I apologize for the long delay between chapters, but a lot was going on in my life. I have since then had a great deal of time to rest and write, so here it is the seventh chapter of Inner Child! Please enjoy!
I would like to add that, as always, this chapter was written to the most wonderous music by the fantabulous band MUCC, listen to them.
Disclaimer: Bleach be not mine.
All the Ichi's had ended up on the roof of Sport's building, with Sport and Otaku standing opposite one another, like two gunslingers, across a helipad.
Why was there a helipad?
Shiro and Ichigo still didn't know what Showdown 45 was, but they were both pretty sure it was going to be epic because that's what the others kept telling them.
Or was it what he was telling himself?
Maybe it should be themselves, since FemIchi was there? That was still weird.
"Time to do it, bitch." Sport said.
"We'll know who the real bitch is by the end of this, bitch." Otaku said.
"Okay now that we're done with the 'smack talk'" FemIchi said, she was playing referee, "Let's get down to the challenge, and remember keep it- oh never mind." The air grew still and quiet, somewhere Shiro thought he heard that music from old westerns. He stared in anticipation of the blood loss and carnage that was about to occur. Surely this Showdown 45 would be something to put in the history books!
Did stuff that went on in your head go in the history books?
Whatever, it didn't matter because here they were about to have a challenge of epic proportions that would push competitors to their limits, and boggle the minds of mere mortals. This was where a battle so epic a helipad had to mysteriously appear was going to take place. Shiro was amazed they weren't in a circle of fire during a thunderstorm, it was just going to be that epic. Even the fatty Otaku, and the slob Sport looked slightly more impressive in the light of this epic challenge they were going to undertake.
No one moved, everything was silent as FemIchi flipped the coin, and Sport called it. "Heads."
"Tails," She said, "Looks like Otaku will be going first."
"Go OTAKU!" Emo said throwing his foam finger, with a flag now attached to the end, into the air and waving it around. He looked like he was about to pee himself from excitement, Shiro wondered if he already had, you couldn't see anything with all that black and the pink buttons were really distracting.
"Begin!" FemIchi shouted.
"Can't touch this!" Otaku shouted and started doing the MC Hammer dance. Shiro thought this must be meant to psyche Sport out before the real fight, make it seem like he was up against a dancing fool.
"Yeah, well you're about to see the Thriller of your life!" Sport cried pointing dramatically at Otaku- who had thankfully stopped dancing- and started preforming Michael Jackson's Thriller. Shiro could only stare in awe of the complete and totally epic stupidity of it all. This must just be a prequel to the real challenge.
"Uh-oh, Sport's doing pretty good." FemIchi said.
"What are you talking about!" Ichigo shouted, "They're dancing, badly."
"This is Showdown 45 what did you think it would be?" She asked.
"I was kind of hoping for a rap battle." Ichigo admitted, "That would have been slightly more funny. This is just sad." They all watched the two in their epic dance off, that took them through the rivers and oceans, up mountains and to the heavens. Finally things had come to a close and the winner was to be decided with one final move.
"Here we go bitch." Sport said, out of breath.
"Says the guy who likes to watch other guys beating each other." Otaku said, not the least bit tired.
"OOOH SNAP!" Emo shouted.
Then Otaku did it, it, the forbidden move. Even Shiro, who thought this whole thing was completely stupid and pointless. Why didn't they just gang up on Sport, and take his tv? Of course on top of that thought Shiro was in a bit of an identity crisis so he wasn't all that concerned with voicing his opinions.
"OOOOOH!" Everyone shouted.
"Looks like Otaku is the winner!" FemIchi said, she handed Otaku a shiny trophy that had seemingly materialized out of thin air, and Emo went crazy screaming and eventually passing out. FemIchi gave Otaku a kiss.
"EEEEEWW!" Everyone shouted. Ichigo particularly gagged.
"Well at least you love yourself." Shiro said.
"I don't." Emo had to add.
"Shut-up." Shiro snapped, "Okay listen you fatty, are you gonna give us the stupid tv or are we gonna have to take it?" Shiro shouted at Sport.
"You can have the stupid tv, just go away." Sport looked on the verge of tears. Shiro couldn't believe that something that had been built up to with so much suspense was that lame. He had at least expected some better moves, and could only blame laziness on the part of the designer of such a lame challenge as he looked beyond the fourth wall.
Now he was having a bit of an existential crisis.
Oh well, what did it matter they had a tv to deliver and a crazed child to finally calm. Shiro and the others unplugged the tv with great satisfaction and started off to find Lil'Ichi.
They walked for miles, in search of something that would indicate Lil'Ichi's whereabouts. Finally there it was, a really huge chasm of destruction like five feet from Sport's place, how had they not noticed that? The Ichigos followed the destruction until they came upon an ominous castle, they were certain that Lil'Ichi must be in there. "Are you all ready?" Ichigo asked taking a deep breath.
"Let's get this over with before it gets any more ridiculous." Shiro sighed. They climbed the step up to the front gate of the castle, where two rock'em sock'em robots awaited them.
"You must defeat us before you can pass." They intoned.
"Fight!" Mortal Kombat music began to play as FemIchi and FemZan took on the red robot while Shiro beat the blue one with Emo.
"The pain in my face is the pain of my soul!" He shouted with each swing, Shiro didn't think it was a very noble thing for his sword to say. Ichigo was too busy holding the tv to facepalm at the whole event. They defeated the stupid robots and made their way into the grand hall of the castle. The whole thing lit up and they were greeted by two long lines of ButlerIchi's and MaidIchi's, it was really weird.
"Welcome home Master." They all chimed.
"Thank you my loyal servants." Shiro heard someone say spookily behind him. He turned to see Emo with a dark- well darker- look on his face.
"What's going on here you twit?" Shiro accused.
"MUWAHAHAHAHA!" Emo laughed throwing his arms out dramatically, it was a pretty decent laugh all things considered, "Do you fools really believe that I could be controlled by the likes of that little brat?" A cage dropped from the ceiling holding Lil'Ichi
"Shiro, Big Me help!" He cried looking really pitiful, which pissed Shiro off.
"Let him go!" Ichigo shouted.
"Or what?" Emo produced Zangetsu, "You bastards have been pushing me around long enough, none of you understand me!" He screamed. "So all of you are going to die, until finally I can die." He sighed. "It will be so beautiful."
"What are you talking about?" FemIchi said, "If you want to die so badly just kill yourself!"
"You don't think I've already tried that you brainless slut!" He shouted, there were gasps, and FemIchi's face went red with rage. "I can't die until all of me is dead."
"I don't get it." Ichigo and Shiro admitted.
"Morons, it's a basic concept of people with multiple entities living inside them," Otaku sighed, "If you die they die, and of course since Emo wants to die, well that's it for us."
"Like hell it is!" Ichigo shouted.
"You'll never escape my servants!" Emo said. The servants attacked right on cue, driving the group to a corner. "Just capture them, I want the pleasure of my own deaths." He walked up the stairs Lil'Ichi's cage went back up as well.
"Shiro, Big Me!" He screamed, "Help!"
How did I not see this coming? Shiro thought.
Now that was a twist! Didn't see that comin' either did ya'? Muwahaha! How will Shiro and the others make it out of this predicament? Does Emo realize that if he has to kill every incarnation of Ichigo that includes his servants? What will happen to the tv? When will the next chapter be out?
All mysteries that will be answered with time.
I hope you enjoyed it!
