Disclaimer: I don't own the Mortal Instruments.

A/N.: This is a day later than I had originally planned - sorry for that, but uni was keeping me busy, and I'm actually glad I managed to finish this tonight. I wasn't really believing I would manage to do that. I have not yet have the time to edit it again, so I hope there aren't too many mistakes scattered across the chapter...I'll revise them later, I promise. For now, enjoy the longest chap so far.


295 Edge of sanity

.

While it had been strangely easy to get used to Magnus's presence, Alec had to admit that there were quite a few downsides to it. There was, for example, the lack of privacy. No matter how hard Magnus tried to give him his space, in the back of his mind there was always a little voice nagging him, telling him that he could never tell for sure whether the warlock was watching him or not. And, of course, the knowledge that Magnus could hear pretty much every word spoken, every sound made in his room. Needless to say, this constrained a teenage boy to a point where it got incredibly annoying and frustrating.

Even worse was the circumstance that his family seemed to begin to think that Alec was losing his mind.

He couldn't blame them.

There had been more than one occasion where one of his siblings had entered his room unheralded while he was talking to Magnus. He had grown used to speaking in a low voice to at least prevent them from hearing him speak when they were passing by his door, but it didn't help that they found him apparently muttering to himself, and, sometimes, trying to quickly hide a book he was holding in his hands. Jace had first chalked that one up to him reading something indecent – aka porn – and had teased him incessantly about it, but now it seemed that both his and Isabelle's default expression whenever they were talking to or about Alec was a deep frown. Their worry was nearly tangible, and regardless of how much Alex insisted there was nothing going on and everything was fine, he had a feeling this was only making things worse.

And then, of course, there was the matter of the mirror itself.

To be honest he had anticipated – and, for the first time, hoped – that his parents had forgotten about it. This was what usually happened when he asked them about something that they could not solve by merely pressing some dollar notes in his hand or advising Hodge to see to it. He had gotten so used to it that it didn't even really bother him anymore (mostly, at least), because as far as he could remember, it had pretty much always been like that. His parents were and had always been workaholics, and it was unlikely that would ever change. The siblings didn't get to see them too often; they travelled a lot, and spent way too many hours of the day in their respective offices. Alec knew they cared, though it might not have seemed like it, but especially in times of crisis, like now, they just had other things on their mind. They knew their kids were well looked-after by Hodge, they made sure to always be up-to-date if there were some major fallouts in school, and despite everything they tried to spend as much time with their children as possible. Yet, they would have been disposed to ignoring a request like the one Alec had made, especially since it had been pretty much petty and childish anyway and Alec had never raised the point again.

Because his luck seemed to have deserted him ever since they had moved to the city that never slept, however, it happened that when they were having dinner together about two weeks and a half after moving in Maryse looked at her oldest son and said, "By the way, Alexander, I have arranged for the bulk waste to be picked up tomorrow. Have Jace help you depositing the mirror outside."

A wave of cold dread washed over Alec, and the spoon he was holding slipped through his fingers. It clattered to the ground, the noise reverberating loudly through the room. "What?" he blurted, his voice taking a shortcut to the higher and hardly-ever used registers , and quickly dived under the table to retrieve his cutlery and regain control over his expression and vocal chords.

When he came up again about half a minute later, everyone was looking at him except for Max, whose nose was, as always, buried in one of his comic books.

"The mirror. You wanted to dispose of it, if I remember correctly," Maryse stated, completely unperturbed. Unlike his siblings, his parents had not yet noticed any change about his behaviour, and as it seemed Iz and Jace hadn't told them about their worries either.

"Oh. Oh, yeah, that," said Alec, doing his best to portray an adequately surprised but enlightened face while remaining nonchalant and trying to hide his inner panic. He wasn't faring too well, he feared, judging from the glance his siblings exchanged. He scratched his head. "Actually...I don't mind it that much anymore."

This statement earned him baffled looks from everyone. He quickly cast his eyes down at his plate and fidgeted uncomfortably. Oh yeah. Smooth.

"Dear Lord," Jace said, "Alec has begun to understand that you can actually put a mirror to good use? I think the world might have just stopped turning."

Alec rolled his eyes. "Oh, shut up," he said. "I'm not turning into a vain narcissist like you. It just...I don't know. It kind of belongs into the room. It fits with the rest of the furniture...I suppose."

Izzy's eyebrows rose higher and higher.

"Well," he amended, "I guess it is kind of useful, too."

For his parents, the answer seemed to be good enough. "Very well," his father said, shrugging, already having lost all interest in the matter. "Keep it, then, if you will."

Alec's shoulders sagged with relief.

Out of the corner of his eye, he could still see Isabelle watching him intently, as if staring at him could make her see right into his soul.

He took two stairs at a time when getting back upstairs later, hoping to escape her clutches, which was, of course, in vain. He should have figured. His sister caught him by his arm before he could enter his room and shut the door behind him to lock the rest of the family out. Her grip was surprisingly strong for a slender girl like her, but then again, Isabelle had never been a fragile person.

"Alec," she said, "I have to talk to you."

Trust her to not even ask whether he had time. This, too, was very much like his sister. Sighing inwardly, he nodded and gestured towards his room. "Come in."

She did as she was told, stepping into the room, kneading her hands. Now this was not like Isabelle. If he hadn't already known what to expect, this would have made it perfectly clear. Wonderful. Exactly what he needed right now.

Or, you know, not.

"Alec," she began slowly, "will you please just tell me what's going on?" He opened his mouth to speak, but she didn't give him a chance to reply. "I know you're probably just going to say it's nothing, like you always do, but we both know that's not true. You are not behaving like yourself, Alec, don't even try to deny it! You spend hours here in your room, and I know that's nothing unusual, but in the time since we got here you haven't touched a single book when you would usually read at least four or five in that time. You have these...these strange mood swings and you talk to yourself and – and I'm worried about you and I don't know what to do, because you just won't tell me what's wrong!"

He swallowed. "Izzy-"

"Don't 'Izzy' me, Alexander Lightwood, and don't you dare to lie to me!" she threatened.

"How could I when you're not even letting me finish my sentence?" he asked, and, before she could speak out again, went on, "Look, Iz, there's noth- well, I can't say there's nothing going on, to be honest," he corrected himself quickly upon seeing her glare, "but I can assure you that I am absolutely fine. There is nothing wrong with me, I swear. There's just...something going on and-"

"What is it?" she interrupted him.

Alec inhaled deeply. "I can't tell you."

The hurt look on her face made him feel as if someone had just punched him in the gut. "You can tell me anything, Alec."

"I know," he said quietly. "I know, Izzy, but maybe it's just not my story to tell." He bit his lip. "Would it reassure you if I told you I haven't been talking to myself?" he asked tentatively.

She blinked, and then narrowed her eyes. "Who have you been talking to, then?"

"It's not someone you know."

"Like...you've been calling someone?"

It was clear she didn't really believe that; Isabelle was a smart girl, and not likely to believe every lie you fed her, especially when it didn't really explain anything. This time, though, she seemed to be desperate to find any reason to explain her brother's rare behaviour with something at least faintly logical, so he decided to just go with it and smiled. "Yes, something like that." Alec could see that she was still struggling with herself, wondering whether she should just let it go or not, so he grabbed her arm and forced her to look at him. "Izzy, do you trust me?"

"Yes," she replied, without a moment of hesitation. "Of course I do."

"Good. Because you have to trust me on this, okay? I can't tell you anything else now, but I would if I could. If I ever can, I will. But for now, you just have to trust me."

She hesitated for another moment and then nodded. "Okay," she murmured. "Okay."

Alec exhaled. "Thanks, Iz."

She crooked a weak smile and walked towards the door. Before opening it, she turned around once more. "Just tell me one thing," she said. "Do you like this person?"

Alec didn't have to think about that one. "Yes," he answered honestly. He didn't care if Magnus could hear him or not; he surely could, even though Alec had not yet been able to detect a single movement or flash of colour in the mirror since they had entered the room. It was nothing but the truth. He had grown to like Magnus, irritating as he was, and there was no reason to keep it a secret.

Isabelle nodded again. "Is he worth it?"

He contemplated that for a moment, not even surprised by the fact that she automatically assumed that this was about a boy. "I don't know," he admitted at last. "But I hope so."

She smiled, then, and left.

The door clicked shut behind her, and as soon as the sound of her soft footsteps on the cold stones had died out, Magnus predictably appeared, leaning against the frame of the mirror in what Alec secretly liked to call his usual nonchalant I-am-superior-to-you-pose. "Nice save," he commented in a voice that made it impossible for Alec to discern whether he was serious or not. It was a problem he often faced when talking to Magnus; the warlock was almost impossible to figure out.

In the end, Alec determined that he was being sarcastic, so he decided to just raise his eyebrows and throw him a glance that hopefully said "I'm not in the mood for your bullshit" clearly enough.

"Maybe you should tell her."

Alec nearly laughed out loud. "Yeah, right," he snorted. "Because telling me I'm conversing with an invisible warlock in my mirror is going to convince her that I am not a total nutjob."

"I don't know." Magnus shrugged. "Theoretically, since she is your sister, she should have the same genetic qualifications that should enable her to be able to see me."

"But she doesn't see you," Alec pointed out. "And I know you talked about the Sight, but I still haven't seen any other magical or supernatural creatures apart from you."

Magnus huffed. "That's because you're not looking."

"Yes, I am."

"No, you're not." Magnus straightened and brushed a strand of hair out of his eyes that shone with annoyance. "I told you before, you mundanes only see what you want to see. You are no exception."

Alec snorted. "I didn't choose to see you."

"Which is why I am still amazed you do. I mean it, though. Go to the window and take a look outside. Really look."

Alec wasn't very convinced, but did as he was told. "And what exactly am I supposed to see?" he asked dryly.

Magnus closed his eyes and sighed. "There is a family of fairies playing in the bushes below the window," he said quietly. "I can hear them. They are making a lot of noise, flitting through the bushed and rustling the leaves, and laughing and singing. Just look."

Alec looked.

He didn't see anything.

He was just about to turn away when he thought he was a movement in the corner of his eye, nothing more but a flash of colour, much like it had been when he had gotten his first glimpse on Magnus, so he narrowed his eyes and stared down again. A few heartbeats later, he saw it again, and this time he could have sworn he heard the ghost of laughter, too. Come on, fairies, he thought, where are you? I want to see you.

He blinked, and when he opened his eyes again, they were there. At least a dozen of them were whizzing back and forth, small, winged creatures that were not much bigger than butterflies and could have been easily mistaken for those, leaving trails of splashing colours behind, their shrill laughter filling his ears to a point where it almost hurt. One of them, realising that Alec was watching them, flew up and banged against the window, making it clink. Alec flinched and took a step back, and the faerie, apparently delighted to have scared off her opponent, and nose-dived back into the bushes.

Alec stared some more. Behind him, Magnus was shifting in the mirror. "If you say 'I told you so' I will kill you," he warned.

Magnus was grinning at him when he turned around and pretended to zip his mouth shut.

"Seriously, though, how could I not see them before?"

The warlock shrugged. "It takes a while to get used to seeing through the glamour," he explained. "It will probably still cost you some effort, but it will only get easier from now on. Once you know what you are looking for, it's easy to tell whether something – or someone – is glamoured, too."

"This," Alec breathed, "is amazing. But I think I'd still rather not take the risk of trying to tell Iz."

"If we're lucky and you get me out soon there'll be no need for this anyway."

"Yeah, I wanted to talk to you about that," Alec said, slightly awkwardly. "I think we might have to consider the eventuality of me not being able to get you out with the method we've been using. We've been going at this for nearly three weeks now and we've looked through almost all of the books on the list. You've tried at least fifty or sixty different spells and none of them worked." He sighed. "I just don't think I can really help you with this anymore."

"We can always try the rest of the books."

"You know just as well as I do that this won't change anything."

Magnus narrowed his eyes at him. "Do you intend to leave me high and dry, then? Just ignore me and leave me in here to rot?"

"What?" Alec spluttered. "No. No! I just think we should try...a different approach."

Magnus just cocked an eyebrow questioningly, clearly not too enthusiastic about hear his idea.

Alec rubbed his temple and tried to find the right words to explain. "Maybe this is just not working because you're trying to break the spell from the inside. Maybe it has to be undone from the outside. So...I've been thinking, if there are other warlocks out there, like you said, why don't I go and try to find one who is willing to help us?"

Magnus snorted. His face was nearly hidden by the shadows slowly growing darker and larger as the sun began to set, but even so Alec could tell he did not look happy. "Good luck with that."

"Oh, come on. Surely you have some warlock friends who can get you out," Alec said.

Magus emitted a sound that was somewhere between a sharp laughter and a strangled gurgle. "Surely. That's why I am still here, because they were all so concerned and eager to find me when I vanished from the face of the earth so suddenly and unexpectedly." His voice was bitterer than Alec had ever heard it.

"Oh." Alec was at a loss of words. He hadn't thought about it in that way before. Now that Magnus had said it, he wondered why it had never occurred to him before. A man like him, who knew so many powerful people, should not have been abandoned for fifteen years. Why had none of his friends come to look for him? Why had they not searched him? For them it certainly would have been easy to see him in the mirror, and between them, they should have been able to find a way to rescue him. "I don't believe there is no one who cares about you," he said finally.

"Yeah," Magnus replied darkly. "Before, I wouldn't have thought that either."

A familiar, tight know was forming in Alec's stomach, like it often did when he was in Magnus's presence. He wondered how he managed to pull through all that, to survive all the pain and disappointment he had experienced so far. "I will find someone," he promised before he could even stop to think about what he was saying. "Tell me the name of your closest friends and I swear I will find them."

"How?" Magnus asked. "They're not in the phone book, you know. They could be anywhere in the world. Heck, they could even be dead for all I know."

"It's worth a try," Alec insisted. "Where can I find them, if they're still here?"

Magnus shook his head. "You'd have to find a Downworlder willing to give you that information, and for that, you'd probably have to dive into the New York club underground scene, clubs that both Mundanes and Downworlders use and even then they're not likely to tell you. This is dangerous, Alexander, and I won't let you-"

"Don't be ridiculous," Alec interrupted him. "I'm a big boy, I can take care of myself."

Magnus hesitated, but he was clearly contemplating it.

"If it eases your mind, I won't go alone. I'll take Jace and Izzy. Of course, they're more likely to get me into more trouble, but they are pretty good at kicking some ass."

Magnus's lips twitched upwards. "I'm inclined to believe that. Okay. If it still exists, try the Pandemonium. That should be the safest and most frequently used club. Ask for Tessa Gray or Ragnor Fell."

Alec nodded. "Hold on a second," he said, and exited the room. The sound of his siblings' voices drifted towards him from downstairs, so he quickly went down to join them. "Hey," he said once he'd reached them. "Do you have any plans for tonight?"

Jace blinked and tilted his head to the side in confusion. "Correct me if I'm mistaken but that almost sounds as if you are about to ask us out."

"No shit, Sherlock." Alec rolled his eyes. "As a matter of fact, I do."

Jace's eyebrows shot up and disappeared under his hairline.

"I've just thought...I haven't really been there for you these past days and...I wanted to make it up to you. So I thought I could be brave and handle another night roaming the clubs of New York City."

"Are you sure?" Jace asked disbelievingly.

"I wouldn't propose it if I weren't," Alec pointed out matter-of-factly. "I know you'd never let me talk myself out of that again once you're onto it. So yes, as much as it pains me to admit it, I do mean it. I will terribly regret it in the morning, but yes, I mean it."

"Awesome, man!" Jace exclaimed, grinning brightly, and clapped him on the shoulder. As always, he was for more willing to believe Alec's story than Izzy was – or maybe he just knew that if something serious was going on, Alec would come around and tell him eventually. He'd always been the one to give him more space, intuitively sensing when it was better to leave his older brother alone. "I'm calling Clary."

Alec managed to keep the contortion of his facial muscles to a minimum. "Alright," he allowed. "But tell her I won't be held responsible for her or Simon's actions."

"Who said Simon was coming?" Isabelle asked.

Alec gave her a pointed look, and he could have sworn that, for a moment, she almost looked as if she was at the verge of blushing, but she schooled her expression quickly. "Do I get to dress you up?"

"Hell, no!"

"What a shame," she lamented. "And here I thought your temporary state of beginning craziness would have some positive effects."

"Iz?"

"Yeah?"

"Shut up."

She just laughed and sashayed away to hog the bathroom.


A/N.: Apparently, half of my reviewers have hidden in a dark hole again...please come out and leave me a quick review if you are still alive :D

Also, I am thinking about putting my tumblr to a good use to upload a "cast" for this story - what do you think? Would you like to see that?

Dftba,

Dustland-Fairytales