He felt the strange urge to offer it a sammich.

It was also surrounded from all angles by weird looking helicopters. Did he forget to mention the skeleton, who will now be know as Stabby, was slicing them right out of the sky with a beam sword-like stream of light coming from its right hand? Well sorry about that, but it was. the helicopters, VTOLs, he corrected himself upon seeing it written on the side of the planes, were firing everything from huge machine guns to huge missiles to cherry pies at it. Tails was able to see a lightly shimmering barrier acting as a second skin for Stabby protecting him from all harm... except the pies. Which in retrospect, weren't actually that dangerous making it a moot point

He was about to comment further but he was interrupted as a rather familiar shout from his right demand he "get in" he did quite know what that meant until he turned toward the voice.

It was rouge, in the same outfit as the picture, in what looked to be a purple sports car. After seeing Stabby curbestomp a low flying VTOL he decided 'to hell with it' and grabbed his key (which was hanging from his neck on the same string as his GPG and PGG) and opened the 'return door'. Running through before rouge could even ask what the key was for, unknowingly 'pausing' the world. Only to play again once he came back.


(1) They were having sex on a regular basis for 5 months. Shit happens.


I may continue this later. Not the Evangelion universe though. Just other universes I had in mind


currently reading: Shinji and Warhammer 40k by Charles Bhepin

special thank to: SimmyC whose fic 'the unfortunate life of Shinji Ikari' I used as research because I forgot some of the canon shit that happened.

Now... my stomach won't shut the hell up and it 9 am which means it breakfast time. C ya people.

EDIT: Yet more capitol letter!! And some minor spelling mistakes.