First of all, I would like to dedicate this chapter to the girl who pushed me to hurry up and get this chapter finished; my not so little sister Nic Nac who recently started reading this story and who has become my "conscience" if you like in regards to updating. In any case me luv her lots n lots n lots, BUT no Nic Nac, you will NOT be getting my room!!!!!

To all my readers I would first of all like to sincerely apologise for the lateness of this post. I started university a week ago, and it has been completely hectic, mayhem and every other word you can think of, which explains the lateness and the slightly shorter chapter. I won't bla bla too long, so please, read and hopefully enjoy.


All Over Again: Chapter 7

"Concentrate Lily! Come on!" The small white feather trembled, struggling against invisible bonds, but instead of rising any further off the ground, it floated silently back to the tiled floor from its rather pathetic ten centimetre height.

Two pairs of eyes watched it fall, the one black and faintly impatient, the other dull green and woefully defeatist. The silence stretched uncomfortably until Moniqua spoke in a brisk business tone.

"Again. Concentrate and DIG! You're not going deep enough Lily, you're still avoiding, skirting around this wall you've put up. You have to face this, head on and with determination: confidence Lily, you must KNOW you can do this! If not…"

"If not then I bloody won't be able to do it! I get it! I KNOW!!!" The yell broke halfway through and Lily sank to the cold stone floor, her face in hands that were trying desperately to push back the tears that were seeping out of her tired eyes.

In all the seven weeks she'd been training with Moniqua Monroe, nothing had ever been so impossible, so frightfully painful as this challenge. Her training all but complete, this last lesson had had Lily screaming in frustration for days, and after all her efforts, her wandless managed still limited itself to levitating a goose feather five inches from the ground.

For Lily it was beyond frustrating; from childhood, she had been raised in the firm belief that hard work and effort would always produce results. Lily was not a genius, on the contrary, she pitied people to whom things simply came naturally because they invariably became lazy and even arrogant with their god-given good fortune. Her consistent Outstandings were earned through long hours of dull, torturous study and many sleepless nights; she had begun revising three months before the OWL's and had already mapped out her revision timetable for the NEWT's. It was therefore understandable that after thirteen days of practise, the lack of any visible progress was pissing Lily off.

Moniqua sighed, it WAS difficult, horribly so, and for Lily to have reached even the level she was already at, was an impressive accomplishment. But it was light-years away from what the redhead was capable of. A witch of Lily's talent should have progressed far beyond her current level in the past two weeks, she should be excelling as in every other subject of the Auror training Course. That she was not doing so was…incomprehensible to Moniqua.

Wandless magic was one of the most difficult forms in the wizarding world, and yet it was a talent every witch and wizard had as a child. The potential was present in everyone; the difficulty was bringing that talent back to the surface.

In a child, the first signs of magical ability were uncontrolled magical 'spurts', quick burst of power triggered by high emotional stress or tension, and in ninety-nine point nine percent of cases, wandless. Only through time and schooling, did this ability become locked away, as the first thing a child was taught when attending school was how to control their magic. In the battle for control, the skill of producing magic without a wand was almost always forgotten and locked away until the ability itself became lost.

The struggle to knock down that inner barrier was one only attempted by highly talented and advanced members of the Ministry. To unleash ones full power, abandoning all control and restraint was incredibly dangerous, often resulting in nasty accidents and even, on occasion, death. Lily was extremely young to be attempting such a feat and yet Moniqua was sure she had the ability and mental strength needed.

She obviously had found the source, the pool of magical power present in any witch or wizard with magical ability; the levitating of the feather, however weak and pitiful the attempt, showed quite clearly that she had found that pool. What she was lacking was the trigger.

From past experience, Moniqua knew full well that finding the source of ones magical power was the easiest part of the lesson. The step that was impossible to most, was the controlled unlocking of that door. The witch or wizard had to somehow open themselves up to and embrace the whole of their consciousness, blanking out worries or fears and especially emotions, clearing their mind in a technique almost identical to that of Occumency or mind-blocking. For this, complete acceptance of ones self was necessary.

In one word, confidence. It always came back to that, Moniqua thought to herself in frustration. Lily was blocking it, refusing to open the door, always interrupted by some memory or emotion that brought a look of terror and agony to her face before the magic was released, flung away from her in fear. Every time the same thing too, if the expression on the young girls face was anything to go by. She would get so far before suddenly her strange nemesis would flash before her green eyes and break both her and the magic she was trying to draw out of herself. In the past few lessons, Moniqua had thought she was beginning to confront this strange fear, but no. All Lily was doing was brushing the edges of her magic, commanding only the weakest of spells, trying desperately to avoid whatever memory came back to her whenever she dug too deep. In short, she was being cowardly and Moniqua had had enough.

She shook her head and the thick ebony locks rippled like a shadow on water. The movement seemed to bring the girl in front of her to her senses. She looked up with eyes that glistened with unshed tears, silently apologising for the cowardice her mentor had so plainly recognised.

Moniqua's face was sad but otherwise expressionless. Her musical voice was soft but clear as she told her pupil to get up and retrieve her wand. Lily silently obeyed.

"Sit." That was all. Lily looked at the auror in confusion, but she sat.

"I will return in half an hour. I want you to use that time to meditate on whatever it is you are so strongly avoiding thinking about. As long as you keep running from this thing, any work we do in regards to wandless magic is pointless. Reflect on this." Another nod and she was gone, apparating with a swish of black cotton robes and a wave of her wand, ebony as her hair.


Lily was left alone, cross-legged on the stone floor and her burnished head dropped to between her small hands in a gesture of defeat. Why? Why dammit?!! Why was he doing this to her?! Even during her holidays, her one time of peace from her nemesis, did he STILL manage to haunt her day and night. However many times she tried to calm her mind and embrace her past, the pain would always come rushing in like an overwhelming flood after the opening of a damn. She just couldn't deal with it, the pain, the hurt and worst of all the hateful longing she felt in her entire body as soon as she tried to plunge into the depths of her unconsciousness. Every time, his mocking, infuriatingly gorgeous face would swim before her eyes and the words, those crushing blows, they would just pull her under, drowning her in the agony of the past.

She was weak, so damn weak. Moniqua's contempt would be barely veiled. She would realize how pitiful and worthless her pupil really was and everything Lily had strived for in the last few months would be for nothing. Overcome with despair, Lily waited in silence on the cruel cold floor, for the swish of black robes that would announce Moniqua's return and the end of Lily's dreams.


"Up." Lily spun round in shock, reaching automatically for her wand as the soft, musical voice cut through the silence like a knife through butter. Moniqua was standing just inside the open door, her arms folded and a heavy looking, dusty oak chest a her feet. Lily scrambled to her feet, brushing the dust of her dark jeans and black sweater, eyes questioning a she wondered why her mentor had obviously chosen to arrive outside and enter via the door rather than simply apparateing into the training room. Though now she came think to of it, the racing of her heart and slight shaking of her hands her were probably reason enough. Moniqua always reminded Lily to be on her guard and sure enough, her mentor's silent arrival had completely disconcerted her.

As ever, her embarrassment triggered the tell-tale flush on her cheeks but Moniqua made no comment, instead simply indicting that Lily should move to the centre of the room. Without question, Lily obeyed, frowning warily as Moniqua waved a wand and levitated the dusty chest towards her and placed it about three meters away form the redhead. Lily had taken a hasty step back as the chest voiced it's heavy disapproval of the movement by a vigorous shake, causing cobwebs and a small spider to fall unceremoniously to the floor. Lily didn't watch it scuttle away; her green eyes were fixed on the trunk that was continuing to rock and shake as the creature inside stirred menacingly. She turned her nervous gaze to her teacher.

"In this chest is a Bogart. I will not insult your intelligence by demanding or giving a definition of its form and nature. Instead, I want you to think carefully about what this boggart will transform into once I open the chest. If you will not confront your fears yourself then I'm afraid that I must and will force you to do so. I cannot allow this thing to hold back our training any longer."

By the end of her speech, Moniqua's eyes and voice had softened slightly, regretting the necessity of pushing her student to so far. But this phobia needed to be recognised; only then could t be cured. And facing a boggart was the most drastic but fastest way of revealing a witch or wizards deepest and darkest fears.

For a moment she wondered whether Lily would refuse; there was terror in her eyes now, as she realised exactly what was about to take place. The girl looked so incredibly fragile, in was heartbreaking, but no, she needed to face this. She had the ability and the famous Gryffindor courage; in short, she had all and more that was required.

As if in answer to her mentor's thoughts Lily turned back to the chest, her wand in hand and her eyes burning with determination. She squared her shoulders and gracefully leant back, one foot forward into a flawless, classic duelling position.

With a nod, Moniqua waved her wand and the chest sprang open with sharp bang and a dark, formless shape burst out of the oak case, before seemingly turning towards Lily and disappearing with a loud pop.

Moniqua wasn't really sure what she had been expecting. Her parents lying dead perhaps, a gruesome memory from the past, or even the tall dark silhouettes of the terrifying death eaters who supported Voldemort and did his bidding. But nothing could have prepared her for the form in front of her. For once, her calm, composed features seemed to freeze into an expression of pure shock. It was an expression that coincidently was mirrored on the small face of the red head standing with shaking hands in front of her worst nightmare.


He was taller than she remembered, Lily registered through her silent scream, broader too and so, so much more beautiful. Even the ugly sneer that curled those flawless lips couldn't lessen the perfection of that dark brooding face. James' hazel eyes were lit with that startling fire that strangely enough darkened rather than lightened them. Their cruel almost sadistic intensity brought out the familiar sweat over Lily's skin and her knees threatened to buckle as he moved with catlike grace towards her. Unable to tear her eyes away she could only watch with tear-filled eyes as his hand reached to brush a lock of hair behind her ear as he lent in close enough for his icy breath to touch her cheek.

"Poor pathetic little Lily, falling for the oldest trick in the book." He laughed low and mocking. "You thought you were special didn't you, you actually thought you were different, that maybe I gave toss about you." She lowered her green eyes, as the tears rolled down her white face. She could hear the vibration of his chest as he chuckled once more, and as she squeezed her eyes tight against the pain, the sneer that haunted her nightmares still mocked her from beneath her closed lids. His hands were moving now, brushing down the soft skin of her neck, and part of her screamed in warning as they closed lovingly over her jugular.

"It was so pathetically easy Lily and you know what, when it came down to it, you weren't even worth the effort." The words made her gasp and sink to her knees, not even caring as he prepared to tighten his grip. She couldn't face the truth, the agony of knowing just how far she had fallen, how pathetic she had been to fall for it, how pitiful she was to love him still. Her lids closed in resignation and a soft half smile touched her lips as, unbidden, a sweat memory came to wish her goodbye.


Flashback

"Hey." Lily turned, a smile already on her lips. Only three months ago, it would have been a look of disgust. Strange to think that now, she would recognise his deep, seductive tones anywhere. His eyes were laughing at her, sparkling with childish pride at having found her, a cocky grin hovering on his lips. She smiled back questioningly. How had he known she'd be by the lake, under the same tree of their last, heated argument? But then, he always seemed to know

He sat down gracefully beside her leaning back against the bark with his large hands clasped behind his very handsome head, lids hiding those breathtaking hazel eyes. Lily swore under her breath. This seemed to be happening a lot lately, the side glances at his profile, the outright staring at the back of his shaggy head, the annoying itch to reach out and touch his lean cheek that seemed impossibly smooth.

Without warning, he opened his eyes and looked straight into hers, his cocky grin and the sly glint in the hazel orbs showing he'd been well aware of her staring. She flushed and turned her head with such force, that the red curls swished round and slapped her in the face. She shoved them back angrily and determinedly glared at her knees until his low laugh caused her to peep through her thick hair to look at his face.

"All right, Evans?"

His eyes were glowing, mocking certainly but gentle rather than malicious. He then looked smoothly away and changed the subject with a gentlemanly tact that surprised her.

"I'm guessing you're out here because it's his birthday." She looked away and his eyes widened slightly in worry that he'd upset her. "I mean, after what you told me in the kitchens, I just gathered…He's a friend of the family, he was I mean. He worked with my parents and well, the Potters and the McKinnon have known each other for centuries. That's how I know. If you want me to go, I can…" He was rambling, and Lily smiled slightly as she touched his arm with her small hand to prevent him from rising.

He looked at her intently, devouring her eyes in his search for tears or pain. Seemingly reassured by what he saw, James relaxed at settled back against the tree, still holding her gaze.

Her smile was sad but sweet, before turning and looking out over the vast stretch of blue water, fringed in the distance with the beginnings of the dark forest. Thoughts and memories of Harry McKinnon filled her head and she found in surprise that tears were rolling down her cheeks as she thought of his soft, infinitely kind smile as he listened to her fourteen year old self ramble on and on about tailwind and acceleration. Even as he'd shielded her from the deathly green light, his eyes had been impossibly gentle, loving even. Not one ounce of regret had been there, as he gladly took the curse to save her. His last smile had reminded her of her father's, proud of her and soft and kind.

A warm hand against her cold one brought her out of the past with a jolt, and she looked down to see her small fingers wrapped safe and secure in James' brown grip. She raised her gaze to his face and her breath caught in her throat. Glaring in anger or sneering in arrogance, he'd always been beautiful. Now as he looked at her with softly glowing, anxious eyes and hair ruffling gracefully in the breeze; she thought her heart might break with longing. Her lips parted in a silent cry and she could only gaze with agonised eyes as he gently wiped her wet cheeks with cautious fingers.

He wasn't looking at her, carefully keeping his gaze on their interlocked hands as though studying a rare species. When she didn't look away, he finally gave in and raised his eyes so that green met hazel in spark of electricity that suddenly made the atmosphere tenser than ever before.

Her eyes still locked on his, she slowly moved her face towards him, silently begging him to do something. His raged with too many emotions to count; uncertainty and want and for some strange reason guilt, all battled for supremacy in those hazel orbs until he suddenly tore his gaze from hers and pulled back, his whole body shifting until it was as far away as possible from the girl beside him.

Rejection tore at Lily's heartstrings and her cheeks stung with embarrassment. All she wanted to do was to run, to flee to her room and her friends and cry her heart out because she wasn't good enough, wasn't pretty enough even for the Hogwarts playboy. Fumbling for her bag, she started to scramble to her feet, blinded yet again by tears that she refused to allow to fall.

The hand that still lay in hers suddenly tightened its grip and, eyes wide in shock, she found her self wrenched back to collide against the chest of James Potter. Her lips had opened in surprise but the words died on her lips as she cowed before the raging fires that fixed her to the ground in their intensity. They were wild, mad even, with such emotion that her first reaction was fear, until it was smothered by an answering desire so strong it sent tingles down her spine and made her body ache with desperation for something, anything that would satisfy her unbearable need for the boy in front of her.

The silence stretched and the two simply stared at each other, both tasting the tension on the air and the delicious anticipation that was building. James' eyes softened and instead of ravishing her as she was half hoping he would, he raised his hand and Lily's eyes closed as the pad of his thumb gently brushed her lower lip, as they parted wistfully at his touch.

The thumb left her mouth and she started in surprise to feel it move to her neck as he tilted her face up until she was looking him directly in the eyes. He smirked slightly at her expression of shock and shook his head slightly as she pouted at him.

"Lily Evans, you silly girl, for the last time, will you or will you not go out with me?"

Her eyes widened and he took her shocked smile as a yes. The next thing Lily knew, her lips were crushed under his in a kiss that almost made her knees give way, as both she and her heart were carried away by the tide of his passion. It was slightly dizzily that she pouted at him when he finally drew away. After all, who needs oxygen anyway.

End of Flashback


Oxygen, that rang a bell. Lily's consciousness suddenly realised that she was breathing again, the hands around her throat were gone, he hadn't even had time to tighten them. She opened her eyes to see the small and yet strangely imposing form of Moniqua Monroe in front of her. Her mentor's wand was out, pointed directly and the boggart who was no longer James and yet was also one of the last things Lily would ever have expected to see.

It was another boy, almost identical to James in both height and breadth, but older by maybe five years. Like the form before it, the illusion man was breathtakingly beautiful, in a way that reminded Lily of Sirius, but a Sirius so cold, so obviously dangerous that it was an insult to call them alike. The young man had the same longish black hair that fell into his eyes with impossible elegance. But the eyes themselves were opposites. Whereas Sirius' violet orbs sparkled simply for the love of living, these eyes were cold and hard and grey as a shadow, though the whites around them were oddly tinged with red as though the owner hadn't slept in weeks. His skin was pale as snow and his long bony fingers flexed in a way that made Lily's skin crawl.

She glanced at her teacher to see her reaction to this man who was apparently her greatest fear, but Moniqua's face was set in stone. For a heartbeat there was complete silence, before the vampirish figure opened it's mouth and spoke in a soft lilt that send shivers down Lily's spine.

"The famous Miss Monroe. I word of advice; people who covet Lord Voldemort's property seldom prosper."

There was a flash of light, and the boggart was gone; the woman's silent rididiculis had blasted the shape shifter into a thousand pieces. Lily looked wide eyed at the grim smile dancing on the dark-haired woman's lips. Her black eyes were far away, deep in the past as her voice echoed softly into the empty room.

"How fortunate then, that he was never yours to begin with, Mr Riddle."


The room itself seemed to wait with Lily, for Moniqua to awaken from her trance-like, blank scrutiny of the stone wall. A few tense moments later, she stirred and met Lily's worried eyes with a reassuring smile before walking to the huge open window. Lily hesitated before silently following, coming to stand beside her mentor as she looked out over the vast green fields that surrounded the building.

Lily yearned to speak, to ask her teacher if the man they had seen had truly been Lord Voldemort, but the silence was cold and unfriendly and she didn't dare break it.

"Ask Lily, only by questioning do we gain answers."

Lily turned to her teacher, returning her gently mocking smile with one of relief. Moniqua eyes were kind as well as serious and she waited for once without her habitual impatience.

"Was that really…?"

"Yes, it was. A younger Lord Voldemort, but one quite as deadly. Though rather more personable, than the present day." She smiled at her own slight joke, but Lily couldn't laugh. She was too busy trying to get her head around the fact that Moniqua had somehow known, or at least met the young, handsome man who would, not so long after, become the greatest dark wizard the world had ever seen

"He said you took something that he considered his." She left the statement hanging in the air, the question implied not asked. Moniqua was silent for a moment, before sighing and turning back to her anxious pupil.

"And in a way, he was right. In some strange way, I knew that the threat in those words was no bluff but, I took it anyway. You'll probably understand what I mean when I say, when you want something so badly, reason and consequences seem to go out the window." She sighed once more, a heavier and sigh sadder one than the last.

"And so I earned the emninity of the most dangerous man on the planet, and a price on my head worth more galleons than most people make in a year." Moniqua's smile was cynical rather than bitter, Lily suddenly realised. She looked back at her mentor who was now staring once more out of the window, smiling softly at someone only there in her mind The emotions were so adult, that Lily hesitated, trying to grasp the alien concept, before asking her question.

"Whatever it was, was it worth it?"

Moniqua's laugh seemed to echo over the sloping grounds, rolling on the wind as a bird of prey rides the thermals. She turned her majestic head and the coal black eyes sparkled at Lily's bemused expression.

"Was it worth defying the most powerful, evil dark wizard of history?" Her smile was ageless, filled with a wisdom that made Lily suddenly feel very very young.

"Oh yes, it was worth it."


Moniqua shook her head and the spell broke as she turned to the girl beside her, suddenly business like in her manner.

"Enough about me, this task was for you to face the fear which kept you from opening your subconscious." A pause, and then Moniqua continued, her voice suddenly strained and uncomfortable.

"Who is he?"

Lily looked back out the window before answering.

"James Potter."

"Yes but who is he to you?" Moniqua's tone was impatient, even frustrated and Lily turned back to her with puzzled eyes. Her teacher seemed to realise how she'd sounded and relaxed, smiling gently at the redhead.

"What happened?" The question was gentle and unobtrusive, and for the first time Lily ached to let down the walls around her, to let someone in, to tell Moniqua the truth. But she couldn't, it was too…much. She would have to settle once more for white lies and half-truths that would satisfy her mentor's curiosity. Lily sank to the stone floor, and Moniqua gracefully lowered herself beside her. Lily's white hands clenched and unclenched, as she took a deep, steadying breath and prepared to tell her story.

"He was the schools golden boy; quidditch hero, genius, idol even. Every girl would have killed to spend a single night with him and every male in the building dreamed of filling his shoes. He's…James Potter, the guy who has it all; looks, brains, astounding talent on a broomstick, he even had the personality, most of the time." She paused, staring down at her fingers with a rueful smile.

"And I hated him."

Moniqua's brows had been lowered in a deep frown, but at this, they rose in surprise and then puzzlement. Lily laughed at her expression and went on.

"I wasn't jealous if that's what you're thinking, Miss Monroe. I hated him, because he was a bullying, big-headed, son-of-a-gun who, instead of being grateful for his good fortune in life, believed it gave him the right to treat everyone else like shit. He doesn't give a damn about anybody, at least except about his three best friends."

"Sirius Black, didn't you say?"

"Yes, and Remus Lupin and Peter Pettigrew. They are the gang, his boys, his world really, the constants in his life. Anyone else is just passing through; if they're lucky, they might get a wave goodbye." The smile was bitter now, filled with hurt and resentment. But Moniqua still looked puzzled.

"And you hated him for his arrogance?"

"Yeah…for his arrogance and for the fact that he was a complete and utter womaniser. What 's more, he's virgin-killer, one of those guys who thinks it's the funniest thing in the world to make some poor, unsuspecting, probably shy and quiet girl into falling in love with him. They all do, he just…gets to them, anyone from any house. He knows the words, the touches, the smiles; he's the Picasso of the art of seduction. And every time they fall for it. And every time they give in, lose their principles and standards and every time they let him into their pants. Despite the fact that he's been cheating on them the entire time, with some bleached blond from the year above. And then the next morning, he's gone. A quick note on the side on the pillow, and when they come down to breakfast, he's already chatting up his next victim. I hated him, I loathed his very existence because of that…way he had of dragging down any self-respecting female into the dirt. The way he just had to SMILE and they would come running to his feet like pathetic little lapdogs. The way he…loved it; loved watching them fall so far…"

Lily's voice dropped softer and softer until it was barely audible.

"And than he turned to me. He decided that the bookworm Lily Evans would be his next target. He beat the crap out of my ex-best friend and then had the fucking NERVE to ask me out while Severus was still dangling in the air. God, if I'd hated him before, it was nothing to what I felt then. Severus became, simply Snape that day, and I hated the arrogant prat for taking away my oldest and closest friend, however much my brain knew that it would have happened anyway. It was still his fault, EVERYTHING was his fault." she said with a slight smile.

"It was all worked out in my head; I would hate him for all eternity, he'd realise I wasn't worth the time nor effort, and we'd both move on with our life as we had before. And then he had to go and mess it all up."

"He changed. He stopped flirting with everything in a skirt, he studied and made an effort in every OWL, and then when school broke up for summer, he came and visited me almost every day while I was working. At first with Sirius and then more and more often on his own. He would bring me a bottle of butterbeer after work, maybe take me for an ice-cream and he was…perfect. Still cocky and flirtatious, but even that he managed to tone down so as not to wind me up. Every effort in the world, he made it, until I couldn't find anything I could hate about him anymore. Bloody git."

"I began to call him 'James' rather than screaming the word Potter. When he wasn't being a prat, I could see what everybody else saw in him, understand to a certain extent why people worshipped the ground he walked on, why girls and guys alike flocked to him in their hordes. He was just so…fun. He could adapt to anybody and any situation. He had that way of looking at you and making you really feel that at that moment, the only thing in the world he cared about, was you. So when he asked me out, I'd been silently wishing he would do so ever since the beginning of term"

Lily half laughed, a harsh bitter sound and Moniqua watched and listened in silence as the redhead's green eyes, suddenly ignited into emerald fires. The white fingers clenched into small, but purposeful fists, as she glared at the white wall as though James' portrait could be seen there.

"I didn't even stop to think that is was too perfect, didn't even wonder at the fact that in two short months he'd transformed himself into the epitome of my ideal man. It was all so subtle, so slow and so beautifully done, that I didn't even notice him doing it. The rare times he let the mask slip, he immediately committed the mistake to memory and never made it again. Looking back, I have to give him credit as the most unbelievable master of seduction I've ever seen. In that sense, its not even really his fault; I was the one who fell for it, I was the idiot who fell for the guy I'd sworn I'd never be taken in by. And that night, just when I thought maybe, just maybe he loved me, he proved exactly how little he thought of me."

The tears were falling by now, softly and silently rolling down her faintly flushed cheeks and she wiped them away with rebellious determination. Moniqua's eyes were soft and sad, but at the back of them lingered a fury that Lily missed. Probably only two people in the world would have had any idea just how angry Moniqua Monroe really was.

She pulled the quietly sobbing girl into a gentle hug, resting her brown chin on the girl's copper curls and softly rubbed her back with loving hands. It was good that Lily had got it off her chest, good that now she could talk about what had happened, and would now, hopefully be able to move on from it. She shushed the redhead quietly, rocking her back and forth as one would a baby to calm a nightmare. Only when the sobs had subsided and Lily had pulled sheepishly away, did she break the silence.

Lily felt her chin being lifted by a gentle yet firm finger, and the gesture brought a slight pang as involuntarily she remembered another person by a blue lake doing the same thing. She raised her head to meet her teacher's eyes that were now stern and dazzlingly intense.

"Listen to me Lily Evans. Don't you ever let people make you feel worthless. James Potter is, granted, everything you're not, and he's also everything you'd never want to be. Your modesty, your determination, your inner strength and astounding courage, all of these qualities make you worth ten of that spoiled, apparently very badly educated boy. He doesn't deserve you Lily, but if I had to bet on anything in the world, I would bet he's still kicking himself for letting you go, and if he isn't he isn't worth a second of your time. I know that hearing all of this will never stop the pain of loving him, I want you to promise me something. Promise me you'll show him just how much he lost when he hurt you, and don't dare ever let him see you cry again. If this is your heartbreak then « trés bien » , but I will not have you cowering like dog in front of it. Regardless of the pain, these feelings are one more emotion to be mastered, with the same techniques as all the others; discipline and self-confidence."

Moniqua paused, and looked at the girl who was, by now, far more than just a pupil.

"What do you say Lily? Will you let him win or will you stand up for all the girls whose hearts he's broken? Will you sit and sigh over what might have been or will you teach him a lesson he won 't forget? It's really your choice and yours alone."

Lily didn't answer, but then she didn't need to. Just looking at the fire in those burning emeralds, Moniqua couldn't quite suppress either her smile of satisfaction or a tiny twinge of pity for the boy who would have to deal with this new and improved version of the redhead Lily Evans at the start of the new school year. The girl smiled back; a vicious, cynical smile but nevertheless, it's ferocity was enough to send shivers down any casual observer, peeping in at the other window. He wouldn't like to be in James' shoes right now, not for love nor money. The poor bloke would have no idea what had hit him.


The night air was refreshing when Moniqua stepped outside. It was about half ten, and Lily had just collapsed into the small camp bed, exhausted from the two hours of practising wandless magic, that had followed the rather enlightening encounter with the boggart. She was still far from finished, but in those two short hours, her progress had been, finally that which Moniqua had been hoping for. Lily was on the road to recovery. Now Moniqua could turn to other matters, number one of which was the bone she had to pick with a certain somebody.

In the last rays of the late evening sun, most of the grounds and trees were cast into shadow; Moniqua's face and left side were no exception. Apparently staring quietly and the magnificent sight of the orange and red streaks, just disappearing over the horizon, she waited. Only the tiny smile on her on her lips would have indicated to people in the know, what was going to happen next. The world was silent, the lack of wind meant that even the trees were resting as if weary from the hot day's sun. Outside the large stone building, the peace was left unbroken for all of ten minutes and the dark haired woman listened and waited.

Then he moved and a split second later five beams of light had shot out of Moniqua's wand, plunging into the ground around the intruder like fiery javelins. The comical look of panic on his face made the coal black eyes light up in a cynical smile. The smirk that hovered on her mouth was almost innocent, but the sight of it caused the newcomer's face to blanch.

Another flick of her wand, and more javelins flew out, surrounding the young man and effectively encaging him in red beams.

"How it that for a person who is famous for his infinite patience allowed his mind to be clouded with distractions, causing him to move too soon?"

"Well, it's a funny story, so funny in fact that I'll, erm, go, yes, right now to erm, share it. Please feel free to continue, you wonderful woman." The winning smile sent her way did indeed make Moniqua's own smirk widen, but from the nervousness obvious on the intruder's face, this was apparently not a good thing.

"You do that Sirius. And while you are expressively forbidden to tell James why, feel free to warn him that goblin torture is nothing to what will be waiting for him when he gets back."

The Hogwarts idol, visibly gulped.

"Yes maam." He was already edging backwards towards the back outline of the manor house against the dusk.

"Oh and Sirius…"

In the pregnant silence, the french woman's smile became just a touch more evil.

"Tomorrow we'll discuss how you forbore to mention that my pupil's greatest traumatism, the thing that has been holding her back for the past two weeks, is none other than my son."


There you go. I do hope you enjoyed it. I'll keep this comment pretty short because I'm trying to post this at 5 in the morning just before I leave for Uni, (two hour drive L ) but please read and review. And the speechemarks are offucially normal thank god . :)

Luv you guys

Lili

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