Loving can heal

Loving can mend your soul

And it's the only thing that I know (know)

I swear it will get easier

Remember that with every piece of ya

And it's the only thing we take with us when we die

Ed Sheeran 'Photograph'

Disclaimer: I don't own anything.

I know I said there would only be an epilogue but I decided a proper and complex ending is much needed thus the last chapter is actually here! Thanks for all the reviews and likings, generally you people rock! I'm so happy that so many years ago, I had found this site. It is like having friend who you don't know but are out there! On with the story.


Chapter 7 – Loving can heal

Jyn stormed on the ship deck throwing her things furiously into the corner. Bodhi was looking at her at the corner of his eyes and he could tell that something was up. He didn't have the courage to ask her, because to be frank he didn't know if he was her friend. To be honest Bodhi was wondering if Jyn knew she had friends and people who carried about her. He liked her since the beginning of their journey together, since Edu he knew she was fearless and dedicated and he liked her even more. Now he could tell that something happened with her and Cassian. He knew that the moment he saw the two talking in a hangar. After throwing her gear unceremoniously on the floor Jyn ventured to the co-pilot seat and slumped in it.

Bodhi joined her minutes later after checking the supplies and started the take-off procedure.

"Does something happen?" He mustered the courage and finally asked her. He could tell that Jyn would never say what is wrong with her but he just needed to try.

"What?" She asked looking questionably at Bodhi but seeing his questioning look she just added. "Nothing."

"Did Cassian do something to you?" Bodhi asked not really believing that Cassian was capable of doing something to her without her permission and still be able to walk but he just needed to be sure. "I can talk with him." He proposed not really sure if he would have the courage if she agreed.

"What?" She asked not understanding and then when the implication of Bodhi's question set in she corrected hastily. "No Bodhi is not like that."

"Then what is it?" He asked again poking and prodding on dangerous territory but he just wanted to help.

"It's me, Bodhi." She answered sadly not looking at him. "It is not Cassian's fault. It's mine I'm just …" But she didn't finish she just trailed off looking away.

"You are?" Bodhi tried to specify.

"Never mind there is no time for this," She huffed at him her business-like tone back. "Let's go."

"Jyn you know you can talk to me." Bodhi said in a soft voice but Jyn looked angry at him.

"That's the thing Bodhi I'm not accustomed to talking and sharing." She answered angrily. "And if you don't stop talking I will go alone." She threatened.

"Oh yeah?" Bodhi questioned her. "Who would fly then?"

"Not fair, it isn't my fault that there was no time to teach me how to operate that thing." She answered bitterly. She had spoken with Cassian about flying lesson but there was always no time or they had better things to do than flying. Memoires of their past week came crashing down on her making her feel almost physical pain.

"Are you complaining on the company or would you rather had different one?" Bodhi tried to joke but it didn't sound entirely jokingly and didn't help Jyn.

"If you don't stop I will walk to Presbalin." She growled at him setting her jaw and looking angrily at him.

"Looking forward to seeing that." Bodhi muttered under his nose hoping Jyn wouldn't switch into killing mode because he was dangerously crossing the line. "Ground control this is Scout four requesting take off…" He spoke to the communicator. Better be off with this mission.

Jyn only sent him a dark look and crossed her arms. She promised to herself that she would learn to fly a ship as the first thing she would do when she got back…if she got back she corrected herself. Looking through the illuminator and watching Yavin 4 becoming smaller and smaller she could feel that with growing distance some dull and throbbing pain evolved in her chest. She didn't like this feeling, it was even more depressing and terrifying than … the things she felt for Cassian. If she didn't know better she would say that she missed him already. It was going to be a long fly. And she didn't know that Bodhi had this much wit and banter in him. She liked him even more.

Cassian didn't have much time to ponder about his current feelings and emotions. An hour after Jyn's takeoff all the approaching alarms went off in the base. The Rebels knew it was mere days that the Empire would gather forces and strike at their base so they had been prepared but not as much as they wanted to be. High Command didn't take into consideration evacuation under attack and when the alarms went off panic erupted. There were contingency plans prepared, the base was mostly packed to move but chaos had never helped in time of crisis. And Cassian as an intelligence officer was forced to do logistic and on spot decisions almost running form one point of the base to the other. K2 was frantically packing their things and preparing Cassian's U wing for evacuation.

In the back of his mind Cassian was scared that Jyn was captured by incoming Empire fleet. He would never know until they were moved. He had partial information about the planet they were moving on it was one of the option that the first scout mission provided, Cassian only remember one sentence which was written in the report: Severe weather condition. He was absent-mindedly wondering if it would be one of the scorching hot sandy planets like Tatooine and Jedha but he couldn't remember much more from the briefing. People were coming and going all running as the death was chasing them, orders were barked, people were shouting commands, ships were landing and taking off. It might look like a chaotic evacuation but actually thanks to officers like Cassian it was more planed that looked like. He was prolonging his leaving hoping that Jyn's ship would send any massage. He was praying to all the forces in the galaxy that they heard the alarm and stayed out of the fight.

"Cassian, we need to go." Came a stressed mechanical voice through his communicator.

"K2 stay in the ship keep it running I can't leave now." Cassian almost yell to the communicator the noise in the commanding center effectively blocking half of K2 words.

"Cassian I have died once recently I don't want to do it again." K2 was complaining.

"This time is more like taking hostage K." Cassian corrected him trying to joke but falling. It wasn't funny when there was an empire fleet above their heads and they yet had to escape this planet.

"You are not helping captain." K2 answered.

"Major K, you have been out for some time." Cassian corrected his mechanical friend again almost smiling in the communicator when he remembered the day when Jyn and he were given the promotion. He had missed her badly. He had to have her in his life even as a friend that one was certain.

"Congratulation and hurry up, please." Came a huffed answer and K switched off the connection.

"There is nothing you can do here Andor any more I think you should go." General Draven said to Cassian looking strictly at his officer. Cassian was the last who stayed form the intelligence officer and as much as Draven was still not happy with Cassian's orders omission lately he didn't want to lose one of his best spies.

"I can stay I will check that all units outside the base got the message." Cassian volunteered for that third time during the evacuation and it must have been surprised even for Draven.

"Major Andor we checked it twice, the only thing we can do now is waiting for them to find the new location." Draven said and looked expectantly at Cassian.

"Understood, sir." Cassian finally gave up and saluted to the general ready to leave.

"Off you go and be prepared to fight your way above, you were here too long." Draven warned him.

"I'm accustomed to fighting sir." Cassian added "It is escaping that bothers me."

"Evacuating major Andor," Corrected Draven in a stern voice. No rebel high command officer liked to be accused of escaping. "It is a difference." Draven pressed.

"Yes, sir." Said Cassian and was wondering what was wrong with him lately he knew perfectly that they need to escape Yavin 4 with all the empire knowing its location but he just couldn't stop thinking about this planet as his home. He spent here his much of his adult life and it was difficult to leave his home.

Cassian ran to his U wing at top speed and he could tell he was indeed to long in the base. There weren't any ships on the landing platform only his U wing its engines running and making low rumbling sounds. He jumped into the ship.

"K punch it." He yelled the moment his feet stepped into the ship.

"I think you are late." K had a very accusing tone when he wanted Cassian noticed.

"You are correct and now we can go." Cassian scowled at the droid.

"What took you so long?" Questioned K2 pushing and pulling things on the console making the ship rise from the ground.

"Not now K." Cassian barked at him sitting in the pilot chair taking the control.

It was chaos around Yavin 4 there were debris of ships floating in the air. Small and large rebels ships were coming and going in all direction fighting the imperial units. Empire star destroyers, at least four Cassian could tell, were looming around smaller ships spitting fire to alliance units. Rebel fleet was fighting a way for the last transports leaving Yavin 4. Suddenly the communicator inside the U wing sprung to life.

"To all alliances units retire coordinates of the rendezvous points were transmitted to your computers now. To all alliances units retreat coordinates of the rendezvous points were transmitted to your computers now." The communicate went on repeat and U wing computer beeped to confirm downloading the coordinates.

"Let's go K." Cassian said pulling the hyperspace lever.

Jyn was still sitting in the copilot seat thinking about all that happened and trying very hard not to sulk. She was stupid and reckless and generally an idiot she decided after much consideration. She didn't even give him a chance to explain. Maybe he lied to her, he compilated things but at least it was something good. She couldn't remember when was the last time something actually good happened in her life. And now her reckless and immature behavior had made her run up the hills because she couldn't face his feelings. Now sitting in a dark cold hyperspace she could see certainly that she had feelings for him. Why am I running away from something that could be good it was the only question that stayed in her mind. She was deep in her dark thoughts scalding herself, she didn't see a blinking incoming massage. Bodhi who escaped her brooding and dark company to the main deck only just returned to the pilot seat.

"Did we forget about something?" He asked her looking at the blinking console.

"What are you taking about?" Jyn asked only then surfacing from her dark thoughts.

"There is a massage." Bodhi pointed at the flashing light on the console and Jyn was wondering how long it was blinking before her unseeing eyes. Thoughts about a certain major had a very bad influence on her recently. Bodhi pushed some button.

"To all the alliances units outside the base. The base had been compromise it's been evacuating please confirm your statute and proceed to the nearest rendezvous points in the area." The message went on repeat but Jyn only heard it once. She was pretty sure she had a panic attack her lungs couldn't draw any breath and her heart just stopped.

"What?" Bodhi exclaimed.

"Cassian." Whispered Jyn at the same time looking transfixed at the console as if she could see more through the message. As if she was trying to see if he was all right.

"His all right Jyn I'm sure." Bodhi reassured her and beginning the standard procedure of finding the nears rebel outpost and checking for direction.

"We need to come back." Jyn said louder than she expected standing form the co-pilot seat. "What are you waiting for we need to come back." She could hear the panic in her voice but she didn't care. That moment she painfully regretted not staying on Yavin 4, not be able to tell him that she was wrong and that she was fighting a losing battel. That she also was lying to him asking for something that could not happened because somewhere in the middle of the chaos of past days she had also fallen, and she had fallen hard. She could at least tell him the truth that she was too afraid to admit she was in love with him so she chose to live.

"Now we can't." Bodhi said firmly looking at her as she had lost her mind.

"Bodhi I need to go back." She pleaded him but he just shook his head no.

"No," He started hard on her trying to reason with her. "You need to focus and follow orders. I don't know what happened between you two back there but I'm pretty sure Cassian wouldn't want you to jump in the middle of the imperial fleet." He said strapping himself to a chair and looking at the new coordinates that just were deliver by the computer. "You are here and we need to get new codes and new location."

"If something happened to him." She whispered desperately looking at her friend. She didn't know when she stated referred Bodhi as her friend but she also couldn't tell when she started refereeing certain captain as her…more that friend.

"Have hope Jyn." Bodhi said and tried to smile at her. "You have taught me that to always have hope."

"Whoever called this planet Hoth had a sick sense of humor." Cassian couldn't agree more with K2 statement. He was standing next to his ship on a thick layer of snow looking at vast amount of snow and white nothingness.

"No kidding K I may not have enough clothes to put on to survive here." Cassian said to his friend pulling the covers of his jacked closer to his body. It was freezing cold and it was in the middle of the day on this planet. He couldn't image how it was at nights and he promised to himself that he didn't want to find out.

They were both standing outside the U wing looking as others alliances units landed nearby. The huge machines had started working on digging tunnels and caves underground the all existing snow but judging by the look of the work it would take them some time. Alliances forces would spend that night in their ships and working overnight shifts to finish digging the new base up. The general idea was great. To dig the underground and undetected base hidden from sensors and scans form the orbit but it still was the problem of ice and cold. Cassian grew up on Fest a hot and humid planet full of green hills and lakes. He hated cold he knew that right now. Severe weather condition happened to be snow, ice, and cold and blinding sun reflections from all existing snow.

"I hate this place already." He said more to himself than to anyone else.

Cassian was sitting in his U wing trying very hard not to think about Jyn's whereabouts. He wished she was here, she could still be mad at him but he would at least know she was safe. When the sun was coming down on this white planet Cassian was staring down at the scattered rebel base trying to spent a very cold night on the ships. He was sitting and waiting for…he didn't know what he was waiting for exactly but the answer had beautiful, green eyes and a fierce character. He must have fallen asleep because the next thing he registered was K2 waking him in the middle of a pitch dark cockpit, the only light coming from the droid's eyes and a flashing light of a landing vessel. Cassian launched forward to see if it was the ship he was waiting for but it was too dark to see anything.

"Cassian?" The communicator inside the cockpit sprung to life.

"Bodhi, is that you?" Cassian couldn't believe he would be so happy hearing his friends voice. It meant that Jyn was also on the ship. That she was safe and here. Cassian decided to his distaste that he began to be soft, too soft for his liking but maybe love would do something like that to you. He didn't know, he had never been in love before that he was sure, because he had never behaved like ever before.

"Yes, we are here. I just want to tell you that." Bodhi answered.

"Is Jyn…" Cassian couldn't finish this sentence because he didn't know what he wanted to ask. "Avoiding talking to everyone." Answered Bodhi in a strange tone or maybe it was the connection.

"At least she is there," Cassian said relieved and added "Seal the door it freezing cold here."

"Dully noted. Rook out." The connection broken Cassian fell back on his pilot seat and plastered a stupid smile on his face. Cassian felt alarmed. She was here, she was all right and he couldn't do anything due to really low temperature and total darkness he was stuck in his ship. And to be honest what he supposed to do. He could go there demanding talking but it didn't work before, he could lie to her again swear anything she wanted to but it would not work either. For the first time in his life Cassian Andor was carrying about someone and he was really at lose what to do with all that. Sitting in a dark cockpit he played different scenarios of their meeting and neither of them was good enough. He didn't know what would happen when they finally met. To be honest he never imagines himself being in love, to be involved with someone, to care about someone and to want something more in his life. His got the alliance as the family and purpose in his life for so long. He just didn't think about it, didn't consider himself as a man who could fall for a girl so hard that he could question all his decisions and lifestyle. And yet some small, fierce, green eyed girl rocked his arranged world to the core and he truly didn't know what was up those days. Maybe it was that famous life changing experience they survived together but to be honest Cassian knew something was up between them ever since he laid an eye on her in the Commanding office that day she was brought from Wobani. And only from that time it spiraled forward ending in a massive pile of unwanted feelings. He stopped himself and wondered if that feelings were indeed unwanted. Jyn had change him, made him consider things he had never questioned. Too tired to think any more and supporting a massive headache from overthinking Cassian finally slumped back to sleep.

Cassian woke up at the buzzing sound of the communicator. He had problems with moving his body since he had fallen asleep in the pilot seat and now every bone in his body reminded him that it was a bad idea.

"Andor." He spoke into the communicator his voice hoarse from sleep.

"Major Andor you have permission to land on docking bay 5541 east wing." Came an answer of some ground operating control officer. Cassian was half hoping it would be a different message but still it was good news. At least they would be inside.

"Thank you," He switched the communicator off and continued. "K let's bring her inside maybe we didn't freeze by night."

Cassian U wing touched the ground on said landing pad and they finally could take off the ship. Cassian pulled his thickest jacked up to his neck but he still wasn't prepared for the cold in the hangar bay.

"I hate this planet." He muttered jumping of his ship.

"You and me both." Came a soft answer and Cassian couldn't believe that he didn't see her coming to his ship. He spun around only to see Jyn wrapped in thick layers of clothes smiling shyly at him

"Jyn." He breathed her name too astonished and surprised to say more.

"We need to talk Cassian." She repeated his own words from their last conversation and the hidden meaning hung between them. After a long pause when they only stared into each other eyes as having some unspoken conversation the tension between them rising every second. Then there was a clatter of servomotors and a looming presence of K2.

"We can go back on the ship," Cassian offered and looked at his droid. "K see if they assigned any rooms."

K2 looked from Cassian to Jyn and said nothing but only tilled his head to the side in a very human like version of There is something going on here. Jyn walked to Cassian's ship him followed.

"It is kriffingly cold here I don't know how I will survive this place." Cassian said stepping inside his ship and closing the door behind.

"You don't like cold." It was more of a statement than question coming from Jyn. She was standing with her eyes rooted to the ground fumbling with the zipper of her jacked.

"Well, don't like lots of things but I despite cold, I can tell that now and I only spend here like a day." Cassian answered her looking intently at her hope she would look at him. He wanted to ask her what did she truly want from him but he just bit his tongue. Why was she here? He was pretty sure he would be the one who would have to search for her and made her talk and yet she was standing right in front of him all nervous and…beautiful. He need to stop torturing himself with thoughts like that. After their parting conversation on Yavin 4 there was little hope she would change her mind. Or maybe there was hope…

"You need to find something warm do hold to." She mumbled still not looking at him but still yanking at her zipper as it had offended her in some way. She didn't have the courage to look at him, not yet. Not after the stunt she pulled on Yavin and her childish behavior. She didn't deserve his attention and especially his love.

"Having something in mind?" Cassian asked taking a step in her direction. He could tell how nervous and tense she was. But he decided that now it was her turn, her decision, her choice, he could only live with that. The silence stretched as eternity. She didn't look at him and he didn't press her. He could see the inside fight she was having within herself and he just waited for the results.

"Cassian I'm sorry." She finally blurted out rising her head and finally looking into his eyes. Her eyes glistered from unshared tears which startled him. He would do anything in that moment not to see her like that. He had seen her angry, determined, bitten up and injured but nothing was compared to this. He was afraid to move and he wouldn't dare to speak in fear of making her anguish worse.

"No need to be." Finally he whispered softly he was torn between wanting to hold her and smacking himself for causing her pain.

"Yes I have to." She answered her voice trembling. "I panicked. I don't understand most of the things that had happened between us this past days and most of them are scaring the hell out of me…" she trailed off fighting the tears form falling and trying to gather her thoughts.

"Why?" He asked quietly, he didn't want to cause her any more pain. If it was so painful for her he would walk away. Maybe she wasn't ready to love him back, maybe she needed time to heal and he was pressing too much.

"Because I can't control it." She finally answered her voice at the verge of anger. "Suddenly I miss you, suddenly I want to see you just to see your smile and I have never felt that way." The traitorous tears were finally falling from her eyes. It was painful just to look at her but the things she was saying was confusing, if Cassian could understand her correctly she was feeling the same. "I have never wanted anyone to be in my life and if I could do anything with this overwhelming feeling I would do it but it is too late." Now she was openly crying in front of him and it was the sight that Cassian wouldn't want to see ever again.

"What are you trying to say, Jyn?" Let it be finally over thought Cassian. In or out because he couldn't literary stand more.

"Well I think…" Jyn locked her eyes with him wiping her tears with her hand. "I'm trying to say I love you too." She finished lamely sniffing her nose and just looking vulnerably into his eyes.

"What?" Cassian was so surprised by her confession that he wasn't sure he heard her right.

"There I have said that." She huffed at him trying to wipe her eyes with her sleeve. She hated herself of crying in front of him. "I have no bloody idea what does that mean but I want to discover that with you." She finished challenging him with her eyes and Cassian could do nothing more but smile.

"Jyn you are the most complicated person I have ever met." Cassian said stepping closer and wrapping his arms around her taking her into his arms.

"Uncomplicate me" She muttered into his chest inhaling deeply his unique Cassian's scent. She sighed contentedly at his touch she could tell she won't have enough of this closeness her entire life. Being in Cassian's arms was her home.

"I will try." He whispered into her ear sending shivers down her spine. She rose her head from his chest and looked into his warm, brown eyes his eyes drowning her and pulling her closer. Then he kissed her, sweet and slow conveying all the longing he had felt ever since they parted. He could feel that she finally was willing him to love her. He deepened the kiss pulling her with him to sit in his pilot chair with her on his laps as close as their layers of clothes allowed earing an approval moan form Jyn. Just when Jyn was trying to unzip his jacked there was a loud crash behind them and they both looked up to what happened. There was K2 with the most hilarious droid expression on his face. If droid could stand with their mouth hang open it would probably look like that, the container with Cassian things laying on the floor where it had landed causing them stop.

"K2?" Cassian asked his voice hoarsely from all the emotions.

"You know Cassian there is still chance she would kill you." K2 offered in disbelieve.

"And you thought I don't know that." Cassian answered smiling warmly at Jyn who decided to cover her flushed face into his chest.

"And it's still high Cassian." K2 finished looking anywhere but not at the two of them.

They both burst into fit of laughter leaving poor K2 to his calculation. Untangling himself from Jyn and rising from the pilot seat still laughing Cassian took Jyn's hand at start walking off the ship. She was smiling at him this beautiful warm smile he had only recently discovered she had and he loved that. It would be a cold base but he just found a way to keep them warm.


AN: Finished, totally finished with this story.

Ok I have one scene which would probably be a good epilogue to this but I need some new story. I need more brooding and more unhappy and complex Cassian. As if he probably was. I always imagine him having really trouble with trust and love and in this story, I made him to fluffy for my liking but still I think it wasn't so bad. Definitely having fun to write this and is was amazing having all the reviews and support! Thanks again.