So my summer homework took priority over Fanfiction and school started back up, but here is your next installment!

Yes, I admit... It's a bit of a filler chapter, however, the point was to begin broadening the relationship a bit more and to introduce us to the Vienna life. How do you think it'll be when Amon actually starts teaching? It should get interesting, huh? ;-)

Anyways, enjoy the more inner look into Amon.

Until I can next post, your ever faithful,

Red


Vienna, Austria

December 1945

I will begin working at the Napola after Christmas vacation. My actual position or sphere of teaching is "Instruction of Labor Camp Facilitation" or, less formally, "How to keep Jews in check and death camps from falling apart" class. Maybe I should've let myself be inducted into the Wermacht after all. But then I think about Helen and what could've happened to her if I hadn't taken this job.

Oh, Helen... I remember when we moved in three weeks ago and our house warming "gifts" to each other. I still can't believe that happened.

...

I woke up in the morning with a splitting headache from all of the liquor. I hadn't drunk so much in years. I had to do a double take before remembering I'd moved from the villa. We'd moved from the villa. I was lying on the floor and the rain from the day prior had died down a lot. I heard a fire crackling behind me and someone had thrown a couch shrug over me. Sitting up, I realized my own state of disarray.

I was naked except for a sock and I smelled like spirits and women. I noticed I was still in the "Red Room" but Helen was gone as were her things. When had she left?

As drunk as we'd been the night before I was surprised I remembered how I ended up here. We opened up to each other last night like two old friends. I can't believe I told all those things to her or that she told me about her life. I'd never really considered it before actually though.

Helen had always been my maid and my secret fantasy. Except for the one time when I'd really lost control and she had the baby, I'd not often really thought about who she was or why she was. She was what I wanted her to be.

I felt sick as I realized what I'd just thought. You asshole! You have never before viewed her as a human being.

The night before had been very human though. How she'd kissed me back, undid my tie and shirt, let me unbutton her jacket, her blouse. There were lots of drunk, subconscious kisses to her face, her neck. I felt my cheeks warm when I remembered that she had let me kiss her everywhere.

We made love. Regardless, she was drunk as hell, as was I, but I'd never seen her intoxicated before, so I was sort of nervous. It was wonderful though. She was so happy with me; I'd never seen her look so radiant! And then she passed out and I did too a few moments later.

Helen had truly given herself to me.

...

"Do you not like it? I thought I cooked those eggs too long."

My thoughts are interrupted by Helen. "No, this is fine. Quite good actually. I was just remembering the past, something I think neither of us like to do."

She turns away from me but not before I see her eyes flash quickly. She returns to whatever it is she is doing at the kitchen counter. Technically I should be eating in the dining room but it is so large and empty in there that I prefer to eat in the kitchen and watch Helen. It is Sunday, the only day she cooks anymore. Although she prefers to generally ignore me when I stand and eat in the kitchen around her, I think she is beginning to enjoy the presence of someone too.

"What are you making," I drawl.

"I'm preparing the pork roast for dinner. I'll make you a sandwich at lunch time," she says neutrally. Nearly everything she is ever says to me is neutral. I wonder why she continues to be this way but I deserve it.

"What are your plans for today? I'm skipping church. Maybe you want to go for a stroll in a plaza," I suggest.

"If that is what you'd like."

"As a matter of fact it is," I say, setting down my finished plate. "You know what? Go upstairs and get ready for a day out. I want to take you out."

"But sir, Amon, what about the pork roast?"

"Don't call me sir, Idiot, and we'll give it away to the maids. C'mon. I want to go."

An hour later we are on the aptly named Boutique Boulevard. There are shops galore. Beautiful young women stroll the streets with their little French dogs in their arm and a man on the other, a valet hauling stacks of boxes and trailing behind them. It is strange to see places still so untouched by war, people still so oblivious and giddy. It makes me feel sick and I instantly regret that I wanted to come here. Vienna is so different from the place where I spent my youth; it is also ridiculously the same.

I've made up my mind to take Helen out today though so I make my best efforts to pull myself together and we begin our shopping.

I buy her everything I like. It isn't uncommon for an officer to take his lady out and choose clothing for her that he'd like to see her wear these days. All of the officers do it but usually it's their mistress they're taking out. I'm taking out my wife.

We visit many parlors and shops and I must've spent 1000 marks by the time we're done. The funny thing is that Helen doesn't seem to enjoy our trip much whereas Ruth loved it when I bought her things. She is quiet and only chooses the most simple of items for herself when I finally tell her she should get something she specifically likes.

She was going to pick out a little silver cross necklace but I told her she couldn't so she picked out her next choice in this jewelry shop we were in. It was a little silver key brooch with a crystal imbedded in the end. I think I caught her off guard when I asked her why she chose the key because she answered me a bit nostalgically, "It reminds me of one my mother wore." For a moment I wonder about her parents but then try to blank the thought out.

For supper I take her to the old Figlmüller, a restaurant I always dreamed of eating at as a child but can afford as a distinguished adult. Right off the bat, Helen is the most beautiful woman there. Perhaps I am biased but I noticed the gazes she got from more than a just a few fellows. I should be flattered that my wife is such a winner but instead I am jealous. It's wrong and I try to distract myself.

She is quiet at dinner but I can tell she is impressed with everything we get. She thanks me so many times it gets annoying. After dinner we dance, and to my surprise she willingly dances with others when they ask for her hand. Even more interesting is how good a dancer she is.

It's stupid but I'd never really thought of Helen as a cultured person and in the few weeks we've been married I've noticed just how much more interesting she is than me than I noticed in the years she lived as my maid. To be fair, things were much different then.

I decide to claim a dance for myself with her. It's a slow dance and I press her body close to mine, closer than makes her comfortable but it feels too good to be selfless at this moment. After a while she relaxes and gradually leans her head into my chest. She is tall anyway, but I love that even with her heels on she is still shorter than me. I am able to lean my head onto hers and it fits just perfectly. I could be here forever, just inhaling the scent of her hair, her body. Just her in general.

We leave the restaurant around ten. After Kurt drops us off at home, I tell him to take the night for himself and give him a few extra Reichsmarks for fun.

Inside, Ingrid has been waiting up and takes our coats. Helen tells her she's dismissed for the night and I watch my wife begin ascending the grand stairs to the second floor. I should go to bed too but I'm fairly riled up. I go into the basement for a swim.

Just for the hell of it, I decide that I'll skinny dip. With my clothes done away with, I dive in the deep end and try to stay under for as long as possible. I kind of wish someone would come and join me. If I went to retrieve Helen or one of the servants, they'd swim with me but that would take effort to go and get them. No, on second thought, I think I'll just swim by myself.

I take a lap, and then another one. I lap around until I've exhausted myself and pull myself out of the pool and simply lay on the edge.

I try to think about things in depth but all of my thoughts are on a dead end for some reason. The only thing I can consistently think about is Helen or the things that I did in Plaszow. I don't really want to think about either at the moment. Eventually I fall into a deep sleep. It's dreamless or maybe I just don't recall.