"Fiancé?" My whole world started spinning around me making it hard to stand. He did it again; he managed to lie to me all over again. Rachel extended her slim, manicured hand expecting me to shake it but I was in shock. "I…have to go." I turned around and stumbled my way to my car. I sat in front of the wheel gripping it until my fingers went white. I was too shocked to move.

"Are you okay?" I turned to see her staring in at me through the window. I nodded and put the car into reverse.

pit-patter

the raindrops keep fallin on my window pane

the city callin me

out

into the night

with promises of

pleasures and sweet delight

it's wrong

it's oh so wrong

but I want it

to be right...

I was sitting in the car in front of Joe's. I knew I shouldn't go in, but I really felt like tequila. I was past drinking my sorrows away though, I had to think of my daughter… His daughter. The irony of it made me laugh and suddenly I burst into heart wrenching sobs. Maybe just one shot, what harm could it do? I sure as hell deserved it. I stepped out of the car and entered Joe's. I headed to the bar and ordered a shot from Joe.

"Are you sure Mer? I thought you'd given up." He asked concerned.

"Joe, I don't need a lecture, I need a drink."

"How about a mineral water?"

"Joe, just give me the shot." I growled in frustration.

"All right, but I'm only thinking of you Mer. And just one shot, okay?"

"I am thirty two years old, I'm allowed to drink whatever I goddamn want!" I bashed my fist on the polished wood top.

Six shots later and everything was starting to seem better, a little hazy, but better.

you know you've got me walkin on the sidewalk

talking, movin, lookin

stopping, barking like a dog

barking…

and all the raindrops keep on landing on my face like splinters

each one branding me

showing me who I am

I was in the parking lot now but I forgot where I'd parked my car. Hell, I forgot I what my car even looked like. Everything was a blur to me as I stumbled between the cars. I remember Joe telling me he was calling Izzie to come get me. I remember him leaving to take the call and I remember grabbing the bottle of tequila from the bar as I left while he was in the back on the phone. I ducked behind a car as I saw Joe come out of the bar looking for me. I didn't feel like going home right now. I took another swig and couldn't figure out for the life of me why I gave up this amazing drink. I loved the way it burned as it slid down my throat and numbed my insides. I wanted to go somewhere but I had no car. I figured I'd just hitch a ride, what harm could it do? Now where have I heard that before? I made my way to the sidewalk, tequila bottle in my right hand and I raised my other hand trying to hail a car. I walked for what felt like forever but no one stopped for me. As I started to give up hope I heard a horn in the distance. I turned to see a car pull up beside me. The driver rolled the window down and leaned out.

"Meredith, what the hell do you think you're doing?"

"Derek?" I squinted towards the direction of the familiar voice. He was angry, I could see it in his eyes. "What brings you out here?" I slurred smiling at him.

"Get in!" he'd gotten out of the car and was now steering me towards the passenger side.

"Where are we going?"

"I'm taking you home. Izzie and George are scared to hell not knowing where you are. So was I." he spotted the tequila and grabbed it out of my hand. I watched him throw it into the dark and heard it smash. "I thought you'd given up drinking." He growled turning back.

"When in Rome." I shrugged.

"What the hell's that supposed to mean? You know what, it doesn't matter. We're going home." He lent over to buckle me up. I breathed in his familiar scent savoring it on my nose. I couldn't take it anymore, I needed him. I creeped my hands up under his shirt and placed them flat against his hard body. God, he felt good. I felt him shiver under my touch and pulled my hands out from his shirt, grabbed his head and brought his lips to mine. I kissed him hard tasting him with every part of my mouth. His hands came to my arms to pull me away but he started to kiss me back, pulling me hard against him. It was a long, passionate kiss that only broke when we had to come up for air. When we did Derek seemed to compose himself and take note of the situation. He put the car in drive and pulled back into the traffic.

take me home to dry

hang me out for a line and I'll tell you no lie

too much pressure

is sending me…

and the raindrops land on me…

can't you see? can't you see?

I'm going under…I'm going under…I'm going under and I can't turn round

I woke up to someone playing with my hair. I opened one of my eyes to see Emma lying next to me. I felt like a jackhammer was working away at my brain and I swear I had had the strangest dream.

"Good morning." Oh my god, I knew that voice. I turned to see Derek sitting on the chair beside my bed. "You're daughter wanted to see you."

Hey I know this is a really random chapter but it just came to me as I wrote it. I was listening to the song Going Under by Rockers Hi-Fi and it kind of influenced it. I hope you like please tell me if you do because I'm not so sure about it. Constructive criticism also accepted (but please keep it nice lol :D)