Author's Note: Okay, as I'm writing I'm becoming very aware of the cheesy… I'm okay with it, but I don't know. I feel like Mac really is more girly than we know and I know that Harm would treat Mac with the utmost romantic/sentimental side of himself. I think about the last episode of the show and I'm reminded of the cheesy proposal and how she kissed him in MacLaren's and how they wrapped their arms around each other while talking about the proposal. That's the cheese in my head, so bear with me. I'm glad to see that you are all still enjoying it though. I'm still enjoying writing it! This is a double chapter, because I decided to update so quickly cause I was writing like a fiend today stuck in bed with a cold. You all just reap the benefits! Review and enjoy!
We spend the rest of our Sunday doing odds and ends both in and out of the apartment. We go to a late lunch/early dinner at the Italian place down the street from my apartment, we grab some movies for the evening, and just enjoy each other's company.
It isn't until we are getting ready to fall asleep that I turn to him and ask something that has been bothering me all day, "What do we say at work?"
"What do you mean?"
"Don't you think people are going to know that something is up?"
"Not if we don't say something. You and I have always been really close, Mac. They aren't going to suspect anything. And if they do, would it be the end of the world for either of us?"
"It might be the end of our careers…"
"We are the same rank, and until it becomes a permanent thing, it isn't something that anyone needs to know or care about."
"So we're going to hide out?"
"No, we aren't. We aren't going to act any differently now than we did before. Only now… we come home to each other."
"Harriet will know."
"You're probably right, but that's a bridge we'll cross when we come to it. I'm not worried."
"Well, I'm glad that one of us isn't."
He laughs and pulls me toward him, planting a kiss on my lips before telling me good night. I return the kiss and let my mind wander to the stares of tomorrow. Most people know that something happened with the wedding. They also saw me disappear to some ship in the middle of the ocean and probably assumed that I had run. I don't know how prepared I am for tomorrow.
"Separate or together?"
"What?" He says, confused by my question as I'm putting my shoes on and he is straightening his tie.
"Cars. Are we going to drive in together or do you want to drive separate?" He opens his mouth to say something but I cut him off, "No, you know what? Separate. I bet that the Admiral has some new stuff for me to deal with, so I'll probably want to stay a little late."
"You stay for a little bit, and I'll have dinner waiting for you when you get home. How does that sound?"
"Sounds like something that I can certainly live with."
"Good."
We grab our covers and briefcases before heading to the door, at which Harm stops right in front of me. He turns around and for a minute I'm confused.
"What?"
"I just… you were right… this… at work might be a little difficult."
"Finally, you are seeing how hard this could be to jump into."
"Oh no… not hard. Just new. In fact, I've already figured out what will get us through the day."
I give a confused look his way as he sets his briefcase down, puts his cover on the top and does the same with mine.
"And what is that?"
His answer is to lean down and kiss me while taking me in his arms. It has all the slowness and passion of yesterday morning and leaves me a bit breathless.
"Good morning, you two!" Mrs. Porter says, seeming to be the one who always catches us in this position.
"Good morning, Ma'am." Harm says back to her, with a slight blush on his face and a nervous look back toward me.
"I don't blame you, Sarah. I wouldn't be able to resist the uniform and the wings either."
We both laugh as we watch her get in the elevator.
"How was that supposed to help us?"
"It might not help you, but it let me get a little of that out of my system so I can control myself at work."
Suddenly, I'm struck with a case of the giggles, finding it so funny that he can be like this with me so openly when we have so much baggage between the two of us. It doesn't seem right, but at the same time seems very right.
"Are you always going to be like this?"
"With you… yes. As long as you let me."
I was right about the stares that I would encounter at work. It seemed like everyone was giving me this sympathetic look that shouts 'Poor Colonel MacKenzie didn't make it down the aisle…' I'm about to turn back around from the bullpen when I feel a hand on my shoulder, and know instantly who it is.
"Come on Marine, it's none of their business." He says calmly, guiding me through the bullpen to my office.
"I thought you were stopping for coffee."
"Changed my mind. Figured that you would need help through this one and came here instead."
"I'm a big girl, Harm, I can handle myself."
He just nods, walking into his office without a word.
Later in the day, I find a sticky note on my desk blotter that reads, "I know you're a big girl, but you're my girl. (At least for the next 12 days)" It brought a smile to my face, but I mentally slap him for putting it on my desk where anyone could have come in to drop something off and seen it. In fact, Harriet almost does.
"Ma'am? What has you smiling?" she asks, leaning over my desk to peer at the blue note before I crumple it and throw it into my trash can. I may retrieve it later like a school girl, but I have to show her that it isn't that big of a deal.
"Nothing. What do you have for me, Harriet?"
"More files from the Admiral." She says with a grimace because she has seen the stacks that Tiner has brought in as well. "I guess he was saving a lot for you."
"He was, but I owe him."
"Ma'am?"
"Nothing. Is that all?" I ask, putting off telling her that the admiral graciously gave me and Gunny permission to go off for the past month and a half on a mission I probably wasn't needed for because he knew that I needed to get away from all of it.
"I'm going to ask you this only one time, because I need to see the answer in person. If I like the answer, then I'll drop it. If I don't, I'll tell you so, and you'll know where to find me. Are you okay with everything about the wedding and Mic?"
"Harriet, as much as I wanted it and he wanted it, Mic wasn't the one I was meant to be with. It took a lot to realize it, but we both knew that it wouldn't work in the end."
"What happened?"
"I'm not in a position to say, but I'm good with all of it, Harriet. I think that I've figured out what I want and I know that Mic will find someone else along the way."
"So you figured it out, huh?" Harm says, walking into the office after I know that he was eavesdropping.
"Maybe." I counter, knowing that he's just trying to ruffle my feathers here at work and in front of Harriet.
"Well, have you figured out what you're going to do with all these cases and all this paper work?" he gestures at my now overflowing desk as Harriet says a quick goodbye to both of us to get back to her duties.
"Can you believe all this? It's like he's punishing me for being gone."
"You always were his favorite… he just missed you."
"Yeah, well."
"So, I've got about one more hour of stuff to get done before I head home, how long do you think you've got?"
"I say at least three, but I'll duck out just an hour after you do. There's always tomorrow to get more done."
"Bring it home and I can help you with it."
"Nah, it feels good to have stuff to work on. Besides, I don't want to bring it home with me."
"Why is that? I could keep you in chocolate and tea all night."
I lower my voice, feeling like it is scandalous to be talking about this thing we have going on while we're at work, "Because you said that you wanted us to go all in, just like how we would be if we were really together. I wouldn't bring my work home because I would want to have all my free time to spend with you."
"Sounds good to me." He says with that flyboy smile that makes my toes curl every time.
I stayed a little later than I said I would, but called Harm to make sure that dinner would keep while I worked.
"Thanks for letting me know. I would have worried about you if you hadn't."
"That's why I did. I know you worry too much."
"Mac, I've always worried about you. Involved or not, you have always been somewhere in my mind."
"I know that, and I appreciate that."
"Hurry up then, and you can tell me how much you appreciate it over dinner."
"I'll leave in about a half hour, sound good?"
"Yes, it does."
I hang up the phone with a smile on my face, and I may regret that later because of who walks through my door right after the phone is resting back in its cradle.
"Staying late, Colonel?" The Admiral says, walking into my office, causing me to stand to attention quickly and wipe the smile off my face.
"Sir."
"At ease, I just wanted to come in to see how you were doing."
"I've got a lot of work to catch up on, sir, but I'm grateful for it. Thank you."
"I wasn't coming to check on the work, I was coming to check on you, Mac. But I see by the smile on your face that maybe things are looking up between you and the Commander?"
"Oh… no, sir. There isn't anything that will be changing with Commander Brumby and I. There isn't going to be a wedding."
He stands to walk out and I'm shocked to hear what comes out of his mouth right before he leaves the doorway, "Colonel, I wasn't talking about Brumby."
That man has always had a keen sense of everything surround his people, so it doesn't surprise me that he has picked up on something between me and Harm. In fact, it wouldn't surprise me, with the romantic that he is, if he was thinking that this was a good thing. It would certainly be better than the two of us fighting.
When I walk in the door to the apartment, the smell is amazing and the sight is even better. He's set the table with flowers and sparkling grape juice and is asleep on the couch with his bare feet hanging off the end.
"Harm?" I say, kneeling next to him.
"Hmm?"
"I'm home, are you ready to eat?"
"Hmm?"
Clearly this isn't the way that he's going to wake up from his peaceful slumber, so I do what I know best.
"COMMANDER RABB, SNAP TO!" I yell in my best commanding Marine voice.
He jumps of the couch and nearly knocks me over when he tries to stand at attention. I don't think he realizes what just happened until he hears me laughing on the couch behind him. I can't help but laugh, and after awhile he doesn't find it so amusing. His assault on my sides has me giggling more than the Marine episode and I'm trying to get away from him, but he's pinned me down on the couch.
"Say you're sorry ninja girl, and this is over." He says, still grabbing at my sides and making me laugh even harder than before.
"Never!" I scream back at him, actually enjoying this playful banter.
"Sarah MacKenzie, you better apologize, or I won't stop." He says laughing back at me.
I then turn to my best sultry voice, "Maybe I don't want you to stop." And his hands freeze on my waist.
Of course that was the best distraction ever and I'm able to flip him off me and walk to the kitchen, leaving a very flustered Harm behind.
When he comes to, he walks up behind me and whispers down to my ear, "That wasn't playing fair, Marine."
"Oh well, I was getting hungry."
When we sit down to dinner I tell Harm about Chegwidden's comment, and he seems to not be surprised at all by our CO's actions.
"I think in some way he's been waiting for this to happen. Don't you remember him telling us to not get too close cause we would be working together?"
"I do, but I don't think it is something that he's truly prepared for. You see how bad we fight now, I can only imagine how bad it would be if we were together."
"Well, at least then we would have the makeup sex to look forward too." He says so casually that I nearly spit out my drink and begin blushing like crazy.
This gets me a laugh out of Harm who smiles my way and says, "two can always play at this game, Mac."
After I help him clean up the kitchen, we sit down on the couch to talk through our day, much like we would when we were assigned to work a case together.
"So, first day back, how was it?"
"He gave me a lot of work to do, but I understand why. Other than the work, it was bearable. People are talking behind my back and I can see people glancing my way with a sympathetic look."
"You have a lot of people that care about you, Mac, they can't help but be concerned."
"I think that Harriet and Bud are the worst. Harriet finally asked me today and said that it would be her last time asking, but I have a feeling that I'll be fielding the same question tomorrow."
"That's just Harriet and Bud, and you know that. We're two of the closest people to them, so they are concerned. Has Bud said anything to you?"
"No… I think that he's under strict orders from his wife to not talk to me."
"That would be Harriet…"
"How are you today, having me back at work?"
"I was overjoyed being able to check in on you every time I walked through the bullpen."
"Speaking of checking on me… no more notes on my desk. It was appreciated, but then Harriet walked in and I thought our cover was blown."
"I didn't sign it, she wouldn't have known anything."
"She would have figured it out."
We sit there in silence for a while then, letting dinner settle as I lean into Harm on the couch. He had put in some slow jazz while we were eating and the CD played on while we sat.
"First day coming home to me, how did you feel about that?"
"You had dinner ready and let me talk about my day… I was thrilled."
"I'm glad." He says, grabbing onto my hand then and squeezing it between his two.
"Me coming home to you, how did you feel about that?"
"I didn't appreciate the way you woke me up, but other than that, it was wonderful."
"For future reference, how do you want to be woken up?"
"I don't think we're at that stage yet, Marine." He says, gazing into my eyes and allowing one of his hands to start drawing patterns on mine.
"The PG version?"
"Kissing would have been nice."
"You really are going to always be like this, aren't you? I wouldn't have pegged you for a big PDA man."
"I'm not, actually."
"So what's with the kissy face?"
"I guess I just haven't loved someone enough to want it before."
That earns him the kiss he wanted so badly, and before I know it, we are horizontal on the couch. My brain is telling me that we are going to have to stop this before it goes any further, but my body is telling me to keep going and call in sick tomorrow so we can keep going all night long. When my hand moves to untuck his shirt, it is Harm who stops us by sitting up and moving to the end of the couch.
"You have more will power than me…" I say, trying to catch my breath while still mostly lying down on the couch.
"If your hands would have met skin, there would have been no stopping."
We're catching our breath for a while, both of us in our own thoughts about how far we would have gone if we wouldn't have had our wits.
"Don't get me wrong, Sarah, I want you. I want you so bad that it is literally painful to sit over here."
"So…"
"This has to be different. We have to realize everything else about a relationship with each other before we can venture into that part of it. We can't turn back from that."
"Maybe that's why we're here… we've just not let ourselves go there and want to scratch an itch." I say, and automatically regret it. It sounded horrible and shallow even to my own ears.
"That is why you think I wanted this? To get you into bed?"
"That's not what I meant, Harm, and you know it."
"No, actually, I don't." he says, getting up and grabbing his jacket before walking out the door.
I knew that we would mess it up somehow.
