This time I got it ready early, are you proud yet?

*Insert approved disclaimer*


I began driving then, Tiberius said he didn't want to go home so I drove to my old high school. I pulled into the parking lot but left by car running and the heat on, with Tiberius in the passenger seat beside me I told him about when I first realized the truth of my dreams. Of that stupid fight with the big dumb kid that wasn't to be fuck with.

"You're fucking nuts!" Tiberius laughed, his voice still raw with emotion, not yet fully settled, but he was trying.

"What was I supposed to do? Let him beat Duro up? No! As the older brother it is my duty to fuck with anyone that fucks with my little brother."

The silence was finally comfortable, each of us running through the nights events. I took the opportunity to check my cell then, Duro had texted me saying he planned to spend the night at Chadara's. When I looked to Tiberius I saw him reading the same text but from Chadara instead of Duro.

I grinned at the beautiful, dark man beside me, "My place?" It was easy to forget that I hadn't known him for years, for my whole life.

Tiberius seemed content to just go with things as he nodded, looking down at his hands, the ghost of a smile on his face.

~~o~~

I was dreaming, I knew I was because I knew this dream.

I was trotting through a forest, my long legs eating up the miles, leading a ragged band of Spartacus' rebels. Back at the villa we had split up the men, some of us made for Vesuvius under my command, in hope of finding somewhere safer to camp than the villa, while Spartacus' group left on a mad quest to save Naevia from her fate in the mines.

We never should have split up.

Nasir had gone with them.

What was I thinking? How could I have let him go without me like that?

Now I lead a group rebels and freed slaves to hopefully meet Spartacus' men on their way back to us. If all had gone well Spartacus and Crixus ought to be on their way back with Mira, Naevia, and Nasir.

I was so excited to see Nasir again -Ahh ignorance is truly bliss- we had yet to either of us, express our feeling for each other but I knew that I already desired the Syrian. Perhaps when all was settled and we could finally have moment to rest I would talk to him about such things.

But such chance wasn't soon in coming.

Through the forest gloom shadows began taking shape the first was Spartacus, a man dragged between him and Mira.

Nasir, Nasir dragged between them.

I stifled a laugh, of course Spartacus would leave no man behind if he could help it.

Thank the God for Spartacus' value of life, no matter who it belonged to.

There too was Naevia, panicked and hanging close by the others. They heard us coming and Spartacus and Mira lowered the man they carried to the ground,

No.

Propping him against a tree,

No.

He and Mira taking up sword and preparing for battle,

No.

They must assume us to be Romans.

We came upon then, a grin splitting my face as I came up to Spartacus.

Please, no.

Then I got a look at the man Naevia had been set to guard and stumbled in surprise, all of my excitement die.

No matter how many times I dreamed it, my heart still broke.

Walking up to him took all of my willpower, I didn't want to see Nasir like this, I didn't want to know, didn't want to learn of his death, but I had to know. I took his face in my hand, he was pale, eyes far off and unseeing, he looked right through me, but not dead, thank the Gods, not dead.

This was my fault! I should have gone with them, should have protected him.

All I could see was my failure. My failure to protect him, my failure to care for him, my failure to watch his back. This was my fault.

~~o~~

I woke violently, lost between then and now, all that registered was Tiberius' face above me, so alive with worry, so blessedly far from death. I didn't think just surged forward and upward, one hand locking behind his naked back, the other tangling itself in the long hair at the nape of his neck. I buried my face in the joint between his neck and shoulder, breathing deeply. Tiberius smelt of oil paints, crisp shampoo, and aftershave, unlike my dreams where he smelt of dirt, grime, unwashed hair and the heavy stink of sweat, but under it all was spice that never changed, smelling like cinnamon, forest musk, and something that could only be the smell of home. It was buried under the all the mundane but it was still there, he was still there.

Tiberius sat back, pulling me up with him until I settled in his lap, he didn't pull away or say anything, he just held me. Humming some made up tune he rubbed my back, waiting for me to come back from whatever dark places my dreams had lead me too.

Slowly I came back from my haunted half dreams of a long gone past, my breathing slowed and steadied from panting gasps to regular breaths. My hands stilled, I didn't even realize I had been shaking till I stopped. But finally I calmed down.

Normally I'd wake alone, riding out the horrors of my dreams in my dark room, huddled shaking on my bed till sunrise. As if the dreams were monsters that lived under the bed, coming out in the dead of night before they slipped back into hiding with the dawn.

"Apologies," I finally mumbled into his shoulder. Still a little lost in the space between my dreams and reality.

"It's okay," neither of us seemed to sure what to do. "If you want, I'll listen."

I shook my head, the idea of reliving that moment, even if only through words hurt to much, if I could I'd wipe those memories away.

A gentle tug, Tiberius pulled back enough to look me in the eyes, I'd seen that look before, in another life, when I'd wake from nightmares of Duro's death. Nasir had been with me then, he'd look at me with the same searching gaze, as if finding all the cracks inside my heart that needed filling. As if he were making note of all my flaws so he could find them again in the daylight. So he'd know what parts of me still needed work. It was a look that made me feel like he meant to patch me up, fill in the holes, and seal the cracks.

Another tug, still gentle but with real force behind it. "Come on," Tiberius announced, standing and pulling me up with him by my hands.

It was dark, a little after 4 in the morning by the clock on my bed side table. Tiberius kept hold of my hand, his long hair left loose, falling over his bare back in dark waves, clad in only his underwear like I was. Neither of us moved to turn on any lights as Tiberius lead me through my own house, the man didn't make a sound as he ghosted through the hall and down the stairs.

In the living room he pushed me onto the sofa, pulling the throw off the back of the sofa and draping it over me.

"I'll be right back okay," Tiberius promised pressing a soft kiss to my forehead before he left the room.

I was about to get up and look for Tiberius when he returned with a tub of ice cream from the freezer and a pair of spoons. He gave me an expectant look, nudging my knees apart with one foot. I made room, letting Tiberius settle against me, between my legs, and pulled the blanket about us both.

We sat there in silence for a long time, eating ice cream from the tub and cuddling.

Tiberius was the first to speak, "I was adopted," He began, snuggling closer to my chest. "My parents called me Nasir -my brother too. But my parents. . . . They died when I was 3, so I don't really remember them."

His voice was thick with pain and I didn't have the words to help.

"You don't have to tell me,"

"I know; I want to."

I was touched, that he would share such a story with me. Not knowing what else to do I pressed a kiss to Tiberius' shoulder.

"Like I said, I was 3, my brother 7, we didn't have any other family to take us in. We ended up in foster care, we went to the first and second family together, but when I was 4 I got adopted. They. . . They only wanted me." To be taken from family like that, and so young too. I couldn't imagine what that must of been like for Tiberius. I locked my arms around his waist, pressing feather light kisses across the bare expanse of his shoulders and back. "They're the ones that re-named me Tiberius. "

Something weighed heavily on my mind, it told me there was much more to this story. "They mistreated you, didn't they?" I knew a different telling of such a story, an earlier telling of it, one were a boy was taken from his family, given a new name, and groomed to be a perfect body slave.

"The man tried, but I ran away when I was 15." Tiberius explained, his voice so steady despite the past horrors it implied. "I don't know why I never changed my name back, I guess I didn't see the point?" He shrugged against me, as if the whole mess was something small, something that didn't really matter.

I released a breath I hadn't known I'd been holding. "Gratitude for telling me, I know it must have been hard."

Nasir ignored me and just held up a spoonful of ice cream, "Are you going to help me finish this?" He asked, "Or am I getting fat alone?"