Author's Note: I don't own Naruto or the Rogue Three. This is a story I write for fun that I hope others will enjoy.
Clarity in Konoha
Chapter 6: Cameras, Butterflies and . . . Steve?
"Okay Lesson 1," I stated, "Photography!"
I rummaged through my art bag and handed the trio each a simple digital camera earning a sweat drop from the trio. Hinata took the camera with a little hestitance since when I said everybody I did mean everybody. Sai almost looked disappointed. I know photography is not that old but I decided to play it by ear. Of course like the good student he was, he took the camera and waited for orders. What was this the army? Naruto on the other hand was prepared to snatch the orange digi-cam and give me an earful about my lameness.
"What's up with you," Naruto retorted with a snatch, "What is this, a joke?"
"It's a basic digital camera or what I'd like to call a granny shooter." I explained, patience wearing thin, must not strangle the meathead, almost too tempting, "If you're going to do anything, start with the basics, same goes for art. This exercise is training the artist to try and see something in a new light alright?"
"Oh," Sai crooned recognition lit up his face, "Kind of like when you're going to kill an enemy but instead of a kunai you're going to kill him with a camera."
"Agh," I remarked, "Sai you don't kill something with a camera!" Ergh, it's been forever since I taught anyone. I mean the last time I taught was when I was a substitute teacher for an all boys Jr. High and I'd invited a hot female nudist to pose for me! After that no school would even hire me for skittles™ since my model walked around school naked. I have to simplify my teachings, would showing be better than telling?
I took out my handy DSLR, did a cucumber roll into the lawn and caught a candid picture of Hinata and Naruto who were too busy looking at what I was doing instead of where I was aiming. The camera went off. My targets were trying to rub the flash from their eyes. I glimpsed the preview of my picture with successful triumph. The sunlight behind Hinata and Naruto had framed them in a soft halo of heavenly light. Sai was in the background but only as a defocused silhouette where my two targets at either side were in perfect focus. A lens flare reflected off Naruto's Hitai-ate which reflected in Hinata's pale eyes just right to catch the dreamy look on Hinata's face. Yes I'm awesome!
"Okay, you three come here!" I called gathering the three to show them my latest masterpiece, "This is what I meant."
"Oh . . . Wow!" Hinata awed, "That's really good Clarity-chan."
"So is that what you do with a camera?" furrowed Sai, "You just take pictures?"
"I take pictures of anything and everything but this is actually just a basic exercise at seeing things in a whole new light." I explained. Naruto was too excited to listen. He decided to copy me except he did a back flip. . .
WHUMPH
. . . And fell on a rock howling, "ITTAI!"
"You're not supposed to hurt yourself Naruto and be careful with that, you only get one camera period." I barked while Naruto was busy rubbing his head and pushing a bunch of buttons like a baby with a busy box. I took the camera gingerly from his hands and had to start from scratch at showing the idiot how to work the darn thing. Hinata only needed a few pointers and started taking a few pictures of some of the bugs. Since she knew Shino was a big insect fan (gee wonder why). Sai still stood there waiting for orders.
"Okay what's the deal here?" I asked Sai, "I thought you'd be more enthusiastic than Naruto even. You're just standing there like a decoy duck!"
"What do you want me to take pictures of again?" He asked.
I just sighed, great, lucky me; my first ninja apprentice and he expects me to tell him how to do everything. Okay, so how would Kakashi handle a situation like this besides taking out his favorite erotica novel and giggle like a girly girl? From what I remember of when he embarrassed Naruto and Sakura by telling me the great misadventures of when they were genin. He'd basically just explain it in lame man's terms. Especially to Naruto, who just didn't quite get it much like Sai was doing now.
"Okay Sai sunrise and sunset, morning and evening," I explained, "Those are the best times to take pictures because the lighting is. . ."
"The lighting is perfect for pictures." Sai finished.
"Right without the harsh glare of high noon now go around and take pictures of anything and everything from as many angles as possible. That's your camera now so take good care of it alright?"
"Ossu Claire-Sensei," Sai cheered and in a swirl of ink he faded away. I did not know what to do with that boy. Oh well, this was going better than I had thought. I took a step into an Uchiha house. Something rattled and slender fingers grabbed me before I became pin cushioned.
SHINK SHINK SHINK SHINK
"Clairity-chan! Are you okay?" Hinata asked, as her vessels popped around the glare of her byakugan. A flurry of kunai swirled into my vision as Hinata pushed me out of the way.
"Gentle Fist: 13 Palm . . . 42 Palm . . . 64 Palm!" Hinata yelled, her open palmed hands a flurry of motion. A glassy shield of Chakra reflected all sides of flying projectiles. I floored it out of the way as an army of unknown ninja, young and old fell upon Hinata in an array of worn out colors.
"Naruto! Sai!" I called out, "We need back up now!"
No answer but there had to be a way to get to them somehow. I already went to buy time before I left this morning so not even the ANBU would know we were here. Shikamaru's in a puzzling mess I cooked up (Don't ask I made Murray deliver an encoded letter). The only one too lazy to get up at five o'clock in the morning and hasn't left for his daily disappearances (Even captain Yamato said this he's always late unless it's urgent.) Would be . . .
Kakashi Hatake who just happened to walk by the compound gates with my I-Pod in his vest. I wasn't allowed to throw anything so how could I get his attention. Ah screw it! Just my presence without any escorts around should be enough. He wouldn't be able to hear anything anyway. I grabbed a Kunai and flung it at him.
KA-THUNK
It impale itself into Kakashi's book. So much for decent aim, I was aiming for his face. His lone eye widened in horror. He stood in shock. He saw me. He shook with rage and lunged! Sheesh so much for friendly but at least I got back up. I was running for my life.
"Help!" I yelled but too late.
Kakashi just finished a flurry of hand signs before I heard, "Fireball Release: Great Fireball Technique."
Naruto and Sai overheard the commotion and went to see what was going on. Only, eh-heh to have to haul Hinata and my behind to safety when a giant fireball came flying in from out of nowhere. The Ninja army also ran screaming. Kakashi pounced on me, sharingan spinning, only to pause and have his face slacken in horror.
"What," I asked Kakashi, I could only see his masked chin not the other half of him, "What's wrong."
"Obito?" Kakashi suddenly shook but this time blanched, "Rin? It can't be you're dead!"
Just as I was dropped, I turned to see two honey blond and black heads of hair disappear over the horizon. Kakashi, being a stickler for duty was about to report to the Hokage. This time it was my turn to slam Kakashi. I grabbed him by the scruff of his throat. He threw me but not before I grabbed his Kunai pouch and took the impaled book from its wretched sheath.
"What's the big deal Kakashi?" I snapped, "Why'd you do that for?"
"You hurt my book." Kakashi groaned, not believing I was being stupid again, "Now can I have it back please."
"No."
"Huh?" Kakashi intoned as a flicker of horror melted across his face, "No? Okay then little Harpy Lady what are you going to do that's going to make me regret it."
I was only going to hold this thing over his head since I finally found a weakness to exploit out of the great Copy Ninja Kakashi. I needed to find out more about this Obito and Rin but once Kakashi said the H-word. I decided to be evil. He wants to play the down and dirty? Well he just messed with the wrong woman!
"Hmmm let's see," I enthralled turning to the page Kakashi was last reading, I cleared my throat and read, "Oh my darling? My lovely honey buns, how I long to caress your soft bouncy buns and swirl my tongue over your perky bouncy mountain tops. You are so glittery and sugar free I can't help but love you guiltily. You are chocolatey, good a guilty pleasure that I can lick up and down from head to toe. In fact I think I'm going to do so right about now."
The next few pages I read out of Kakashi's Icha Icha Erotica are way too gross and intended for a more mature i.e. hormonal audience so I won't let you know what's on the pages. I read Kakashi's book out loud, in public, and at the top of my lungs. People looked at me like I was insane! So I was but Kakashi's reaction was priceless. He lunged for the book but I had a pencil shoved up his nose keeping him at arm's length. Hinata gasped as Naruto openly laughed at his sensei while Sai, heeding my masterful advice, took pictures of Kakashi and me at as many angles as possible as we went down the street. I went around the block and back to the uchiha compound while Kakashi was having the most embarrassing time of his ninja career.
"I call this one the 'Struggle in a Moment of Time,'" Sai proudly announced as he showed everyone else one of his best pictures thus far, "It's my favorite."
"Yeah that's pretty good," I admitted, taking note of Kakashi's flailing arms and my opened mouth, "A moment of time indeed."
I was busy repairing the damage I had done to Kakashi's book while Kakashi was sitting there with his head resting in one hand, I-pod on his lap, and pouting. I just resewn the binding on the book and made a seemless repair of the gaping hole that used to be there. I had to admit that perverted book looked as good as new. I almost handed it to Kakashi's outstretched arm before I remembered why I took it in the first place.
"So," I asked, "Who's Obito and Rin?"
"My old teammates," Kakashi scoffed, "Can I have my book back?"
"No," I responded, "Elaborate for me, who is Obito and Rin?"
"Obito Uchiha and Rin . . . I forgot her last name," Kakashi pinched the bridge of his now sore nose as he continued, "were my best friends and team mates when I was nine or so when I was a student of the fourth hokage during the third great ninja war. Obito was always late, lazy, and always made up excuses but he never abandoned his comrades. Rin was a sweet natured medic nin who had a crush on me while Obito had a crush on her. It's kind of ironic, when trying to save Rin, Obito got crushed under a bunch of rocks. Rin put a little bit of him in me after I came to the rescue and here's all that's left of him."
Kakashi pointed to his sharingan eye, covered by the headband.
"Oh I get it," I finally realized as I handed Kakashi his book back, "You took on some of his habits as a way to honor his memory."
"Yes, now can we please stop," Kakashi intoned, "I don't want to talk about this anymore."
Naruto was sitting cross legged between Hinata and me as he leaned over to whisper, "Oh man and I usually never hear much about Kakashi's past."
Well at least I got some kind of clue during the little excursion though this was not the way I thought I'd get it. Okay so now we would've been getting up to go chase some dead guy if it weren't for some sudden sensation of eyes, billions of them actually boring holes in my back. I turned to look and caught sight of nothing. I turned to ask the rest if they got the same feeling. Naruto just shrugged his shoulders, Sai; no comment, Hinata looked a little confused and Kakashi was regarding me with a grain of salt.
"No seriously," I said, "Someone's here and not just here . . . here I mean I think we may have a couple or more stragglers of those ninja that attacked earlier."
"That's not possible," Naruto scoffed, "or us ninja would have-" He paused as he felt what he probably would've said about feeling a couple chakra signals flare up a long time ago.
"Byakugan," Hinata focused her eyes into some random northwest corner, "Actually . . . Clarity's right, there are two chakra signatures, a boy and a young girl?"
Kakashi unsheathed a kunai before I stopped him, "Hold it Kakashi, what are you trying to do? One of them is just a kid!"
"The other isn't," he rebutted
"Yeah but," I stammered but got cut short by a sudden blast of wind knocking me into a nearby tree!
"Eight Trigrams Palm Heavenly Spin" Yelled a voice followed by a blast of air.
WHOOSH
CRASH
The tree spilt in two and I barely slumped out of the way to avoid a falling oak branch.
A big man suddenly bounded lightly out of the brush. Open fighting stance. His pearly eyes shining in the light as soon he activated his Byakugan. What? Byakugan?! Good grief and I thought all the Hyuugas were in the Hyuuga compound across the village. Where'd this crazy dude come from?
"Dad?" Hinata asked incredulously, well now that I look at it He did have Hiashi's jawline but Hiashi was not that big and this guy stood at least 6'6 weighing in at 200 pounds of slim muscle. There was also another thing Hiashi didn't have that I noticed.
"Oh my gosh!" The big dude rushed over, flung Kakashi into a wall, and suddenly cradled me in his arms crying, "Oh Harpy-sama are you o-"
BASH
"Okay," He squealed, seeing as I ran a fist to his eye sockets.
"Who in the heck are you?" I snarled. Yeah, I had enough of the H-word thank you very much.
"My name is Steve Renji Ichi Hyuuga," beamed the man, "But you can call me Steve."
The rest of the crew, the ones that came with me at least, stared at Steve like he was nuts. The other straggler however popped out of nowhere with a wooden sword. She dove after Naruto. Naruto sidestepped and the little girl face planted into an ant den.
"AHHHHHHH! GET THEM OFF ME GET EM OFF!" The auburn haired kid screamed as she rolled in the dirt getting bugs all over her, "THEY'RE EVERYWHERE THEY'RE EVERYWHERE."
She sobbed, Steve paniced and fussed over the girl when Naruto bent down to see if she was alright only to get a colorful blur swarming his face.
"Ahhhh!" Naruto let out a silent scream.
"Get away from me you Monster," she suddenly hissed as a colorful swarm of butterflies swirled out of her sleeve.
"That girl's an Aburame!" Hinata gasped.
"An Aburame," Kakashi placated, "All the way out here?" I could see his point, the Uchiha compound isn't really in the middle of nowhere mind you but it's strange for it to be not void of life as well.
"That's Cho Aburame to you," She hissed at Hinata.
"Okay Cho," I asked as I pointed to myself then the group, "Do you know who we are?"
"You're that grumpy lady who threw a coffee cup at that Demon Brat's Head. Good Job!" She cheered, "But I don't know anyone else except for you!" She glowered jabbing a finger at Naruto, "You big ugly-"
WHACK
"Owie," she sobbed. Steve went to punch Naruto but I came first.
"What in THE HECK IS YOUR GUYS' PROBLEMS!" I roared successfully making those two assailants feel so small.
"What you think the Forgotten Ninja don't know about the attack over ten years ago," Steve quailed, "It's all the fault of one Uzumaki Naruto!"
I didn't know what they were talking about but something was wrong and stupid me had to ask, "What attack happened more than ten years ago Naruto?"
"A Nine Tailed Fox attacked our village," Naruto seethed, he gave his stomach a good squeeze, "The fourth hokage killed himself to seal the fox inside a baby and that baby was me!"
"Naruto-kun wait!" Hinata yelled but too late, he was already running farther into the compound. This was so not like Naruto. I'd have expected him to yell his head off or chuck a rock at these jerks at least. Something got Naruto's goat and I wanted to find out what it is.
"Clarity you stay here and I'll go get Naruto," Kakashi sighed.
"No," I spoke a tremble escaping my bitten lip, "No, I'll go get Naruto."
"He doesn't know you well enough and"
"And what," I snorted, "Like I don't know his pain at all?! I may not be a demon container but I know loneliness and the want to run away! I'm not leaving the kid behind Kakashi and so help me those ninja will try to kill you too because you were with him. They only know me for beaning a nine tailed fox on the head. I'll go get Naruto, Kakashi, when those Forgotten Ninja focus on me, run after me and then we'll all be able to get with the guy and I know you're gonna say I don't know the district but I know where he'll run to."
"Don't you dare," Steve growled.
"Oh I dare," I growled back at Steve, "Just watch me."
I knew Naruto was a demon container but I didn't know why. The only thing I knew we had in common was growing up with no friends and no family. I was unwanted worldwide (my fault) but I could only imagine a whole town hating somebody's guts. This was probably on a smaller scale. The glares these people gave me. I was shunned the moment I asked anybody if they saw Naruto run by. People openly spat in my face or looked ready to kill something the minute I shouted Naruto's name. They hissed gossip in harsh whispers. Turned a blind eye to the blond teen that ran away all except for me who was running full force as fast as my legs could take me. Was this the world Naruto grew up in as a kid? Was this why he ran away because he couldn't take much more of this? Man where was the idiotic knuckleheaded ninja we all know and love?
"Naruto!" I yelled, "Yo! Naruto!"
"Leave me alone!" He yelled suddenly dropping from the sky, "I just want to be left alone okay?"
"Naruto this isn't like you." I soothed, "This is more like your . . . Emo . . . Alter ego. Where'd your never say die loud mouthed attitude go?"
"It went to go pout," Naruto moped as he slumped down next to a tree beside a lake front. His usually bright eyes became listless pools like stagnant pond water as he hugged his knees to his chest. A pose I knew too well, I used to do it myself. Well, this was going to be a long wait. The rest of the crew (Kakashi, Hinata, and Sai) were already on the move by now.
I couldn't just leave him there. I had to do something. Well believe it or not I put my arms around his shoulders. I mean what was this kid my little brother? We fought, I threw stuff at him and he got on my nerves almost every time since we first met. Yet now Naruto didn't deny the attention though he probably was wishing it was Sakura that done this instead of the grump who threw a cat at his face. I mean good grief he gallops after Sakura like a donkey trailing a mare in heat! At least he didn't deny the hug but the least he did was rub a hand against my arm and smirk a little. Really that was probably the quietest thanks I got from that nimrod all day.
CRASH
"Ahhh! Get'em off me! Get'em off me!" Cho screamed as she rolled hysterically out of the bushes, this time covered in ladybirds, "Ahhhh! Help! Help!"
I had to laugh. It wasn't everyday you meet a bug phobic Aburame. Poor Cho looked hysterical. Now what was it Shino told me about his bugs? Shino had Kikaiju Cho seemed to swarm with man eating butterflies. Now what was that thing Shino dead panned about? What did he feed his bugs?
"Cho," Naruto called out, "Cho! Give'em your chakra dane it!"
Ah yeah, Kikaiju eat chakra, that's what Shino dead panned about.
"Ahhhh!" Cho screamed.
Suddenly the idea just hit me so I called out, "Yo Naruto, how about transferring some of your chakra into Cho than teach her how to release it."
"Oh yeah," Naruto beamed, "Good idea."
Naruto had me try and nab her (more for giggles since I was blanching when I felt the holes in her skin.) I never thought about what it was like having to pin down a member of the Aburame clan. I felt like I was holding a giant twitching bag of hissing cockroaches; shivers. As soon as Naruto placed his hands on Cho; that crawling twitch dissipated. A rush of blue swirling energy with a low high pitched hissing noise swirled around Cho. The ladybirds finally dispersed and a few butterflies flew out her sleeve once she calmed down. Naruto did give Cho a few pointers on how to release Chakra but what she told us next baffled us.
"You never learned how to produce Chakra?" Naruto yelled. Good grief and those Aburame dudes get cootie-fied as soon they're born right? I hated to figure out how Steve learned the Gentle Fist Taijutsu style of the Hyuuga Clan.
Cho, being the blabber mouth we all found her out to be told Steve's dirty little secret in a matter of seconds stating, "Don't worry about Steve though. He taught himself by spying on everyone in the public baths as soon as he activated his byakugan."
Our faces fell when Cho described Steve's perverted version of recon like it was a day at a spa. How can a 6'6 Hyuuga hide in plain sight doing the equal opportunity peeping policy? That's like hiding a cactus among daisies! Great, just how twisted is this duo? Nobody wanted to know.
Well there was one guy that wanted to know something. Daishioryu was sitting in the back of the bushes while Arikara and Yuukihana were working together on a good genjutsu to keep the Forgotten Ninja and the troupe of known leaf nin busy. Arikara, the genjutsu genius extraordinaire, slinked in among the trees through the shadows almost seeming to materialize at Daishioryu's side. Yuukihana appeared in a puff of smoke sensing Daishoryu's chakra flame a little in distress over something.
"Is something the matter Dai-kun?" Yuukihana innocently asked.
"This is taking forever," Daishioryu, deadpanned, "I want some action."
"Like what some making out?"
"No," he quipped, "I want to see her throw something at his face again, I'm bored."
"Well if you want something thrown do it yourself." Arikara mused, "Ninja Art: Unseen Shadow Hand no Jutsu."
CRASH
"Hey there he is!" yelled a voice.
The next thing I knew some invisible force bashed me. I went skipping like a rock across the lake. One splash, two splash, three splash and BOOM I gurgled under. What just hit me? It felt like an invisible giant fist. Arikara however let her face break out in a homicidal grin. I guess she was the only one to see an invisible hand. After all, It was her jutsu.
As soon as I came up for air. The Forgotten ninja, in otherwords that huge army that literally appeared out of nowhere just moments before had set up an even more massive lynch mob (led by Steve of all people).
"Your day of reckoning has come Demon!" Steve roared in a way the announcer announcers a boxing match, "In this corner are the good guys, In that corner . . . Ah screw it! DIE DEMON!!!"
"No Nii-san no," Cho wailed in a sudden change of heart, but her cries were bowled over by the roar of a crowd wielding pitchforks and swinging nun chucks. I dove down beneath the water only to resurface a few feet from Cho. She looked at me with fear shaking in her watery huge eyes. I took a breath, stepped out into the cold air and gently took hold of Cho by the shoulders.
"Look at me Cho," I soothed, "look at me."
Cho's whole head snapped to Naruto's destination. His fangs unfurled. The whisker marks deepened as a his lips parted into a wide thin line. His cadmium red eyes blazed asunder. The cloak of Chakra bubbling up around his form started to point out into pointy ears with two or three tails out back. He squatted onto all fours as a blast of ki made it into a decent crate. The Chakra becoming denser with each passing second.
"Gaa-ooooooooooooooooo!!!!!!"
Naruto's howl shook the entire compound. I clamped onto the little girl, Cho. I shielded her eyes from the skin that was peeling off Naruto's hands in burning chunks. The dense chakra mingled with the red hot fluids flowing from his veins to form a cloak. It was what Sai had once called a minature kyuubi the first time Naruto's mind had snapped into some four tales state on the Tenchi bridge. I bundled up Cho's sobbing little body in my arms despite the fact it felt like I was a holding a giant beehive set on vibrate. I rushed back from whence I came knowing that if I was going to stop this Hollow Baloney I was going to need some back up and fast.
Meanwhile, back at square one where Naruto first ran away. A few Ninja Pals of mine were getting bored and antsy at the same time. Don't know how those things fit together. Hinata was pensive fidgeting and worrying about something going to happen. She was too apprehensive to be bored. Kakashi started out with his nose in his book giggling like a hormonal fan girl but now slept with his book in his face snoring loudly. I swear it's a wonder he doesn't drown in his own drool. Sai went off to take pictures of an interesting looking rock since he took multiple photos of everything else. Note to self: if you're going to take pictures of a rock at high noon than you must be really bored.
"Gaa-ooooooooooooooooo!!!!!!" howled the beast.
"W-w-w . . . What was that?" Hinata gulped.
"Snaaarrrrrk . . . Ack ick *snort* hmmm?" Kakashi sat up and mused, "Did the Harpy strike again? Kind of hope not though."
"It's coming from over- hmmm? It's Claire-sensei," Sai beamed an honest grin graced his face, "Claire-sen OOF!"
I shoved Cho into Sai's hands. He looked at Cho then at me with trepidation. Scared at the prospect of my face as I said one batch of words. Everyone bolted after me.
"NARUTO'S IN TROUBLE WE NEED TO GO NOW!"
The battlefield we returned to that was once such a pristine lakefront was now a bloody desolate mess of oblivion. I shouted Naruto's name only to have this wide eyed grinning fiend turn to my shout. He lashed a tail at me but no such luck. I hid behind the first thing I could find which so happened to be a corpse. I graced the ground with my ramen as soon as I found time to hurl. Yuck, charred flesh and I thought the smell of turpentine and picante™ smelled awful.
Sai leapt into focus and put a shocked little Cho back in my arms. Kakashi slowed with a start as I noticed another head standing taller than the rest. I looked past Sai who had on a dismal amount of perplexity. I scanned Hinata whose pretty pearl orbs widened in horror as she put a hooked finger to her lips at the sight of the fiend which just so happened to be Naruto purring like a kaiju kitty in a room full of toys. The only one who really caught my attention stood at least a head taller than Kakashi with a wild main of long white hair in a ponytail, two red lines from the corner of his narrow eyes to his jaw line and some age spot on his nose. Guy looked in shape for someone about 50 something and yet something was off. He posed fantastically in this red and white Asian getup with a forehead protector that sported the kanji for "oil" in black ink.
The light cleared with the luster of evening as he shouted to the world, "Have no fear Jiraiya's in the hoooouse. YOW!"
KA-THUNK
"This is a battlefield not a stage you old fart." I growled, tossing around another skull around in my good throwing hand. Other hand was on my hips and I was already back to my sweet old self.
Kakashi threw a look at Jiraiya who nodded some sort of silent agreement. He cradled Cho and threw me over his shoulder. Hey! He didn't have to grope there! Gross what did he think I was fresh meat?
"Sayonara Harpy-chan," Kakashi beamed giving me an eye smile and a good bye salute as he disappeared in a plume of smoke. Ergh I just wanted to kill him!
"Let go you Pervy Fart!" I snapped, kicking and struggling, man I looked pathetic, "Let me go."
"hmmm," Jiraiya pretended to pause for thought as he ran, "Nope, your safety is Toad airline's 1 authority."
"Toad airlines?" I stammered and before I knew it he sent me flying.
AHHHHHHHH
PLORP
"Oh nice throw Jira-chan," gushed some slimy green fat thing with lipstick, blush, and way too much mascara, "You're just so strong Jira-chan."
"No problem Mr. Gamariki,"
That . . . Toad, Mr. Gamariki just fluffed the bow on his back. Jiraiya took my art bag and coffee! Darn it no one messes with that stuff but me! Yet why did he take it. I didn't have to ask.
"Whelp bottoms up Mr. Gamariki and haul her away." Jiraiya spanked me as he slid me forward. Oh he's in the dog house now that lecher but not before Mr. Gamariki opened wide.
"Ahh-ommm!" Mr. Gamariki gushed again as he swallowed me whole, Gross. I sure didn't like this situation already. Naruto was in trouble and I stuck inside some toad getting sea sick. Mr. Gamariki lopped away a hop at a time despite my protests of struggle within that slime ball's gut. I had to get out of here but how?
Then I remembered the little Ziploc™ baggie of Curry powder in my cargo pants pocket. Now there was a good idea. I fished around for it. Is Mr. Gamariki's tongue right around here? I unzipped the zipper and hurled the contents forward.
EEEEEEEEK!
Mr. Gamariki was squealing like a popped piggy. He spat me out and frantically kept trying to wipe curry powder off his tongue.
"All right I have a bone to pick with Cyclops and the Pervy Fart later. Where's Naruto?" I asked with a crack of my knuckles. Oh yes a 300+ pound girly toad versus a little slip of disgruntled artist. Who was going to be the victor. Well the victor just happened to be a ninja. The one ninja you'd never expect to turn against a "comrade."
"Sixteen Trigram Thirty two Palm!" Hinata yelled as a flurry of gentle thrusts suddenly caught the toad flopping to his side.
"Hinata all right," I cheered, "Way to sock'em!"
"Don't cheer yet Claire-chan," Hinata quipped Byakugan blazing, "I need your opinion."
She led me to a bush behind the battlefield where the Rogue three once stood. Now this is the part where I finally see this mysterious group of Ninja with my raw sienna eyes for the first time. A green haired dude seemed to pull a strip of iron from the earth and charge into an electrifying Broad Sword. Another timid looking girl suddenly sprung into action with a chakra powered kick deflecting Naruto's elongated flying arms as another torso rose up to slash her stomach wide open. That girl (Yuukihana) back flipped, a narrow miss, and leapt out of the way for a purple haired girl (Arikara) whose seafoam green eyes took on a shade of venom with green around the edges. Green whisker marks curled her cheeks as a long veil of shadows rose from the earth to dramatically embrace her. It was kind of cool.
Slow process at first but in a flash of darkness she vanished. The next instant she put a clawed shadowed hand through Naruto's gut. He snarled something inhuman as his assailant's purple cat ears (when did she get those) pinned flat against her head. A homicidal grin flexed across her face as she turned her claws and gave twist.
SQUELCH
Those claws were inching their way in a little bit at a time. Though why is it that these rogue three were fighting by Jiraiya's side? Where was Cho? Obviously, she was comforting a fat sobbing slime ball, Mr. Gamriki. Sai was flying through the air on one of his hand painted hawks. Not bad for a speed paint in Ninja Ink. It couldn't be Jiraiya was the one that went to do something down and dirty like hire the Rogue Three right?
I had a more pressing issue to get to.
"Naruto-kun OOF!" Hinata almost screamed.
I put a hand over her mouth hissing, "What do you wanna do? Get yourself killed?" Just then my cell phone rang causing Naruto to suddenly heave head sized rocks at my face.
ANIMAL I'VE BECOME
CRASH CRASH CRASH
KA THUD
PLONK
"Just a sec," I interrupted as I went to answer, "Shikamaru hi!" Shikamaru was busy cussing me out saying troublesome this and troublesome that. "Uh-huh uh-huh Murray helped huh. Good meet me at the Uchiha compound ASAP we need medic nins and plenty of psychologists on the double. Don't you nyah me! You can nap later. Go now! Uh-huh bye-bye."
"Naruto-kun would never do that," she snapped, "This isn't like him but I know he'd never be violent."
"Well eh-heh," I chortled nervously, putting away my cheap cell phone, seeing the proof of a bloody battlefield being a little disheartening, love is blind right? "You know as I know that Naruto is full of surprises but right now he needs rescued and even though he's already got the proven power of the World's 1 most sadistic Fuzz-fart in his gut. There's something I need you to do with me so that we can even the odds and give everyone at least a fighting chance of survival."
Cho meanwhile gingerly patted Mr. Gamariki's back. The twitch of every bug in her body thrilled at the feast of battle. The little Aburame girl looked around nervously until an angel appeared in her vision within the setting sun A.K.A. the dirt encrusted me. Sure I'm no angel, I had the sun in my eyes, I stunk like Toad breath and was the last person Mr. Gamariki wanted to see. That did not stop the hope filled Cho.
"Claire-neechan," Cho squealed happily as a vibrating body suddenly grabbed me. Boy she was humming with energy like a hot rod. turned his over spruced up face at me in a huff.
"A thousand apologies gorgeous," I forced a smile, "I'm sorry for the curry powder but I think I have an idea on how to find a certain . . . Painting?"
"Oh no-no-no-no!" Mr. Gamariki shook his head so much it was like watching jelly thrash itself, "You can't have the painting. The world would be doomed if you ever found it."
"I thought the world would be doomed if I didn't repair it?" I murmured, a fight was one thing but buttering up weirdo's is such an easier matter.
"I tell you what, you tell me what I want to know and I promise to be as good a girl as possible," I gushed, "In the meantime I'm doing a photo for your favorite magazine and I need a gorgeous model to stand over here. Be a dear would you please."
"Oh Goody!" Mr. Gamariki cooed, "How's this?" He pulled off some disgustingly sexy pose. Steve was busy making a fuss and was already going maternal . . . Perfect.
I stood into a sort of angry bear stance I'd seen on a Godzilla movie last Christmas and asked, "Can you pose like this." Mr. Gamariki obliged. "Thanks, STEVE HELP!"
"Eight Trigrams Palm Heavenly Spin" Yelled a voice followed by a blast of air.
WHOOSH
CRASH
Mr. Gamariki got sent flying, crashed into Daishioryu who was blindingly fighting Naruto, I.e. trying to stab a broad sword through his face. Yet Yuukihana made an impressive punch that launched Daishioryu and Mr. Gamariki right back at Steve. Steve got hurled into a tree.
"Um . . . Sorry Dai-kun," Yuukihana promptly apologized while Daishioryu's eyes were swirling. Birds flew around his head as he stood up groaning. Okay two down a few more to go.
Hinata was already on the offensive with that Pervy Old Fart.
"Hey Jiraiya," Hinata called.
"What?" Jiraiya asked.
"Look at this?" she requested and took out a picture I sketched on the back of Tsunade's last piece of scrap paper. I was bored during dinner last night and wondered what Tsunade looked like naked. My hand was drawing on its own I swear! When I found out it was on Danzo's last paycheck I suddenly pocketed the thing. Jiraiya's eyes bulged.
SPYUUUUUUUUU
Jiraiya rocketed via a nosebleed into Kakashi then knocked Sai off his bird with crash. A pile of ninjas drenched in ink fell to the ground. Naruto's "ears" perked as did Arikara's when she saw the bodies hit the dirt. The shadow's encroaching her body immediately dispersed.
BASH
Naruto's hand suddenly elongated sent Arikara sloshing the lake.
"Darn it!" She screamed before whispering, "That does it."
Naruto's glowy eyes seemed to crinkle into a sadistic foxy grin.
A shadow launched itself, invisible to all, especially me. I stupidly grabbed Naruto into my arms before he could launch a tail Arikara's way. Another Torso grew out of his outstretched arm. Claws dug into my back ripping it open. A thin layer of skin started to corrode itself away as I latched onto Naruto even tighter. Why in the heck was I doing this? I just wanted to do something.
Daishioryu, unfortunately, gained his senses.
"Lightning Style; Earthern Spike!" Daishioryu punched the ground. A thin stalagmite erupted forth. It pierced the hole in Naruto's chest and me as well electrocuting everything in the process. That shadow Aprikara sent split threw my head, his head, and the world went dark. Was this it? Was I artist number twenty six? Did all the ninjas who obliged to help me finally die in the crossfire? Who won? Was it a stalemate? I don't know. I just didn't know.
Chapter 7: Troublesome Woman: The Power of a Promise
Well, we finally find out why all the other ninjas in the village weren't there to help out. Murray delivered an encoded letter that stumps one of the smartest people in Konoha. Murray breaks in and makes himself at home in the Nara household. Meanwhile, Clarity is somehow swimming around in Naruto's brain and butts heads with none other than the nine tailed fox Kyuubi. Will Naruto be back to normal after this? Stay tuned to find out.
