Loneliness in the World
Edward wouldn't stop saying sorry. Jacob was still furious with Edward. I had to get stitches in my cheek. Every time Jake would look at me, you could see a tear drop glistening on his face. It has been a three days since the time. My period finished very early. I was at Emma's house, listening to music, when Manny barged into the room. She looked at me and looked at my stomach.
"CHARLIE! We need to get you a test, now! EMMA!"
"What!" yelled Emma. Then she looked at my stomach too.
"Why do you keep looking at?" Then Snake walked up stairs and starred at my stomach too.
"LOOK AT YOUR STOMACH!" I felt my stomach and there was...another bump. But this wasn't any type of color. I felt it again, and gasped. I held my mouth shut and started to hyperventilate. I ran to the bathroom and looked in the full body mirror, I saw the bump. I screamed and fell to the floor.
"No! No! This is impossible!" I screamed over and over again. Snake starred at me in disbelief, but he was also confused.
"We need to get you a test now," yelled Manny. Jacob wasn't here because he was at my house, checking in on Bella. Snake, being the idiot that he is, decided to call Carlisle. I begged him not to, but he didn't listen.
"Hello? Hi Doctor Carlisle, we have an issue. Charlie has a-." I grabbed the phone from Snake.
"Carlisle," I cried, "I don't know how, I need to...can I come home? Is Jake there?"
"I'm not home. Charlie, what's wrong?"
"Carlisle, I don't know for sure, but I think I'm…I'm…I'll call you right back." I hung up the phone. I called the house phone next, Rosalie picked up.
"Hello?"
"Rose? It's me, Charlie; I need you to put Jacob on now."
"Carly, what's wrong?" I didn't have time to correct her.
"Put him on! I have to talk to him!"
"Mutt, it's for you." I hated when Rosalie referred him to things like that.
"Charlie? What's wrong?"
"Um...there is a bump I just found on my...stomach. I...I think I'm...oh my gosh," I cried. I didn't know how to tell him, I didn't know if it was for sure that I was...pregnant. I felt my stomach again. Snake ran down stairs, to get Spike I guess.
"Babe, what's wrong? I'll be there in a second."
"No! I'm...I'm going there. I'll...I need to get a test done." Manny took the phone from me.
"Jacob, we think she is...pregnant. She has a bump right between her stomach and her...lower region. We're going to the house, all of us." You could hear him growl.
"I KNEW THIS WAS GOING TO HAPPEN! I...we should of never...put her on the phone please Manny." Manny handed me the phone.
"Charlie...we'll get through this, we'll have the baby and-."
"WHAT? NO! I CAN'T! I'm going to get an-."
"No...I won't let you; you are not killing that baby!" He wanted to keep the baby?
"I don't even know if I am. Jake, I'm scared." Manny and Emma sat down on the floor with me. Even if I was having a not normal child, a pregnancy test would still tell me if I was pregnant or not. Maybe we could put it up for adoption; maybe I could give it to a vampire who needs it. Maybe I could give it to Rosalie.
"We'll get through it together, I could get a job and a house and we could live some where happy, together. I love you."
"I love you, too. Um...maybe we could put it up for adoption."
He laughed, a dark laugh, no humor at all in his voice. "And who would take it?"
"Rosalie, I mean she's wanted one for a while and-." He cut me off.
"I DON'T WANT THAT CRAZY THING TAKING CARE OF OUR CHILD!"
"Then I'm getting rid of it. I...I CAN'T DO THIS JAKE! I'M ALREADY HURT AS IT IS! I...I just can't." Manny hugged me tightly. Tear drops flowed lightly down my face, making permanent burns on my face.
"Charlie, we could do this together, I love you." Manny took the phone out of my hand…I couldn't speak anymore.
"Jake, we'll be right there." She hung the phone up and Snake came back upstairs. He picked me up; I mean I weighed only two pounds. Snake put me in the back with Emma and Manny. I had my head in Manny's lap, and my feet on Emma's lap. I cried and Manny stroked my hair and cheek.
"It's going to be okay Charlie," she kept telling me, but I knew that it wasn't going to be. I...I don't know what to do. Snake looked back every ten minutes or so. I couldn't be pregnant; I had my freakin' period when we had sex! I touched my stitched up cheek and cried even harder.
"Charlie, it's going to be okay. Jake loves you, he isn't going to leave you, and he is going to help you with the baby." Then Snake pulled the car over to the side.
"SNAKE WHAT THE HELL?" screamed Emma.
"THAT KID KNOCKED YOU UP? ARE YOU KIDDING ME? And I trusted you Charlie to be smart, I trusted him to be smart. He seemed so nice! How could you be such an idiot?" Obviously he didn't know what was going on.
"Snake, stop yelling at her! It's not like she planned to get pregnant!
Give her a break! She loves him and he loves her! So don't tell her she is
an idiot!" Emma yelled back.
"No," I interrupted, "I am...I'm sorry Snake, I'm so sorry." The tears started to come out again. Snake rested his head on the steering wheel. Manny started to stroke my face again.
"Charlie, I'm sorry I yelled, but I think you could have been a little more responsible; did you use a condom?" I shook my head no. Manny and Emma gasped and looked at me in shock. Snake did the same.
"We weren't prepared. It just happened so fast...I'm sorry. It's my entire fault, I pressured him into it. I basically crawled onto him and made it happen. Esme was right, I am all too willing."
"Bringing yourself down isn't going to help anything. Just, let's go to your house now, we need Carlisle to check you, okay?"
"He's not home," I whispered. She leaned down to kiss my forehead and continued to stroke my hair.
"Well then we'll get Alice, she has almost as much training as Carlisle."
We finally got to my house. I wouldn't get out of the car, afraid to face my family, especially Edward. I had to get carried out of the car, by Jake! I hung onto his neck, burring my face into his neck.
"Charlie, you can't be afraid; they are going to help you. They are your family, they took care of Bella, and they are going to take care of you."
"I don't want it! I can't be! I'm not, I'm not!" He kissed my forehead, trying to comfort me, but it wasn't helping. I tried every technique I could think of; counting to ten; kissing Jake; or just breathing. Rosalie was on the couch with Bella and Edward. She looked better than before.
"What's wrong with her?" Edward asked.
"She isn't feeling well," Jake answered, thank god, "We're going to go take her upstairs to lie down." Rosalina was suddenly with us, too.
Edward looked at me strangely, but didn't say anything. Rosa took me from Jake's arms and carried me up stairs. I guess Jake wanted to be with Bella, once again. My legs weren't working, at all. If they were to put me down, I would fall to the ground. My legs would become numb and I would curl up in a ball. Rosa put me on the hospital bed. Alice was there, quietly as she opened a cabinet and took out a metal object.
"Take off your clothes," she commanded. I did as she instructed and sat on the table. That little pixie, with all her might, stuck a metal thing up my private part and I screamed in pain. She was torturing me! THAT HURT LIKE HELL! Jake ran in and saw me completely naked on the hospital table with that metal crap up my lower region. His mouth dropped open. I screamed again at the pain and he ran to me. He took my hand and I squeezed it. He kissed my neck and that calmed me down, but it still hurt like hell. Alice finally took it out of me and I screamed as it felt like there was a cut in there. Alice gasped, and I gaped as she stuck a flashlight in her mouth and looked in there. I closed my eyes, holding back a scream, and vomit. She examined it and observed it like she was studying a work of art.
"Charlie, you have a cut there! I'm so sorry! It must have been the metal plate!" Jake gaped at Alice.
"I'm her sister for heaven sake," she said to Jake, "better me than anyone else." I remembered I was still fully naked and kissed Jake, taking advantage of my nakedness. I laughed as we kissed, but he pulled away. Alice brought the metal plate to the back of the room to a machine and stuck it in there. Then, suddenly, my bump, not the new one, the old one, hurt like crazy. I screamed. My body flopped up and down on the table; then I heard Bella scream. It was happening. Isabella Cullen was having the child and I was turning back into a vampire, baby or no baby. Rose and Edward were upstairs the second my body was gesticulating.
"Morphine!" Edward yelled at Rosalie, as my body continued to flop up and down.
"Alice-get Carlisle on the phone!" Rosalie screeched. Alice ran, escorting Manny and Emma out of the house; Snake, still in the car. Bella's body flopped up and down just like mine, except blood was spurting out of her like a whale.
"What's happening, Edward?"
"He's suffocating!"
"The placenta must have detached!"
My sound went in and out, but I could hear Bella screaming at them, "GET HIM OUT NOW! HE CAN'T BREATHE! DO IT NOW!"
"The morphine," Edward growled, trying to argue back.
"NO, NOW!" Bella screamed. Then I blacked out.
I woke up on an island. There was a little human on the other side of me. It was a...baby. I picked up the baby and cradled him. He looked just like Jake. He looked like me. I starred at the little creature in my hands and cried. I knew this was going to happen to me. Jake was no where to be found. I then saw Jimmy, walking toward us. Why was he here? Where was my Jacob? Where was my little boy's father? I then fell threw the ground. The baby clenched in my hands. Jimmy then jumped to save me.
I woke up my room, I had a t-shirt on and pajama pants. I quickly sat up screaming Jake's name, but no one answered. Rosalina ran in.
"Charlie, what's wrong?" she yelled, running over to me. Then Carlisle walked in. He had a manila folder in his hands. That's it, it's all over.
"Don't tell me, Carlisle, wait till I get Jake." I got up, but before I could take a step, Carlisle was in front of me.
"I think I should just tell you. Jake isn't...feeling right about his emotions and needs sometime to think. Your sister did a very good job excluding the fact that she isn't medically trained."
"Stop trying to change the subject." I ran down stairs looking for him. He was on the couch, his hair was all chopped off, none of my Jake was there. I didn't see him, I saw this different Jake. He was cradling something, Bella's baby, I supposed, but what happened to him? "Jake?" I questioned running up to him. He held his hand up and handed the baby to Rosalie. She greedily took the baby, but gave me a worried look. He brought me outside and to the trees.
"We need to talk." I know that talk. No, this isn't happening. No, impossible, he said that he would never stop loving me.
"What is it Jake? What's wrong? You don't look like yourself. You don't even sound like yourself." I looked in his eyes. They no longer had its hazel qualities; they were dark brown, almost black. I reached over to touch his face, but he flinched away.
"Ms. Cullen, I don't love you anymore." My heart stopped right there. I couldn't breathe. My Jacob doesn't love me anymore.
"No, please don't do this, Jake please!" I tried to fight back the tears. "If this is about the baby, we could keep it! You could name it! Just don't leave me, please. I'll never do it again, I promise." Then a tear fell down my cheek, followed by another one and another one.
"I'm sorry Ms. Cullen. Renesme has won my heart over, forever." Who was Renesme? Then I thought to myself, I know exactly who she is. That is Bella's daughter. "I imprinted on her Ms. Cullen."
"STOP CALLING ME MS. CULLEN! WHATEVER HAPPENED TO 'I'M NEVER GOING TO LEAVE YOU' OR 'WE'RE GOING TO DO THIS TOGETHER?'" Now two by two started coming down my cheek. I couldn't hold them back anymore. She took him away from me. I could be pregnant, and he was leaving me, for a day old baby.
"Didn't you say that only your friends could call you Charlie?" That's it, I got up and slapped him as hard as I could, across the face, and ran down my drive way. He didn't say anything, he didn't even look at me. He went inside and I kept running. A car pulled up in my drive way. I know that car anywhere. Jimmy jumped out of the car and hugged me. I hugged him tightly to me as I kept crying.
"How could I be so stupid?" I said as he continued to hug me.
"What did he do to you Charlie? I have never seen you cry like this, ever."
"Jimmy, I love you, can you stay with me tonight? I'm going to Emma's, and I never want to see him again." What was I saying? I'm insane. I swear. I stuttered and looked down, embarrassed that I even though about it. He starred at me in shock; trying to take in everything I just said, I guess. "You don't have to-."
"Of course! It's just that, I have never heard you say that to me before...Ever. Charlie, what did he do to you?" He touched my stitched up cheek, and held his mouth closed. "CHARLIE WHAT HAPPENED TO YOUR FACE?" Then I felt my stomach touch his; he looked down at my stomach and the tears filled his eyes. He knew I was pregnant, but I wasn't sure yet.
"Come inside with me, please," I cried. But instead of me walking, he picked me up and carried me in. I hid my face in his neck, kissing it as we walked in the house. Edward's mouth dropped open and just starred. You could see the fury through his eyes. Wasn't expecting me to do that, huh Eddie? Carlisle walked down with the results, and I hid my face in his neck again. "Don't tell me," I said into his neck, "Just don't, please, I don't want to know." Jimmy kissed my hair.
"Your going to have to know soon," he whispered. He truly did love me, he really did. How could I be so stupid and pick Jake? I fell for his tricks and he fooled me and went for another girl, for my niece.
"So he told you," Edward said. I looked at him and kissed Jimmy on the neck again. He let me down as I stood in front of Edward.
"Yeah, he did. And you know what sucks? He left me for a baby. Your baby."
"Charlie, I'm so sorry, I truly am." He hugged me and whispered in my ear. It wasn't his fault, not at all. It was hers. Renesme took him away from me. I went back to Jimmy, hugging him; trying to hold back my tears. He kissed my forehead. Alice then walked down the stairs and she gaped at us. She just starred at the two of us.
"Since when are-she found out? Who told her?" She ran over to me, she had this worried expression on her face. She looked at my bloodshot eyes. I was going to become blind if I didn't stop crying.
"Jacob did," Edward said. He shot him a glare.
"Are you okay, honey?" she said, rubbing my back in the process. I couldn't help but falling into Alice's arms. She was so comforting and thoughtful. I could see why she is Edward's favorite sister. I could see why he was always protective over me. I was a total mess. I breakdown over the silliest things, but in this case, I'm breaking down because I'm not loved by the love of my life. Hopefully, he is going to love our child. He has to. If he doesn't, I know that I am truthfully going to die. The thought of that made me shiver. I saw Manny there, probably was here when Jake went to go talk to me. She gave me a weak smile.
"What are you thinking about?" Jimmy asked. He took my head in his gentle hands, and looked straight into my eye. I locked my arms around his neck. He took my waist bringing me closer and closer to him. Carlisle stopped us before our lips met, once again...
"Carly...you're pregnant," Carlisle blurted. I could see the fury in his eyes as well. The fact that this was happening... Manny ran to me, hugging me. I fell to the floor, Manny falling with me. No, It can't be. Impossible.
"DO YOU SEE WHAT YOU DID TO HER? I KNEW I SHOULD'VE STOPPED YOU FROM THE BEGINNING I DIDN'T TRUST YOU WITH HER!" Jimmy screamed to Jacob. He dropped down to me. Manny was still hugging me. Edward starred at Carlisle in shock.
"SHE'S WHAT? CARLY HOW COULD YOU BE SO- WHY DIDN'T ANYONE TELL ME?" Carlisle and Alice just starred at each other, as if they were having a conversation through there eyes. I couldn't...why would Carlisle say it out loud? I...had to leave. I starred at Edward's sad face, I thought I saw a tear drop rolled down his face. He glared at Jacob.
He spoke, "Jacob, I swear, you do this to my daughter, I will give you a painful slow death, I don't care what anyone says." I thought to myself, what is Edward going to do to Jacob for doing this to me?
He answered my question, "Charlie, I can't hurt him."
"So you'll protect everyone else except me? Typical Edward, of course." I ran up the stairs, Jimmy following from behind. I stopped at the front of the room and starred at Jimmy, grabbing him by the shirt. He flung into me, his lips smashing onto mine. We never let go; Jimmy picked me up and ran us into my room. He put me down and I slammed his body against the wall, pulling him by the shirt so that I could kiss him again. What was wrong with me? I am going crazy. Jake made me crazy. Jimmy made me crazy. I couldn't stop, my brain couldn't take control, and only my actions did now. He took me by waist, bringing me closer. I knew it had to happen, I knew it was going to happen, Jimmy and I. I knew we were going to fall in love and...and just let emotions take control of us both, but he was more careful with my fragile body.
"Charlie," he whispered softly, pushing me away a little just so he can look at my face. I pulled him by the shirt again; bring him to the bed, along with me. "Charlie," he repeated, "Are you sure you want to do this?"
"Jimmy Brooks, I want you to make love to me like you have never imagined, I want you to make me forget why I was so...so upset, yet happy that you came along. Do it before I explode." He looked at me shocked; shocked because of the words I have stated and put them together. Shocked at my eagerness, and of course, shocked at my request. My request for love in this world. Love I didn't have or feel. Love I wanted. Love I needed. Love my child will long for, boy or girl. Love that my body will take in and consume the moment it is presented toward me. Then, I finally realized, the dream that I had was what was happening right now. It was showing me what was going to happen. My stomach kicked before me and Jimmy could even start, and my hands sprinted to my stomach.
"It...jumped. It really jumped!" He smiled and his hands ran to my stomach, too. My hands now ran to his face, my palms cupping his cheeks. They were so soft. Jimmy laid me down slowly on the bed, kissing me as I went down on to the pillows. The night when off from there, and the love I requested was given to me.
