Conversations – Part Two

Lily had flounced upstairs and down the hall to Heath's room, which is how she thought of it, and after going inside slammed the door hard. She had then thrown herself on the bed and started crying, waves of exhaustion over taking her. It also upset her at how Heath had acted, like it was her fault she got lost in the first place. If he had not sent her out alone, she seethed; she would never have ended up where she did. Thinking that made her stop crying and get angry, as his words rang through her head.

Finally deciding that this was getting her nowhere, she took her riding habit off, and went down to the bathroom, to get cleaned up. Lily had to admit that bathroom was very large, and very modern in its appointments. She took a nice hot bath, which made her feel better, and then she dried off. Putting her robe back on, she went back down to his room, to brush her hair.

Just as she was standing in front of the dresser, where the mirror was, getting ready to run the hairbrush through her hair she heard a knock at the door. Lily walked over and opened the door, surprised to see Catherine and an older woman in a black dress with a lace collar, standing there.

"Hello Lily, I thought you might be hungry so I have some food here. Do you remember my maid Nina?" Her sister-in-law had a kind expression on her face as she made her inquiry. Lily had seen Nina before, both when she was dressing for her wedding, and once or twice upstairs. She felt bad that she had not recalled the woman's name, but that seemed to be her fate lately.

"Yes, of course Nina, it is nice to see you. Catherine, I'm not sure how hungry I am." Lily hesitated, wondering if Heath was going to come to check on her. She was hungry, she realized, as she smelled the food, but it bothered her that it was her sister-in-law bringing it and not her husband. "Is Heath downstairs?" Lily temporized, not sure what to do.

Catherine saw the hesitation in Lily's eyes, and answered her question as she walked into the room, indicating Nina to put the tray on the table, next to the vase of flowers. "Oh, he is down in the barn while Victoria tries to talk to him. Once she is done, Nicholas will have a go at him. Don't worry, he will be occupied for a while, so you can eat, and we can talk!"

Lily watched as the Russian woman sat down on the couch, looking around at the room, while Nina had picked up the riding habit that she'd flung on the floor. It impressed her how the woman assembled the whole thing together, laid it out, and then started cleaning it with the clothes brush from Lily's stuff on the dresser. When she was done, she excused herself, and Lily said thank you.

"Please come sit down, and have something to eat! I also have a flask with some vodka in it, but if you prefer whiskey I'll go get some of Nicholas'." Catherine offered, patting the cushion next to her. Lily sighed and remembering her mother saying that anything looked better on a full stomach went and sat on the small love seat.

"I'll just have some tea, and the food does smell wonderful. I am hungry." Lily sighed forlornly, and Catherine felt very bad for the young woman. She could only imagine how scary it would be to get lost out on the open range. Lily took several bites of the food, and started to feel better immediately. She then remembered Heath's behavior, and how he had acted towards her.

"I can't believe Heath acted like it was my fault! And why was he so rude to JR? He didn't even say thank you to the man!" Lily declared, as she took another bite of chicken. Catherine patted her on the shoulder in sympathy.

"He had just arrived back at the house, and hadn't realized you were still out. When we told him he was frantic, and he and Nick were just getting ready to go look for you." Catherine announced, and then gave a small giggle "When you walked up with JR, it caught him off balance." Lily regarded her sister-in-law, not understanding the giggle. Seeing her confusion, Catherine realized that this was something else the reddish haired girl didn't know about.

"The Morton's and the Barkley's are arch-rivals, being the two largest ranches in the valley. JR and his younger brother Zack are as competitive as they come. They also like to goad the Barkley boys, and ranch hands, whenever possible. JR is especially good at riling up Nick, but Zack is not far behind. It was rather funny to see Nick restrain Heath, since it is usually the other way around." Catherine explained, and told her some other stories about past incidents.

"So I wasn't supposed to let JR bring me home? I should have wandered around all night? Why is this all my fault?" Lily wailed, as the fork clattered on the plate. She wasn't sure if she was going to cry again, or go find Heath to scream at him.

Catherine took her hands, saying "This is in no way your fault, Lily! And it serves Heath right that JR is the one who rescued you. He should not have sent you out alone, like he did!" Lily heard the anger in her sister-in-law's voice, and it made her feel better, that someone else saw her point of view. The next sentence the woman said cheered Lily even more "Just so you know, Carlos had spoken to Nick yesterday about his worry for you, and Nick had meant to talk to Heath today. I am pretty sure that from now on, Carlos will take you out if Heath can't."

"I never want to ride with Heath again! He called me a city slicker because I didn't know how to saddle a horse!" Lily was still indigent at the comment, and it showed in her flashing eyes. Catherine sighed, as she shook her head at her brother-in-law.

"Did he really say that?" She asked cautiously, and was reassured when Lily did admit he had been joking, but it still bothered her. She also told Catherine about the lecture about how to saddle the horse, and the issues with the furniture and flowers.

"I've never been in this room before, and it is rather dark. The flowers do brighten it up, and you were right to do them. It's your room now too, and Heath needs to understand that." Catherine informed her sister-in-law in a firm tone, while thinking at the back of her mind that it was good that Nicholas would be talking to Heath also.

"Mama and I talked about the adjustment to married life and in town this morning I spent some time with Aunt Anne. She told me to be patient, and to talk to Heath about my concerns." Lily admitted, suddenly glad that Catherine was here, and not Heath. She was sure that the Russian woman would sympathize with her plight.

"Lily, you need to remember that Heath was raised by his mother, with no father in the picture. He is very worldly in so many ways, because of his travels, but he doesn't really have a frame of reference for what marriage is like. You two need to work together, and he has to recognize that your needs and wants are important." Catherine spoke slowly, wanting Lily to hear what she was saying.

"As women, we set the tone of the household, and Heath has to get used to a different tone now. It is going to be harder because he didn't grow up seeing his father and mother together. He has made a lot of assumptions, based on his frame of reference, but he can't do that anymore." Catherine offered, going on "I know that he loves you very much, and you love him too Lily. He made a stupid mistake, and I have no doubt he feels very bad about it." She thought that even if he didn't before, by the time his mother and brother were done with him he would realize it.

"Do you mind me asking, Catherine, what was it like for you, when you came to the ranch?" Lily was curious if her sister-in-law had gone through the same stuff she was dealing with. She was having a hard time imaging Nick caring about furniture, and she'd seen how devoted the man was to his wife – Carlos was proof of that. Lily was hurt that Heath didn't seem to have the same regard for her that Nick had had for his wife.

"Lily, it was different for me. Even though Nicholas and I were 'married' we really weren't, so I had my own room. I didn't have to move into his space, which would have been hard." Catherine paused, wanting to say the right thing, "There was also the fact that I'd grown up on a large estate, so I was used to an agricultural way of life. I can only imagine having grown up in the city, how strange all this is to you." She was sure that pretty reddish haired girl had been overwhelmed from the day Heath had brought her home.

"So you at least knew what to expect?" Lily questioned, thinking about what her sister-in-law had told her. At least the woman had a common point of reference, something that she didn't.

"In a way, yes, Lily. There was also the fact that Nicholas and I had no illusions about each other." Catherine could see that Lily didn't comprehend what she was hearing. "He married me to get the land grant, to help the ranch, and I married him to protect my family. So I knew right away that his land was important to him, and he knew that I would do anything for my family. Since we both knew where the other was 'coming from', it was easier for us to relate to each other."

"What do you mean; you married him to protect your family?" Lily was confused by what her sister-in-law was saying. She also didn't understand what Catherine was saying, about how they had related to each other.

"In Russia, the Tsar's rule is absolute! He had arranged a marriage for me, to a man my uncle didn't approve of. However, if it was refused, the Tsar could have stripped us of our estates, and everything else. My uncle reasoned though that by marrying me to an American, he could use the excuse of the sale of territory, and the gold that came with it to placate the Tsar." Catherine knew that it probably made no sense to Lily, since she'd grown up in a country like America.

Lily considered what Catherine had told her, and couldn't fathom living somewhere that you could be ordered to do something like that. She then put that thought out of her mind, as she pondered the other comment that the Russian woman had made.

"What do you mean; it was easier for you to relate to each other? You weren't in love yet!" Lily couldn't imagine having to live with a total stranger, in what was for Catherine a foreign country.

"I think what I'm trying to say is that Nicholas and I have always been very honest with each other. We never had reason not to, because we were kind of stuck together. No one gave us a choice, and we had to make it work." Catherine took Lily's hands "The way we did it is that we talked, about everything! He knew what was important to me, and I knew the same about him. You and Heath need to get to that point in your relationship. That way, when these kinds of things, like what happened today, come along, they won't throw you for a loop."

"Heath and I have not really had a chance to talk, since we came back from the cabin. He gets up so early, and then we have meals with everyone else. At night, well after we come upstairs we." Lily stopped before she said anything more, feeling embarrassed at talking about their physical relations. However, she was taken aback when Catherine laughed at her admission.

"Well, it sounds like at least you two are doing something together!" Her laughter was merry, "Being newlyweds is fun, I do know, but you need time for talking as well as cuddling." Catherine could see that Lily was slightly uncomfortable talking about intimate matters. She once again said a prayer of thanks to great-aunt Tatiana, and all the conversations they'd had.

Lily couldn't quite believe her sister-in-law's casual attitude about bedroom habits. Thinking about that, reminded her of the early mornings, and how hard it was to sleep, before inquiring "Catherine, do you mind me asking, how do you handle Nick getting up so early?" Lily didn't want to come across as nosy, and she knew that a married couple's life was private. However, the Russian girl had been very upfront with her so far, and Lily would admit that she needed all the help she could get.

"Life does begin early in the country, no doubt on that. I wake up of course, because I'm so used to having Nicholas next to me, that when he is not there I miss him. Plus, he is not the quietest person." Catherine stopped, and giggled knowingly before she confided "We always cuddle a bit though, before he gets up, which is nice. Then he gets ready, kisses me goodbye, and I go back to sleep." She hoped she wasn't shocking Lily too much, thinking about how discomforted the young woman had looked when she mentioned going to bed. Lily, for her part, was taken aback at how much information Catherine was sharing with her, about married life.

Her sister-in-law's revelation, about how much she missed Nicholas when he wasn't there, made her a little sad too. She realized that even though she and Heath loved each other, they didn't have the closeness yet that Nick and Catherine obviously had. Lily reasoned though that the other couple had been married for a year, while her marriage wasn't even two weeks old. She had never thought marriage was as much work as it was turning out to be.

Setting that thought aside, along with not wanting to continue the conversation about bed habits, Lily came to the issue of being tired, so she stated "I try to go back to sleep, but just as I do, I have to get up to come down for breakfast!"

Catherine gave her a puzzled look "Is it an American thing to come down for breakfast? In Europe, most married women just have breakfast in their rooms. I do that, and it is very nice to have the quiet time. Plus, when Nicholas' comes up, it gives us the chance to talk together privately. That is important when you are living in close quarters with other people." Catherine, having seen how downcast Lily had been looking since she'd come to the ranch, as well as how happy she was to go to the blending house, decided there were other issues in Lily's marriage.

"Heath is in some ways a rather solitary person, Lily, having spent so much time fending for himself. He also feels things very deeply, tends to brood, and be moody at times. Jarrod once said that he wouldn't want him on a jury because he would never know what he was thinking." Catherine paused, took a deep breath "You two should try to set aside some time every day, privately, so you can talk about what is happening. Heath could explain ranch life, and help you adjust."

Lily ate some more food, while thinking about what her sister-in-law had just told her. She had to admit that she and Heath didn't have any time together by themselves. At night they would make love, and then Heath would roll over and go to sleep. In the morning he was always in a hurry to get to the barn, so he wouldn't be late. The word late triggered the memory of Heath's punctuality about not being late for meals either.

She didn't want to bring that up with Catherine, not wanting to put her on the spot about how she was late for meals at times. Lily couldn't imagine sitting upstairs and eating breakfast by herself, as she thought about her home life in St. Louis. Breakfast was always in the big kitchen, and while Mama cooked everyone sat around the table and discussed what was going to happen that day. However, it sounded like Catherine had a different point of reference. Having sat through three loud breakfasts already though, she envied her sister-in-law a bit.

"I don't want to get in the habit of eating breakfast in my room, because once our house is built, I'm going to be busy." Lily smiled at Catherine, hoping she would understand. Neither she nor Heath wanted a bunch of servants, probably just someone to help out with the cleaning, like what her mother had.

"That is right; you will be getting your own house! I am sure that you are looking forward to that." Catherine patted the young woman's arm, while privately wondering about the 'being busy' comment. She hoped that Heath wasn't going to expect Lily to do everything all by herself. She knew that American girls were different, and that Lily came from an ordinary family, but still she shouldn't have to work like a kitchen maid. Catherine put those thoughts aside though, wanting to concentrate on the immediate problem.

"May I give you some advice, and then I'll leave?" Catherine asked, and when Lily nodded her head she offered "You and Heath need to start being very honest with each other. You might not always like what you hear, but at least you will know where you stand; he will know the same about you. I think you two need to set aside some time every day, just for the chance to talk. Cuddling is fun, but you need conversation also." Catherine flashed her dimple, and Lily giggled, thinking about the fun part.

"Thank you so much for coming to see me and the food too! Oh, and please tell Nina again how nice it was for her to help." Lily felt much better, and full of hope that things would work out with Heath. The women hugged, and then Catherine excused herself, saying good night. As she walked down the hall to her room, she said a silent prayer for Lily and Heath.