Chapter 7 - Before Sunset

None of the adorable little mop tops turned to answer on the playground. Ga Eul around the playground obstacles to see if Dong-won was hiding. Yi Jeong followed, only a few paces behind. He grabbed every little boy who wore Park Dong-won's color, but none of the children were him.

"Oh god." Ga Eul was frantic, "What if we've lost him?"

"Ga Eul, he's small. He can't have gone far."

"What if someone kidnapped him?"

Yi Jeong grabbed her shoulders and peered at her face; Ga Eul's dilated pupils made her pallor even more pronounced. "Ga Eul, you try the restaurant we went to, and I'm going to try the toy stores in the area."

"Ok." Ga Eul grimaced and immediately dashed off in the direction of the restaurant.

Yi Jeong squeezed his eyes shut and tried to rework the problem. Whenever he hid as a child, he was hiding from something upsetting. Whether it was his mother crying or his father shouting, he knew that hiding could give some respite. His eyes frantically search the children's park.

From across the playground, he saw the problem. A giant kid, almost twice the size of everyone on the playground, was stalking around the jungle gum. He watched the little giant terrorize a group of girls that were sitting on their rubber tire bridge.

His phone rang.

"Yi Jeong! He's not here at the restaurant." Ga Eul's voice was strangled with panic.

"I'm coming towards you Ga Eul, I don't think he's at the playground anymore." He slide the phone back into his pocket and took off into the Eunpyung streets. Then he remembered something. Before going to the restaurant, Ga Eul had locked up their rental bikes near a petting zoo. She had promised to take Dong-won to the petting zoo right after they finished eating.

Ga Eul felt ice in the pit of her stomach. Dong-won trusted her. Dong-won's parents trusted her. If she wasn't too busy mooning over Yi Jeong, this would have never happened. Her inner voices began to rage, listing the things that had gone wrong because she was too distracted by him to pay attention to her responsibilities. She tapped her foot frantically and paced outside the restaurant. Worst case scenarios begin to flash before her eyes. Dong-won was crushed beneath a speeding automobile. Dong-won had fallen into a deep ravine, which didn't even exist in the neighborhood. Ga Eul's imagination was taking over. She sat down at the curb but couldn't stop her knees from shaking. Maybe Dong-won had been kidnapped by a shady men. Yi Jeong would have to rescue him, thereby putting himself in danger. Now her hand would be have fate of two people. She would be the Lady MacBeth of babysitters. Ga Eul groaned.

"Seonsaeng-nim!" Can you hallucinate a sound, Ga Eul grimaced. When she turned towards the source of the noise, her chest collapsed. Yi Jeong held Dong-won's hand; the two of them made unbelievably handsome father-son pair. Ga Eul surprised herself with the tears in her eyes.

"Oh my gosh! Thank god you're safe!" She ran over to Dong-won and examined the little boy thoroughly, accounting for all limbs and unscathed skin. Dong-won looked fine. He grinned up at Yi Jeong.

"Yi-Jeong sunbae knew exactly where I was!"

"Dong-won! Why did you run away?" She tried to scold him.

Dong-won dropped his gaze to the ground. "Seonsaeng-nim, I was being a coward. This big kid started chasing me, and I ran away."

"Oh Dong-won. Don't run away from your problems." She chided him before wrapping him a tight squeeze, relief and adrenaline coursing through her.

When she let go of Dong-won, her heart was still beating wildly as she looked at Yi Jeong. He smiled lopsidedly at her.

"Thank you. Thank you. Thank you." She almost sobbed in relief as she hugged him.

At the moment of contact, Yi Jeong could only react-the brush of her skin broke his resolve and overwhelmed his contained self-his hands sought the back of her neck and brought her closer, in a heartbeat, his mouth was upon her. He felt her stiffen in surprise. Kissing Ga Eul finally, after so many years and missed chances, was amazingly enough, exactly as he imagined. Her mouth tasted sweet from the jajangmyeon sauce, he felt the charge between them, the electric spark that flared as he felt her mouth move in response. The tension coiling within him released and he wrapped his arms around her slender back, securely, without options. The world dissolved away, leaving only the honied softness of her mouth, he had to slow down to savored every second. His hands buried themselves deep into her hair; he held her face, finding angles that pleased her and drawing her closer with every inhale.

Suddenly, there was air between the two of them. Ga Eul shoved him and he was unsurprised.

He felt the sting the slap before he saw it. Ga Eul's eyes were bright and her breath hitched unevenly.

"No!" She seethed. "This can't happen! Not now, not ever."

"Ga Eul. You still have feelings for me." He countered. "You can't deny it." Ga Eul was still shooting daggers from her eyes. "I know you."

Ga Eul grabbed Dong-won's hand and threw him a withering glance. "You don't know me Yi Jeong. You've been gone for four years. I'm not yours to have. Not anymore."

Yi Jeong felt all his joints lock for a moment, shell-shocked. She said that he didn't know her? How was that possible? She was the person that knew him the best. Why wouldn't it be a two-way street? His gaze landed on a wall that had an enormous scrawl that said, "Love Conquers All." He kicked the offending graffiti.

"Fuck!"

He lingered on the street only for a few more minutes before taking off, only the sound of his rubber soles slapping on the pavement made any sense. He had to find Ga Eul. Make things right again.

When he finally reached the library, Ga Eul was waving to Dong-won parents, who were departing with their little trouble maker. He walked behind her and stuffed his hands into his jacket. He didn't know what to say.

"I was wondering how long it would take you." She spoke without facing him.

"Ga Eul. I'm sorry. I was wrong. I just thought-" He cleared his throat.

"No. Yi Jeong, that wasn't it." Ga Eul finally turned around and tucked her hair behind her ears. "I don't think that I've been clear." Her syllables were crystal, her eyes steady. "I can't be responsible for you. I'm with Anders, and maybe if I explain what happened in Sweden, you'll understand." She met his eyes and he saw her face, stiff with anger. He nodded mutely.

"Yi Jeong-shi, I did wait for you." Surprised washed over Yi Jeong's face and his opened his troublesome mouth to comment. "No, please. Let me tell my story first." Ga Eul held her palm up like a barricade.

They walked over to the stone bench. Yi Jeong noticed that the afternoon sun was finally setting, outlining the leaves and branches with a dull gold. He glanced back at Ga Eul, whose face had frozen into a mask, and who was going to slice any hope left for them and serve it to him, cold upon a platter.

"Yi Jeong. I waited for three years because some part of me was so desperately in love with you. But, I don't think I ever knew you well enough to love the real you. You were always pushing me away and I loved whatever spare parts you were willing to give." She fidgeted with her phone.

"So last year, when I got that grant to study in Sweden, I jumped at the chance." She smiled wryly at him. "I don't know what I expected."

"Woo Bin gave me the address to your studio." Her gaze was distant now, seemingly focused on the same setting sun as Yi Jeong was, but she couldn't see how the golden light rippled and cast her face in shadows and light. Yi Jeong waited for the second boot to drop.

"I saw you through the window and you were so deep into your work." She chuckled and turned to ponder him. "I still remember the first time I saw you working, four years ago, here-you looked like nothing else existed around you, until you noticed me and then you said that all women fall in love with you after they watch you work." She crooked the side of her mouth. "I guess you were right."

"And then I saw-"

"Sophia." Yi Jeong's throat tightened. Dread filled his chest and he felt the solid weight of his heart begin to drop.

"That was her name." She looked at Yi Jeong who couldn't face her. "She was really beautiful."

"We studied together." He closed his eyes. He knew what was coming now.

"She came in and kissed you. And I remember thinking to myself 'pabo, what is it your business that Yi Jeong is with someone.'" Ga Eul was calm now. "And then you started to work. You started making this vase together and it was beautiful. You really understood each other. She got you. And you looked happy." Ga Eul swallowed and stood up from the bench. "That's all I've ever wanted for you Yi Jeong-shi, for you to find someone to make you happy."

She took a step forward from the bench but felt Yi Jeong's hand around her wrist.

"Ga Eul, wait. Sophia wasn't serious. We were just a little more than friends."

"Isn't that what we are?" Ga Eul shot back.

"No, Ga Eul. I came back, to make amends, to see if I had a chance with you again."

"Yi Jeong-shi. I've moved on." She turned slowly to see his eyes, red with regret, and his mouth twisted, ugly like a gargoyle. He looked desperate. She smiled sadly. "We have terrible timing."

"Just tell me why you love Anders more than you loved me." Yi Jeong managed to croak out.

"I don't think love is quantifiable, sunbae." She wanted more than anything to stop this torture. She didn't want to be the one stabbing a knife into his heart. But she had been able to let go of him once, and Yi Jeong needed this as much as she did. "Araso." She nodded. "I will tell you why."

"After I left your studio, I walked along the marina. You know how much I love sailboats."

Yi Jeong thought to himself that he actually didn't know that Ga Eul loved boats.

"I saw this man, just working away on a boat. He was cleaning the deck and he was so precise about everything. You know, getting everything ship shaped. I just got lost watching him make everything right. He saw me and called out 'Annyong hasaeyo.' Anders was the only person that I knew in Sweden that could speak Korean. We started talking about his boat." Ga Eul softened with the memory.

"Anders is so careful about everything. But he's the most careful with people." Ga Eul paused to looked at Yi Jeong's pained expression. "He was the right person at the right time, sunbae. He let me cry on his shoulder, he fed me food that was delicious, and he took me sailing." Ga Eul felt herself gathering steam. "The first time I was on the sea in that boat, I really understood what it was like to be part of that boat, to feel part of the water. He taught that two people can rely on each other, as a team. He was the skipper and I was first mate."

Ga Eul peeled his hand off her wrist, one finger at a time. "So you see, sunbae. Anders saved me when I was at my most miserable. It's so simple with him. He loves me, gives me hope, and wants us. How can I not love someone like that?"

Yi Jeong dropped his head.

"Sunbae, I won't be able to see you for a while."

He nodded.

"Good bye, Yi Jeong."

By the time Ga Eul had walked out of sight, the stars had dropped down from their perch and landed on their velvet resting places in the night sky. He thought the sun must love watching his misery; he lost both the women he loved, one at sunrise and one at sunset.


A/N: Thanks for reading. Please review! Here is a preview of Chapter 8

Chapter 8 - Bridezilla

Yi Jeong pounded the enormous pile of clay into submission. These days, nothing felt better than physical exercise. He could lose himself in the work, finding new ways to push himself. The more he imbued the physicality into his work, the more alive he felt. It was certainly different at night when he would lie alone, unable to sleep, replaying Ga Eul's words over and over again.

Maybe it was true that he didn't know her anymore. He was operating on old information. And maybe there was something to this Anders person that allowed Ga Eul to feel safe the way she never did with him. He made her insane, he could hear it between her carefully chosen words. When they came together, it was bright and fiery; but something that burned like supernova couldn't, wouldn't sustain warmth for humans. His laugh sounded acrid. He was so good with his hands when it came to art-when it came to clay. When it came to Ga Eul; his hands, his mouth, his body wanted nothing more than to possess her the way it did the piece of clay in his hand. He wanted selfishly wanted her like nothing else, the way he imagined her, the way he felt she was promised. But in light of the last few weeks, Yi Jeong found Ga Eul brittle, unyielding, and unwilling to bend to his will. She was a bad piece of clay. Maybe she was full of air and it was better now that everything was in shards so that he could start over again.

He slammed down the ball of clay and watched it flatten against the table. It was still the same clay, no matter how many different forms it took. Whether it was fired to a thousand degrees and covered in semi precious stone, it was still dirt, earth, matter. He thought about himself. Wasn't he the same-just a piece of dirt, prettied up with So family bloodlines and artistic talent? He wasn't that different from commoners, and wasn't the saying, common as dirt?

"So Yi Jeong!" Geum Jan Di banged on the door from the outside.