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Enjoy people

SM


I woke the next morning, marvelling at the feeling of consciousness

After all the singing and cheering, during which I wore a constant, trademark blush, Charlie and Renee both stood and walked over with a card a small package in hand. Renee handed me the package but I opened the card first. It was a typical card with flowers and teddies on the front and the beginning of a little poem which finished inside. It was the hand written words that caught my eye.

We're so proud of you. We love you very

Much no matter what you choose.

Enjoy your life together.

Happy Birthday

Love Mum, Dad and Phil. X

This really hit me, "Enjoy your life together," what was that all about. Who was I supposed to spend the rest of my life with? Jacob? No, it couldn't be him because there was someone I couldn't remember. Someone who I was so involved with, that I was going to spend the rest of my life with. Who was it? Surly if they were that important I would remember them. My face creased in frustration and concentration as I tried to unlock my memory. Jacob coughed next to me and I realised I had been squeezing the package in my hands a little too tightly. I loosened my grip and began gently unwrapping it. I pulled the paper back to reveal a small, brown photo album. There was a little inscription on a small, copper coloured plate with the words "Our life" in beautiful italics. I ran my hand along the words and hesitated. It was clear that there was a picture in the front, and I realised with horror and anticipation that it would be the key to everything that I had lost. It would be the reminder I had been waiting for with reluctance. The whole reservation seemed to hold its breath, anticipating my reaction. I saw Jacob tense up next to me and seem to build a wall between us. He let my hand go and I was suddenly alone. Renee and Charlie had sat back down but both sat on the edges of their chairs and seemed to drip with confusion. Neither was completely sure if they should have given me this gift. Was it really that bad that I found out what I had forgotten? Was it so terrible that it had everyone waiting for my reaction?

My finger slipped underneath the cover and I flipped it over, revealing the picture inside.

I recognised it instantly as having been taken in Renee's house in Phoenix. There I was in all my glory on the little cream-coloured couch, gazing into the golden eyes of Edward.

As soon as I saw his beautiful, God like face looking at mine, I remembered everything. Was picture had been taken when he and I had visited Renee, using the tickets from Esme for my last birthday. I didn't remember the photo being taken so Renee must have done it on the sly. It was a really good one though, completely natural. We sat facing each other, my hands in his, my eyes gazing, adoringly into his, that wonderful, crooked smile curling around his mouth and the corners of his eyes. Because of the almost constant sunlight in Phoenix, Edward had been forces to stay inside nearly the whole trip. I imagined the looks he would have gotten had he gone out, and the sun had glittered of his skin like a diamond with a million facets.

I remembered Esme, Carlisle, Rosalie, Emmett, Alice, Jasper, James, Laurent. I also remembered the new-borns and Victoria.

Edward was dead. He had been killed, that was why I had had forgotten him. I had watched him die, Not from a bear attack, like Charlie had mentioned, but Victoria slicing his head off with her bare, marble hand. I had seen his decapitated body, writhing and twitching. That was when I had passed out. In an attempt to keep the few tatters of my sanity, my own mind had erased all memory of vampires. I was angry an it for doing that. The only constant friend I had had all through my life had simply deleted all recollection of the one thing that had been my world. My right had slipped, unconsciously, to my left, feeling for my third finger; feeling the finger that should hold my engagement ring. Touching only empty skin, I became aware of my surroundings again. The gently smouldering fire, and the glare of all the eyes, trained on me. I couldn't be around people now. Letting the album slip from my hands to the earth, I stood shakily, and ran. I was in no fit state to be walking, let alone running, but the emotion coursing through my veins was enough to give my legs the energy needed to take me away from people, into the surrounding trees. I was only just aware of the worried voices that called my name but no one followed, which I was glad of. It was pitch black when I finally entered the confine of the trees, but somehow, I didn't trip once. I just kept running blindly, deeper and deeper in to the forest. The tears finally came and spilled over. I screamed at the top of my lungs, the sound resonating through the trees and scaring the few animals that were still up. I was then aware of my follower. From the silence after my scream it was easy to hear the other set of footsteps, even on the soft, muffling earth. I was hardly running now, though they stayed just a little behind, giving me my space.

I ran up to the nearest tree and threw myself against it, grappling at the rough bark until my finger bled. This did nothing to numb the pain, only added on to it, hurting from another part of my body. The tears and screams continued to seep from every pore of my body. Exhaustion finally hit me, and my lags crumpled under me, and I let myself fall to the ground. I was waiting for the feeling of the dank, earth to hit me but realised I was held just a few inched from the floor by a pair of, hot, solid arms. They curled around me and held me tight against an even more solid and warmer chest. I cried, and screamed and repeatedly hit my follower, slamming the chest with my already sore hands. It wasn't personal; I just needed to lash out at something. The arms never let go though. Jacob's voice was a balm to my inconsolable thoughts.

"Ssshhh, hush, its ok, let it all out," my thumping of his chest became weak and pathetic and I eventually gave up. He was holding me so tightly, almost like I would fall apart in his arms if he loosened his grip at all.

We sat there for hours. The deep night crept in and the wind picked up and whopped around us. Jacob positioned himself as a wind break for me and I stayed warm enough, I supposed, not that I was able to feel anything like that. All I could feel was hurt and sadness. More then once, I wondered if being cold would have numbed the pain any but didn't have the guts to try. Neither of us spoke, we simply sat there in the middle of the forest floor, me cradled in his arms.


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