Story: Hope of Morning, Chapter 7

Disclaimer: I don't own Durarara!/DRRR!

Replies to Reviews -

Nekton: No problem~! ^~^

Inlovewithshizaya: Ikr? And when will they meet again indeed? ^^

Guest 2: I don't want to write Izaya as weak or some sort of unassertive wuss, as he will and does have a strong character, but even the strongest of characters sometimes when left to themselves can do and think some frustrating and 'crazy' $hit. Especially Izaya. Well, anyway, about Shizuo, I most certainly see him having a huge soft spot for children, no matter really who they are, if Shizuo eventually has the chance to get to actually get to know the guy he thought he hated, he'll know that Izaya is in truth a trolling bad ss, but a lonely and sorta messed up child/teen down deep, and he won't be able to bring himself /to/ truly hurt Izaya anymore, even after/if he does regain his memories, because he'll it was one of his only defense mechanism up until then to deal with the anxiety and crap going through his head. Shizuo, being Shizuo, would probably decided something to the lines of, "Since you never really had many constant positive influences in your life, and people just kept coming and going, I'll be one of the ones that will stay, and I swear I'll find a way to fix you, and be the older brother, and even caring parent, figure that you never had. I'll make sure that you let know you it's okay to f*ing cry, once in a while! And I'll have to scold you when or if you start screwin' with people again! By god, I swear I'll be here to you just listen to you and your sisters, and give you that happiness that was completely stolen from you up until now. And if nobody else will do it, then I'll just do it, myself!" Or... something like that... = - =

Not sure how I'm going to make all of this work, but I definitely will find a way too, and I hope you'll stick through with me to the end~?


"So... Where should I begin...?" Shinra mused, placing a hand on his forehead to think of what to really say.

"Where, indeed..." Izaya found himself oddly and frustratingly smirking, still not having forgotten the guy who'd nearly tried to kill him, and would have, moments before, but he couldn't tell why he was even smirking or almost laughing at that. His shoulders were trembling, as he felt like his mind was beginning to go in several different directions, and his thoughts seemed to be running together badly.

"I have an idea! Um, Celty, I'd be really happy if you could stay with us today, but... if you're working, I understand..." Shinra turned to the black rider. His voice sounded kind, so loving in an odd way, but then he was suddenly getting annoyed and frustrated by it; this nostalgic feeling that he couldn't seem to place. It irked him. Everything was frustrating and irritating him. He felt like every person around him was watching him, staring right through his very being.

It was because they all knew something that he didn't that it was really maddening him. Despite how little significance it had, he hated this lack of control. He loathed this lack of knowledge from his part. They all knew more than he did. Even if Shinra told him about his past up to now, it didn't mean he would necessarily remember the various events as they were. And as such, even so, he was going to be judged for all of it, and that did worry him in someway or another, but it wasn't like he was going to say he didn't deserve it. However, even if he accepted that he did, his heart still insisted on sinking into turmoil and chaos at the thought.

But why was this alone affecting him so badly? He normally wouldn't have gotten nearly this worked up over some situation like this, but he was near certain he was close to panic attack, and forced himself out of it. "Calm down, calm down, calm down. He'll think I'm crazy. Calm down, calm down..."

"Hey, Izaya, wanna go to Russia Sushi...?" Shinra said, touching his shoulder, as he was pulled out of his thoughts, and right then previous feelings weren't as unbearable anymore, not that weren't there.

Looking up, he wondered what had just happened. Had he just nearly blanked out? "...That woman is gone, now... Did she leave? I can't remember... Why is anxiety tearing me up so badly like this...?"

"Huh?" he looked up at the man, remembering at least some of what had just happened, but still trying to calm down.

"I asked if you wanted to get some Sushi? I feel like we can talk easier around Simon-san than some of the other restaurant owners and workers in town." Shinra explained.

"Oh, sure." Izaya didn't really who this 'Saimon' was, but decided to just go along with it as if he did. After all, it didn't really matter much to him, (and quite frankly it was more comforting) as long as he was able to continue observing the humans and things around him, as well as... this doctor. There was something almost odder than odd to him about Shinra, but he just couldn't quite place what it was, and he would almost say it annoyed him in some way. Was it annoying to him just because he didn't know why it did...? No..., that surely wasn't it...

But..., if not..., what was it, then...?

"Here we are." Shinra said, as they approached a small corner building with a banner which said 'Russia Sushi'.

A large black guy was there, asking -telling anyone and everyone to come in for sushi, and vowing it wouldn't kill them. Momentarily studying the fairly intimidating expression on the guy's face without him even trying to make one, Izaya's immediately begged to differ with him. Most of the people around them seemed to be being ran off and greatly frightened by the man. He did have a towering presence, but was he really strong, or something?

Actually, maybe he didn't want to know...

"Kishitani, Izaya! Why no see such long time? You have sushi today, yes?" the man greeted them in a deep tuned voice, with a straight face and a slightly broken accent.

"Ah, Simon-san! Sure, we'll have some, But there's something I was wanting to talk to you about." Shinra explained.

"I see, I see," Simon nodded, in acknowledgement. "you not have to wait around like lost puppy. Come in, come in, or you freeze out in cold!"

"It's not that cold, Simon-san, but-" Shinra paused for a moment, as he gazed over to Izaya, who appeared to be lost in thought. "...Izaya? Are you feeling alright?"

Simon gazed over at him, with an unreadable, but probably intuitive, expression.

"Shinra? Sorry, I was just thinking about something for a second there. I'm fine. Let's just go on in..."

"...Did you... remember something?" Shinra wanted to know, studying him with slightly worried but odd expression of curiosity.

"...No. It's nothing at all~ Just... ignore me, will you~?" Izaya 'teased' reassuringly, trademark smirk and all. Shinra immediately wanted to punch Izaya for doing that to both of them, especially himself. He could tell it was hurting Izaya, more than anyone else to keep smiling like that, even though his 'mask' just needed a serious rest for once, and to prove that, Izaya's expression was even growing slightly shaky, not that the raven would even know how to submit into admitting that it was true... How the hell long had he even been that to himself, the doctor wondered to himself. It was practically psychological masochism!

"...Hum... If you say so, come on, then!" No, Shinra definitely wasn't convinced; that much was obvious in his expression, but the doctor apparently had decided he would deal with finding out and asking what was 'bothering' his friend later, unless the question just so happened to be answered by Izaya in their coming conversation.

"Yeah, yeah. I hear you..." Izaya sighed, rolling his eyes a bit before he threw on another small smirk, despite the many anxious, depressing, and annoying feelings lingering in his eyes, as he followed behind.

Entering the restaurant, however, he couldn't help but feel sick. The smell of the seafood, and meats, and far too many calories to count loomed in the air.

"Oh, Kadota-kun~, and...Mikado-kun...?" he heard Shinra say after a moment. Out of natural curiosity, he looked over to see the figures that the brunette was talking to.

"K-Kishitani-sensei?! And... Izaya-san is with you, too?"

"Is something special going on? You haven't been seen walking around together for ages, Kishitani... Not that it's my business or anything, but... it's been a while sense you've been seen in Ikebukuro, if you ask me..." a bigger boned man said next to him. He was wearing a teal collar jacket and a beanie hat , which was pulled down to his eyebrows where they were furrowed. He momentarily studied the raven's expression, obviously slightly suspicious of him.

"Of course, I-" Izaya begin to speak, a bit irritated, however, when he was cut off by Shinra beside him.

"U-um, well, you see, Kadota-kun, he's-uh...um... It's like this; I-Izaya has kind of lost at least the last ten years of his memory... Um... I..." Shinra seemed to looked away when their attention had turned away from, an almost sad expression on his face which Izaya glanced over at him to briefly notice it. A look of...guilt? Or was it frustration? He couldn't fully tell in the rush moments of time he had had to do so.

"E-eh...? Lost his memory?" a boy, probably not much older than your typical freshman, stood there with an baffled and nervous expression, seeming hesitant and uncertain of what to say after that. Odd curious and equally anxious crimson-brown eyes met the other boy's wavering curious grayish-blue ones.

"Hey! Shinra! Do you want the normal three-five-eight marinaded sand fish?" The manager inquired from up front.

"Yeah, sure! And... can I also get a bag to go of ootoro with that as well?" Shinra called back.

"Yeah."

"Ahem... Izaya..., so then... you have amnesia?" Kadota looked over at Izaya, not seeming to be surprised per se, but at the same time, he did hold a slight look of disbelief in his eyes. Being Izaya, of all people, there weren't very many guaranteed ways to just look him in the eye and tell if he was acting or not, but the difference was..., usually you could see several mixed and even contradictory, emotions in that guy's eyes. Because of that, you could never really fully tell what he was thinking. However, when he looked at him now.. he just knew.

Izaya shrugged and sighed, a bit irritated about suddenly being interrogated, like he actually even knew what was going on. "Look..., I really don't know, but that's what Shinra is saying, ne? And I for certain don't remember much of anything since about 1998..."

"I see..." Kadota sighed, still however a bit bewildered by it all, before turning back to said doctor.

"So, what are you planning to do, Kishitani-san...? Come to think of it, you two were pretty good friends..."

Shinra and Kadota continued talking among themselves, when Izaya turned his attention to and noticed the sudden nervous look in the younger boy's eyes as if he had wanted to say something.

"U-um-"

"...Are you... Mikado-kun, right? Or am I wrong?" Izaya questioned, meeting his eyes once more, before the younger one could've said anything. He was hoping he'd caught the right name moments ago when entering.

"Ah...? Oh-I-yeah, I am... I'm Ryuugamine Mikado..." the other scratched his cheek sheepishly in response, slightly averting his gaze. "I was wondering if..., maybe, you wanted to be friends...? I-"

"I'm...sorry, but I have to decline your offer...," Izaya spoke, suddenly startling him. "because, as it is... I don't really know who I am, and... you're liable to get seriously hurt if you try getting close to me as it is, you should know, and...I don't really want that on my personal record... I hope you can try to understand what I'm saying..." Izaya gazed away, not fully sure how to describe or handle what exactly he was even feeling right now, but was somehow disappointed when Mikado didn't say anything else, until-

"N-no, it's fine...!" the boy insisted, fidgeting a bit more, but not nearly as nervous as before. "Well, you see..., I do want to be able to become at least somewhat of a friend to the current Izaya, but... only if he really wants me to, so while maybe, as you are, you don't want to accept me as one, or get me involved in your troubles, or stuff like that..., just always remember, Izaya-san, I'll always try my best to be here if you need someone to talk to or just listen to you... Sorry if I end up not being that great at it, though..."

"Hah... You know... I may eventually take that into consideration..." After a momentary silence in which both Kadota and Shinra were looking at him, Izaya turned his head, to give a small but odd and unreadable smirk.

"...Arigatou."

~ End of Chapter


A/N: What do you think, guys? Likey? Dislikey? Let me know, ne~? ^-^

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