A/N: I LOVE THIS ONE! Its a very dark and sort of vulnerable Doctor, straight after The God Complex, so i'm sure you can see where this is going... This, as far as i can remember, has no smut whatsoever, so if you were looking for sex, there's none in this chapter...
I wanna thank everyone who's been reviewing... Thank you guys... I WOULD LOVE SOME MORE THOUGH! Please... *hinthintnudgenudge
My Nightmare Is You
He'd already opened his door. And no matter how hard he tried, the image just wouldn't fade. He'd seen it before, in his dreams, his nightmares…. It was one of the only reason's he was glad that he rarely slept. But when he did… It became harder and harder for him to wake up.
It wasn't the first time it had happened. And he knew it wouldn't be the last. He just wished, with all the power of the universe, he wished, at it would end. He didn't need to see it again. HE didn't need to relive it.
He stumbled from the TARDIS, barely hanging on to Rory as Amy ran forward.
"River!" He heard her cry, as if River weren't just a few steps before them. He looked up, watching as she stood from her cot and ran to the bars of her cell. Her hands wrapped around the iron gate, her knuckled turning white.
"What is it? What's happened?"
He destroyed Amy's faith. People died… Innocent people… And then, the door. That's what happened, not that he told her. He remained quiet, staring past her head at a spot on the wall. There was a muffled sound surrounding him, he supposed it was Amy explaining what was wrong.
She didn't know though. Amy… She didn't know that here, in this place, with this woman, was the last place he wanted to be right now. She thought she was helping. Who else was better to help the Doctor other than the woman who seemed to know him best?
River was talking to him now. What was she saying? He couldn't hear her properly, nothing but a light buzzing. But he thought he could guess. The Sonic. To open the doors… That's what she'd want. She'd want to be able to touch him, hold him… Make sure he was alright.
He pulled out the screwdriver, waving it casually over the door. It clocked open, and then, he was in her arms. She said something… To him? No, to Rory. He looked up, blank eyes watching as his two friends slowly returned to the TARDIS. They shot one last look over their shoulders. They were worried. About him… They didn't need to be.
He felt River sit him down on her cot, but he barely paid attention. She knelt in front of him, hands on either thigh and eyes staring in to his own. She didn't say anything. He didn't expect her to. He knew her well enough now to know… She knew him better.
He looked away first, once again staring at a spot on the wall.
"I rarely sleep you know"
His voice sounded strange. Was it because his voice had disturbed the silence that had previously surrounded them? Or was it because he sounded… Defeated? She didn't say anything… He didn't want her too.
"But when I do… Do you know what I see?"
He looked in to her eyes now, searching for a hint. A hint that yes, she did know, she knew everything about his dreams. There was no recognition in her eyes though… She didn't know.
"I see you… And I hate it."
She recoiled… Only slightly. Anyone else would have thought she was just fidgeting… He knew better.
He knows it sounded harsh… But she didn't know what he meant…
"My nightmares are filled with images of you. Everything… You. And I can't tell you why… And I hate it."
He stood, stepping away from her and backing in to a corner.
"You're my biggest fear River"
She stood, eyes wide with confusion.
"I don't understand Sweetie."
He scoffed, chuckling as he looked away. He turned back to her, shaking her head.
"Spoilers"
The word tasted foul in his mouth. He hated it. He hated what it stood for. What it meant.
"I can't tell you River. And it's killing me. But you… It's not just you, you know. It's everyone. And I can't even name who, because than you'll know… And you can't know River. Spoilers and all."
He paced up and down her cell, his shoulder brushing the wall. She remained quiet, just watching him as he ranted.
"How can you stand it? How can you…. You know things… Bad things. Bad things that are going to happen. How can you stand knowing it, and not saying anything. Not changing it. Why won't you change it?" He was standing in front of her now, hands on her shoulders, and he knew that was all that was keeping him upright.
She looked up at him, eyes so very knowing.
"I can't." She whispered, a small, sad smile tugging at the corner of her lips. Her hands caressed the side of his face, pulling him down closer to her. "I can't stand it. You may think I can… But I really, really can't. It hurts, Doctor. That every time I see you, you know me less."
He pulled her closer, hands tight around her back. He closed his eyes, images flashing across his mind.
"How do you do it River?"
He sighed, body finally relaxing in to her embrace.
"I think of all the adventures that wait for you. All the fun we're going to have. And oh, my love, do we have fun."
He held her, the two standing as close as possible in the middle of her cell. Her head was on his chest, turned in to his neck. His right hand was lost in her hair, his left running up and down her back. He had no idea how long they stood there, her listening to the double beat of his hearts, and him breathing in her scent. But it must have been a fair while. Because there was Amy, at the door of River's cell. Rory was leaning in the TARDIS' doorway, and Amy smiled apologetically.
"Phone call Doctor"
River stepped away from him, smiling.
"Go on then you. Save the universe. Just… Have fun doing it."
He grinned at her, kissing her forehead and smiling as her nose scrunched up.
"Yes ma'am."
He ran past her, jumping into the TARDIS, Rory only just managing to get out of the way. He swung himself back out, staring at River.
"Thanks."
She grinned, shooing him away with a flick of her hand, a soft smile his only reply.
A/N: AMY AND RORY WERE BACK! And for those of you wondering, there will be a Pond Family bonding chapter, just later on... I have 52 chapter for Bowties, Fezes and Stetsons, which all have the basic plot or something already written... I hoped you guys liked it, and please, please, please review some more... Love you guys, bye!
